More Trouble for Jessica Simpson

https://i1.wp.com/cdn.idontlikeyouinthatway.com//pictures/20110211/Jessica%20Simpson%20Fat/spl230559_001-banner.jpgJessica Simpson’s life has had it’s ups & downs. She was the third most popular teen singer in America back in the Britney SpearsChristine Aguilera period. She came back from obscurity by marrying Nick Lachey and participating in a reality TV series with him. Then she went rogue after getting her Dukes of Hazard part. Going rogue meant that while Nick was doing the talk radio rounds insisting that the Newlyweds were still fine, she was holed up in some hotel room getting it on – allegedly – with her costar Johnny Knoxville. That rumor was denied, even though folks on the scene were saying that Knoxville’s partner was showing up on set and having a fit about the sleeping arrangements. Apparently Jessica requested the room next to Knoxville. At least she didn’t get Knoxed up or anything, but her marriage went kaput.

ride ‘er, Cowboy!

When her marriage went kaput her career went with it. Jess & Nick were kind of a package deal, and she screwed that up. The public wasn’t happy about her loose ways, so she lost a lot of sympathy. What she lost in sympathy she made up in Tony Romo. That was another sad story, as Dallas Cowboys fans blamed the QB’s lackluster performance on The Simpson Effect. Some of the coaching staff even considered having Jess banned from games, after opposing fans started showing up to games wearing Jessica Simpson masks in an attempt to freak out Romo. Cowboys management needn’t have worried too much. The relationship ran it’s inevitable course. After tony got pissed with Jess’s constant drinking her dumped her ass in an IHOP parking lot, deep in the middle of Texas and miles from nowhere. A weepy hysterical Simpson then had to arrange for some one to pick her up, and wait several hours bawling in the parking lot.

flat as a pancake on the road to romance

No one knows whether the International House of Pancakes had anything to do with what followed, but Jessica put on a ton of weight. She showed up for some performance – it might have been a chilly cook off country music festival sponsored by KISS FM Florida – wearing mom jeans and looking like silly putty. Now she was not as big as everyone made out, but the jeans did nothing to camouflage her condition. So everyone was talking about how fat she’d got (no one assumed that she was pregnant). She made the cover of some national magazine, sharing it with Pres Obama. The Pres was even obliged to take time away from his Superbowl picks to comment on that during a TV interview!

at least Rahm Emmanuel isn’t writing his material anymore

That Obama and his one liners! I’m sure he resented having time taken away from important issues, like who he picked to win. As for Jessica, she may have had some bad experiences with Mr. Sunday, but she was willing to give athletes another chance. That’s where Eric Johnson came in.

when you’ve got no other offers, you a free agent

Eric was not only an athlete, but another football player – a free agent in the NFL. They started dating in May 2010. So they were an time, and were seen all over the place getting oozy cozy with each other in their respective end zones. One thing lead to another and soon enough an engagement was announced. So it looked like things were finally looking up for Jessica.

weighty affairs & heavy issues

Jessie’s bad karma must not be totally played out yet, because the poor girl has hit another snag on the road to happiness, again. Seems that Mr Johnson has some issues he wants set straight before they tie the knot. The issue, of course, is Jessie’s weight. Seems that Jess never totally took it off. Maybe sobriety didn’t agree with her; and once the nausea finally went away she might have rediscovered her appetite, and then decided to replace one addiction with another, more fattening one. Eric – allegedly a vegan (sure his an NFL player?) has now insisted that Jessie has got to drop some serious weight before they can take it to the next level.

another breakthrough from the National Enquirer!

According to the National Enquirer – who did some fine work wrecking John Edwards life (To which many will respond “So what?“. When your main claim to fame is two timing your dying wife and using her illness to get sympathy support for your presidential bid, you’re not gonna be on many folks Christmas card lists.) Eric has a big beef over the weight problem. Jess is 5′ 3” and hitting the 150 pound mark. She can’t stop eating, especially anything fried; which she likes to knock back with Margaritas. Eric is in top form, and thinks that Simpson should be putting in the same effort. So he laid down an ultimatum – “Diet or we’re done!

never says ‘diet’

Now they’ve been hooked up for months, so you’d think things would be fairly stable. However the pair have been having brutal fights recently. According to the NE the rows are about Simpson’s weight. They even maintain that it was during one of their most recent slag offs that Johnson laid down the ultimatum. That still leaves the question of “why bring it up now?

Jess was becoming a handful in more ways than two?

My theory – weight isn’t the real issue. According to the grape vine, Jessica can be a pill one on one. Romo was so glad to be rid of her that he had her banned from his premises after their bust up, and even left word with security to make sure she didn’t get past the gate. Now the weight wasn’t an issue before, but Johnson has gotten to know Jessica a little better now. Some times that doesn’t work out for her. So maybe this whole weight thing is a big excuse. Perhaps the fellow is desperately looking for an out. The thing is that some guys dig big chicks; but no one likes a handful!

https://i0.wp.com/fc04.deviantart.net/fs15/f/2007/102/0/e/Wieringo__s_Big_Wonder_Woman_by_ShinobiXXX.jpg

PS That Obama video, featured above, was not actually what the president said at the time – but something rigged up by Tea Baggers working with FOX News. You know what they’re like!

https://i1.wp.com/www.wonderwomanmuseum.com/WWDay3/KeithTucker_WWD08b.jpg

wondertrash

Olberman gets a new job, Olivia Wilde seperates, Zuckerberg restrains stalker

So what’s the deal on Zuckerberg? Is this another pissed off business partner? Hard to imagine that this is a romantic fixation.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

Brad Pitt Picks Angelina’s Outfits

wondertrash

John Paul Getty 3 Dead

https://i2.wp.com/cache3.asset-cache.net/xc/2476718.jpgThe name Getty has been in and out of the media for years. It was most recently in the media when television actor Balthazar Getty started seeing Sienna Miller behind his wife’s back. Sienna has a habit of doing that sort of thing. It’s how she’s slept herself into and then out of a major motion picture career. Anyway bats was well known apart from his TV work and risking catching social diseases with Sienna. He was the great grandson of legendary oil tycoon J Paul Getty. His grandfather was JP 2, and his father was John Paul Getty 3 – that Getty.

