Kristen Stewart’s Bustin Out All Over

New Tart Strikes, Again – Twilight actress takes Joan Jett routine way too seriously!

It looks like there’s been another occurrence of Kristen Stewart. No rude index fingers were involved. This time Bella Swans boobs nearly came flopping out in to view as she foolishly bent forward with in camera range of her nemesis, the ever present paparazzi!

pic courtesy of egotastic


starkers, new tit – aiming for Joan Jett but turning out Vickie Pollard!

When I posted yesterday that Kristy was becoming an handful I had no idea she would fufill my prediction so quickly or so literally! Keep your eyes on this one gossipistas, cause we got a live one on our hands, & Summer is only starting!

Biggest Losers & the Skinny on Image

weighty affairs


Drew Carey
has dropped some weight lately. Maybe he’s worried sick: either about The Price Is Right or the state of Cleveland Ohio’s down town area. Let’s have a look at the following video in which a gaunt, but familiar, character makes an appearance at the Cleveland City council:

[redlasso id=’7f984fc0-622b-4591-8acc-942d07b7eeee’]

50 pounds for 50 Cent

Drew ain’t he only one dropping the pounds. The once husky 50 Cent has lost about 50 pounds. 50 bagged a movie role where he had to play a cancer patient. Only problem being that 50 looked way too healthy to play that. Where there’s a will there’s a way – so 50 went on a liquid diet (amino acids, not vodka like Jessica Simpson) and ran the tread mill 3 hours a day until he reached his new skeletal appearance. Just hope that there’s now long term damage (crash dieting can cause heart problems).

[redlasso id=’bc980e33-eff8-48d8-8718-3c627fefe307′]

“Don’t be concerned”. I’m concerned that they would tell us not to be concerned!

I’m even more concerned that some impressionable types may try to imitated the drastic, dramatic weight loss of the celebs. Especially with swim suit season fast upon us. So if you’re trying to wedge yourself into something you’ve got no business getting into in the first place then before you go all Al Roker on us just remember that it’s nice to look nice, but it’s good to stay healthy!

mighty mouth

BTW as a further reminder not to fuck witht he features God gave you, here are some pictures of Peaches Honeyblossom Cummysuckle Geldorf and her amazing new overbite!

Peaches Gledorf overbite

Sorry about the harsh lighting but the veneers she’s got on those things are so blindingly white that they screw up the digicams!

brand new Sam

Some celebs go well beyond the bounds of crash diets, grotesque dental work, and collagen lips in their quest for image & identity make over. Speaking of which you might be glad to hear the Samantha Ronson’s gender reassignment procedure is coming along swimmingly! Just have a peep:

sex change sam

Sam’s like a new man! If it wasn’t for those familiar firm fierce features I’d never have recognized her. Second thought gender reassignment seems to be softening her looks somewhat.

pretty rude

Of course there are those celebs who don’t need drastic weight loss or bad plastic surgery to alarm us – like Kristin Bella Swan Stewart. KS has been pretty vocal about her hatred 0f paparazzi in particular and fame in general. That doesn’t stop her from making an appearance on her balcony to grab a little attention.

Kristen Bella swan Stewart one fingered salute
Kristen Bella swan Stewart one fingered salute

That young woman is becoming a handful! Not only that but by the look in her eyes she’s either on meth, or possessed.


Wondertrash thought of the day:

The whole point of Camp is to dethrone the serious. Camp is playful, anti-serious. More precisely, Camp involves a new, more complex relation to “the serious.” One can be serious about the frivolous, frivolous about the serious.

Camp proposes a comic vision of the world. But not a bitter or polemical comedy. If tragedy is an experience of hyperinvolvement, comedy is an experience of underinvolvement, of detachment.

~ Susan SontagNotes On “Camp”

Speaking of which here’s a blast from the past

http://www.veoh.com/static/swf/webplayer/WebPlayer.swf?version=AFrontend.5.5.1.1006&permalinkId=v1633588Hcsdmzas&player=videodetailsembedded&videoAutoPlay=0&id=13632138
Watch Hype Pressure – The Goodies in Comedy | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

That talent show panel could have used Paula Abdul!

