Dog Days for Megan Fox

Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin conspire to destroy American television!

Looks like good news bad news depending on how you feel about Mel Gibson and reality TV. An unofficial, and there fore unscientific, online poll hosted by news site Zimbio has 74% of persons poled claiming that they would see another Mel Gibson movie. That’s almost as many as would avoid watching a new Bristol Palin Levi Johnston reality TV series! So who knows – there may actually be something to this; the pole I mean, and not that awful reality TV series that the Palins are planning. BTW I hear that the real reason why Mother Gosselin has gone of to visit Sister Sarah in Alaska is that they have appalling plans for a joint reality TV venture!

before Megan, after Fox

Now that reality is out of the way it’s back to the movies. Megan Fox used to have a promising career before she publicly mouthed off about director Michael Bay. It was all a part of her “straight shooter” routine. I say routine because they say in Follywood that when you can fake sincerity you’ve got it made. Megan may have faked it not wisely but too well since Bay took umbrage (got pissed off!). Some of his minions (flunkies) also began posting shit about her online; like that she’s a semi literate, half retarded TV actress with too much plastic surgery and a diva complex.

Bay unofficially mad; Megan officially out of a job

Once Megan figured out that Bay was unofficially mad she packed up the straight talk and put her motor mouth in reverse gear. At an awards show she publicity expressed her gratitude to Bay and the Transformers film franchisewhich has given me so much“. In another interview Mouthy Megan says that Transformers gave her a world, since before that she was sitting around eating Ramen Noodles. Informed Megan followers will probably doubt that she ever said any such thing since she started on a little show called Faith & Hope for 5 years, so it’s not like she was a complete nobody. Besides she confided to Conan O Brien, during an interview, that her favorite food is found at Red Lobster, and not in boil in the bag pouches! Now lest you accuse me of trying to put words in Megan’s mouth, here’s that Ramen Noodle interview, from Australian TV.

pretty disappointed & a fleet of lead balloons

I am so very disappointed in that young woman! Megan’s pretty disappointed too since Michael Bay went from being unofficial mad to officially dropping her from T3! Megan had other irons in the fire, like Jennifer’s Body *smirk* and Jonah Hex *snicker*. Still when your immediate career plans consist of a bunch of films that will drop faster than a fleet of lead balloons, it doesn’t hurt to have a guy like Bay in your corner.

new It

Maybe that’s why Megan is royally pissed about Transformers new addition. The new addition is Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington Whiteley, who has been hired to play Shia LaBeouf’s new love interest (man for a nerd that guy gets some real action – on screen anyway!). Now Rosie is a VS/underwear model so she has tons of previous experience when it comes to standing around looking hot & stupid. So much so that the entertainment media is calling her the new It Girl. That’s what has Megger’s knickers in a knot.

The old new It Girl & Coming Up Rosie

You see Meggers used to be the new It Girl, back when she had a viable movie career. In fact she’s still attached to the title. Coming in second regularly in those online World’s Hottest polls can be an important ego booster! Now everything is coming up Rosie. In fact RHW is booked up in magazine covers right up until the July 4rth 2011 Transformers 3 release. Those covers don’t just help promote the film but are also a valuable source of income, so that’s a lot of work! That has Meggers muttering under her breath, and often right out loud, about how this just isn’t right. Megan puts it more bluntly: she refers to Rosie as that “Victoria’s Secret slut” and complains about the amount of attention the young woman is getting. It’s reassuring that Meggers hasn’t lost that refreshing directness we’ve come to associate with her!

“Hi. You might remember me. I used to be the next Angelina Jolie.”

While Megan might be mad others are pleased with the change up, like the film’s crew. They’re describing RHW as a great change, specifically she’s a ‘real doll’, ‘sweet’, and ‘a joy to work with’. The inference then being that this is a change because Meggers was none of those things. In fact behind the scenes scuttlebutt is that the whole crew loves The New It Girl. So that leaves Megan stuck with her title of The Old New It Girl. (I suppose that means Angelina Jolie is officially still the It Girl but unofficially the Old It Girl). As masseuse botherer Al Gore could tell her, being the former next something without actually having been anything ain’t gonna get you anywhere!

if sex stills sells will Movies Inc bring sexy back?

Still there is some hope. The movie could tank. Then the new it girl will get blamed and the studio will want the old new it girl back. With money at stake it would be out of Bay’s hands. Producers outrank directors in the Follywood pecking order as directors outrank leading A list actors/actresses. Studio executives outrank the lot and they only think about deals and the bottom line (that’s why we have so many films based on comic books and old TV shows these days!). The executroids won’t want money squandered on a personal grudge, and so might lay down the law to force Bay to bring Fox back out of the dog house.

The face is familiar but what the hell was the name again? Worst movie moniker since Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Besides, Rosie Huntington Whiteley has almost no chance of making it as an actress. For one thing her name is almost too long to be remembered. That’s okay as a model; people only have to remember your face. As an actress they’ve got to remember your name. Hers would be tough to keep in mind without a 3×5 index card. So unless she changes it to something like Rose Hunt, or even Apu de Beaumarchais, she might have to go back to staring blankly into still cameras to earn her keep. In which case the next whirlwind 12 months of Transformers promotional magazine covers will be excellent experience – & save some money kid. You wouldn’t want to wind up as the next Megan Fox!

BTW there’s something that really needs to be addressed. Those stories going around about Anne Hathaway sneaking around Comic Con disguised as Hawkgirl are probably false.


Anne Hathaway hawkgirl comic conAnne Hathaway hawkgirl comic con
Also if you like Hollywood history check out

All about Oscar: the history and politics of the Academy Awards

Von Emanuel Levy

on googlebooks!

wondertrash

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