Johnny Depp & Tim Burton

Johnny Depp and Tim Burton have a long career working together. They also have a new movie coming out called Alice in Wonderland. Here they are now, together, talking about stuff, and to some guy called Jonathan Ross.


Cameron Douglas Blames Fame

Michael Douglas oldest son Cameron is in deep shit. He was busted in a drug sting at the Gansevoort Hotel in NYC trying to sell $18 000 in methamphetamine to an undercover cop. Not content with that kind of trouble he then got his girlfriend to smuggling heroine to him through open court. Now he’s looking at some very serious jail time. Not surprisingly Cameron Douglas defense attorney has an explanation for his client’s behavior, and that is that it wasn’t his fault.

According to Dan Gitner, the hired gun who’ll be representing the younger Douglas in his trial, the poor lad never stood a chance in life because he was Michael Douglas’ son.

“He didn’t benefit from his celebrity. He was hurt by it in a variety of ways, including ways in this case. He has been sort of a reckless person since he was really young, endangering himself constantly. Not violent, just screwing up in every way – car accidents, motorcycle accidents, tattoos. I think a lot of it had to do with who his parents are.”

Now you might think that this is leading up to the ‘reality TV defense’. Fame is destructive and poor Cameron got a heavy dose at an early age. Not so, his lawyer has something else in mind. What they maintain is that his privileged position gave him a sense of entitlement, as if the normal rules didn’t apply. He felt free to screw up because he knew that his father would be there to fix everything. Since this situation wasn’t created by him, but was preexisting he can’t be held responsible. Call it the accident of birth defense – “He’s a Hollywood kid so what do you expect?”

The flaw in the argument is that a preexisting set of circumstances don’t absolve a person of responsibility – since they are almost by definition responsible for how they ‘respond’ to those circumstances. By the same argument children of divorce, borken homes, etc could claim that their won behavior was predetermined by a set of prior conditions that they didn’t choose. Ultimately it would be a get out of jail free card that could apply to everyone. After all, who asked to be born?

There is another theory, and that is that Mikey just isn’t much of a father. He can’t really be blamed for that since he too was burdened with a “preexisting condition”. His father was Kirk Douglas and Kirk was the biggest prick in Hollywood in his day – which is saying something. So Michael came by selfishness and irresponsibility honestly. Mike became a drifter in his early 20’s in part he says because of his won family situation. While his own brothers have had problems with drugs and the law, he adapted to the Hollywood life style, and became ‘self preoccupied’.

While being interviewed about his son’s misfortunes Michael described it as terrible and himself as being devastated. Then, in almost the same breath he went on to describe Viagra as a wonderful enhancement to life with Catherine Zeta Jones. The dirty old bugger’s one track mind is beginning to wander in the same direction. Then again I think that Michael was always the sort of person to remain focused on the important things – what he wanted. Being exposed to that kind of selfishness might have made young Cameron feel nothing he did would make any real difference in his situation any way. Dad was gonna have it the way he wanted regardless of how that affected the rest of the world. He might as well let the bull run. Besides, I’m sure he knows that his Dad can take it. Life goes on, as long as the Viagra doesn’t run out.


Carly Simon’s "You’re So Vain" Man? David Geffen!

Remember when Carly Simon had that hit “You’re So Vain” and everyone tried to figure out who it was. The finger of suspicion finally landed on Warren Beatty since he was so vain he wouldn’t get why the song wasn’t about him. Even Warren Beaty figured that it sounded like him, since he called Carly to thank her for the lovely song. Later on in an interview he told a reporter “Let’s stop kidding and face it, the song’s about me.” See, he still doesn’t get it.

Well no one should be more surprised and disappointed than Warren himself to learn that the song really wasn’t about him. It was about Simon’s boss and sometime lover, the sometimes heterosexual David Geffen (That’s right, you heard me – rock music is so gay). Carly wrote the song in a jealous fit when Geffen took up with rival Joni Mitchell, and began hyping her career at Carly’s expense. If it’s any consolation to the so vain Warren Beatty, Robert Wagner did almost shoot him over Natalie Wood (Robert Wagner and Warren Beatty are old geezers that your grandmas used to get wet over back in the days of Betty White, John Barrymore and Fred Flintstone). That’s gotta be worth something.