Now here’s something just as cheesy but without the tongue in cheek!

http://www.veoh.com/static/swf/webplayer/WebPlayer.swf?version=AFrontend.5.5.1.1006&permalinkId=v13871508dmjhfWY&player=videodetailsembedded&videoAutoPlay=0&id=13632138
Watch SPace 1999 – Earthbound.divx in Entertainment | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

wondertrash

Tom Cruise Losing It, Again?

cracking up

When Tom Cruise jumped off Oprah’s couch he started free falling into the abyss. His career followed his public image down the chute. So it’s been a while since Tom’s had a hit. He did do that Valkyrie film, but it wasn’t the blockbuster that he’s accustomed to headlining. He was also supposed to star in SALT, but exces balked after he went publicly haywire on afternoon TV. So the put Angelina Jolie in the role. Considering the rumors coming out of SALT (Jolie’s losing weight, she looks rough, she’s passing out, she’s on crying jags, she’s becoming unreliable, etc.), they might’ve been better off sticking with Tom.

hard boiled but half baked

Well Tom is ready to grab at the brass ring once more with a new cinematic venture called Knight & Day. Since he’s been radioactive for the past 5 years he really needs this flick to score if he has any plans to continue making movies. So the pressure is on. If the rumors coming out about him are any indication the pressure is getting to him.

Cruise Jolie Salt

manic maniac film fail

For instance Tom has developed the bizarre habit of referring to himself in the 3rd person while on set. When he insisted on having the music score changed he explained, and I quote, that ‘Tom Cruise is an action star — he’d never have salsa music in a film!‘” Now referring to yourself in the 3rd person is kinda weird, unless you’re the Queen of England. Still he has a point about the salsa music!

manic panic & cryptic optimism

With Tom approaching 5150 territory everyone is stating to get panicky. The crew claim that they have never seen Cruise this close to the edge before. Maybe that’s optimism. Since Cruise flew over the edge that day on Oprah, if he’s close to the edge now it must be because he’s finding his way back.

cuckoo waltz

His wife Katie doesn’t take it that way. The thought that her husband is going nuts is taking a tole on her. In fact their are reports coming from the set that Kate is close to joining her husband by cracking up too! ‘Tom’s so stressed out that I don’t know him anymore. I just don’t know how much more I can take!‘ she is reported to have said. Joining him on a trip to the cracker factory would be marital devotion above and beyond the call of duty. Too think that there were those who doubted their relationship!

Black Eyed Peas (featuring Tom Cruise)-I Gotta Feeling @ the o2-27th May 2010

animated gif courtesy of OhNoTheyDidn’t

wondertrash

2010 Indianapolis 500

2010 Indianapolis 500

20.4.10

http://sportwebtv.blogspot.com/

http://www.livestream.com/guide/livesports?count=

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/indy-500-24-7

http://www.justin.tv/

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Danielle Staub and the naked truth

too naked to make it

Real Housewives of NJ is a popular show and among the cast members Danielle Staub is the most interesting. She’s had a past as a drug mule and was even in on the kidnapping of a man who couldn’t pay his drug debt. The guy owed Staub’s boyfriend some serious money. That lead to him taking an unscheduled trip. The ‘victim reported to police that Staub was right in the room while he was being held hostage. He also says that she was probably too stoned to really be aware of what was goung down.

She’s got her bare facts straight but has she missed the point?

Well now Staub is coming clean on her colourful life. Danni dishes on the Real Housewives, her past as a stripper, plus what it’s like raising children when you’re being featured in a reality TV show. But don’t take my world for it – here’s Ms Staub herself giving the low down on her hi life.

http://d.yimg.com/m/up/ypp/omg/player.swf
wondertrash

"children of superheroes rise up to average among their peers"


celebrities are super wonder people

Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.
Robert Heinlein

We’re always more concerned with some one else’s manners than with our own.
~Boguszen

Gary Coleman’s death comes as the most recent wave in a long series of hi profile celeb kid fuck ups. Now the famous young and the young of the famous seem to start out with one foot over the finish line: important parents, wealth, connections etc. Yet they’re usually in shit before 18. If a celeb kid grows up to be a average sensible person then other people are impressed. “So you’re not in prison or rehab – wow!'” So what’s going wrong? If celeb kids start out with one foot over the finish line then it’s as if the other foot is caught on something. There’s the rub.

rich kids & star babies

It points out something that we don’t like to face about success. We like to believe all that glitters is gold. So when celeb kids go haywire we blame them for fucking up. It couldn’t be a problem with success – as we define success, which is pretty narrowly. Yet the incidence of rich kid & star baby messes is too frequented for there not to be some kind of relationship.

thought experiment theater

Maybe this can be made more acceptable if put in the form of a ‘thought experiment’. How many of you wanted your dad to be Superman, when you were young? It’s seems like a great deal. No one will ever pick on you cause no one can whip your pappy. Plus you get to participate in the adventure and heroism. You’re Jimmy Olson – Superman’s pal!