John Paul Getty 3’s life was lived in the public eye since the day he was born – Nov 4 1956. He made an immedaite impession on his grandfather who described him as a “a bright, red-haired little rascal… most cheerful and cute“, but things would go down hill from there. A childhood spent in Rome – where his father headed a division of the family business – didn’t do much for the lad. It seemed to lead him down the wrong. It was in Rome, in 1964, that hias father divorced his mother – Gail Harris, and took up with Talitha Pol, step grand daughter to Augustus John (artist).

JP3 never got it together after that. He drifted into a Bohemian lifestyle of booze, drugs and bad company. He supported himself painting and nude modeling. He also got himself kidnapped. In 1973, when he was 16, JP3 was taken from his apartment at 3 AM by men who would later demand a ransom for the oil heir’s release. That’s were things got really sticky.

J Paul 1 – balked at paying the 3 million dollar ransom. His official story was that he had 14 grand kids, and if he paid off on this, he’d have 14 kid napped grandchildren. Now that sounds more tough than fair. People who knew the old man observed that he also balked at paying tips on meals. He once left his pocket change on the table after being nagged about it by a dinner companion. That came to the princely sum of under $1.

The kid nappers weren’t to be as easily handled as service personnel. Employees of Italian newspaper Il Messagero received a package containing human hair and a decaying ear. The note claimed that the ear belonged to Getty, and if they weren’t paid promptly, more odds and ends would be arriving by post. The old man reconsidered and decided to pay off the ransom. However in typical Getty style he made the payment in the form of a loan to his son, at 4% interest!

The payoff worked and Getty 3 was released. He showed up on the road between Rome and Naples wearing a blanket and covered in blood. He was also malnourished, badly infected, and generally in desperate shape. He’d gotten infected after the ear had come off, and his captors had tried to keep him alive with massive doses of penicillin. Not only did it not cure the infection, but triggered an allergy. His captors had also used alcohol, perhaps to prevent him from cracking up; and he developed an addiction to it.

Thew hole ordeal further deepened rifts within the Getty clan. While JP3 went off to a clinic and then skiing – to recover, his mother spiraled into a depression. When JP3 phoned his grand father – to thank him for paying off, the old man refused to accept the call (maybe it was collect?). With mom in bad shape and C Monty Burns giving hm the silent treatment, JP3 drifted into a deeper relationship with his girlfriend 24 year old actress Martine Zacher. She was 6 years senior to the 18 year old, and also 5 months pregnant by the time the married. The ceremony was something to behold: the bride wore black and Getty was so messed up that the official performing the ceremony questioned whether or not Getty actually knew what was going on. Incidentally the child Zacher was 5 months pregnant with at the time was Balthazar Getty.

BY the time the 70’s rolled ’round JP3 was in bad shape. he was now drug addicted, paranoid, and unable to sleep. If he was expecting family support then he would be disappointed again. In 1976 the old man died and left a $4 billion fortune. JP3,a nd his father, were cut out in the will. however a dozen of JP1’s female friends – who provided care and support for the old geezer in his declining years – were handsomely rewarded. However JP3 was a beneficiary of the Sarah C Getty Trust (trust funds are what the uber rich set up when they finally figure out that too much money will fuck up their kids). It was fortunate for Getty – if anything in his life could be called fortunate – that he had the family trust to fall back on; since his health was about to take a major crash!

In 77 Getty underwent surgery to repair the damage from his ear amputation. That wasn’t the last of his health problems. His body was in rough shape from alcohol & drug abuse, the lad was found of herion and cocaine, in addition to brandy. So in 81 he had a major liver failure. That triggered a stroke, which lead to 6 weeks in coma. When he awoke, he was blind, mute, and paralyzed. It was beginning to look like the only thing he’d inherited from his grandfather was all the trouble that money could buy (which is often plenty!).

Getty showed that he’d inherited something else from the old man – will power. Getty submitted to a cruel therapy & rehabilitation regime, which involved daily painful physio. He made some measure of recovery and by the late 80’s was able to get out an about again. In fact he was sometimes seen at the movies, and other social events. he even made one foray back onto the slopes. his health was that fully recovered though, and he could only ski while strapped into a metal frame.

Health was to remain the issue through out the remainder of his life. His home had been converted into something his friend Timothy Leary described as a high tech hospital ward. Behind the wall panels in Getty’s home were the most advanced medical equipment available at the time, just in case they ever came in handy. Apparently with the push of a button walls would flip, and the tech would emerge, like a scene from a James Bond film. Some of the lifestyle accouterments concealed behind the oak paneling included lasers, X-ray machines and even a private blood bank.

Despite his efforts JP3 never did escape the wheel chair. That left him mostly confined to his family estate in Buckinghamshire, Chilterns. The family home, named Wormsley, was on 3000 acres, and had been designed like a theme park version of an aristocratic manor home. There was a cricket pitch, mock castle, towers, and everything except a moat and draw bridge. It also contained one of the best collections of rare books. On a practical note it had been completely wheel chair adapted. It was on the Wormley estate that John Paul Getty 3 died Tuesday. He was 54.

wondertrash