Anne Hathaway has a MK Ultra Episode!

Anne is not awake and not aware of the trip!

When Anne Hathaway started rapping on Conan O Brien recently many viewers asked themselves, and each other “What the fuck is wrong with her?” We expect this sort of thing from Joaquin Phoenix, or even Charlie Sheen. Anne seemed too down to earth and together for publicly flip out. Yet she had a fit of bizarre behavior on late night television. The reason for this is that, sadly, Anne is a very sick young lady.

What the fuck is wrong with Anne goes back to a top secret government project that began shortly after World War 2 called MK Ultra. After the war dozens of Nazi scientists were brought to America under the controversial Project Paperclip. Some of these people were legitimate scientists, like Werner von Braun, who helped the USA prepared for eventual alien invasion. Many were mad misfit scientists and anti social nuisances. Their only specialty was brain washing and mind control, which they had developed as a means of seducing women.

Normally there would’ve been no use for these nuts in a sane society. However the cold war was just heating up. That meant society was getting less sane. The CIA figured that these dangerous nuts and their brainwashing might somehow possibly come in handy. So they took these renegade Nazis under their wing, gave them new identities and secret laboratories, then funded them for all sorts of bizarre experiments in mind control. They worked on everything from reverse intoxication to convincing cocktail waitresses that they were giant bunnies!

During the course of their research, these scientists discovered that normal people could be programmed for almost anything through a combination of drugs, nursery rhymes, and mind bending programming. For instance an average house wife given large doses of hallucinogens while repeating “hickory dickory dock” and writing the Gettysburg Address backwards, could eventually be trained to strip down and reassemble and automatic riffle upon hearing a trigger phrase. Even if she normally couldn’t boil a 3 minute egg! (In fact many housewives lost the ability to boil eggs after participating in government experiments – though they did become whizzes with fire arms! Some also forgot how to do up bras, and mistaking them for military incendiaries, & began burning them. Addled by their intelligence brainwashing they believed they were armed with bra bombs – code named “booby traps” – and fighting in a liberation war that had been originally planned for Cuba back in the John F Kennedy administration.)

The tactical advantages of unleashing a herd of crazy brain addled housewives on a nation’s enemies is obvious! However MK Ultra mind programming had some side effects. For instance subjects’ minds started developing split personalities. In some cases test subjects developed hundreds of split personalities, or “alters”. If the programming was taken too far it might drive subjects completely batty, and make them unpredictable. The same advanced mind control techniques that could teach an ordinary house wife to assemble an assault rifle and forget how to boil an egg, might cause a burly green beret to don a frilly dress and start singing “I’m a lumber jack and I’m ok”. A battalion of harden soldiers upon hearing their trigger phrase might suddenly drop their arms and turn Klinger in the face of the enemy. So the MK Ultra project got sidelined.

MK Ultra was sidelined but not dropped. A special genius think tank at the Rand Corp – which is not actually a corporation, no more than the Federal Reserve is a part of the government – believed that other uses could be made of it. They felt that mind control might have some cultural usages. The idea being that if a nation’s celebrities could be mind controlled then they could be used to support government agendas, or at least the economy by being obedient product spokespersons. To that end they sponsored Illuminati shill Dr Timothy Leary to develop LSD. They then fed it to the Beatles, aster first luring them on to the Ed Sullivan Show. When Rand and the CIA successfully created the counter culture, they new the experiment was a success!

Over the years more and more celebrities have been enrolled into MK Ultra, under Project Monarch and Bluebird. This was done by making many designers drugs available to Hollywood party animals. Celebs were also encouraged to take analysis therapy and personal growth courses at sites such as the Esalon Institute, for further advanced programming. Celebs were indoctrinated into New Age thinking with it’s political overtones, and to promote these ideas to the public. Though the celebs became popular and successful spokespersons, many did go mad as hatters!

