American Dad

BIlly Ray Cyrus – “Hannah Montana ruined my life”

Billy Ray Cyrus is no stranger to the lime light. About 10 years ago he was a one hit wonder with his Achy Breaky Heart, his Kentucky fried good looks, and his trade mark mullet. Billy Ray’s career never recovered from his Achy Breaky Heart. That was to be his one time big hit and he kinda faded into obscurity after that. That is until he became a proud pappy to Disney wunderkin Miley Cyrus.

Miley is Billy R’s daughter. She was still a teenager when she was Disney’s Hannah Montana. The showed featured Cyrus as Montana – a teenybopper rock star with a Justin Bieber like career. The show was a hit both among teenage girls and creepy middle aged men. So Miley became a bona fide star. That meant Billy Ray got to be a household name again.

“G-String Circus”

It seemed like Billy appreciated his unlikely return to the lime light. He knew how fast it could slip away. So he not only put himself out there again, but encouraged Miley to make the most of it. He even began grooming her for her post Disney Teen career by sexing up in image in preparation for the inevitable shift into adulthood – it’s never too soon to start. He released some pictures of her on the net in more mature situations – wet t shirt in shower. He encouraged her to pose nude in Vanity Fair. Plus he liked to tell interviewers about her stripper pole that he had installed int he rec room. He described that as good clean family fun. Now that last bit would come off tacky to anyone even if their last name was Palin!

Billy Ray ain’t the first parent to get carried away while living vicariously through their kids. He won’t be the only one to have had some second thoughts along the way. In fact Billy Ray has admitted to some regrets about his daughter’s career only recently, in a GQ Magazine interview. During the course of the GQ chat Billy admits that he blames the whole Hannah Montana thing for the break up of his marriage. Then he goes on to claim that he’s been made the fall guy for his daughter. Said Billy:

“Every time the train went off the track … her people, or as they say in today’s news, her handlers, every time they’d put [the blame on] me … I took it because I’m her daddy … OK, nail me to the cross,” he told GQ.

Billy also fears that there are people around his daughter who are leading her down the wrong track – though he didn’t come right out and say anything about starwhackers. This is what he did say:

“I’m scared for her,” he said. “She’s got a lot of people around her that’s putting her in a great deal of danger. I want to get her sheltered from the storm.”

Now this sudden flood of paternal concern might have been more convincing if it had happened before Miley turned 18. Saying things like this after you loose legal custodianship over your daughter’s earnings will only make people question your motives. Like maybe you’re getting cut out of the action and want back in. So you start dropping a lot of hints and making innuendo that start adding up to “conservatorship“. That would be convenient. Especially if you don’t think of it as hijacking some one else’s life, but more like a Patriot Act for your family (coming soon to American Dad!).

Though Miley is hardly Jessica SimpsonChristina AqueliraBritney Spears fucked up, she’s had her moments. Of course many of those moments were arranged by Billy Ray – but let’s not get side tracked. The point is that this is the age of intervention. That means there’s usually a good excuse to jump into some one else’s life and start meddling. Why let the fact that they’re an adult and legally entitled to live their own life stop you?

Besides why wait and take the chance that your daughter could go Britney when you could get a head start on being Jamie Spears right now? Of course the difference is that Jaime Spears didn’t maneuver his way into his daughter’s life via the media. He stepped in during an emergency, reluctantly. He remains involved at eh request of both Ms Spears and her attorneys. Recruiting support for some kind of family ambush via TMZ & the Internet is really more of a Michael Lohan type move.