Jesse James is cruel & unusual

If Jesse James is this bad then Sandra Bullock is really stupid

When the shit hits the fan it really hits. The latest Jesse James allegations have him pulling a Michael Vick. Sources are accusing James, though not yet formally, of animal abuse:

Jesse James may have entered rehab to stave off a divorce from Sandra Bullock but that’s the least of his problems as a horrible new scandal has emerged. He’s accused of outrageous cruelty involving his pet dogs!
Two of Jesse’s favorite pit bulls fought in a bloody battle to the death – and Jesse’s terrified dog Rudy was ripped apart in the savage attack that tore a leg almost completely from his body.

Shockingly, the tattooed TV mechanic treats the vicious encounter as a big joke, charge sources.

“Sandra was horrified and in tears when she first heard what had happened to those animals,” said an insider.
“She believed he was this gentle biker with a heart of gold. But if he can let this sort of thing happen to his dogs, that tells you who he really is – Jesse IS heartless.”

“A gentle biker with a heart of gold”! So was Sandra dropped on her head or something? There’s also some nasty talk about foursomes and unprotected sex:

In an exclusive interview with Life & Style, tattoo artist and owner of Ocean Beach Tattoo and Piercing in San Diego, Eric McDougall, and receptionist, Skittles Valentine, confess to having a freaky foursome with Jesse James and Michelle “Bombshell” McGee last June – and Skittles had intercourse with Jesse without a condom.
The racy encounter took place one drunken night after the Ink-N-Iron tattoo festival last June while Sandra Bullock was busy promoting The Proposal. “Michelle came into my shop and was like, ‘I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriend,’” Eric tells Life & Style. “I recognized Jesse right away.”

After Eric filled in Jesse’s octopus tattoo with a little color free of charge, Jesse and Bombshell went to a liquor store downstairs and returned with booze to lighten the mood. Michelle made the first move, kissing Skittles, and then they all found their way to the tattoo parlor’s private back room. “Jesse and Michelle both wanted Skittles,” says Eric, noting there was never a mention of Sandra.

“Eric and I were having sex, so we switched off, and Jesse and I had sex,” Skittles tells Life & Style exclusively. “I had an awesome time. I think Jesse is so cute.” The foursome ended only when Bombshell got jealous of Skittles spending too much time with Jesse — and the two ended up in a hair-pulling, knock-down fight! (Requests for comments from Jesse and Michelle were not returned.) While Eric can’t recall if he used protection during the more intimate part of the night, Jesse didn’t use any protection. “Maybe I used a latex glove,” says Eric. “I don’t know. Sometimes as a last-case scenario I tie a latex glove finger off.”

James James might have incurred more image damage than rehab can cure! If even half of this is true then Sandra better have the name of a good doctor! Meanwhile the rest of us are waiting for the inevitable Jesse James mugshot (Or pix of Bullock’s swastikaed twat!). As for Miss Congeniality, who knows how much of this shit is gonna start sticking to her too – as if she didn’t know. Does she really think we’re stupid enough to believe that she’s stupid enough not to have been aware of this?

On the bright side she has lost 14 pounds. With a fab new make over this will be water under the bridge! Next stop Dancing With the Stars.


Jesse James Checks into Rehab

Things keep going from bad to worse for Jesse James. A 4rth woman has come forward claiming to have carnal knowledge of the Vanilla Gorilla. So his slut count is steadily rising. Sandra Bullock calls him once a day to chat with the kids but has made it clear that she is not interested in his pleas. So that leaves him seeking redemption celebrity style – through a trip to sex rehab.

At least he picked a good time. Jesse is rehabbing at he same time as some ‘Nazi pix’ are hotting the web. The photos show JJ dolled up like Col. Klink & wearing a WW2 German officer’s cap and giving a Hiel Hilter salute. His company logo also features some Nazi type imagery. That leaves people asking the obvious question “How could Sandra not know that she was married to a neo Nazi? She is half German herself. Something tells me this story is just warming up and that Jesse might not be the only one doing some explaining.


Kardashian dumped over sex tape

Short cut to fame costs sex taper in other areas – like being a wife

Kim Kardhasian shot to fame after a sex tape made with her former boyfriend Ray J hit the Internet. It made her a Paris Hilton type celebrity phenomenon. Ray J admits that he taped the video, but denies that he released it. According to him Kardashian took it with her, then claimed to have lost it whole moving. Since she’s the one who benefited from it’s release that’s entirely plausible.

By benefited I refer to the dubious celebrity that Kardashian has since enjoyed. She even went on to date Reggie Bush and was at the Superbowl sidelines when the Saints won. There was even some serious talk of marriage, mostly from Kim. Amazing what doors a sex tape can open these days.

Don’t let the door hit your fat ass on the way out

The sex tape has opened one more door for Kardashian. This one is marked exit. Seems that though Reggie enjoyed screwing a sex tape girl, he wasn’t so keen on introducing her as Mrs. Bush. To be more specific Reggie’s mom caught wind of the tape, and of Kim’s intentions, and put her foot down. That kind of notoriety is an edge that cuts both ways. Great if you want to go viral, and handicap if you intend to go legit one day – as Paris Hilton could tell you. So what will Kim’s next move be – calling Bush out publicly as a momma’s boy? I suppose that it couldn’t hurt.

