Oscar News – Jennifer Lawrence, Central Intelligence Agency, Bradley Coo…

& in other news there are developments in Lindsay Lohan’s Pacific Coast Highway crash. TMZ is reporting that Lindsay’s breath smelled of alcohol after the crash. Also a bottle of alcohol was found near the Limday’s Porsche. TMZ then questions why no field soberitety test was performed. Well for oner thing at that time police didn’t beleive that Lindsay was the driver. Her assistant had already copped to it. So whether Lindsay was drinking or not was irtrelevant. They had no grounds to perform a FST on a passenger. Of course later the assistant recanted, and admitted that he was covering fore Lindz, who was actually driving. By that time it’s to late to determine intoxication!

Also Lindz has been offered a new deal. The Santa Monica City Attorney would like Lindsay to spent 60 days in a rehab facility. They would also like her to attend some AA meeting, and do some community service work. Now the community service will have to be closely supervised. However she can perform the work in NYC, instead of Santa Monica.  The only problem now is the LA City Attorney. She’s still on the hook in LA over that alleged jewelry theft. There’s a probation violation in that, and has been some talk about jail time.

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Rihanna and Chris Brown Engaged? Harry Styles Talks Taylor Swift! Ian So…

Neal Schon’s ex is pissed off!

Michaele Salahi (née Michelle Ann “Missy” Holt) lives an interesting life. She was a Real Housewife of DC back when she was with Tareq Salahi. So she was on TV in one of those ‘Shrew Shows‘.  She even got to visit the White House with her husband back in 2009 during Barack Obama’s 1st term. Since they weren’t actually invited they were gate crashers at the White House. That made the incident even more interesting. Especially since people were waiting to see whether the Salahi’s might get arrested over this. Sending two reality TV stars behind bars is a small step but one in the right direction!

Things stayed interesting of the Salahis. On Sept 16 2011 Michaele phoned her husband Tareq to tell him that she was on her way to visit her mother. When she didn’t arrive Tareq became concerned and called the police. He reported it as a potential kidnapping. The police looked into it and found that Michaele had not been kidnapped. She went of her own free will with former Journey guitarist Neal Schon. She gave Tareq the cover story because she didn’t want him to know where she really was. The truth would be inconvenient and embarrassing. It also lead to an eventual divorce from Tareq.

Michaele Salahi’s ongoing relationship with Neal Schon continues to be embarrassing. Not that they haven’t made it legit. Schon announced his engagement to Salahi back in Oct 14 2012. That was onstage during a benefit concert in Baltimore, Md. He also offered her a 11.42 carat diamond that’s supposedly worth a cool 1 million dollars!. That leads to the embarrassing part. You see before Salahi came into his life he was with ex wife Amber Kozon. When they split he didn’t just leave her, he left her in debt.

According to Kozon in a US Mag article she’s so broke that she’s had to put her $500 000 home up for sale. On face book she asked her friends to pray for a quick sale. Her mom Judy is pissed about the situation too. As disgruntle folk often do she took to her blog about, to complain about it.

In what she described as a ‘Just when I thought it was safe…‘ post, and which has since removed, Judy Kozon described her ex son in law as a sperm donor with and inadequate pay check. She also described Salahi as a no talent celebrity wannabe. The strong language is probably why the post got pulled down later. Kozon says  that “since some people have been making wild assumptions, and spinning it in a way that I never intended,”. There was more to the post than name calling though. There were some specific complaints.

For instance Kozon wrote “This time he will cause his 2 little girls to lose their home. He knows this, but he just doesn’t care,” she wrote. “As I write this, his lying has put his ex in a situation where she literally has no money for food, gas for the car, bills, nothing“.

Schon and Salahi are still upbeat about the situation. Says Schon “We are both excited and in love,” Schon told Us Weekly. “We’re happy that we shared with all who were there last night — it was emotional, moving and loving. I’m glad Michaele’s mother and family were there. Once in a lifetime!”    

In other news The Academy Awards have announced their official consolation prize. The gift bag is an important part of the Oscar package for at least 2 reasons: 1. you can judge the importance of an event by the quality of the stuff they give away, and 2. not winning is anti climactic and the right pick me up can soften the funk. So you need something that will make people feel like it weas an honour just to be nominated!

This year it’s a $45 000 swag bag including ‘circus lessons‘ for celeb kids, a trip to somewhere or another, condoms, and also, I believe, premium vodka. Now $45 000 is a nice door prize but lets face it, there’s no substitute for an Oscar. Besides $45 000 wouldn’t cover the cost of the plastic surgery some of the starts are gonna have for the event. Still it’s better than the previous gist choice of ‘novelty cats‘ with glowing eyes.

 
Now it would’ve been just eerie to see actors leaving the festivities and sullenly waving those things at waiting paparazzi. It would be like a Hello Kitty rave.

wondertrash

Richard Corliss helps Time Mag pick 2012 Oscar Winners

It’s awards season and the big enchilada of awards galas are The Academy Awards, or the Oscars if you wanna risk being familiar to the point of possible disrespect. These award shows are taken very seriously by people in the entertainment industry and dependent media. The Oscars are so big that they make other awards seem like mere ‘rose bowls‘ compared to the Academy Award Superbowl. Let’s put it this way, if the AA’s were a super heroine then they’d be Wonder Woman in a really great designer dress and some slightly daring shoes!  So there’s lots of interest in who’s gonna be hosting – Seth MacFarlane, and who’s gonna be presenting – current list already posted on this site, and perhaps most importantly who’s gonna win.

With that in mind TIME Magazine has produced the following short video in which critic Richard Corliss picks his 2013 winners.

I’m sure that Corliss is a fine film critic, however I want to hear what that German octopus predicts. You remember that it’s the one that correctly picks the World Cup winners. Then again Wondretrash has always been more gossip than glam.

wondertrash

Soledad O Brien out at CNN

If you’re a regular reader of Wondertrash then you’ve got too much time on your hands and some lousy reading habits then you know that even though an empowered woman maybe capable of many things she’s still no match for the big corporation. Allstate did what creepy and cartoonish super creeps couldn’t when they boots spokes-toon Erin Eusance out of her TV ad spots. Even though Wonder Woman is the queen of the super fems she still hasn’t gotten so much as an animated TV cartoon, though there are reoccurring talks about movies and TV Series. So what chance does an intrepid girl reporter have?

A little while ago it was reported that Soledad OBrien was in some career jeopardy over @ CNN. That’s because there was a recent management change up at the top. Jeff Zucker is the new boss. He brought in a few of his own people like Chris Cuomo. Menahwile some familiar faces had their heads on the chopping block.

 “The deal to move Erin to the morning alongside Chris Cuomo is basically done. Soledad had been told she’d get a prime-time slot, but that hasn’t yet happened, and now she is telling friends she is likely to leave.

Soledad was on the chop list. For one thing it had been announced that Erin Burnett was getting O Brien’s morning spot. So that left Soledad at loose ends. Now she still had some time left on her contract. So that raised the question about what would happen to her. CNN had three options: they could buy her out, send her on “special assignments”, or keep her on at an equal or superior level. Now according to Soledad No 3 was a real option, & CNN had promised her a plum prime time position that didn’t materialize. So Soledad has decided to say so long.

“I’m fairly confident that I’m not going to be cooking salmon and doing fashion shows on CNN,”

Soledad’s decision to leave is understandable – at least to an unnamed source to NYPost’s Page 6. The source commented that  “Soledad is a big star, and would only stay for the right show. There’s word there will be a flurry of announcements at CNN very soon, including Erin’s move to the morning.” Soledad herself has commented in a recent interview that she didn’t see herself staying on at CNN with their new lighter format of fashion shows and early morning salmon cooking. “Fluffington Post” is not how she defines herself. Or as the source tells Page 6 –  “Soledad is talented at producing in-depth, serious pieces of journalism, and is a tough interviewer. That doesn’t seem to fit the direction the network is going.

wondertrash

Pamela Anderson’s Tiny Shorts!

Pam Anderson got some attention lately. She did this by showing up in public wearing some teeny tiny short shorts. At least  I think she was wearing shorts. They were so small that if you blinked you’d miss them. Not that anyone would blink while they’re looking at Pammy.

You see there are other ways to get noticed besides posting NSFW personal pics on twitter! No marriages were ruined, no careers were ended, and everyone enjoyed the view! So call it good wholesome fun Baywatch style!

Blogging 101! If you wanna draw some traffic then start with something everyone will be interested in, like Pamela Anderson’s skimpy shorts. Then move onto the other stuff after. That’s called pyramiding.

Labouef’s beef

As for the other stuff today it involves Shia Labouef. Seems like just a few short years ago he and his Transformers costar Megan Fox were the biggest young stars in Hollywood. He’d beaten out a legendary racehorse for the cover of Vanity Fair. He also had Stephen Spielberg in his corner. Now to clarify Shia didn’t actually beat out the horse. The cover was supposed to be decided by a readers’ pole and the readers picked the horse. Shia got the cover anyway. Then things started coming apart.

tales out of school

For one thing he criticized his mentor Stephen Spielberg over Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull. Basically he made some comments about the movie  not being as good as the others and apologized to his fans for being unable to save the flick. That was beyond the Megan Fox level of tactlessness. Then he did worse. He said that he and co star Harrison Ford had been talking about Crystal Skull and Ford agreed with him. That was worse than indiscreet, it was telling tales out of school. Harrison responded by calling Labouef and idiot with a big mouth, or words to that effect. Ford owes Spielberg a lot, so he was understandably defensive about this breech of confidence. So SL pissed off both his mentor Spielberg, and major motion picture star Ford.  Labouef ain’t worked much since. Neither has Ford either, but he’s had a good career. Sow hat has Labouef been doing lately? Not winning friends and influencing people!

Broadway bye bye

Shia Labouuef was working on Broadway until recently. Broadway used to be the big deal in American drama back when Hollywood was transitioning into the talkies. Brilliant playwrights like Arther Miller penned works performed by gifted actors like Marlon Brando. Braodway was where you went to become a real actor before you sold out and made a killing in Tinseltown. However as Hollywood got bigger Broadway got smaller. Marque names moved to California, and the edgy and prestigious stuff moved off Broadway. Soon it was a venue for musicals.

Sienna young & beautiful

Now it’s where careers go to die. Sienna Miller did a stint on BW shortly after her fall from grace. She was  a big deal movie star at the time, except in Philadelphia. Then she did that Robin Hood movie with Russell Crowe. No one ever did get to see Sienna as Maid Marion cause she got mysteriously canned off of that. Now Sienna made no official statements but soon rumours got circulated that she was fired for looking too good. Some sources said that Russ was fat and out of shape. That had made him concerned about doing love scenes with young & beautiful Sienna. Russ was afraid it would look ridiculous, so the sources said.

Russ has been around

Well quick as a wink some stills got released. They showed Crowe looking better than he had since Gladiator. So there’s that story down the drain. Next rumour was that Russ was trying to get his good friend Ridley Scott replaced as director. Probably not true since successful actors depend on the important working relationships that the develop with A List directors. That’s how you keep working. That’s why Ford flipped when Labouef opnned his mouth. Crowe’s been around long enough to know so it’s unlikely he would’ve pulled that move.

Actors in trouble, Broadway, and Canadian TV

No one is exactly sure what happened. Some conspiracy theorist thing that Sienna herself released these stories to save face after getting the sack. Some more colourful version speculate about Sienna coming on to Crowe on the set and Crowe getting her fired over it. Sienna has a reputation for getting friendly with helpful, or at least useful, men and flirting with Crowe would fit that pattern. At the time Crowe was still married and took pains to keep his wife happy. When Crowe went ballistic in that New York hotel and heaved a phone at the desk clerk it was wife related. Missus had Crowe oin a curfew. he had to phone her every night at precisely 11 PM New Zealand time. The hotel room phone didn’t work and Crowe went to the front dest to use their phone. Things got confused and Crowe got upset. The desk clerk wound up doing either Leno or Letterman, while Crowe wound up on George Street, St John’s NL, making friends with Alan Doyle of Great Big Sea. If you’ve ever been to Newfoundland then you know that George Street is a notorious drinking spot with multiple bars in each building. People go there to hit rock bottom. The point being that Crowe’s marriage was a sore spot so if Sienna tried some tricks who knows how that went down. Anyway an A List actor and director had been dragged in to things. Sienna’s next role was the Baroness (Sienna said it was a a pleasure to do a film that audiences were actually interested in seeing for change. I’m not sure such comments helped her cause) in GI Joe. Then she went on to Broadway – never to be seen again. Crowe has still kept the friends he made and occasionally appears on Canadian TV shows set in NL (Republic of Doyle). No word on the rumours that Miller is lobbying for the role of Wonder Woman in the CW Amazon series (wink).

