Life After Celebrity

Megan Fox gets BAGged

Some one once said that fame can be fleeting. So what do you do if you’ve devoted your like to getting famous and things start to fizzle out? That’s the very question super hottie Megan Fox might be asking herself these days. Ever since she messed up her face with plastic surgery and got on Michael Bay’s bad side things haven’t been going well for her. Jennifer’s Body flopped at the box office despite being a Diablo Cody project, and despite a gratuitous Megan Fox bondage/human sacrifice scene. The bondage thing should’ve been a sure fire draw for nerds and fetishists, but the project faltered immediately upon release. Worse still Megan’s Jonah Hex flick also failed upon opening, despite being a comic based film and featuring more Megan Fox bondage scenes.

from sizzle to fizzle

Fortunately for Megan she’s got a fall back position. That option involves Megan breaking her word. Back at the height of her career she made many public statements about not marrying for at least ten years. That must’ve been something of a let down for her long term sex partner Brian Austin Green; whom Megan affectionately refers to as BAG. She even called off her engagement to BAG a number of times. Perhaps, like Jessica Simpson with Nick Lachey, she thought that she had out grown him.

why not get married, if you don’t have anything better to do

Her recent spate of career failures must’ve caused Megan to reassess her priorities. Megan’s people have just announced that the actress has married BAG just last week in a top secret ceremony in Hawaii. So she’s now officially Megan Green. It’s probably pointless to ask whether she’ll continue to work under the name of Megan Fox, since it’s in doubt whether she’ll continue to work. Anyway here’s a short video clip on Megger’s recent nuptials!

hello Dolly

It just goes to show that you can’t believe anything a young woman says and especially if she’s an actress! Of course celebs don’t always resort to the consolation of relationships and family lives once they’ve ceased to be relevant. If your Dolly Parton you go from having a career to talking about your career. As an eminence gris of the entertainment world, Dolly has taken to sharing her personal history with the enthusiasm of a retired politician talking about their time spent shaping world events. Here’s Dolly talking about how it feels to be an entertainment institution, if not a bona fide pop culture icon!

It’s good to hear that Dolly’s keeping busy. When she’s not cooking, reading, cooking & reading, and rebuilding Nashville with an ad hoc army of country western singer stars, she’s penning her autobiography! The woman’s a dynamo!


One person who has no post career palns is P Puffy Dirty Diddy Money – or what ever Sean Combs is calling himself this week. Diddy made a appearance at the recent BET Awards.

So now you know that Puffster isn’t planning on going anywhere anytime soon. In fact he’s determined to stay 100% relevant. Still he might want to thing about his own theme park, and maybe some kind of philanthropic project. It never hurts to have a plan B, just as long as he doesn’t go down the celebrity impulse adoption route!


Hollywood morlocks

Tila Tequila has been doing some excellent work lately on the connection between Hollywood and the Illuminati. She’s been getting her share of shit over this. Yet there is an undeniable link between the entertainment industry and the occult. Tipper Gore, now once again back in the public eye by way of what is shaping up to be a messy, embarrassing divorce from Captain Planet Al Gore, pointed this out back in the 1980’s.

Back then she hauled several second tier rock performers – like Twisted Sister’s Dee Snyder – up before congressional committees to ask them just what the hell they thought they were doing. The standard response was that music and movies don’t affect anyone. That must be why advertising agencies spend billions annually on splashy promotional campaigns, celebrity endorsements, and movie product placements. Anyway the whole thing sort of blew over. Tipper went back to giving her rival Washington power wife Lynda Wonder Woman Carter a hard time over her hubby Robert Altman’s – not the MASH producer but Clark Clifford’s law partner – involvement in the BCCI scandal. Dee went back to releasing albums with pentagrams on the cover.

Still careful observers can’t help but notice the frequent references to the occult in popular movies and TV series. In fact back in the 1990’s Shaun Cassidy produced a little offering called American Gothic. It starred Gary Cole, whose previous TV work consisted of Night Hawk – the show about the talk radio host who solves crime in his spare time. That show was way ahead of it’s time. it also starred Lucas Black as his reluctant protege. Now Fast & Furious fans will remember Black as The Drift King from F&F 3, or F&F4 -I always get those two mixed up! Gary Cole went on to bigger things too. He became the voice of Kim Possible’s father in the popular Disney cartoon – I hear that Disney is currently planning a Kim Possible live action movie featuring Miley Cyrus! That is surely an idea who’s time has come.

