Jesse James is cruel & unusual

If Jesse James is this bad then Sandra Bullock is really stupid

When the shit hits the fan it really hits. The latest Jesse James allegations have him pulling a Michael Vick. Sources are accusing James, though not yet formally, of animal abuse:

Jesse James may have entered rehab to stave off a divorce from Sandra Bullock but that’s the least of his problems as a horrible new scandal has emerged. He’s accused of outrageous cruelty involving his pet dogs!
Two of Jesse’s favorite pit bulls fought in a bloody battle to the death – and Jesse’s terrified dog Rudy was ripped apart in the savage attack that tore a leg almost completely from his body.

Shockingly, the tattooed TV mechanic treats the vicious encounter as a big joke, charge sources.

“Sandra was horrified and in tears when she first heard what had happened to those animals,” said an insider.
“She believed he was this gentle biker with a heart of gold. But if he can let this sort of thing happen to his dogs, that tells you who he really is – Jesse IS heartless.”

“A gentle biker with a heart of gold”! So was Sandra dropped on her head or something? There’s also some nasty talk about foursomes and unprotected sex:

In an exclusive interview with Life & Style, tattoo artist and owner of Ocean Beach Tattoo and Piercing in San Diego, Eric McDougall, and receptionist, Skittles Valentine, confess to having a freaky foursome with Jesse James and Michelle “Bombshell” McGee last June – and Skittles had intercourse with Jesse without a condom.
The racy encounter took place one drunken night after the Ink-N-Iron tattoo festival last June while Sandra Bullock was busy promoting The Proposal. “Michelle came into my shop and was like, ‘I’d like to introduce you to my boyfriend,’” Eric tells Life & Style. “I recognized Jesse right away.”

After Eric filled in Jesse’s octopus tattoo with a little color free of charge, Jesse and Bombshell went to a liquor store downstairs and returned with booze to lighten the mood. Michelle made the first move, kissing Skittles, and then they all found their way to the tattoo parlor’s private back room. “Jesse and Michelle both wanted Skittles,” says Eric, noting there was never a mention of Sandra.

“Eric and I were having sex, so we switched off, and Jesse and I had sex,” Skittles tells Life & Style exclusively. “I had an awesome time. I think Jesse is so cute.” The foursome ended only when Bombshell got jealous of Skittles spending too much time with Jesse — and the two ended up in a hair-pulling, knock-down fight! (Requests for comments from Jesse and Michelle were not returned.) While Eric can’t recall if he used protection during the more intimate part of the night, Jesse didn’t use any protection. “Maybe I used a latex glove,” says Eric. “I don’t know. Sometimes as a last-case scenario I tie a latex glove finger off.”

James James might have incurred more image damage than rehab can cure! If even half of this is true then Sandra better have the name of a good doctor! Meanwhile the rest of us are waiting for the inevitable Jesse James mugshot (Or pix of Bullock’s swastikaed twat!). As for Miss Congeniality, who knows how much of this shit is gonna start sticking to her too – as if she didn’t know. Does she really think we’re stupid enough to believe that she’s stupid enough not to have been aware of this?

On the bright side she has lost 14 pounds. With a fab new make over this will be water under the bridge! Next stop Dancing With the Stars.


Jesse James Checks into Rehab

Things keep going from bad to worse for Jesse James. A 4rth woman has come forward claiming to have carnal knowledge of the Vanilla Gorilla. So his slut count is steadily rising. Sandra Bullock calls him once a day to chat with the kids but has made it clear that she is not interested in his pleas. So that leaves him seeking redemption celebrity style – through a trip to sex rehab.

At least he picked a good time. Jesse is rehabbing at he same time as some ‘Nazi pix’ are hotting the web. The photos show JJ dolled up like Col. Klink & wearing a WW2 German officer’s cap and giving a Hiel Hilter salute. His company logo also features some Nazi type imagery. That leaves people asking the obvious question “How could Sandra not know that she was married to a neo Nazi? She is half German herself. Something tells me this story is just warming up and that Jesse might not be the only one doing some explaining.


Kardashian dumped over sex tape

Short cut to fame costs sex taper in other areas – like being a wife

Kim Kardhasian shot to fame after a sex tape made with her former boyfriend Ray J hit the Internet. It made her a Paris Hilton type celebrity phenomenon. Ray J admits that he taped the video, but denies that he released it. According to him Kardashian took it with her, then claimed to have lost it whole moving. Since she’s the one who benefited from it’s release that’s entirely plausible.

By benefited I refer to the dubious celebrity that Kardashian has since enjoyed. She even went on to date Reggie Bush and was at the Superbowl sidelines when the Saints won. There was even some serious talk of marriage, mostly from Kim. Amazing what doors a sex tape can open these days.

Don’t let the door hit your fat ass on the way out

The sex tape has opened one more door for Kardashian. This one is marked exit. Seems that though Reggie enjoyed screwing a sex tape girl, he wasn’t so keen on introducing her as Mrs. Bush. To be more specific Reggie’s mom caught wind of the tape, and of Kim’s intentions, and put her foot down. That kind of notoriety is an edge that cuts both ways. Great if you want to go viral, and handicap if you intend to go legit one day – as Paris Hilton could tell you. So what will Kim’s next move be – calling Bush out publicly as a momma’s boy? I suppose that it couldn’t hurt.

Kardashian will probably land on her feet after this recent dumping. She might as well land somewhere else considering how well padded she is.

caution: X-tra wide load

Speaking of notoriety here’s Gary the Spaceman Bell with a topic everyone over 18 is against – Christmas. Spaceman will reveal the true birthday of Christ and tell you why Amanita muscaria is as important to Christmas as mistletoe. The good news is that Christmas is about 9 months away. The bad news is that it’s even worse than you imagined!

Reindeer can fly cause Santa gets high – on magic mushrooms!
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