So that brings us back to Shia. He’s found his way to Broadway too. He’s currently working with tabloid fireball Alex Baldwin. We heard about Alex lately when he allegedly made some inappropriate comments. 2 tab reporters cornered him coming off of University Place in NYC, to ask him how his wife Hilaria Thomas’ law suit was coming. When Alec married Hilaria he bragged that he was gonna make her the 1st billionaire yoga teacher. She’s been doing pretty good too. She’s been teaching to packed classes almost every day. That’s where the law suit got started. When a student had to perform a headstand in an overcrowded classroom he wound up falling through a nearby window and slashing his leg in 5 places. Since the student is also a HuffPo blogger it was even worse – publicity! The guy figured that Thomas was liable for an unreasonably unsafe environment and so lawyers got involved.

Alec didn’t take it as a friendly question. So he got sharp with the reporters who posed him the question. According to the reporters he sued some negative and racists terms. That’s a serious allegation since it can kill a celeb’s career; just like Dr Laura Schlesinger, Michael Kramer Richards, Don Imus, and in days of yore personalities like Jimmy the Greek. Had those accusations stuck then Baldwin would’ve been out of a job, and taking up residence in a monastery somewhere in southern Tibet. Baldwin has a short fuse so accusing him of saying the wrong thing is gonna be believable. Fortunately for Alec in this case the whole incident was recorded and there were no racist comments made. So he gets a clean bill of health.

So I guess that Alec ain’t in the best state of mind these days. So when he and Shia met on Broadway, and not doing Indiana Jones the Musical (It’s actually called Orphan – but you know Indiana Jones the Musical is coming), sparks flew. It appears that Labouef has walked out on the production. Spokesperson say he won’t be returning either. Some how a mix up with Baldwin was involved in this. Shia started posting references to some Baldwin emails on his Twitter account. Stuff like

“A man can tell you he was wrong.That he did wrong. That he planned to. He can tell you when he is lost. He can apologise, even if sometimes it’s just to put an end to the bickering.”

This prompted Baldwin’s cryptic response –

“Alec, Im sorry for my part in this dis-agreeable situation”.

Then the producer got into it. After describing Labouef as one hell of an actor he went on to admit that he should’ve known that Labouef and Baldwin would never ever get along. He then comments –

“This one will haunt me. You tried to warn me…I didn’t get it”. 

So what are we to make of this? It’s hard to say for sure but if Indiana Jones the Musical ever does get made don’t look for Shia Labouef to appear in it. That goes double if Stephen Spielberg, Harrison Ford, or Alec Baldwin are involved in it! In the meantime that young man is gonna have to make himself some new superintends!

wondertrash

Brit writer slams Middleton

Kate Middleton is young, pretty, personable, fashionable, a duchess, practically a princess, and will one day be queen presumably. Whether or not that’s a winning combination it is a dainty dish to set before a king. However not everyone is impressed. People like Hilary Mantel.

Hilary Mantel is a writer & two time winner of the Man Booker Prize. She won those (the 1st woman to do so)  for her fictionalized portrayals of Henry 8th’s court. So that makes her if not an expert than at least some kind of authority on royalty, history, royal women,  writing books, and or making memorable press statements. She’s recently demonstrated her acumen in the last with some remarks about the aforementioned Kate Middleton.

Do the clothes make the woman?

