Charlie Hunnam Finally Gives Reason for Dropping Out

wondertrash

Padma Lakshmi Flaunts Her Hot Bod

Crashing the tea party

Celebrity is strange. Take Gwyneth Paltrow. In some ways she’s an updated Grace Kelly. She’s blondes lender and finely featured. She married a rock singer and moved to London, instead of marrying a prince and going to Monaco. She’s American but has an international outlook, which people think is cool when it’s Angelina Jolie. She’s also a pretty good actress, though I must confess that Ironman is more my cup of tea than Shakespeare in Love. Yet some people don’t seem to like her.

Now the good folk at Vanity Fair would probably say that they have nothing personally against Paltrow. Noting except for that 20 000 word article they’re threatening to release sometime soon. That sent Gwynnie into a tizzy. Her reaction  caught the attention of gossip followers, who started wonder exactly what kind of shit Graydon Carter had on her.

Soon all kinds of rumours started circulating through the grape vine. Like there was some kind of falling out with Madonna. Maybe they quarreled about custody of personal trainer Tracy Anderson. Anderson was the one who described Madonna as a student by saying she was meek as a lamb. Madge and Trace don’t work together any more. So she is now Paltrow’s exclusively.

Others wondered whether Paltrow’s hasty retreat from London to more ‘pedestrian’ LA might have something do with the article. Paltrow made such a big deal out of European cultural superiority that no one can imagine her willing leaving the land of deep conversation to return to a world of Juicy Jeans. So what was that about? Did she start stalking the Queen or something?

Then all the stories about Paltrow’s fractured friendships started getting rehashed. Stories like she destroyed Winona Ryder by stealing the Shakespeare in Love script from off her coffee table. Or that she antagonized Kate Moss by telling her that if she worked out instead of dieting she wouldn’t look so horrible as she got old. Kate, who’s as volatile as Naomi Campbell, allegedly threw some french fries at her and roared “Oh eat some damned carbs!” That Kate is a real hoot once you get her going – just don’t wind her up too hard! Perhaps clothes horses aren’t Gwyneth’s favourite exotic species.

Like Sophia Loren used to say ‘Spaghetti can take you places!’

Anyway, while the world waits and wonders to find out what Vanity Fair found while fine tooth combing Paltrow’s ivory lace undies for suspicious spots, lets have a look at Padma Lakshmi. Paddy has never been one to shy away from carbs. She’s a pro chef so carbs go with the territory. Since we’ve lost Paula Deen to a racism scandal, and Nigella Lawson ran into husband related difficulties of the *choke choke gag gag* variety, our TV chefs need as much support as we can offer them! Paddy streaks ahead of the pack too, since her carb fueled bod has got her a fitness mag cover (She’s kind of good looking so magazines like to feature her on their covers from time to time). So who says that delicious can’t be healthy? You take a look at Pads strutting her stuff and then you tell me? Or as Sophia Loren used to say of her body back in the old days “Everything you see I owe to pasta!”

TV chef is bodalicious

Wondertrash sez – “curb the carbs”

Carbs are good, carbs are great. Of that there is no doubt. Especially after watching PadLa bears her curves. However I’d be remiss if I didn’t also add a few words of warning. If you’re gonna indulge in carbs then remember that a little goes along way. You gotta have a metabolism that can easily burn that stuff off. Or else you’re gonna wind up lumbering around like a Greyhound bus with a blown out tire! Even if you have the metabolism of a racehorse it’s still good to play it cool. There’s no sense in too much of a good thing! Why go from wonderful to super-sized?


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

wondertrash

2’s a Crowd – Inside Jordan & Alex Reid’s 50 Shades of Marriage

‘Katie says there were three people in our marriage, but there were actually four – me, her, Roxanne and Lady J,’ he told The Sun On Sunday. ‘When she was Lady J, I had to stop her from doing things. She became very smutty and was an exhibitionist. 

Katie Jordan Price can be a handful. Maybe that’s because there’s more than one personality lurking around in there. According to her ex husband by way of a brief but notable 12 month marriage, Katie has alter egos. The Jordan one is something she adopted when she became a Page 3 “glamour model”. Glamour model is the term Brit’s use to refer to women who pose for bikini shots in the newspaper – often featured on Page 3. It’s soft core cheese cake stuff. Women with silicone boobs dressed as nurses and sucking on lollipops – that sort of thing. No less a personage than Heather Mills – the former Lady McCartney, referred to herself as a glamour model (& it’s not the worst thing she’s been referred to as either) It’s good harmless fun, and how Katie amassed her millions.! Anyway her former husband – cage fighter Alex Reid claims that there’s yet another ‘side to Katie Jordan Price’s personality. That’s a person named Lady J!

Now Alex is no stranger to alter egos. He knows where of he speaks. Back in 2006 he created an ‘extra personae’ in the form of Roxanne – a burly drag queen that’s kind of a cross between Wonder Woman & Gene Simmons. Katie said that Roxanne was the reason she bailed on the marriage. Alex says no way. In fact he claims that KJP was interested in exploring the whole Roxanne side of his personality. So Roxy came out a lot more with KJP. Besides cross dressing worked for Jeff Chandler – so what’s the fuss anyway?

Besides Reid says that his Roxanne was nothing compared to Jordan’s Lady J alter ego. That bitch was practically possessed, AR says, and that it was as much as he could do to hold her back.Like when Siqo & his entourage were performing in the Indigo Bar at O2. KJP was drunk, according to Reid, and after the performance demanded to have sex with Siqo and his entire group! It was just shameful. Or as Reid put it – ‘I’d have to hold her back to stop her from taking her clothes off, even if we were in public.’

The plot thickens.According to Reid, Jordan had a long shopping list of female celebrity crushes. Nothing wrong in admiring beauty. However Jordan believed that she was actually gonna bed these ladies. Some of them were big names too like Lady Gaga, Cheryl Cole, & Madonna. Even Kelly Brooke, whom Jordan called a ‘heifer’ in a recent column, was on her ‘hit list’.

Now there have been some stories about Alex too. For one thing it’s claimed that he turned the couple’s marital bedroom into some kind of a cum dumpster sex dungeon loaded with perverted toys like ball gags, twat racks, and spiked dildos! Well not really. I think ball gags might have come into it. Let’s face it when you’re living with Katie Jordan Price then peace & quiet must be hard to get. There was also some talk about leather fetish masks. That happened when Jordan was drunk on a plane and started yelling to the rest of the passengers that they never sued such things, and then start shouting that “they’re thinking about us like that right now!” She was asked to leave the plane I believe. So maybe that was a Lady J moment. The Iron Maiden stuff is exaggeration. Besides Alex says that it ain’t so, except for the ‘pink sex machine’, and they both used that.

The thing is that Jordan made such a big deal out of Roxanne. So this kind of puts it in perspective. She was comfortable enough with Rox to pull out pictures of her husband cross-dressed at Simon Cowell’s 50th birthday party. She started showing them around too. Jordan was typically shameless but Reid said that kind of turned it sour for him. Point being that Katie ain’t shy, ain’t reserved, and has kinks instead of hangups. So like she was gonna be put off by Roxanne with her Lady J side running around drunk and in heat.

Not surprisingly Katie has denied this. In her Sun column she called her ex a fantasist with some heavy issues. She claimed that his revelations were motivated by malice and a transparent attempt to deflect attention from his own issues. From the looks of Alex as Roxanne I’d say that he’s the kind of guy who don’t shy away from attention. Besides Katie has moved on. She recently married body builder Keiran Haylar. That was after her break up with South American model Leandro Penna, and on the advice of her psychic! Wonder if Haylar has met Lady J yet?


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists