Coming soon to the National Enquirer

Good to see that the NE is still on the cutting edge of American journalism. It’ll probably take Dateline or 20/20 6 months to get around to something like this.


Kirstie Alley will be so hugely pissed that she didn’t make the cover. It gives her one less thing to twitter about in her otherwise full & active life. Well maybe if she was on her agent’s ass, instead of cruising up and down the potato chip aisle as Costco (that’s the new intensive physical training programing she’s mentioned) then she could’ve made the America’s Worst Fat Asses issue too!

people of costco

To see more of Costco customers in their natural habitat link over to PeopleofCostco. Incidentally I can almost confirm that the original idea for the people of Costco website came from a special needs student who wanted to call it piggiesatcostco.

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Daniel Radcliffe: Will he go Lennon or McCartney?

The Things We Think and Do Not Say

So I guess that the ultimate $64 000 question is how far will this young man eventually go to distance himself from the role that made him a star – in an attempted to rediscover his lost innocence, and how much will we resent him for doing so? Maybe he’ll get smart and learn to cash in on playing the game through a life style of self betrayal. Stay tuned while they show him the money!

Coming soon to Wondertrash Oprah Winfrey’s top secret weight loss secrets revealed for the first time anywhere!

does harry potter have a trick up his sleeve to slim Oprah down

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Why Do We Cheat?

Lucky George W got it out of his system by wrecking several countries, including his own!

In the wake of Tiger Woods’ little peccadillo pro pundits are asking the question “Why do powerful men cheat?” They seem to have dismissed the question “why do middle class and poor men cheat?” It’s the sign of a highly trained mind to be able to remain narrowly focused, and they seem to be focusing on the Freudian angle this time: excess libidinous energy! When in doubt stick with the classics! Your mistakes will then be those that any great mind might have made!

http://www.viddler.com/player/13220779/

live a little, regret a lot

Of course the answer is obvious – it’s a crime of opportunity. Anyone will do it if they get the chance and feel that they can get away with it. Besides, to a point it’s socially conditioned; what kind of wimp plays it safe and doesn’t take a risk? Thank goodness we have experts to distract us from the obvious – many a tear must fall, but it’s all in the game; the game must go on.

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Trouble For Tiger

http://www.viddler.com/player/a83665e5/

the many faces of Tiger Woods

nice guys can finish first – as long as they don’t get caught!

It looks like the shit is really starting to hit the fan for Tiger Woods. Only mere hours after crashing his car while leaving his own drive way rumours started circulating that there was some sort of domestic dispute going on. To be specific Tiger’s wife Elin found out that her husband was sharing the love and flipped out. She ‘allegedly’ physically attacked him (which is never condonable – even if you’re not Rihana) and left marks on his face inconsistent with a crash. Hence the 24-48 lay low period before Tiger appeared publicly.

I’ve got nothing to hide and I want to make sure that it stays hidden!

The woman in question – though more are emerging by the minute – is New York “hostess” Rachel Uchitel. Rachel has some tacky plastic surgery of the over inflated lips variety, and has a job which requires her to rub shoulders with many celebrities. What ever else she’s rubbed with celebrities is at this point a matter of speculation – but she has adamantly denied rubbing anything against Tiger Woods. She then went out and hired high profile rogue lawyer Gloria Allred.

Gloria Allred – The Dr Phil McGraw of the law

To familiarize you with Allred, she’s the gal who sued the Boy Scouts of America for sexual discrimination. She also briefly represented Octomom but quit after calling Octomom too crazy to work with. Coming from Allred that’s saying something (Like Mussolini saying that he found Hitler to temperamental!). Now Allred has tried to build a name, if not an actual reputation, for herself by tilting at high profile windmills (she’d chase an ambulance, but only if Lindsay Lohan was in the back). Many of her cases are farces and fiascos, but has gotten her name out there. So now Allred is working for the girl with the bionic lips. A slight over reaction for some one who doesn’t know Tiger.

You can tell

As it turns out Ms. Uchitel (rhymes with “you can tell”) might have good need of an attorney. It seems that she is acquainted with Woods after all. By acquainted I mean that boyhood friend and president of Tiger Woods Design Byron Bell has been arranging some ‘meetings’ between Tiger and the lady who rubs shoulders with celebrities (They’re called trysts in polite society and fucking around by the rest of us). It seems that Bell arranged an all expense paid trip for Ms Uchitel down to Australia – foolishly using a credit card that could be traced back to him. He also made sure Uchitel had adequate accommodations by booking her into the Crown Towers Hotel in Melbourne. As coincidence would have it Tiger was playing in the Australian Masters at the time – let dirty minds make of it what they will. At the rate this thing is unraveling though, in a matter of days those dirty minds might have more to work with than they know what to do with! Good luck playing out of the rough this time Tiger.

Don’t Cry Now

BTW – for those losing their faith in romance remember that Katie Holmes never has to worry about Tom Cruise being with another woman!

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