According to Hilary Kate is a glorified coat hanger. Well that might be a bit harsh but Mantel has compared Middleton to a department store mannequin. What that means is that Kate is defined by her hair styles and clothes rather than by who she is and what she does. Personality is either secondary or a liability whose free expression must be repressed. At least that’s the gist of an answer she gave in response to the question “pick and famous person and then choose a book you’d like to give them“. Mantel picked out Duchess Kate, and then picked “Queen of Fashion: What Marie Antoinette Wore to the Revolution.” Now apart from the fact that the book sounds as big and exciting as a phone book, it’s also a kind of back handed commentary. Marie Antoinette was the “let them eat cake” Queen whose extravagances helped bring down the french monarchy! For instance when Antoinette & her husband were fleeing the French capitol the queen had several trunks of fashionable clothes sent along ahead of her, and took her hairdresser along for the ride. Kitchens sinks as we know them had not yet been invented.

Not that Mantel is a big critic of Antoinette. Antoinette is one of histories notorious strong women. So female historians are gonna be shy about put downs, even if the object of them ain’t Queen Boudicca. According to Mantel Marie Antoinette just couldn’t win. If she wore nice clothes then she was an extravagant bitch, but if she dressed simply then she was ruining the French fabric industry. So like most larger than life women who were too big for their day, she was in a damned if you do damned if you don’t double bind!

Mantel doesn’t let Kate Middleton off as easy though. For instance she says

“It’s not that I think we’re heading for a revolution. It’s rather that I saw Kate becoming a jointed doll on which certain rags are hung. In those days she was a shop-window mannequin, with no personality of her own, entirely defined by what she wore. These days she is a mother-to-be, and draped in another set of threadbare attributions. Once she gets over being sick, the press will find that she is radiant. They will find that this young woman’s life until now was nothing, her only point and purpose being to give birth.” 

So and in other words Kate is what everyone previously accuse Tom Cruise’s ex Katie Holmes of being –  a brainwashed bride bot trained to play a hi profile but insignificant public role. Her life is defined by pretty dresses & expensive jewelry in a hair spray fairy tale. However maybe it’s the whole institution of monarchy that’s to blame. It’s out of date so it’s role are stereotypical and irrelevant. It’s obsolete &  a limiting box to live in. Or as Mantel says

“Is monarchy a suitable institution for a grown-up nation? I don’t know. I have described how my own sympathies were activated and my simple ideas altered. The debate is not high on our agenda. We are happy to allow monarchy to be an entertainment, in the same way that we license strip joints and lap-dancing clubs…cheerful curiosity can easily become cruelty. It can easily become fatal. We don’t cut off the heads of royal ladies these days, but we do sacrifice them, and we did memorably drive one to destruction a scant generation ago. History makes fools of us, makes puppets of us, often enough.”

We are happy to allow the monarchy” sounds positively regal! So that’s a great joke if her tongue is in her cheek. Not everyone appreciates her comments.  They have attracted the attention of no less a personage than UK PM David Cameron. Cameron has called the comments extremely cuntycompletely misguided“, and went on to say that “What I’ve seen of Princess Kate at public events, at the Olympics and elsewhere is this is someone who’s bright, who’s engaging, who’s a fantastic ambassador for Britain.The Daily Mail backed Cameron up by calling the comments extremely cunty  “an astonishing and venomous attack on the Duchess of Cambridge.

So what are we to make of Mantel’s strong language? Slamming the Royals is more than one of the few ways to mildly shock contemporary Brits (“If my grandmother had heard anyone talk like that about the Royal Family! Makes me thankful she didn’t survive the 1970’s!”). It’s also a short cut to making a political point. That’s what made them a popular target since the days of Malcolm Muggeridge on the BBC. That’s why commentators like Mantel express their indifference int he strong possible terms, and pointedly compatriot them to entertainment diversion like lap dancing and strip teasing.

Now Mantel might have some kind of point when she says that Monarchy is an out dated patriarchal  institution. However why pick on Kate? Those criticism could be made about almost may successful young woman in today’s society – from Katy Perry to say Rihanna, not to mention Megan Fox. If you’re gonna get upset about women being reduced to eye candy, or having their social status determined by the men they’re connected to then you’d have to get upset with everyone up to and possibly including Hilary Clinton! Believe it or not even the most empowered of women can be judged on hair, make up, and even clothes. Poor Wonder Woman hasn’t gotten a break on her hot pants and bustiere for 70 years. So if she can’t please everyone, how can Duchess Kate?

wondertrash