Not only did many celebrities go mad, but they also developed the trade mark Monarch Programming multiple personality disorder. At the outset a celebrity victim of government starwhackers might start acting mildly retarded. Then they might become unsure of who they are. A sign of this is when an actor begins saying that they don’t know where their images ends and they being, or that their fans don’t really know them.

This can progress into full blown MPD. The celeb victim will actually begin to believe that they are other people, in addition to themselves. At first this was covered up with the same new age beliefs the celebs were spouting. When Shirley Maclaine’s mind shattered into dozens of multiple personalities the public was told that Shirley had ‘gone religious’ and these were her “previous incarnations”. After repeated massive doses of LSD and some working over with an electric cattle prod Shirley was eventually persuaded to play along with the story, and to assemble an automatic assault riffle in 30 secs. She still has trouble boiling eggs.

More recent cases have been harder to cover. When Garth Brookes alter Chris Gaines emerged his handlers were unsure what to do with him. Fortunately his career was nearly over by then, so it wasn’t an issue. More cases would arise. When Anne Heche claimed she was an alien called Celestia who could bring love to planet Earth through public nudity, the usual scape goat of “drugs” was blamed, instead of the severe government brain washing she had been subjected to under the guise of psycho analysis. By the time Beyonce became Sasha Fierce – an alter with advanced infiltration & combat training following a Tank Girl script – people assumed celebrities were basically nuts. So no one paid attention. Incidentally some professional therapists have tried offering ‘celebrity deprogramming’ but there was a surprising lack of demand for their services! Their few clients were former child stars and looking for ‘celebrity reprogramming’.

That brings us to the ordinarily mild mannered and down to earth Anne Hathaway. Anne was originally programmed by the government to infiltrate hip hop as a rapper groupie. So she got the full programming treatment: she was given massive doses of mescaline and ecstasy while being forced to make up rhymes to random phrases while holding a handful of marbles in her mouth. If she failed to make the rhyme poor Anne was shocked with the MK Ultra teaching tool of choice – an electric cattle prod.

Fortunately for Anne the Illuminati found other uses for her. She proved to be a pretty good actress so she got cast in a number of films with mildly brain washing related themes, like Ella Enchanted and The Devil Wears Prada. However some of the side effects from her original brainwashing persists. For instance Anne loves out law men. Her first boyfriend was the guy who cheated the Pope. He’s now finishing up a 3 year federal jail sentence. Her current boyfriend was accused of ripping of a $15 000 painting after a business dispute with a NYC restauranteur. She should know better but Annie repeats her mistakes because she just can’t help it!

Another side effect is that Anne will occasionally break out into rap. No one can be quite sure when this will happen, but the combination of bright lights and a small electrical shock, like carpet static, combined with a trigger phrase, might do it. Her recent out burst might have been a “MK Ultra” episode, and set off by Conan saying something as innocent as “yo mama”, “ho”, “jack dat shit, bitch”, or even “booty!” If Anne had received a mild carpet shock at the time, then the combo of electricity, trigger phrase, and bright studio lighting might have set her off. At that point Anne was no longer Anne. Her dormant gansta girl alter would’ve taken over.

Incidentally this is also why Anne has that problem with occasionally hitting people – like that stunt man on the Batman movie, or Kate Hudson on The Bride Wars. To make her cover authentic Anne was also programmed with advanced street fighting techniques. Advanced means that she can rip you a new corn shoot! So if she’s in gansta mode and she gets dissed, she can switch from busting a rhyme to busting a head! Anne’s Conan performance might have been a bit startling, but it could’ve been worse. Conan may never know how close he came to a low down, down town beat down at the hands of “Smack Ass Annie H”aka “Queen Katt“!

PS The intro pic showed the three stages of truth. Of course they forgot the forth stage – where truth become orthodoxy and then is enforced by law on everyone else. There’s no point in restating the obvious – except for humorous effect that is! Sorry Charlie – throwing garbage is not a compliment, only a vindication!


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