American Gothic was almost 100% occult . The show – a sort of supernatural soap opera – revolved around the lives of the inhabitants of North Carolina town Trinty. It especially revolved around the character of Sheriff Lucas Buck – as portrayed by Cole. Buck can best be described as a sort of demon or morlock. He trades on his mysterious ability to manipulate situations and events in order to keep the townsfolk in his thrall.

Sheriff Buck’s mysterious powers are only explained in one episode, called The Buck Stops Here. The explanation is 100 proof Freemason New Age Illuminati. In one scene Buck whips out a one dollar green back American dollar bill, stating that anything writen on money has got to be important. He then points out the masonic temple and all seeing eye featured one the money. He then goes on to explain the meaning of the mysterious Latin motto inscribed on the currency – “Novo Ordo Seclorum” – “An New Order“, or “An Old Order of the Ages Born Anew“. Later, Buck’s partner in crime, hot to trot elementary school teacher Selena explains that the source of Buck’s sorcery is his ‘third eye‘, or the pineal gland. If you don’t believe me then just take a look at the following short video clip from the series and see for yourself:

So there you have it as seen with your own eyes and heard by your own ears. That was back before Hollywood really got warmed up on the New Age occult kick. So is Tila Tequila full of crap? No more than any other conspiracy theorist. IN fact she might be on to something – perhaps inspite of herself. So before you jump to any conclusions why not keep your eyes, ears, and especially your minds open. Careful observation of popular media might lead you to think that there’s more to Tequila’s postings than you might have at first thought!

Of course there is a cure to all this Hollywood bullshit. Many of us are opting for it too. Just be sure that you know exactly what stuff you’re taking or you could wind up like the poor man in this short video!

You’ll never know how many celebrity haldon overdoses have wound up getting blamed as facelifts – Mickey Rourke was a particularly tragic case. So don’t let this happen to you!

Is Mel Gibson a drunken woman beater?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Oksana Grigorieva claims that former lover mel gibson beat her up in a drunken rage, breaking her teeth and giving her a concussion Mel Gibson went his separate way from tart de jour Oksana Grigorieva people asked “What took him so long?” People also wondered whether there might not be more to it. Celebs aren’t known for coming to their sense, at least not without extensive and repeated stays in rehab. Also Grigorieva was dropping some heavy hints along the lines of “The truth will come out” and “You’ll see“. If you love it when gold digging tramps start talking about he truth then you’re gonna dig what comes next. Oksie claims that Mel Gibson is a drunken brute who beat he face off her!

The first assigns that this might not have been an amicable split was when word leaked that Gibson had filed a restraining order against Oksie. Mel’s people filed off the usual bullshit press release claiming that Mel and Oksie were still bosom buds, and that they planned to raise their child jointly. Oksie was soon to call his drunken bigoted ass on that publicly!

Oksie claimed that she was the one who filed for a restraining order. She insists that Mel needed restraining because he was extremely violent. OG says that Mel beat her up in a drunken fit – perhaps about the Jews – during which he broke her teeth and gave her a concussion. Oksie says that she filed the restraining order, out of fear for her well being; and that Mel counter filed in an attempt to get access to his alleged love child.

Oksana did plenty of talking too. At first she didn’t say too much. She gave an interview to TMZ in which she played coy. When asked about the alleged beating she insisted that she couldn’t talk about it. There was a custody issue at stake and her lawyers told her not to talk about it. There were other things that she did want to talk about. She’s “doing great” for instance. Oh yeah and there’s also her alleged music career. Holding on to those unrealistic pipe dreams just shows such a great attitude!

She was to be less closed lipped with TMZ a little later. In a subsequent interview Oksie claimed that Mel beat her up badly back in January. That must’ve been the time Jodie Foster wanted him to do that flick with the beaver. Such humiliation mist be enough to send any A List ego into meltdown.

The wrinkle in the story is that Oksie stayed with Sugar Daddy after the alleged incident. Sources close to Mel Gibson (perhaps some one named Bugdoll, who likes to post semi literate gibberish on various Internet message boards?) have pointed that out claiming it’s proof positive that the bitch made it up. Oksie got an answer for that though: she stayed for a little while cause she loved him. If she’s the one who got the concussion then why does she talk like we’re the ones with brain damage?