Now from vain to hot with hot fact girl’s hot TV babes.

Hot’s a relative term since Liv Tyler gets the ‘wondertrash position’.

liv tyler wonder woman
Wondertrash Entertainment Trivia: They never said it! TV and movies are filled with things that though remembered clearly, were never said. For instance lines like “Play it again Sam“, “Win one for the Gipper“, “Beam me up” are famous one liners that were never actually said.

As an entertainment blogger I often asked about examples like these. Person repeats a line and then asks if it was ever actually said in film or on TV. I recently received one e mail from just such a reader who wanted to know if a throw away line he’s been using for years was ever actually said as he remembers it. Well I’m sorry to inform the aforementioned e mailer that no Leo Gorcey never said “Yap, yap, yap! What are you mutts yappin’ about?“, neither as one of the Dead End Kids/Bowery Boys, nor in any other film/TV project. I guess this explains those bewildered looks you mentioned. Hope that I’ve been helpful.
leo gorcey
PS. The reader might actually be thinking of James Cagney’s “Yap, yap, yap, quit your yappin’!” in the grapefruit scene from Public Enemy.

There, you see!!!


Tiger Woods Loses Gatorade

It’s a bad time to be Tiger Woods. His numerous mistresses have gone public and some are talking to lawyers. Now the silver lining in this is that the lawyer is Gloria Allred. She’s a legal crank better known for suing the Boyscout of America and for making outrageous statements tot he press than she is for winning cases. However there’s more bad news for Tiger and that bad news is even worse. Sponsors are dropping Woods like he was a hot potato. The latest lucrative contract to get voided is with Gatorade.

Now Gatorade does promise to restore energy. I guess that they don’t want people to get the wrong idea, and expect to get too energetic. That level of energy would be hard to live up to. So creating those kind of expectations could only lead to disappointment. Maybe Tiger’s people could work something out with the Viagra manufacturers? There has to be products Woods could still represent.


Reach for the Top

What’s the point in scaling the summit if no one is there to watch you fall?

uncouthCelebrities have a real impulse to shoot for the stars. If their personal lives are any indication it sometimes seems like the stars have started shooting back. Still you have to look at it from the celebrities viewpoint: “Why be content where I am when I can miserable, though possibly better off, some where else?”

Try to be something special, just like everyone else!

It’s easy to pick on entertainers for their over arching ambition, and the insecurities it is so deeply rooted in. They’re not alone however. ‘No one followed their demon until it mislead them’ an old saying goes. Ironically for those seeking distinction, it’s fairly commonplace to ‘feel the need for speed’, as the following short video clip demonstrates. Keep your eyes open for Wilie Coyote and his proud sponsors ACME.

fail & pwned or prisoners of gravity?
mocksure your parachute is fully loaded

If you can’t be good be fast, if you can’t be fast be first (if you can’t even be first then be Wondertrash! It’s the distinction of being last plus a honorable mention.), and most importantly make sure that your parachute has been properly packed!


Coming soon to the National Enquirer

It’s America’s Pultizer Prize nominated super market tabloid. Considering what masquerades as news, is it surprising when news masquerades as gossip?


Canadian Ladies Get Rowdy

American discovery of Canada continues

beer on ice

The Canadian Ladies Hockey Team
celebrated their gold medal victory in style, by drinking beer and smoking cigars on the ice. Now that has some people in a bother, ’cause legal drinking age in Vancouver is 19, and some of the young women involved were 18. So some little tattletale or another (probably the person who took the pictures) decided to report them to the IOC. That lead to talks of an investigation, an apology from the rowdy ladies, and some amusing commentary by Jimmy Kimmel.

brew ha ha

From the ensuing uproar you’d think that the young ladies had been carrying on like a pack of Lindsay Lohans! It’s not like they went on some alcoholic rampage: starting barroom brawls & followed up with a group trip to the tattoo parlor. If some Americans seem a little snarky about the Canadian Ladies’ unladylike behavior, perhaps it’s because they’re beginning to doubt whether their men’s team could take them. At least we’ve finally settled Billy Bob Thornton’s “mashed potatoes” issue. Enough gravy for ya?

Remember to keep visiting Wondertrash – the alcohol fueled blog!