Selena Gomez Ends Her Friendship With Taylor Swift Permanently

Pipe Dreams 

It’s been tough to keep up with celebrity gossip posting lately. Especially with a Hollywood Super Hero script in development! I call it Mammoth Man! A nervous genetic researcher is experimenting in the lab with extinct lines of DNA when he accidentally injects himself with some mammoth mutagen! He swells up to over 8 feet tall and 450 pounds! He basically turns into a sasquatch.

A big hairy freak who’s a little super & more than adequate

He also has the strength of a large woolly mammoth! He’s not Superman strong, but he’s super strong. He could pick up a car & toss it around, and maybe lift a house off of it’s foundation. That’s more than adequate for the average fight against crime!

Enter the heavy

The problems develop when a rival geneticist gets injected with Tyrannosaurus Rex DNA mutagen! This guy blows up to 25 feet tall, grows armor plated skin, has the strength of a TRex, and is completely insane evil. No one knows whether it was something inherent in the TRex DNA that drove him mad, or whether it was the physical and neurological shock of growing 25 feet over nite; but the dude is bad news! Naturally his super villain name is T Rex! Did I mention these guys were enemies in college?

punch your way out of this

So TRex is a major problem for Mammoth Man. TRex is too strong. He could toss a semi truck rig around like Styrofoam. You can’t shoot him be cause his scaly dinosaur skin is impervious. An exploding shell wouldn’t put a dent in him. He’s armor plated! So you couldn’t really put him in line with a few punches. 

tricked again in the usual way

He’s far stronger than Mammoth Man, so MM has to defeat his rival/enemy with his wits as well as his brawn. He usually does this by trickery, which might involve luring TRex into some trap, and then with the help of his side kicks subduing the big beast until it’s time to bring him back for another adventure. “Get ready, when he follows me into the cage quickly lock the door, after giving me time to slip out. Then we hit him with 10 000 volts of electricity!” TRex will have some patented bad guy come back like “You’ll pay for this next time Mammoth Man!”

Like a lizard cheerleader in the fight against evil!

Super Hero features are pretty big right now. With the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles getting released I only hope the time is right for me to float this idea, & maybe make a big payday. It has all the popular ingredients of super hero films, and is up to date. It’s got a great Fantastic Four meets Heavy Metal angle to it. It’s got super strong good guys and even stronger meaner bad guys. The only question is “is it formulaic enough?” I could probably add some hot chick as a side kick if necessary. Dina Repta, The Lizard Chick! She could be covered in blue green shiny scales, is wildly attractive in spite of her strange appearance, so she is basically decorative, and harmless because she only has ‘girl powers’ like ESP or empathy with which to participate in the action (“I feel his pain. It’s coming from over here. Let’s get him!”). So that can bring in the magic angle.

& then the dog ate it

Who are we kidding? There is no script. I’ve just been smoking a lot of drugs lately! As a result I haven’t been keeping up on my celebrity homework! But my assignment is ready today, and hastily slapped together with some fabricated lead in filler material, which you have just endured! Thank you for you kind patience! Now on with the real celebrity gossip. Today we ask what’s come between Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez. Hopefully the girls haven’t been experimenting with extinct lines of DNA. That can be a gate way to strong and more extreme experiences!

Another relationship has busted up on Taylor Swift. This time it’s not with some guy that she’s been briefly dating, and who’s gonna wind up the subject of a song. This time it’s with her erstwhile BFF Selena Gomez. Swift and Selena hand been hanging around together, and even following each other on Instagram. Then, and about the same time that Gomez was rumoured to be back with Justin Bieber, things went sour with Swift. I’m not sure how Swift feels about Bieber, except that she was photographed making some face as she walked past him, backstage at some videos ward event a few years back. That was back before he and Selena split for the first time,w hen things were just starting to get shitty for him, and before he graduated to impaired driving, sizzurp, and deportation petitions (which the White House has officially commented on. They had to release an official statement since the petition went over 100 000 signatures!). It’s been a crazy year for Justin Bieber.

Anyway apparently he and Selena are back together, and Selena and Taylor are seeing other people. It’s a shame. Taylor and Selena made such a good looking couple. Then again men will put a strain on girls’ friendships. Not that that’s what happened in this case, because we don’t really know what happened. There is some irrelevant detail floating around. Let’s have a gander at some of it and see what we can make of it!

Coming soon: My idea for a sitcom about a part time robot! He used top be a full time robot but there were cut backs. This idea is still in it’s very preliminary stages, but here’s a clue – our human ways seem strange to him. Think of it as a ‘reverse automation’ theme. If necessary the situation can heat up when he starts seeing a sexy hologram!

So remember to keep checking the Trash – the big hairy freak of a blog that’s more than adequate and occasionally a little super!


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