A bone to pick with Misch Barton!

Mischa Barton you’re too thin, that’s why your pants are falling down! You need some curves to help hold your clothes up. You should go out to dinner with Jessica Simpson – maybe to a chili cook off – she’ll put some meat on them bones!


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Did the butler do it? – & by butler read the druggie nanny

New developments in the John Travolta case – although it’s still technically the Jett Travotla case. When last we heard from John he was giving various accounts of Jett’s ‘misfortune’, with widely differing details: Jett died of a head injury, there was no head injury and he died of a seizure, he’d been alone for almost 18 hours when he was found, the nanny never left his side, he was dead when they found him, and he was alive when taken to the hospital. The story seemed to evolve over time, and become more elaborate with each telling.
Then there were the extortionists. It seems that corrupt Bahamians – some of whom were Travolta’s close personal friends -were trying to shake him down for money. Initially it was 20 mill, though this detail changed too: it was later upgraded to 25 mill, as if to add emphasis. Though a couple of local big wigs lost their jobs over that one, they insisted that they were innocent, and Senator Pleasant Bridgewater even insisted she would fight to vindicate herself no matter what it took. I’m told by some Caribbean friends that you don’t ever want to make a Caribbean woman angry. It’s just not worth it.
So while the world waited for the other shoe to drop, it did! A document got released calling the Travoltas even further into question. The document in question was a refusal to transport, and it was a kind of public relations black eye for Mr Kotter’s most likely to succeed. Now what refusal to transport means is that when the ambulance showed up, John and Kelly didn’t want to hand Jet over. Since the ambulance is on the hook for this, next of kin have to sign a waiver saying that they refuse transport. It releases the ambulance from liability. Now the idea that John and Kelly were bickering with the EMT while their beloved son was dying nearby doesn’t exactly make them look like mother and father of the year.
Apparently the Bahamians had even more ammunition. There has been some talk about tape recorded conversations between the Bahamian officials and representatives of the Travolta family. These have now been handed over to the FBI, who are giving it the CSI treatment with their voice analysis specialists. So perhaps this seemed like the ideal time for whomever – we’ll call them unnamed sources for the sake of convenience – to drop the latest bombshell. That bombshells comes in the form of a story on the National Enquirer’s website that John’s very good friend Jeff Kathrein, known to the world as ‘The Manny’ – the man who’s job it was to mind Jett, had only just completed a Scientology drug rehab program. This is confirmed by a Scientology watch website.
So this would seem to point a finger of blame in the general direction of Mr Kathrein. That is if he had been some how incapacitated, or merely incompetent, due to some unresolved drug issue. it’s convenient too. Now that the Bahamians seem to be fighting back with a vengeance (I’m told that they’re known for that), it would set up another convenient scape goat – fall guy, should such a thing ever be necessary. John and Kelly didn’t do anything wrong – it was corrupt Bahamians fiddling with records so that they could set up a blackmail shakedown. If it wasn’t corrupt Bahamians then it was merely a case of good natured John being too trusting, and leaving his kid with a nanny on drugs. Why that’s just the sort of thing that any parent who cares too much might do! However depending on what the FBI finds on those tapes, who’s speaking, how nervous they get, and how they responded to federal pressure (better than Hollywood rat Anne Hathaway, John might hope), things might be a little past blame it on the nanny (‘the butler did it’?)


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Alba seen in public with book!

I hear that she took an IQ test once, and the result was negative.

Jessica Alba is still trying to live down the dumb rumours. This time lovely Jessica was seen out and about reading what appeared to be a book. She’s also working more big words into her vocabulary – her recent blog post nearly ran the gamut of the dictionary’s I section. Coming soon  the letter J! 
Well it could be worse toots – at least you’re only dumb, if you were Jessica Simpson then you’d be fat and dumb. Now that’s a real problem! It must be comforting to know that there some one even worse off, and Simpson can’t hide behind a paper back either!
Incidentally during her recent read in, Jess still managed to carry on a conversation with the people around her, without losing her place. That’s because she seldom turned the page. Who are you kidding you big phony. Now return that book to the prop department! We wouldn’t want her to strain that pretty little head would we.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Mischa Barton Flashes the Goods

Anyone wanna see a famous chick’s panties??

