Kate Upton Shits on Cameron Diaz’s Boobs

Peeking through the boob window – Have they started calling Kate Upton “Powergirl” yet?

Kate Upton as Power Girl from DC Comics

Now not shit literally, & maybe not even intentionally. A little back ground on this big boob blow up. Kate Upton is a bikini swim wear model who gained fame through the Sport’s Illustrated swimsuit edition. She was rookie of the year back in 2011, and had the covers in 2012 and 2013. Her claim to fame is that she’s blond and good looking, in that Baywatch sort of way, and she also sports a great big pair of boobs – also in a Baywatch sort of way. That can get a girl a lot of attention. It’s even gotten her a part in The Other Woman with Cameron Diaz! This is where the tit shittin’ comes in!

let the tit shittin’ begin!

Kate was giving some interview or something where she was obliged to talk about the other woman, Cameron Diaz, and her two costars dangling from her chest. Kate said that having fabulous bosoms might be every other woman’s dream, but quite frankly it’s a nuisance for her. It makes it impossible for her to wear certain kinds of clothes (just ask Powergirl!) like spaghetti tops (who’s picturing Upton covered in spaghetti right now?). Plus people keep ‘bringing them up”. I’m not sure what she means since they look pretty well ‘brought up’. I guess she means they make tongues wag.

bothersome bosoms 

more Kate Upton as Powergirl

The upshot is that Kate finds big boobage a mixed blessing.  Or possibly just excess baggage. She could have the best of both worlds – she says in interview – if the gal’s were ‘clip ons’. That way, and like fashionable accessories, she could strap on the big guns for special occasions – like a SI cover. Then when she wanted to blend in  with the crowd, she could snap those big ole suckers off, stow them some where out of the way, perhaps stuffed roughly into a car glove compartment, or discreetly crammed into a gala party swag bag for later use.

rent a boob and Wonder Woman’s crash bags!

It’s a good idea that Kate had since detachable boobs might even be a potential money maker. Kate could rent them out to other actresses when she herself is not using them. She might pass ’em on to Gal Gadot for her Wonder Woman work for instance! The studio could pick up Upton’s tab, and Gadot could add a tip for the tits! Then Gadot could go out and fight crime with authority! Once her work is done she could then return them back to Upton, & probably worse for wear with a few bullet holes covered up with duct tape. Wonder Woman plays rough you know!

Kate tries getting something off of her chest

Does Kate Upton need a Powergirl boob window?

So it was a sweet little interview where Kate comes off as an engaging and likable bimbo, until… she brings her Other Woman co star Cameron Diaz into it! Now no one will ever know whether what Kate said next was the result of a streak of cattiness, or whether she meant well and was having a blonde moment. After talking about the tremendous responsibility of carting her two whopping eye magnets around where ever she goes, whether she wants them along or not, she then goes on to wish for a better bod. She claimed that she would like something less unwieldy, more sleek and sporty. Most of all she’d like a nice pair of modest boobs – & something inconspicuous – like Cameron Diaz has! She put it nicely, saying that Diaz has a perfect body. However it comes off like “My magnificent big boobs are getting on my nerves, and if I were Cameron I wouldn’t have that problem.”

Battling boobs

Now if you know anything about chicks then you know that you don’t go ragging on another woman’s boobs. Especially if your’s are bigger! It just triggers all those latent female rivalry issues. Even if you’re Wonder Woman you don’t wanna hear Powergirl going on and on about how she needs Super Strength to lug her magnificent mammaries around, and how Diana is so lucky that she can use all her strength in the fight against evil! They might be on the same team, but when super heroines start trash talking each other’s tits like that then there’s gonna be blood on the floor of the Hall of Justice!

more ridiculous breast jokes

As for Diaz, she seems to have taken the dissing like a sport. Cameron officially responded that Upton is “more than a pair of boobs”! I’d have told Upton to count her blessings. For instance she never ever needs to worry about whether the auto air bags will deploy in case of a crash. That’s because she comes already fully equipped with her own! If she happens to trip up and fall forward, perhaps on some important occasion, then she’ll avoid an embarrassing slip by bouncing right back onto her feet! People will do a ‘double take’ at that! The best part is that should Kate ever get in over her head, then she has her own personal flotation devices! Just like the old Mae West life jackets! As for floating her way out of this, she’ll prob do just find, with a little help from her two close friends & bosom buddies!


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