Naturally Mel can explain this away. He admits that there was some physical contact back in January, but it was justified. According to Mel they were all hanging out around the pool back in Jan. when Oksie started acting up. She grabbed young Lucia – the child who might be Mel’s though David Foster ain’t off that paternity hook either – and ran around the back of the house. She then threw herself, baby and all, down on the ground. She proceeded to get up, run inside, and then shake the baby like a rag doll. Perhaps remembering all those ‘shaken baby syndrome‘ stories, Mel figured it was appropriate to lay the smack down on that sorry bitch’s ass – though Mel would describe it more diplomatically as “some physical contact“.

Now Mel insists that everything was copacetic after that. Oksie went traveling with him. When they eventually split Mel stayed over at her Russian pad looking after Lucia while Oksie continued to beat the dead horse which is her musical career. Oksie mom even sent the body guards away so father and daughter could enjoy some quality time together! However Oksie started thinking that maybe joint custody wasn’t such a hot idea. She filed for a restraining order keeping Mel at least 100 yards away from either her or her daughter. She wouldn’t even let Gibson spend Father’s Dad with l’il Lucia. What’s more, Oksie’s claiming that she’s got the goods on Mel by way of tape recorded conversations! Since the tapes were made without Mel’s consent or knowledge a judge has ordered them sealed, and Oksana gag ordered to prevent her from talking about them. Knowing Oksana though, we’ll probably be hearing a lot more soon. She seems like a tough one to keep gagged.

voodoo videos

That sad thing is that all this drama is keeping mel from his important research into Freemasonry & the occult. Considering that Hollywood is rotten with occultism, the world really needs Mel and his drunken outlandish conspiracism now more than ever. Well mel has got his hands full so it’s up to the rest of us – you & me – to be extra vigilant so that those Hollywood sorcerers don’t manage to pull the wool over our eyes. You can begin to be more vigilant by keeping up on Tila Tequila’s daring anti Illuminati posts over @ MissTilaOMG, and by watching the following short but startling videos!

Hollywood Insiders: Full Disclosure 1/8 from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

3 of 8 Fallen Angels(Occult Symbolism in Film) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

5 of 8 Fallen Angels(New World Order movies) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

Of course witch craft is one of the more mundane threats we face. Coming soon the ET angle – look for our Wondertrash entitled simply UFO!

UFO from rama on Vimeo.

In tastiest hyperboles

UFO – Episode 10,t=1,mt=video
Deleted User | MySpace Video

Just remember that no one quits SHADO – that’s why they spend billions on security and zero on on retirement benefits!


Sexy ‘n’ Sorry

positions with perks

Brit motor cross boss robin mortimer died after a nitrous oxide fueled s&m sex session with top european dominatrix mistress lucreziaWhen you’re a big high powered celebrity doin’ some screwin’ is just one of the perks of the position. Of course sometimes things get out of hand. Like in the strange case of Robin Mortimer. Mortimer is the founder, and boss,of British Motorcross. he also had a healthy interest in some unhealthy pastimes; like bondage and extreme sadomasochism.

Mistress Lucrezia bills herself as europe's most pervesrted and dangerous dominatrix and has claimed a high profile casuality in the person of robin mortimerMortimer had a wife, however still felt the need to go trolling around London’s numerous sicko clubs looking for a little relief from his urges. That’s where he made the acquaintance of Mistress Lucrezia. Ms Lucrezia is one of Europe’s most perverted dominatrices, and a prostitute. Together with her partner Mistress Juno, the woman who describes herself as “sadistic, intelligent & perverse,” and “a sadist of the worst kind,” entertained Mortimer at her Belgian flat for over the course of a weekend. Somewhere between the whips, chains, and nitrous oxide, Mortimer died. Prosecutors are awaiting the results of a full autopsy before deciding how to proceed. That leaves everyone else asking “How did Jesse James ever miss out on this bitch?

BTW nitrous oxide fueled sex is what killed Brit funny man Peter Sellars.

Destiny’s love child

Beyonce KNowles has stopped speaking to her father after DNA tests confirmed him as the father of a son by tv actress Alexsandra WrightThe combination of sexy & sorry has reached into the rarefied world of super entertainer Beyonce Knowles. Knowles has stopped speaking to her father, and completely shut him out of her life after it was revealed that he fathered a love child with a woman 20 years his junior. DNA tests confirmed that Matthew Knowles father a son, Nixon (that name never works out) on his 38 year old mistress Alexsandra Wright, and he did it while still married to Beyonce’s mom!

Matthew managed Beyonce’s career through her early rise to fame with Destiny’s Child. However things have reached an all time low point between Beyonce & her dad. Unnamed sources are quoted as saying:

Beyoncé was horrified to find out her dad cheated on her mom. She always looked up to him, and she is very close to her mom, so this has hit her really hard. She is refusing to speak to him, which is making things difficult where it comes to managing her career. Some people at Columbia now think it would be better to move him aside.

The suit was filed back in October, and the resulting DNA tests have allowed the courts to compel the Knowles the elder to pay almost $9000 a month in child support. It also helped trigger a divorce between Beyonce’s parents. Naturally Beyonce’s PR reps are hard at work denying the obvious. Says one: “There is no merit to this. This is absolutely false.

BTW if Wright’s name sounds familar it might be because she was no the TV series Scrubs.

celebrity quote of the day:

People write to me and say, ‘I’m giving up, you’re not talking to me.’ I just write them a simple message like, ‘Never give up,’ you know? And it changes their life.
~Justin Bieber

That Bieber is really on the ball. Speaking of which baseball season has begun and a healthy interest in sports is a good remedy for an unhealthy interest in sexy time – Unless you’re ARoid!. So Keep you eye on the ball & remember something inspioring that some one else told you sometime! That way you can avoid bugging Bieber.


Speaking of freaky sex Lexx hottie Xenia Seeberg has veered into the extremes of drastic plastic surgery. Since splitting with her hubby (he called it quits after Xenia, a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, beat the shit out of him. The poor man had to show up at the Berlin premier of Inglorious Basterds wearing shades and an eye patch – also with a new chick!) Xenia has had a insecurity crisis. She assumes that the marriage tanked out because she’s losing her looks, instead of because she beat the crap out of her man – men never complained about it before. So she’s gone under the knife for extensive touch ups. Here now is a world exclusive of Xenia’s post surgery face!

xenia seeberg's post plastic surgery facexenia seeberg's post plastic surgery face
I’m sure that it’ll look just fine once the sharp edges flatten out out. On the bright side her fore head is very smooth.



The Legion of Super Heroes

G20 protesters freak out and run amok in down town TorontoPoliticians are the superheroes of the celebrity world. Right now in Toronto an international band of high powered do gooders have descended on the city to share their insights on putting the world right and defeating the forces evil. The usual suspects have arrived: Saturn Girl, Bouncing Boy, Lard Lad, Radioactive Man, Hiro, Dr. Cyclops von Freeze, and Captain America – aka POTUS! Every Good Guy in the western hemisphere is here, with the exception of Dr. Drew Pinsky. He’s too busy planting drugs and guns in Lindsay Lohan’s car; which is an idea he got while watching Kathy Bates break James Caan’s ankles in Misery – “Now that’s a lady who knows how to get things done damn it!

A funny thing happened on the way to the good guy convention!

While the Just Us League convenes in Ontario’s scenic cottage country, the kind of hell high security measure can provoke has been unleashed. As police settle in to their newly acquired super powers, behind the 6 million dollar chain link force field, protesters – or no goodniks if you prefer – have gathered to raise hell. Armed with pepper spray and stale slogans, the protesters have descended in down town TO, at the heart of what’s been called The Red Zone – the area that has been shut off by police. As expected things are starting to get rowdy.

security complex!

Their concerns seem to be the new police state powers that the Ontario legislature sneaked through last night, giving authorities carte blanche arrest powers over anyone with in 5 metres, or about 20 feet, of the fenced off security zone. If you find yourself in that unfortunate area and are accosted by a copper, then you’d better do everything he says with a smile and an enthusiastically compliant attitude – the kind of gung ho”Yes sir!” basic training likes to beat into boot campers – or you could find yourself off to another high security area: the poky!

cartoonish super villainy & superdickery

Not that protesters are deterred. As said they’ve turned out en masse to confound the coppers and get their 15 minutes of dubious glory. I’m not exactly sure what else they hope to accomplish. Political activism went sideways in the 60’s. Nowadays it’s not about working together to creat a more peaceful world. It’s about playing cat and mouse games with authority, and making yourself look clever by making cops look dumb (“I’ll be Itchy and you be Scratchy” – not much of a challenge). Ideals have been replaced by tactics. If the medium is the message that makes activism mere superdickery.

cartoonish violence – more fun than a barrel of monkeys

So the protesters are having a field day. It’s as if the circus has come to town, but a circus tailor made for idle, mischievous middle class youths who can’t occupy their minds with video games or the Internet. Meanwhile the Superfriends are dining on pate de fois gras somewhere far behind the security screen; and perhaps unaware of the brouhaha building outside. The good news is that this farce should end quickly enough some time next week, and hopefully before superheroes, or protesters, can do any real harm.

BTW fans of 640 AM’s Gary The Spaceman Bell & his The View From Space; you can get your fix of conspiracy right here by using the player below. If you’ve got about 100 hours or so to fill you can listen to the whole thing; for an advanced degree in tin foil hattery. Such a degree will qualify you for admittance into any psych ward in North America. IN fact you only have to show up in the emergence ward talking this shit and you’ll be in a padded cell in under 1 hour! Free room & board is more than most advanced degrees can boast nowadays!
Find more music like this on space


Are the best of us like the rest of us?

the human condition – Survive the dive and arrive alive!

was mythological Icarus the first recorded instance of celebrity personality disorderCelebrities seem to have it all. While they do appear to have fulfilled our most cherished aspiration like fame. wealth, beauty, etc.; they are also prone to the same set backs as the rest of us; like unemployment, illness, & death. It doesn’t matter how high they’ve ascended either, since the fickle finger of fate can reach them even at the pinnacle, as poor Sandra Bullock found out shortly after what should’ve been the greatest moment of her life.

an insane instance

Take Tom Cruise for instance. Back in his Nicole Kidman days no one in Hollywood was bigger. Paramount payed him the princely sum of 10 million a year just to keep an office in their studio. Then Major Tom lost touch with ground control, & went haywire on Oprah’s couch! After that it was as if he couldn’t get arrested. Even though his movies had always been solid A material, people couldn’t get over the image of him on afternoon TV giggling and jumping around like a lemur on crack cocaine.

Cruise falters while halting Hitler!

Tom has put tout a few movies since then, most notably Valkyrie. That was the one wear he tried to kill Hitler! Maybe that explains why Tom is in PR overdrive lately. He’s just had his Knight & Day debut with Cameron Diaz – she’s the girl who stays in shape by having sex and who’s name spells “Crazed, I moan“. They were a hit together in Vanilla Sky; where Diaz played the crazy stalker chick. Even though critics liked them together again this time, the movie flopped. It only brought in about 4 million on it’s Wednesday opening. So Tom is now making a last ditch effort to hype the flick – by appearing on Jimmy Kimmel. Here now are the clips from that, and though not as interesting as his Oprah Winfrey work, is posted for your viewing enjoyment.

Jimmy Kimmel’s Mind

Tom Cruise wasn’t the only thing on Jimmy Kimmel’s mind last night. He also took some time out in his monologue to reflect on the passing of pop icon Michael Jackson. Next to Brooke Shields and Elizabeth Taylor, Jackson was most closely associated with his side kick – Bubbles the Chimp. That strange relationship is what elicited comment from Mr. Kimmel.

selling your soul & mortgaging paradise

Michael & Bubbles: The Untold Story
– that must’ve been a humdinger! Michael Jackson is another instance of a celeb who had the world, until life caught up with them. In the year prior to his death he couldn’t turn a buck; he sold most of his major assets such as a majority interest in the Beatles catalog, mortgaged Neverland, and had even planned a come back tour. It was during the preparations for the tour that he died from an overdose of profonol, administered by disgraced cardiologist Dr. Conrad Murray. In the year since people have been unable to talk about little else but Jackson. Other celebrities who passed about the same time were eclipsed: celebrities like Farrah Fawcett.

Great Big Splash!

Farrah passed at almost the same time as Jackson. She’d been battling intestinal cancer for some time – so the media outlets had her obituary already written (it’s standard operating procedure for mags to write up the obits for celebs most likely in advance, so that they’ll be ready at a moment’s notice). Big splashy tributes and retrospectives had been planned. When Michael Jackson died unexpectedly (Almost, Wondertrash had been posting on Jackson’s worsening health for several months before his actual death – search the archives & see!), it pushed Farrrah out of the picture. Only Ryan O Neal’s disgraceful funeral antics kept Farrah in the public’s mind’s eye. Now with the anniversary of her death here as well – here’s a a clip on how her family is coping with the loss.

At least Ryan didn’t make a pass at anyone during that. Then again the only close kin available was troubled son Redmond. However Ryan and Redmond aren’t the only ones remembering Farrah – the good folk @ have put together a little video tribute for the late actress:

Restylane & the rest of us

Farrah’s illness and passing serve as a reminder that celebrities are flesh and blood like the rest of us, no matter how hard they try to replace the mortal bits with collagen & restylane! Gywneth Paltrow might deny that she’s is any percentage restylane, though she does exude some strange oily substances when subjected to bright lights – maybe the heat affects her frigid air. She also preaches her own version of the good life via her internet newsletter GOOP (“You don’t need to be an icy bitch to appreciate the finer things in life but it helps“). Despite her growing awareness & icy bitchiness Gywneth too is as mortal as the rest of us. It’s recently been revealed that Gywnnie has a bone disease. Here’s the low down on that!

Fair Ms Frigidaire – she used to be the next Grace Kelley

Hopefully Gywnnie won’t be too disappointed with herself. A trip to the naturopath and some power yoga should have her back to her old self in no time flat. Besides, illness can strike on reptoids even higher up the food chain than her. Reptoids like Dick “Darth Vader” Cheney. Cheney is more accustomed to putting people in the hospital – like the time he shot his best friend in the face while pheasant hunting down in Texas. His friend later apologized for the embarrassment he caused Cheney by blocking his shot. I guess there’s nothing like a face full of bird shot to help you get it in perspective.

Is Darth Cheney a Dick Vader?

In fairness to Darth Dick, he has logged some hospital time himself. It’s usually for a heart condition, which is surprising considering all the rumors that he hasn’t got one. Anyway the skeptics on that will be disappointed to hear that Cheney does in fact have a heart – it’s put him in the hospital again too.

Maggoty with political opinion!

Since America has the best health care in the world you’d think that those high powered specialist would’ve gotten to the bottom of his problem by now. My guess is that it’s something simple. His heart – the most human organ, is probably just rejecting it’s host. Cultivating alittle warmth and compassion might make Cheney’s stony breast a more habitable place. A good place for Cheney to start might be by informing himself about health care. He might even be able to take a few notes from celebrity commentator Penn Jillette in the following video:

wearing their Achilles’ Heel on their sleeve

No matter how rich & powerful they get, celebs are still prone to the same weaknesses as their fellow men. It’s as if there ongoing attempts to dehumanize themselves into immortal glory – like Achilles bathing in the river Styx – were doomed to failure. A vulnerable heel remains for fate to strike at. With that in mind, maybe we can extend a little human understanding towards those who have become the prisoners of their own ambition and insecurity. We might also take the lifestyles of the rich and famous as cautionary tales. Live your lives wisely rather than too well.


Tori Spelling: "I see dead people!"

Cruise Control Fizzles

tom cruise new flick knight and day flops at the box officeThere’s some bad news for Tom Cruise. His new flick Knight & Day flopped at the box office. Ticket sales for the film’s Wednesday release totaled about $4 million, which is not enough to keep him on the A List. By comparison Toy Story 3, which also had a Wednesday opened, grossed $13 million on it’s first day. So that leaves Tom with Les Grossman as his motion picture fall back position! Of course he could always retire. With a 25 + movie career and an estimated billion dollar fortune he’s got more money than Xenu!

3’s company

tori spelling takes time out from promoting her new book to have a chat with the ghost of farrah fawcettThere’s another Hollywood personality that’s having trouble making a go of it these days. Back when super producer Aron Spelling was still alive, and daughter Tori was till in his good books, it seemed like anything was possible for her. Then she hooked up with Canadian actor Dean McDermott. They met on the set of Body of Evidence – or some other B movie – while McDermott was still hooked up with his now ex wife Canadian daytime TV personality Mary Jo Eustace.

if you got the money honey

Tori and Dean seemed to hit it off: Dean is a tall good looking fellow and Tori was rich as sin. So there was grounds for mutual attraction. Tori was used to geting what she wanted and wasn’t gonna let a little thing like his wife get in the way. So they started getting it on, and poor old Mary Jo had to go. The next thing you know McDermott had divorced his wife and taken on Tori, who was promptly disowned by Big Daddy. Aron had no doubt that McD was attracted to his daughter; he just wasn’t sure what McD found attractive about her. Aron assumed that it was probably money and so wrote Tori out.

Spelling weight loss diet – food for thought

That lead Tori on to her current path of insecurity & attention seeking. With only a million to her name, and probably doubting her husband too, Tori started pitching reality TV projects, all involving her new husband. She also started getting plastic surgery and dropping weight until she became nearly unrecognizable. The drastic weight loss even sparked concerns about the actress’s health.

Tori goes Tila Tequila!

None of the actress’s projects paid off. Now A professional celebrity can’t allow that to continue for long. They thrive on our attention. Usually when a celeb started to fade from the lime light they can get desperate, & ridiculous, in their attempts to recapture that attention. Tori is proving to be no exception to the “look at me” rule. In an interview with Out Magazine Spelling has made a startling confession – she’s been in touch with the ghost of Farrah Fawcett!

there must be an angel

farrah fawcett returns from the grave to keep an eye on ryan o neal - she must be getting an eyefulThe visitation from Charlie’s Angel came during a session with psychic John Edward (psychic is one of the other ways to make it in Hollywood). Tori, who had been Fawcett’s neighbor for years and years, claimed that Farrah contacted her with specific call outs for her troubled son Redmond. Says Tori for the incident: “It was pretty surreal. We were neighbors for years. She basically wanted me to give a message to [Fawcett’s son] Redmond and to her family and she was doing these very specific call-outs for things that they would understand.

the medium has a message

Tori insists that she’s completely convinced that she was contacted by Farrah. Says Spelling: “If it had been some psychic that I’d walked in off the street for five bucks it would have been different. But it came through John Edward. He’s a medium, so he channels people. I’ve been to regular psychics that turn over cards, tarot cards, and sort of read your future, that type of thing. But, with him, literally people just come to him and say things that they want the person to hear.” See what i mean about making it in Hollywood – consumer spirituality a la Oprah Winfrey. Credibility – what you get when you can fake sincerity – is directly related to price too!

uncharted territori & Mis Spelling?

Of course the cynics – like The Huffington Post – have an alternate explanation. Those downers, who are bigger wet blankets than the Amazing Randi, have proposed a rational explanation. They have pointed out that Tori has a new book out called Uncharted TerriTori. Spelling is in the midst of a promotional blitz for the book. So the Farrah visitation might be only a ploy to get attention for the book.

thriller & other postmortem endorsements

I prefer to give Spelling the benefit of the doubt. She’s squandered money on psychics before. For instance she’s used them to contact Dean’s parents – her dead in laws think that she’s great BTW, and glad he finally got rid of Eustace. She’s also taken the liberty of contacting bon vivant Ryan O Neal to tell him that Farrah’s keeping an eye on him. She started by asking Ryan “Please don’t think I’m crazy” Those who know Tori probably already think that. Besides uif she really wanted attention for her book she would’ve said that she’d been contacted by the spirit of Michael Jackson, wouldn’t she?


Jersey Shore Goes Twilight, Twilight Goes Mormon!

jersey shore cast spoofs twilight on jimmy kimmel

“Hey buddy – ya can bite me!” – when vampires love garlic?

What’s going on with the cast of Jersey Shore? Well rumors is that they’re rotten with herpes. One former crewman said that Valtrex is being passed out to the sociable realty TV stars like candies. The Jerseys are also winning us over with some amusing put on – they parodied the already tiresome Twilight series in a comedy sketch for Jimmy Kimmel!

Spaced Out Odyssey

I already like it better than the original. Speaking of Twilight, Robert Patterson is assuring fans of the vampire love story that it is not based on Mormonism, nor does it contain any secret Mormon “hidden messages“. The author of the books is herself a Mormon, and hard core conspiracy theorists claim that Mormonism is a form of Freemasonry. They point to the series of secret handshakes and passwords high initiation Mormons believe will get them into heaven where they can become gods themselves, and have ecstatic space sex forever! Actually it sounds more like some kind of Scientology offshoot, but not like The Process Church – Sci’s most infamous offshoot.

a message to the madness?

The alarm bells where set off by the most recent Twilight’s plot turn in which Bella decides to keep her baby after getting knocked up out of wedlock. Media watchers suspected that this was some kind of pro choice Mormon message. RPatz says ‘no worries’ – cause it has nothing to do with radical right wing cultic pseudo Christianity. RPatz goes on to explain that the whole Twilight sage came to authoress Stephanie Meyer in a dream. Whether it was dictated in the dream by archangel Moroni or not he left unsaid.

Speaking of the occult here’s a short video on The Process Church.

Love Sex Fear Death: Inside The Process Church of the Final Judgment with Timothy Wyllie from DANGEROUS MINDS on Vimeo.


Al Gore is a sex fiend

There’s more to Al Gore than hot air and carbon emissions

national enquirer reports that al gore is a sex fiend, attacks masseuse at Portland Oregon hotelAl Gore was generally seen as being “not the man” his boss was. Gore was seen as all vision an no libido; the sort of man who might have kept his estranged wife awake at night for hours with talking jags about global warming and environmentalism, and who could even take the fun out of meeting rock stars like Sting and Bono with his eco preachiness and luke warm earnestness. If that’s the kind of guy you think that Al Gore is then the National Enquirer wants you to know that you’re thinking wrong.

disturb his enthusiasm

Gore is turning out to have alot less vision and a lot more urge than previously billed. His whole global warming scheme has been officially discredited, with a little help from all those world class scientists who didn’t sign that unanimous agreement. He was rumoured to be carrying on a torrid affair with Larry David’s ex wife. She’s denied that one. It’s just so embarrassing. Now the former next president of the United States is being investigated for sexually assaulting an Oregon masseuse.

The National Enquirer is reporting that Gore has been carrying on an affair with a ‘gorgeous’ masseuse even as his marriage to anti rock’n’roll crusader Tipper Gore was disintegrating. What’s more tabloid investigators claim that they have personally seen $540 massage bill, dated Oct. 24, 2006, with their own eyes.

Coming soon to the Enquirer: AL GORE LOVE CHILD!

The investigators have also seen official police reports regarding an incident with said masseuse. The report, alleging unwanted sexual contact, is marked “Confidential Special Report”, names Al Gore as the prep. It took place – again allegedly – in an upscale Portland Hotel. The Enquirer will not name the 54 year old woman involved, to protect her identity, and perhaps their own chances of winning a Pulitzer. Since that John Edwards story broke no politician in America is safe from the Enquirer’s prying eyes!


Atomic Kitten is Ballistic!

atomic kitten kerry katona's drugged out private life exposed in new documentaryHow fucked up is Kerry Katona? Fucked up enough to lose her lucrative endorsements after her coke snorting home video got leaked to the media. Kerry’s been trying to reform her image, but that effort is about to get blown out of thew water with yet more video. A documentary on the former Atomic Kitten singer is about to be released that was done at the worst of her addiction period.

The doc, due to be aired in February, shows Katona so messed up that she usually slurs her words. It also shows her losing it with the kids. During one segment Katona howls at her brood ‘You miserable bunch, you think you’ve got problems in life!‘ Her partner Mark Croft also gets in on the act telling 8 year old daughter Molly ‘I’m just about to smash your head in.’ Molly is a target for Katona too, who threatens to”knock out” the girl.
Since filming the documentary Katona has dropper her husband Mark Croft, and hired a new manager, Claire Powell. Powell has tired to clean up Katona’s trashed imaged. She’s booked Katona to star in anew reality TV series intended to show a clean and sober nice and easy version of KK. Powell has also tried to get the unfortunate documentary banned. Her attempts have been unsuccessful The flick is due to air as scheduled on C4, Thursday @ 10PM. So if you want to see how screwed up Katona is, then you can see for yourselves. Sounds like there’s a not ready for prime time family that’s in even rougher shape than the Gosselins!