Wonder Woman Gal Gadot gets Fast & Furious?

Bullshit disclaimer – the following is written as humor only!

Gadot driven to steroids over Lynda Carter comparisons!

Lynda takes the twins for a run!

Ever since Gal Gadot got cast as Wonder Woman there have been complaints. For one thing she’s not Lynda Carter. Now she can’t help that so it can’t be held against her. Fort another fanboys think that she’s not “Amazonian” enough to fill out the part. In this case “Amazonian” doesn’t mean Lucy Lawless. It means “big boobs”. This must be a bit of a shock for Gadot. For one thing she looks fairly normal boobwise.  For another she’s a former beauty pageant winner (like Ms. Carter herself). So she’s always had her good looks going for her. Probably the last thing she ever figured she get complaints about. Gadot is learning that fanboys are hard to please.

Now Gadot has tried top make some defense of her casting. She’s made some official statements in interviews –

Hmm. I represent the Wonder Women of the new world. Breasts… anyone can buy for 9,000 shekels and everything is fine. By the way, Wonder Woman is amazonian, and historically accurate amazonian women actually had only one breast. So, if I’d really go “by the book”…it’d be problematic.

It’s the physical preparations that I’m starting now. A very serious training regime – Kung Fu, kickboxing, swords, jujutsu, Brazilian…1,000 and 1 things…I’ll gain body mass. 

Gadot jacked up on horse estrogen? 

Very diplomatic. Still breasts can be a touchy subject and hard not to take to heart. Completely unsubstantiated rumours (that I just made up) have have Gadot doing more than Kung Fu and carbs to bulk up. She may be turning to steroids in the form of horse estrogen! Horse estrogen is a very hi octane version of the female sex hormone. They would also explain some rapid and startling changes taking place in Gadot recently. Not only has she gained a layer of sleek muscular curves, but she has grown an extra 3 inches in height!

eat like a horse with the Wonder Woman diet

However there appear to be some side effects. For one thing she can’t stop eating! Her appetite has not only increased but changed from her usual meat & fish diet to oatmeal & fresh raw veg salad. When nothing else is available Gadot has been seen sneaking stacks of fresh cut grass! Shamefully she has also been secreting salt licks in her purse. Gadot claims that she’s ‘addicted’ to her new treats, and can’t get enough, especially with the stress of the boob criticism. It’s also cut down on the compulsive ‘cribbing’ on table edges, backs of chairs, and even her bed’s headboard!

Fast, furious, and born to run?

make a Gal mad & Wonder Woman gets Fast & Furious!

Her new muscular vitality has caused some behavior changes too. She’s taken to racing cars. Now she’s done that in her Fast & Furious flicks. The difference now is that she’s racing them on foot, & winning about half the time! More over she’s developed some personality changes. The old low key thoughtful Gadot seems to be replaced my a hormonal Gal-zilla! For instance she was recently over heard bragging to friends about how she would answer boob questions in future – “before I would’ve said some thing low key.The next time anyone pulls that shit on me, I think I’m just gonna slap ’em!” Wonder Woman smash! Sounds like Gal is feeling her oats!

ovary overdrive?

So the moral of the story is never criticism a woman’s boobs unless you’re prepared for the consequences. Otherwise normally quiet and complacent women could been driven to extremes, and end up running in the Kentucky Derby! Now if she’s good you could win some money. As a paying proposition you’d only have to worry about keeping her dose on horse estro. However just think of what could possibly happen once a woman’s ovaries go on overdrive.What’s a Gal to do?

Incidentally Gal Gadot seems to have been anticipated by DC Nation’s animated Wonder Woman shorts! Not only does the DCN Wonder Woman look like Gadot, but she even drives a souped up speedster like Gadot does in the Fast & Furious movies! Just take a look.

BTW if you’re having a confidence crisis then there’s no need to turn to horse pills like Gal Gadot. You can simply do what even Hollywood’s most successful celebrities do to boost their image and self esteme. Strike a pose. The good news is that it won’t cost you a cent. I don’t know what the possibly side effects might be.


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