Kardashian will probably land on her feet after this recent dumping. She might as well land somewhere else considering how well padded she is.

caution: X-tra wide load

Speaking of notoriety here’s Gary the Spaceman Bell with a topic everyone over 18 is against – Christmas. Spaceman will reveal the true birthday of Christ and tell you why Amanita muscaria is as important to Christmas as mistletoe. The good news is that Christmas is about 9 months away. The bad news is that it’s even worse than you imagined!

Reindeer can fly cause Santa gets high – on magic mushrooms!
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Leave it to Cleaver

Corrie’s Sue Cleaver charged with drunk driving

I know that post title sounds like a Dexter episode but I can explain. Craig Charles isn’t the only irresponsible lush on long running Brit soap Coronation Street. You might recall that some security cam footage of a drunken Charles made the web shortly after he was picked up for being DIP. That was shortly after his Brit tab interview admitting to years of cocaine addiction which pushed him to the brink of suicide and into renowned Brit rehab the Priory.

Now another Corrie start is in some booze related trouble. Sue Cleaver got herself arrested for being drunk behind the wheel of her Range Rover! Let’s take a look at a short video clip about her misfortunes.

Cleaver isn’t the only celeb battling booze. In fact substance use seems to go with the celeb lifestyle. When it comes to addictions no one knows more than America’s troubled child stars. Among child stars the surviving members of Different Strokes top the list. Dana Plato died when she OD’d on Valium after a trip to the dentist. Apparently the powerful tranquilizer reacted with the anesthetic, and the booze she washed it down with. The young actress was found dead in her RV later that same day. Gary Coleman’s troubles have been the most documented. However Todd Bridges has had his share of trouble too. He’s been arrested on drug and gun charges. He even later admitted that he contemplated ‘suicide by cop’ during the arrest. Now here’s Todd to talk about his troubles and his co stars in Killing Willis.

Todd gives us much food for thought. For one thing success can be considered exceeding your life expectancy – especially when you’re one of America’s child actors!

different strokes and killing willis

Now by popular demand here once again is Gary the Spaceman Bell and a classic View From Space. This one comes back from 2004 and is called The Illuminati Banker Bastard Babies!
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I heard it through the grape vine

Despite what you may be hearing…

Usually Internet celebrity gossip blogs spread rumors. Today I’d like to clear some up. No 1 on list would be Livin La Vida Loca singer Ricky Martin. Stories have been swirling around about him being straight, mostly from love sick female fans, for years. This despite the photographs of him vacationing with handsome young men. Well I can put the rumors to rest: Ricky’s a homo. Martin announced it himself on his website.

Next up is Kate Gosselin. Ever since her husband Jon went rogue and hooked up with a series of skeevy young women, people began giving Kate the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she wasn’t as much of a bitch as she seemed on her TV show. Well it looks like Kate is every bit as much a bitch as she seemed. Now even her Dancing With The Stars partner wants to quit on her.

Next up on the rumor mill would be Gerrard Butler and Jennifer Aniston. There’s a lot of talk about them hooking up. There have even been some pix of Butler with his hand on Aniston’s ass. Well according to Butler that’s just talk. In his own words “How many times can I say that there’s nothing to it?”

Finally we come to the woman who’s the center of more rumors right now than anyone else – Sandra Bullock. Since the news broke that her philandering husband TV grease monkey Jesse James was seeing neo nazi strippers and tattooed porn actresses, Sandra’s made the cover of every major entertainment magazine in America. Normal a celeb would kill for that kind of hype. In this case the coverage features her extreme public humiliation. That’s the trouble with those Faustian deals – you get exactly what you asked for. In retrospect (knowing what we know now) this may as well have been her Oscar acceptance:

Had that happened to poor Sandra, instead of the stories of Jesse’s infidelity leaking out it would’ve been more to the point, and offered some genuine slapstick. Also if Perry had done her hair in a beehive she could’ve gone as Marge Simpson!

Well the latest rumor about poor betrayed Sandra is that she’s planning on adopting James’ kids, so that she can go on being a mother to them. Sandra’s reps are now denying that. They also have no word on Sandra’s where abouts. It’s as if she disappeared in to the Bermuda Triangle or something. Hope she remembered to pack her Oscar.


Fergie Falls, Again

Fergie’s been pretty open about her past substance abuse issues. Those issues seem to extend into the present. A couple of years ago a South American concert had to be canceled because Fergs was too drunk to perform. She did show up, and insisted on singing, but the band was so embarrassed that they walked off of the stage. That left an inebriated (fancy word for bombed out of her mind) Fergie swaying back and forth on the stage as she told the audience how much she loved them.

Well it seems like Fergus may be due for a stint in Celebrity Rehab because she’s had more trouble with her balance and coordination. During a recent Black Eyed Peas concert the Fergalicious One went down on all fours during a number. It wasn’t part of the choreography either! Lets have a look at the video, which was quick to make it onto You tube.