She also looks like she’s lost even more weight – Ya hear that Jessica Simpson, if you wanna lose those unsightly pounds then you’d better get yourself back on the bottle pronto! Show business is a tough racket – it ain’t all Dancing With the Stars
Speakingof which Lisa Rinna is actually begging for work. She recently circulated some flier amongst the professional community in LA reminding them of her professional attitude, and offering to do anything. It’s a song they’ve heard before and besides, the rumours that her mouth had finally swallowed her head haven’t been totally discounted.
BTW it might be best not to mock Ms Barton. If the following picture is any indication, she’s developing super vision! Either that or she’s been taken over by pod people!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Mugshot Mischa Sets the Record Straight About Gay Kiss

There’s been a spate of celebrity pregnancy rumours lately. One celeb who’s not working on getting knocked up is Mischa Barton. She seems to be busy working on her next mugshot. Now it’s no secret that Michsa likes the sauce. That first came to light several years back and shortly after she was canned from the OC. She’d been attending Nicole Ritchie’s Labor Day party, and had to be carted out on a stretcher and taken to the emergency ward. Her publicist explained that it was a reaction to mixing booze with some anti biotics, and that she had been successfully treated by means of a stomach pump. The grapevine said that she’d actually been mixing booze and pills.
That suspicion seemed to be confirmed later when she got herself busted for pot possession and driving under the influence. Her mugshot was major news in the ent gossip community. Mischa made a public statement assuring everyone that she wasn’t like those others girls – ie Lindsay Lohan, and that the comparisons made her want to die of shame. It didn’t make her want to stop drinking. In fact she made the papers again, when one of her boyfriends wandered off on her during a night out. Mischa had been over doing it, and the guy had had enough. So while Mischa was looking for a convenient place to vomit, boyfriend lit out and never returned. Mischa was a bit disconcerted for about 5 mins,  and then stumbled over to a near by couch to sleep it off. It was 2 AM before she regained consciousness.
Well this past Fashion Week has seen Mischa up to it again. Some pics made the rounds; one of a bleary eyed Mischa attempting to hold herself upright while her right nipple popped out. Another, posted on Perez Hilton, showed Mischa sitting around in a mini dress and apparently unaware that she was flashing the goods. So the obvious conclusion is that Mischa is hitting the bottle again, and has become sloppy in public.
The plot thickens. Not only has Mischa had some wardrobe malfunctions, she’s engaged in some uncharacteristic public behaviour. The most notable was her kissing session with another young woman. That incident occurred at her 23rd birthday party. Now the blogs had a field day with that by implying that Barton had gone Lohan. Barton will have none of it though. In a statement to OK Magazine Barton has said that the girl on girl kiss was “strictly Platonic” – I didn’t think people still used that line, and that the blogs were making too much of it. Says Mischa “I just want to take a moment to clear the air and say that we were joking around. That kiss was taken totally out of context.” Well it’s a good thing that she set us straight on that, because she was in danger of becoming interesting there for a second or two! Meanwhile I’ll keep waiting for Mugshot No 2 to emerge – she’s way overdue.
BTW the current rumours about Angelina Jolie wearing her dress backwards are that she was too stoned to figure out which side of the designer dress was actually the front. She gave a flaky explanation about deliberately wearing it that way, perhaps as some sort of statement on world poverty and the less fortunates who can’t afford designers duds – but it wasn’t very convincing.  She’d made an ass of herself and the tabs were quick to pounce. I guess that Angie can forget about that Oscar now, not that she was ever really in the running.
Incidentally Heather Mills has just been named moodiest star. Now that can be right. For one thing she’s not a star. For another she only has one mood – belligerent.
There could be other explanations for Mischa and Angelina’s odd behaviour besides over indulgence. Perhaps the ladies were feeling the exuberance of this hopeful new era. Can you blame them? We have an intelligent, level headed new leader; and Hitler has gone back to the ranch. Not a moment to soon either, since with the terrorism hysteria, the Patriot Act, and Homeland Security – who knows where it might’ve lead. Perhaps, to something like this!
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Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Britney Spears Winning Form




Jessica Simpson may have packed on the poundage, but Britney Spears is in great shape – maybe best ever. Maybe Jess could paste these onto the fridge, either to motivate her to diet, or discourage her from eating – whichever works!


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Katie Holmes Preggo??

Tom’s gettin’ his money’s worth out of that turkey baster! Hope he saved that Scientology birthing muzzle! 

They’re taking this allegedly sham marriage much farther than I ever thought they would (Maybe it would have been simpler to have described it as an alleged marriage). I’m not speaking about the sacrifice of Katebot’s career either – you actually have to have a career before you can put it on hold. I’m talking about bringing another kid in on the act. Still they’re bravely keeping their game faces on as they try to convince the world that they have a perfect marriage, even superior to Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s (Lizzie Horseback claims that her marriage is so good that her husband doesn’t even need to masturbate or look at porn. That low blow is bound to hit a sore spot with women who take issue with their guy’s fixations; be it porn, or Erin Esurance!). They may have the perfect shame marriage, but remember Praise American Ideal spells I Married a Space Alien!


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists