The Celebrity Minute: 1 celebrity minute out of 15 minutes of fame

Paris says that she’ll do whatever it takes to fix her image. Glad she’s focused on the real problem. If she knew what she was saying, and meant it as sardonic humour, then everyone has radically underestimated that young woman! Of course if she knows what she’s doing then she’s a fucking genius. If Paris is famous for being famous then it’s because the medium is the message. If Hilton has consciously applied that principle then she should be teaching a class in media studies! Hang in there, Paris baby!

As for Lohan wanting her career back – to whom much is given much is asked; and sometimes everything gets taken away. Fame and fortune are perilous, so stop being a sucker.


the view from space with Gary Bell

Now for the many many fans of Gary Bell & The View From Space, here’s the latest broadcast!

Now here are some of those Emmy Award winners!

Drama Series: Mad Men
Comedy Series: Modern Family


Lead Actor in a Drama Series: Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Lead Actress in a Drama Series: Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: Edie Falco, Nurse Jackie

Supporting Actor in a Drama Series: Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
Supporting Actress in a Drama Series: Archie Panjabi, The Good Wife
Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series: Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family
Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: Jane Lynch, Glee
Lead Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie: Al Pacino, You Don’t Know Jack
Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie: Claire Danes, Temple Grandin
Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie: David Strathairn, Temple Grandin
Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie: Julia Ormond, Temple Grandin


Drama Series: Steve Shill, Dexter
Comedy Series: Ryan Murphy, Glee
Variety, Music or Comedy Special: Bucky Gunts, Vancouver 2010: XXI Olympic Winter Games
Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special: Mick Jackson, Temple Grandin


Drama Series: Matthew Weiner and Erin Levy, Mad Men
Comedy Series: Steven Levitan and Christopher Lloyd, Modern Family
Variety, Music or Comedy Special: 63rd Annual Tony Awards
Miniseries, Movie or a Dramatic Special: Adam Mazer, You Don’t Know Jack

Made for Television Movie: Temple Grandin
Miniseries: The Pacific
Reality Competition Program: Top Chef
Variety, Music or Comedy Series: The Daily With Jon Stewart

And the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award went to George Clooney.

BTW Dexter’s Michael C Hall was totally robbed! Let’s face it – it takes an amazing actor to make an emotionally alienated serial murderer sympathetic and likable! Even John Lithgow didn’t manage that during his time on the show.


Paris Hilton Busted for Cocaine

more hookery than usual

paris hilton mugshotSeems like Paris Hilton can’t stay out of trouble for very long. Just last night she was put cruising on the Las Vegas Strip (and outside outside the Wynn Hotel) when she got pulled over by the cops. Las Vegas’ finest observed what they thought was marijuana smoke coming out of the window of Hilton’s black Escalande. Now since Hilton probably wasn’t participating in a vote by the College of Cardinals – even online – the fuzz felt that they had could grounds to further investigate.

Further investigation revealed that Paris had cocaine on her. Not much cocaine, but just enough for her to be charged with a count of felony possession (class e). In case you’re not a regular Law & Order viewer a felony is more serious than a misdemeanor. In fact it’s a big league criminal charge! That lead to Paris and her new BFF Cy Waits to get booked into Clarke Country Jail.

Though the charges were serious, Paris skated only a few short hours later, on bail (thanks to lawyer David Chesnoff). She was busted at approximately 11:30 PM. By about 3;30 Am she was back home again and on Twitter. Now she made no Twitter mention of her recent misfortune. She just popped online long enough to tell everyone that she was home, getting ready for bed, and watching Family Guy. Oh yeah, and “xoxox, everyone” from Paris.

As for poor Cy, well he wasn’t so fortunate. Even though he’s the very man who helped Paris thwart a home invasion by a gun wielding intruder earlier in the week – he didn’t get sprung along with Paris. Cy had to wallow in prison under a charge of driving while intoxicated. So whether or not crime pays, we can say that Paris is a poor person to stand next to when lightening strikes. Though she has an excellent raincoat, she doesn’t provide much coverage to anyone else.

“the-drugs-weren’t-mine” defense

BTW Paris already has a fantastic alibi that might even make an unlikely legal defense. The coke was found in her purse, and she claims that the purse isn’t hers. This is the same defense she used earlier this year in South Africa, where she got busted for pot possession. Sources say the fact that she got released so quickly on bail is an indication of how seriously the prosecution is taking the case. The fact that her boyfriend de jour Cy Waits got held may indicate that he’s being set up as fall guy – but who knows. The drugs were found in her purse, and she was the only woman in the car at the time of the bust. Paris however insists that she had just come from a night club where oodles of women, and their purses, were present. So maybe she grabbed up the wrong purse because she was too stoned to notice. Anyone would buy that if they were on a jury, right? Perhaps, if jury duty lowers your IQ by 15 points!

Also the above mugshot of Paris shows her looking as good as ever. Hopefully she will whether this storm as she has her others. The pressures of fame can take a lot out of you. Take Sarah Palin for instance. She’s been America’s heart throb ever since John McCain discovered her as a running mate via google search (Since then Sarah has moved up in the world, and onto Twitter! She always was an ambitious girl with an eye to her future!). Though she was an attractive lady at the time, her brush with fame has left her looking the worse for wear. Just take a look at this most recent Sarah Palin picture!

sarah palin candidOf course she got herself prettied up for her big Tea Party Rally. On a totally unrelated note – for our Sunday Wondertrash matinee: here’s an example of how movies can make anything look good, especially evil – with Triumph of the Will.


Levi Johnston is shooting for the stars – but still firing blanks!

Moron doesn’t know when to quit

Levi Johnston seems serious about his mayoral run in Wasilla. That’s promising since so far the guy has show a real lack of follow through! He knocked up Bristol Palin – soon to be seen on Dancing With the Stars – and went on to be a dead beat dad. Then he said alot of stuff about Sarah Palin, which he took back publicly. He even apologized to Sarah, but then he took that back claiming he’d been tricked into making it. Then he announced his engagement to Bristol. That went bust – much to Sarah Palin’s relief – when word got out that he’d knocked up another gal. When the engagement went bust so did his plans for a reality TV series with Bristol. So the lad has had some real trouble making things stick.

more schemes and scams

When he announced his plans to run for office up in Alaska, people naturally assumed that this was some kind of lame publicity stunt. They also expected it to run it’s course in about 15 minutes or so. That’s the usual half life of a Levi Johnston scheme. However that lad is out and about trying to win the voters over.

bullet boy takes aim, sets sights on whatever

For instance Levi recently made a public appearance at a Wasilla gun store. Johnston showed up at Chimo Guns to meet and greet anyone silly enough to vote for him (don’t count him out ’cause Alaskans did vote Palin in as governor). Naturally he showed up with a camera crew in tow – don’t leave home without one. Levi does seem to have more than public service on his mind. He’s taping his mayoral run for a reality TV series called ‘Loving Levi: The Road to the Mayor’s Office‘.

let’s give ’em something to talk about

So how did this recent fiasco turn out? Well here’s what TMZ employees had to say: “We’re told Levi talked with some of the employees at the shop about hunting — but according to our source, the political hopeful hasn’t had any time to kill some Dall sheep [Levi’s game of choice] … probably because of the whole reality show thing.

So he’s staying focused! Maybe his manager Tank Jones has something to do with that. The fellow seems to have an insane confidence in Johnston. Tank told RadaronlinePeople questioned Jesus Christ, so I definitely don’t care about these mere mortals questioning Levi Johnston. People can question whatever they want. I mean, he’s going to keep on doing his thing. He was going to do this, even if this wasn’t a reality show. If you live in a town and things are happening in that town, and you’re displeased with it, what do you do? You try to change those things.”

2 heads better than one, but 2 half wits don’t add up to whole wittedness

So Levi is bigger than Jesus now. I don’t know what Mr Tank is taking or even talking about, but by the sounds of him he better check himself into one of those rehabs fast. He already sounds like he’s got some advanced brain damage going on. He can’t rely on the ‘2 heads are better than 1‘ principle either, ’cause the other head in this belongs to Levi – a man who publicly admits to being out witted by Sarah Palin. So that would make this a case of 2 half wits failing to add up to whole wittedness. Never mind Levi. there’s plenty of opportunities left. Octomom is broke and desperate – so there’s got to be an in there for you! Besides, now that he’s staying focused, the next step on the path to maturity might be developing a plan B. It’s good to have a fall back position, in case his efforts to undermine democracy come up short.


Anna Nicole Smith asks "What Drugs?"

“Of course I do drugs! I’m fucked up right now!”

Anna Nicole Smith’s
drug use is common knowledge these days. Back before her untimely death it was an open secret. Rumours of drug use hounded the model through out her career. Many of these rumours were fueled by her frequent drunken and drugged up appearances in public. Anna Nicole always adamantly denied drug use. In the following short video interview Smith addresses the question of drug use with a “Who me?” type response. The odd thing is – Smith was obviously stoned while giving the interview! Just look:

Celebrities have probably done more to discourage illicit drug use than a whole army of Nancy Reagans and Dr Lauras could ever hope to accomplish. Now if only they could discourage the alarming plastic surgery trend!

Wow – Sly Stallone’s mom looks just like Carrot Top. More like Carrot Top than her own son even! Perhaps that resemblances is from using the same plastic surgeon. What possesses the stars to get these horrible things done to their faces? It can’t be because they think it makes them more attractive. They would have to be beyond delusional, and into vision impairment, to believe that. Perhaps it’s just another version of celebrity personality disorder – Let’s get which often involves both attention seeking and addictive behavior. Let’s get Larry King’s opinion on the matter.

We can only hope that Carrot Top returns to his senses before he winds up looking like Lisa Rina!

Rock the Casbah

Celebrities are people who will go to any lengths to stand out. Naturally everyone likes to have their moment. However you shouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb to get it. If you must stick out like a sore thumb then you might wind up like Khurram Syed. He was a contestant on Canadian Idol, where he failed to impress judges with his Avril Lavinge Complicated cover. He made an impression on the public though. He also made an impression on the RCMP when he got busted as a member of a homegrown terrorist ring. When picked up he and his cronies had the ingredients for explosives, and were still trying to figure out how to put them together. At least he didn’t let his CI experiences discourage him, or he might never have gotten his 15 minutes of fame.

Now that might have been pretty bad, but just think about it – if Hitler had received more encouragement as a painter we might have avoided World War 2! At least Khurram didn’t do classic “Rock the Casbah” for his Canadian Idol number.

BTW speaking of celebrity sore thumbs keep your eyes open for next week’s issue of the Pulitzer nominated National Enquirer! It’s their “Spill the beans on Oprah” issue!

wondertrash national enquirer spills the beans on oprah winfrey
& from the non Pulitzer nominated competition:


More Trouble for Michael Douglas

It really hasn’t been a good year for Michael Douglas. First his oldest son Cameron got busted in a major meth trafficking crack down. He got caught in a New York hotel trying to sell about 20 000 in drugs to an undercover cop. That lead to a court date that lead to even more trouble. Cameron’s girlfriend tried to pass him heroin inside an electric toothbrush in open court. She got caught and that didn’t do anything for young Cameron’s case.

Naturally this preyed on Michael’s mind. He’d attempted to straighten the kid out with the tough love approach. He had cut the kid off financially. As a Hollywood brat Cameron wasn’t really qualified to do anything, except work in films or deal dope. Since Michael had put the kibosh on any film work it was down to dope dealing. So of course Michael felt personally responsible for his son’s misfortune. Perhaps that’s why the actor recently developed throat cancer.

While Michael was trying to deal with his son’s incarceration and his own illness his ex wife Diandra came out of the wood work. Mike and Diandra had been married for about 23 years. They divorced about 10 years back when Michael got hooked up with Catherine Zeta Jones. The divorce was fairly amicable, with Mike and Diandra agreeing on a split up of everything that he’d earned while they were together. The fine print included any future earnings from projects he’d worked on during their time together. The fine print paid off for Diandra. She earned about 6 million last year out of that.

The fine print didn’t work out do well for Mike. He’s recently released Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps. Since it’s a Wall Street sequel and Mike did Wall Street while he was with Diandra, she thinks that she’s entitled to a piece of the action. So her lawyers are suing Douglas for some of the proceeds.

Mike doesn’t want to take this lying down. So he’s had his lawyers contest this, and issue a public statement calling Diandra a greedy woman who won’t let him live in peace. Diandra’s people have responded, claiming in their own press release that it’s exactly the opposite – not that Diandra isn’t greedy, but that Michael isn’t living up to his obligations.

So it’s kind of ironic that this brouhaha has developed over a money film. It couldn’t have happen at a worse time either, since Douglas really needs the peace and quiet to deal with his health, and family, issues. So what can you say, except money never sleeps, trouble never stops, and there’s no rest for the weary.


Tiger & Elin are done

Tiger Woods’ multi million dollar divorce from Elin Nordgrin is a done deal. Now that was only a matter of time ever since Tiger’s sleazy secret sex life became public. Gossipistas will recall that the Woods story came to light over the course of a wild and wacky weekend in which a text message meant for Tiger got intercepted by Elin. That resulted in one of America’s shortest getaways, a battered and toothless Tiger sprawled semi conscious across the front lane, and Elin trying to explain to CHP’s why she was holding a bloody golf club in her hand. Oh yeah and Tiger’s mother in law had a minor heart attack and had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital, after passing out in the bathroom.

After that Tiger’s world unraveled as slut after slut after slut came forward repeating the same story of pills, cheap sex in expensive hotels, and Tiger lying to Elin so he could keep on keeping on behind her back. Elin wound up looking almost as ridiculous as Sandra Bullock. So naturally the divorce talk started. Tiger’s worth upwards from 1 billion, and Elin was in line for a good chunk of that change.

For awhile it looked like they might patch it up. Tiger astonishingly persisted in playing golf – though now very badly. Elin released a statement that the divorce was on hold pending his performance in the Master’s tournament. Naturally he screwed that up, and the divorce was back on. The only question was how fast would they get it done.

Well word has come out to day that they have finally got it done, and even now the ink is drying on the divorce papers. Reports have Elin cashing in to the tune of 100 mill to 750 mill. Meanwhile Tiger’s income has dropped by as much as 100 mill. He lost 35 mill in endorsements, plus the rest in anticipates tournament winnings. There’s just no such thing as safe sex.