Now here’s some video from that embarrassing El Salvador concert.

so damn drunk

“I don’t think so – Fergie don’t play that!” The cover story for that was food poisoning. Fergie seems to have a lot of trouble with that because some other food poisoning attacks have made it to youtube: like a disoriented Fergie losing track of the ground while attending The Bachelor/Bachelorette Party.

Well it was New Years, and her husband cheats – so I guess she has some good excuses. Now here she is drunk @ the Superbowl.

Even the late great Dean Martin would be appalled. Fergie seems to have gone beyond the Lindsay Lohan level of public intoxication and is well into Mischa Barton territory! That young woman could wind up as a judge on American Idol (like Paula Abdul) if she doesn’t clean up her act! It’s not like she would be difficult to replace. Lisa from Big Brother 9 looks like she could step up. She’s got the Fergie routine down pat.

black eyed peas Stacey fergie Ferguson is drunk on the job again


The View From Space March 27th 2010

Spaced out Sunday

What would tabloid journalism be without the odd conspiracy theory? Gary the Spaceman Bell’s The View From Space on 640 AM is as odd as it gets. This is the guy who claimed that the deaths of Heath Ledger and Natasha Richardson were Illuminati blood sacrifices! Most people would say that’s not funny. The Spaceman would probably reply that he’s not joking. You can tell how he got kicked off of the air about 4 times.

So just hit the play button on the nifty widget below, then sit back and listen in astonishment as the Spaceman gives you the low down. You won’t believe what he has to say about Earth Hour. This is radio you need to keep the lights on for!
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The Spaceman can be heard on Toronto’s 640 Am Saturday evenings after the hockey game, and at 8 PM after hockey season!

The View From Space March 27th 2010 with gary the spaceman bell


Bud Bundy’s Back

Married With Children’s David Faustino has taken time out from his campaign to legalize marijuana and is featured in a new projected. Just take a look!

From Crackle: Straight Outta Compton

You really should support Dave in his new project. He’s so far resisted the temptation to get into Scientology. However you can never be sure how long an unemployed actor can hold out.

bundy bondage


Big Love, big mouth, & big trouble

Chloe Sevigny opens her yap to air Big Love grievances then thinks twice

Katherine Heigl made an ass of herself back during the writers strike when she refused a Emmy nomination because she felt the quality of Grey’s Anatomy scripts didn’t merit it. Heigl was nominated for acting not writing, but she knew that. She was just trying to make a point, come off looking good, and get some attention – all of which backfired. She was already disliked on Grey’s and that only made the situation worse. Eventually Heigl got the can, after more public complaining about producers “meanness”. She wanted some slack cut in her TV schedule so she could devote more time to movies. GA finally cut her lose and now she has as much time to devote to her movie career as necessary – however much that may be.

Now Big Love star Chloe Sevigny has taken a leaf from Heigl’s book and opened her big yap in public. Sevigny plays the wife on the hit show about Mormons & polygamy. Sevigny recently went on the record and said:

It was awful this season, as far as I’m concerned. I’m not allowed to say that! …I feel like it kind of got away from itself…I mean, I love the show, I love my character, I love the writing, but I felt like they were really pushing it this last season. And with nine episodes, I think they were just squishing too much in… But I hope the fans will stick with us and tune in next year. There’s a lot of people who really love this season, surprisingly. God, I’m going to get in so much trouble.”

Though she fell short in discretion she scored in fore sight. Chloe has indeed gotten herself in big trouble! That has lead Chloe to do some furious back peddling. Chloe’s reps are now saying that she didn’t mean what she said, and that the media blew it out of proportion. First she knocks the show and now the media – she never gets tired of pointing the finger. She might try making some friends, if only for a change.

Chloe can explain, sort of. The actress told Entertainment Weekly that “I feel pretty terrible. I feel like what I said was taken out of context.” Since those statements are pretty self explanatory I’m not sure what the missing context could be other than “Just kidding”, or “That’s an example of what I might say of I were an ungrateful bitch”. She may as well have said “I’ve taken up yoga and I was just practicing the foot in mouth pose”. She might even try saying she’s sorry. It worked for David Letterman. She also might want o watch her step from now on. The thing about Big Life is that there are always more Mormon wives waiting in the wings. That’s polygamy for you. What was she thinking? Does she even have a film career to fall back on?

Now here is Wondertrash’s own version of Keyboard Cat – Nova Scotia’s own Gordie Sampson to sing Sorry. It’s nice to trot this one out every time some celeb sticks there foot in it.

chloe sevigny opens her yap to air Big Love grievances then thinks twice

In this time of economic recovery Sevigny might want to watch her mouth, or she could wind up in the same sorry plight as America’s first legal male gigolo – looking for work!

Sounds like that fellow is having some trouble making ends meet.

Does Shaq really listen to Owl City?

Guess who’s in the following Owl City video! Well that’s not much of a challenge since the post title kind of gave it away.

Does Shaq really listen to Owl City