Strangers without candy

Yet imagine, for the sake of our thought experiment that Superman had a child by Wonder Woman. Would that not be the most fucked up person on the planet or what? You can almost imagine them as an unemployed 30 something slacker bitching and whining in their support group. It might even sound something like this:

the adventures of XRay!

I grew up with everyone telling me how lucky I was to have my parents. It was like I couldn’t get it through to them that maybe they were better off. I mean you just try sneaking a girl into the house when your 14 and your dad has X-Ray vision. “Mamma come here! I saw the boy sneaking a girl into his room, but he’s hidden her some where and now he’s denying it!” “Don’t worry Pappa. This is a job for the lasso of truth!” The next summer I was in regular therapy. Not that I blame being tied up by my mom in front of my girlfriend is what triggered that! That tends to happen when you Mom’s an Amazon.

Or just try getting away with anything behind their back. For instance when our class had the big party I wanted to go. Mom and Dad forbade it. I tried explaining that all the other kids were going. That’s when Dad replied, “Oh yeah – all the other kids? Well what if I use my super speed to create a low pressure vortex directly above the town? The resulting rain storms will make sure that “all the other kids” aren’t going!”

The first thing I heard in class next day was “Way to get your father to screw up our party Fail Out Boy!” After that I wound up eating lunch every day alone in the washroom locked in a toilet stall. Of course I was never what you’d call popular before that.

“Diana please stop making a scene or this is the last time we visit your mother!”

celebrities are super wonder people

Superman Family Values

I guess the only question left for the therapist to ask is whether Super Wonder Boy ever got laid? That’s the same question that people are asking now about Gary Coleman. So whatever we may or may not think about the advantages that money and trouble can bring, I might just say that “Crystal Bowersox dodged an enormous bullet last night & in spite of herself!”

Wondertrash goes boguszen:

Money can’t buy happiness, but allows a choice of misery

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
–Albert Einstein

Some people think they are worth a lot of money just because they have it.
–Fannie Hurst, writer (1889-1968)

Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
–Erma Bombeck, humorist (1927-1996)

She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not care to be herself.
–Anais Nin

I’d rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I don’t.
–George Burns

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
–Winston Churchill

A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
–Miguel de Cervantes

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.
-Marcus Tullius Cicero, statesman, orator, and writer (1066-43 BCE)

The mind covers more ground than the heart but goes less far.
–Chinese Proverb

What are you so shocked about? Can’t you listen to chords without knowing their status and destination? Where do they come from? Whither are they going? What does it matter? Listen: that’s enough.
–Claude Debussy, French composer

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
–Albert Einstein

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex and more violent. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.
–Albert Einstein

Einstein’s three rules of work:
1. Out of clutter, find simplicity.
2. From discord, find harmony.
3. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
–Voltaire

wondertrash

Gary Coleman RIP

This is a story of all about how his life got flipped and turned upside down

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

The troubled life of former child star Gary Coleman has ended. Gary suffered an inter cranial hemorrhage after falling down a flight of stairs at his Utah Home. He was taken to the hospital for observation, where he remained conscious for about a day. He then lapsed into a coma from which he did not awaken.

Gary leaves to ‘mourn’ his ‘wife’ Shannon Price. The two were married for several years though the relationship was rumored to be unconsummated. Shannon was also suspected of physically abusing Gary, & that has some people speculating about just how ‘accidental’ his fall might have been. At least this is one Hollywood marriage that didn’t end in divorce. Gary wasn’t that lucky.

His fate might have been sealed from the moment he said “I do”.

wondertrash

Jesse James: Still a creep

Litany of evil – is Jesse James Hitler’s Cheeseburger?

Jesse James is a person of interestJesse James has been getting slagged in the media ever since he made a fool out of America’s Sweetheart shortly after the Oscars. That was when his years of cheating with tattooed nazi porno chicks was exposed. Well it seems that character flaw didn’t exist in isolation. He was into plenty of other bad stuff too. According to his step mom Janina James Coan, Jess like to use the N word frequently. She even goes so far as to say that he is probably a racist.

Jesse James saved Hitler’s brain, then transplanted it into Mahatma Gandhi!

Worse still JJC claims that Jesse had some odd interests as a teen, and well beyond the usual heavy metal music. For instance he used to enjoy torturing small helpless animals. In one incident he injected live rats with raw alcohol: either to kill them or merely to get them drunk. It’s hard to know exactly what’s going on in the head of a teen aged boy. The rats did wind up just as dead though. BTW Janina compares Jesse’s boyish cruelty to the medical experiments of Dr Josef Mengele! Glad that she’s avoiding overstatement & exaggeration during her media attack.

Jesse James Bad Brains

Jesse James implicated in 911 WTC attack!

Now a lot of this Jesse bashing seems to be going way over the top. James is being portrayed as the world’s most evil man: some one who uses stuffed Smurf dolls for target practice, deliberately treads on pretty flowers, voted for George W Bush (probably), and tells new mothers that their babies are ugly. The stories are getting so wild that it’s beginning to look like Team Sandra’s PR Machine is not only in full spin mode, but turned all the way up to puree. This leaves us asking ourselves how much of this bullshit is actually true, or when Jess is gonna be exposed as a serial murderer?

Whenever Jesse James took Sandra Bullock out for dinner he always ordered baby seal!

It could also leave us asking why this stuff is suddenly coming out now when we didn’t hear a peep about it before, & how Sandra didn’t know? More to the point how she went on not knowing for about 5 years. Sling enough shit and some is bound to stick to you, too.

Conjectures of a guilty bystander: Innocent victim or merely ignorant?

One thing’s for sure – now that Jess is the Most Evil man in America it’s safe for OJ Simpson to show his face in public again. That is when he’s released from prison. This should take the pressure off of the more controversial members of the Bush Administration too.

wondertrash

Montag sets sites on Fox’s part

Why be extraordinary when you can go for transmundane?


Heidi Montag
has finally found something to take her mind off of body image issues and plastic surgery – she’s set her mind on replacing Megan Fox in Transformers 3. When rumours started swirling around that Megan’s big mouth had got her canned off the movie Heidi’s wheels started turning. If an actress can lose a role for mouthing off, then maybe it’s possible to get that part by sucking up. So Heidi began tweeting with a vengeance. She posted some Bay directed stuff basically calling him brilliant and an artist of incomparable ability – come on Heid’s, he’s no Roman Polanski. She laid it on pretty thick, to the point where she may have even asked him if the mural on the Sistine Chapel was his idea.

from Transformers to attack of the killer tomatoes

So now we know Heidi’s really smooth. In case that was still in any doubt Ms. Montag is even making her own audition tape for Bay, and posting them on youtube!

crazy like a really dumb fox

Now some people would say that posting this to youtube has nothing to do with getting the T3 gig, and everything to do with getting attention. It’s easy to be cynical. I prefer to give Ms Montag the benefit of the doubt (I’m naive that way). Michael Bay surely has a whole system in place to make sure that the Heidi’s of the world never get through the front door, or even find out where the front door is. Posting her video on youtube gets her past the gate keepers – it make Bay come to her, virtually.

the reality of movie horror

Speculation aside there’s one thing that everyone shoulder be able to agree on and that is that this is getting embarrassing. Ever since Fox’s announced departure Montag has been making PR with a vengeance out of it. So maybe Bay could see his way to reinstating Fox back into the movie. A deFoxed T3 is only encouraging the reality TV crowd. Bay might have an idea for a potential future film here though. With all the ambitious desperate actresses coming out of the wood work, the competition for Fox’s part is getting more genuinely frightening than the whole killer robot trip!

Heidi has the ability to turn a fiasco into a farce simply by making a spectacle of herself! So better she should get the part than say Sarah Palin (who can also turn a fiasco into a farce by making a spectacle of herself). Sarah no doubt would’ve loved to do T3 too, but casting her has Shia’s older woman MILF love interest would be just plain creepy.

BTW if you’re interested in putting a stop to this kind of tom foolery then join the Boycott Transformers 3 Without Megan Fox page on Facebook. If you’re enjoying the spectacle then carry on!

Speaking of action movie audition reels, here are a few young ladies who might want to make their submissions to Bay & co.

wondertrash

Wondertrash has a brush with Britney?

Britney Spears & bogus zen

A few days ago a friend of mind posted a Britney Spears liveleak video to his youtube account, so that I might use it on my blog. It was the What Britney Spears Really Sounds Like On Stage.flv video. Well my friend informs me that sometime last night he received a terse response on the comments section of the video – simply “liar”. It was posted @ about 1 AM and is listed as from

QueenPopBritneyTv. That’s Britney’s official youtube presence.