Are the best of us like the rest of us?

the human condition – Survive the dive and arrive alive!

was mythological Icarus the first recorded instance of celebrity personality disorderCelebrities seem to have it all. While they do appear to have fulfilled our most cherished aspiration like fame. wealth, beauty, etc.; they are also prone to the same set backs as the rest of us; like unemployment, illness, & death. It doesn’t matter how high they’ve ascended either, since the fickle finger of fate can reach them even at the pinnacle, as poor Sandra Bullock found out shortly after what should’ve been the greatest moment of her life.

an insane instance

Take Tom Cruise for instance. Back in his Nicole Kidman days no one in Hollywood was bigger. Paramount payed him the princely sum of 10 million a year just to keep an office in their studio. Then Major Tom lost touch with ground control, & went haywire on Oprah’s couch! After that it was as if he couldn’t get arrested. Even though his movies had always been solid A material, people couldn’t get over the image of him on afternoon TV giggling and jumping around like a lemur on crack cocaine.

Cruise falters while halting Hitler!

Tom has put tout a few movies since then, most notably Valkyrie. That was the one wear he tried to kill Hitler! Maybe that explains why Tom is in PR overdrive lately. He’s just had his Knight & Day debut with Cameron Diaz – she’s the girl who stays in shape by having sex and who’s name spells “Crazed, I moan“. They were a hit together in Vanilla Sky; where Diaz played the crazy stalker chick. Even though critics liked them together again this time, the movie flopped. It only brought in about 4 million on it’s Wednesday opening. So Tom is now making a last ditch effort to hype the flick – by appearing on Jimmy Kimmel. Here now are the clips from that, and though not as interesting as his Oprah Winfrey work, is posted for your viewing enjoyment.

Jimmy Kimmel’s Mind

Tom Cruise wasn’t the only thing on Jimmy Kimmel’s mind last night. He also took some time out in his monologue to reflect on the passing of pop icon Michael Jackson. Next to Brooke Shields and Elizabeth Taylor, Jackson was most closely associated with his side kick – Bubbles the Chimp. That strange relationship is what elicited comment from Mr. Kimmel.

selling your soul & mortgaging paradise

Michael & Bubbles: The Untold Story
– that must’ve been a humdinger! Michael Jackson is another instance of a celeb who had the world, until life caught up with them. In the year prior to his death he couldn’t turn a buck; he sold most of his major assets such as a majority interest in the Beatles catalog, mortgaged Neverland, and had even planned a come back tour. It was during the preparations for the tour that he died from an overdose of profonol, administered by disgraced cardiologist Dr. Conrad Murray. In the year since people have been unable to talk about little else but Jackson. Other celebrities who passed about the same time were eclipsed: celebrities like Farrah Fawcett.

Great Big Splash!

Farrah passed at almost the same time as Jackson. She’d been battling intestinal cancer for some time – so the media outlets had her obituary already written (it’s standard operating procedure for mags to write up the obits for celebs most likely in advance, so that they’ll be ready at a moment’s notice). Big splashy tributes and retrospectives had been planned. When Michael Jackson died unexpectedly (Almost, Wondertrash had been posting on Jackson’s worsening health for several months before his actual death – search the archives & see!), it pushed Farrrah out of the picture. Only Ryan O Neal’s disgraceful funeral antics kept Farrah in the public’s mind’s eye. Now with the anniversary of her death here as well – here’s a a clip on how her family is coping with the loss.

At least Ryan didn’t make a pass at anyone during that. Then again the only close kin available was troubled son Redmond. However Ryan and Redmond aren’t the only ones remembering Farrah – the good folk @ have put together a little video tribute for the late actress:

Restylane & the rest of us

Farrah’s illness and passing serve as a reminder that celebrities are flesh and blood like the rest of us, no matter how hard they try to replace the mortal bits with collagen & restylane! Gywneth Paltrow might deny that she’s is any percentage restylane, though she does exude some strange oily substances when subjected to bright lights – maybe the heat affects her frigid air. She also preaches her own version of the good life via her internet newsletter GOOP (“You don’t need to be an icy bitch to appreciate the finer things in life but it helps“). Despite her growing awareness & icy bitchiness Gywneth too is as mortal as the rest of us. It’s recently been revealed that Gywnnie has a bone disease. Here’s the low down on that!

Fair Ms Frigidaire – she used to be the next Grace Kelley

Hopefully Gywnnie won’t be too disappointed with herself. A trip to the naturopath and some power yoga should have her back to her old self in no time flat. Besides, illness can strike on reptoids even higher up the food chain than her. Reptoids like Dick “Darth Vader” Cheney. Cheney is more accustomed to putting people in the hospital – like the time he shot his best friend in the face while pheasant hunting down in Texas. His friend later apologized for the embarrassment he caused Cheney by blocking his shot. I guess there’s nothing like a face full of bird shot to help you get it in perspective.

Is Darth Cheney a Dick Vader?

In fairness to Darth Dick, he has logged some hospital time himself. It’s usually for a heart condition, which is surprising considering all the rumors that he hasn’t got one. Anyway the skeptics on that will be disappointed to hear that Cheney does in fact have a heart – it’s put him in the hospital again too.

Maggoty with political opinion!

Since America has the best health care in the world you’d think that those high powered specialist would’ve gotten to the bottom of his problem by now. My guess is that it’s something simple. His heart – the most human organ, is probably just rejecting it’s host. Cultivating alittle warmth and compassion might make Cheney’s stony breast a more habitable place. A good place for Cheney to start might be by informing himself about health care. He might even be able to take a few notes from celebrity commentator Penn Jillette in the following video:

wearing their Achilles’ Heel on their sleeve

No matter how rich & powerful they get, celebs are still prone to the same weaknesses as their fellow men. It’s as if there ongoing attempts to dehumanize themselves into immortal glory – like Achilles bathing in the river Styx – were doomed to failure. A vulnerable heel remains for fate to strike at. With that in mind, maybe we can extend a little human understanding towards those who have become the prisoners of their own ambition and insecurity. We might also take the lifestyles of the rich and famous as cautionary tales. Live your lives wisely rather than too well.


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