Whoopee Goldberg says blackface is okay, but only in Australia


Weird Science?

So according to Whoopee Goldberg the black face skit is okay, but only in Australia, where such antics are considered to be a tribute. I’m not sure by what reasoning she arrives at this conclusion, other than it’s Australia, so everything works in reverse: summer is winter, and water drains down toilets in the wrong clockwise direction. So outrageous bad taste must be a compliment! It must be some weird application of the Coriolis Effect. I’m sure that the Coriolis Effect explains many of life’s unsolved mysteries, like why the British drive on the wrong side of the road, how George W Bush got elected and then re elected, and how unlikely stud Jon Gosselin keeps baggin’ chicks!

It’s a little bit eerie to stop and think how many people have videoed their toilets flushing and posted them on youtube. Coming soon to Wondertrash: The Foucault pendulum and it’s shocking unsuspected effect on popular culture!


David Letterman Divorce Battle Brewing

Polanski might not be the only one getting a “lifetime achievement award”

David Letterman’s decision to call out his blackmailer Robert “Joe” Halderman on national TV may prove to be an expensive one. His wife and long term companion Regina Lasko is none too pleased. In fact she feels humiliated that Dave went on his show and admitted this to the world. So now she looking to get even.

At least no one was called Sugartits

Get even means divorce. In Dave’s case divorce means divvying up a 300 million fortune! You can probably guess that Dave is pretty well heeled. He owns the production company that makes his show – Worldwide Pants (He gonna have to change that name!). He also has extensive real estate holdings. Add to that his annual 45 million salary, and that’s a lot of loot to fight over. That’s before you even get around to deciding custody of the couple’s 6 year old son Harry.

Lets just hope that Dave’s next show doesn’t feature a sock puppet!

Regina is well pissed off over this. Not only did Dave cheat on her through out their 19 year relationship, but he continued to see gal pal Stephanie Birkitt even after he married Lasko. As recently as last fall Dave was still involved with the girl, and giving her long, out of the way rides to her home at least once a week. In fact the affairs ongoing nature is what pissed her boyfriend Halderman off. While Steph was away, perhaps with Dave, “Joe” found her steamy ‘sex diary’, plus lots of racy photos. The documentary evidence proved that the relationship was still going on and Halderman went into a jealous fit. That’s when the 2 million dollar black mail scheme got cooked up. Dave didn’t get were he is today by giving a million dollars to everyone who asked him for it. However the ways this thing is unfolding this time it might’ve been cheaper if he just paid the guy. Better still he might’ve tried practicing responsible gun control! On the up side I hear that Mel Sugartits Gibson is looking for a golf partner.


Avril Lavinge Dating Billionaire

Avril Lavigne isn’t wasting time since splitting from Deryck Whibley, and she’s trading up. Avril has been linked to Dole food heir Justin Murdock! From Star Magazine:

Avril Lavigne was partying like a single gal even before she and husband Deryk Whibley announced their split on Sept. 17. So it’s no shocker that the “Sk8er Boi” singer has already jumped into a new relationship – with Dole Food Company billionaire Justin Murdock. “Avril and Justin have been to Hawaii together but mostly they’ve been holed up at his place,” an insider tells Star. “Avril’s had a thing for Justin for a while.” Indeed, the two were caught getting close at L.A.’s Delux Bar last December.
But Avril, 25, isn’t ready to go public yet, says the insider. “That’s fine by him – it means they’ll spend more time alone!” As for Deryck, he stepped out with model Hanna Beth Merjos in Las Vegas on Oct. 2.

Since her recording career has been losing momentum dating a billionaire might be a wise move. Nice work if you can get it! She might want to wrap this up fast though. It looks like the constant boozing is beginning to catch up with her. In fact her face is taking on a bloated and puffy quality.