I heard it through the grape vine

Despite what you may be hearing…

Usually Internet celebrity gossip blogs spread rumors. Today I’d like to clear some up. No 1 on list would be Livin La Vida Loca singer Ricky Martin. Stories have been swirling around about him being straight, mostly from love sick female fans, for years. This despite the photographs of him vacationing with handsome young men. Well I can put the rumors to rest: Ricky’s a homo. Martin announced it himself on his website.

Next up is Kate Gosselin. Ever since her husband Jon went rogue and hooked up with a series of skeevy young women, people began giving Kate the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she wasn’t as much of a bitch as she seemed on her TV show. Well it looks like Kate is every bit as much a bitch as she seemed. Now even her Dancing With The Stars partner wants to quit on her.

Next up on the rumor mill would be Gerrard Butler and Jennifer Aniston. There’s a lot of talk about them hooking up. There have even been some pix of Butler with his hand on Aniston’s ass. Well according to Butler that’s just talk. In his own words “How many times can I say that there’s nothing to it?”

Finally we come to the woman who’s the center of more rumors right now than anyone else – Sandra Bullock. Since the news broke that her philandering husband TV grease monkey Jesse James was seeing neo nazi strippers and tattooed porn actresses, Sandra’s made the cover of every major entertainment magazine in America. Normal a celeb would kill for that kind of hype. In this case the coverage features her extreme public humiliation. That’s the trouble with those Faustian deals – you get exactly what you asked for. In retrospect (knowing what we know now) this may as well have been her Oscar acceptance:

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

Had that happened to poor Sandra, instead of the stories of Jesse’s infidelity leaking out it would’ve been more to the point, and offered some genuine slapstick. Also if Perry had done her hair in a beehive she could’ve gone as Marge Simpson!

Well the latest rumor about poor betrayed Sandra is that she’s planning on adopting James’ kids, so that she can go on being a mother to them. Sandra’s reps are now denying that. They also have no word on Sandra’s where abouts. It’s as if she disappeared in to the Bermuda Triangle or something. Hope she remembered to pack her Oscar.

wondertrash

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