More trouble for Mel Gibson

More trouble for Mel Gibson. The Oscar winning actor has had his ups and downs ever since his notorious Malibu squad car freak out. That’s the one where he got busted for impaired driving and made a bunch of anti Semitic remarks in the back of a sheriff’s dept car. He also called a female officer “sugartits”. Since then he had a high profile break up with his wife Robyn, and an even higher profile break up with his ex mistress – gold digging skank Oksana Griegoriva.

As if this wasn’t trouble enough Mel has had some more bother behind the wheel. Seems Mr Gibson was motoring around Malibu Sunday last when his car mysteriously left the road. Then it collided with a rock. Since that would be an odd thing to do on purpose the sheriff’s dept came out to investigate.

The Sheriff’s dept was quick to issue a statement too. Given Mel’s colourful history with the bottle the first thing Malibu’s finest wanted to do was address what was on everyone’s mind. According to the professionals Mel was not drunk and alcohol is not a suspected contributing factor. As confirmation of that officers on the scene report that Gibson was both alert and cooperative. Mel himself stated that he was not talking on the phone – another vice that gets him in trouble; nor had he dosed off. As to what caused the 2008 Maserati to veer of the road, investigating officer Leland Tang says that it has been ruled an accident, which might have happened to anybody.


January Jones – Drunk at the wheel

More Celebrity Fail

Looks like the other shoe is dropping in the January Jones case. JJ is the Mad Men actress who recently got herself involved in a 4 car crash. 3 of the cars were parked at the time. Jones fled the scene and returned a short while later claiming that she couldn’t deal with the paparazzi. People thought that was a strange thing to do, especially since she’s not a paparazzi target, unless she was drunk and wanted to avoid the breathalyzer.

what’s cookin’?

Well now the Food Network’s Bobby Flay has come forward claiming that Jones had been drinking. Flay says that he saw Jones have one beer at least, but wasn’t really monitoring her alcohol intake. He was much more interested in getting to redo her kitchen. They exchanged numbers on that point of business.

fast lane to celeb rehab

According to witnesses, and IDon’tLikeYouInThatWay, Jones smelled of alcohol at the scene. After Flay arrived Jones left her drivers license and then fled the scene, She returned 45 minutes later with a change of clothes and chewing gum. She asked cops if they were gonna drunk test her, but they replied that there would be no point. It would be impossible to prove that she hadn’t had a drink after leaving the scene. The loophole in the drunk driving laws is that there’s no way to bust some one for DUI if they leave the scene, unless there are witnesses! Also there were no pesky paparazzi anywhere near the scene of the crime, though Jones may become a popular target of the celebrity pests now. You didn’t need to be the Amazing Kreskin to figure this one out.

No word yet on whether or not Dr. Drew wants tog et his hands on her.

Coming soon to Wondertrash: Does Angelina Jolie use secret voodoo rituals to steal her co stars mojo? Rumors have been coming out the Jolie is a voodoo practitioner. In fact it’s been a point of contention between her and long time partner Brad Pitt. Now some are questioning whether Jolie might’ve put the whammy on some of her co stars. Girl Interruppted Wynonna Ryder was riding high until she crossed paths with Jolie. Then Jolie got an Oscar and Ryder got busted for shop lifting. Jolie also co starred with former husband and Oscar winner Billie Bob Thornton in Pushing Tin. BB was fresh off of Slingblade and seemed to have an unlimited future as the next James Coburn. After his run in with Jolie his career has been permanently staled.


Gary Coleman Story: Heating Up

The Gary Coleman story is heating up. By heating up I mean that his estranged parents are taking an interest in his death that they hadn’t had in his life since he ceased being a major entertainer. Now Gary’s folks say that they aren’t pointing any fingers or anything. They just want answers for closure, and possibly to use in a court of law at some point. Remember that even if those answers don’t prove criminal guilt, they can be used in a civil law suit to determine control of Gary Coleman’s estate.

One thing we do know is that Shannon Price not only pulled the plug on Gary, she was there when whatever went down. In fact she was the one who called 911. An extended call – 4 to 5 minutes – has been released in which Shannon Price calls in the incident in which her husband was injured. In fact Gary’s voice can be heard in the background as Price tries to talk him into lying down.

Shannon sounds fairly calm, which is in her favour. Usually when people are ‘aware of guilt’ they can over compensate by over emoting: lots of crying, nose blowing, voice warbling (over modulating); basically Kleenex and cheap theatrics. Shannon didn’t give the “my poor husband” routine on the phone, and even takes a little time to vent about her own health and frustration. So if she’s not ‘selling innocence’ then it might because she hasn’t got a ‘guilty conscience’. Though everyone was ready to believe the worst, especially where the volatile Ms Price was involved, this thing may actually be what it seems: a tragic accidental ending to a troubled life. Godspeed Gary, & best of luck with what you find.


Justin Bieber Fail

Fame and the carousel of fail

Looks like more trouble for Justin Bieber. If you’ll the lad got in a spot of bother when he told a New Zealand reporter that we don’t use the term “German” in America. Bieber then went on to say that he thought the reporter was using the term “Jew-man”, and so wanted to shut things down fast. It’s easy to get the wrong end of things when you’re on a 26 hour a day schedule, and the Bieber is young, so folk are willing to cut him some slack over that.

if you can’t stop the world and let me off, then could you at least slow it down till I catch up?

Odd remarks aren’t the only thing that Bieber get’s the wrong end of though. He also has some difficulty with revolving doors. In the following short video (as obviously staged as anything ever shown on America’s Funniest Home Videos), the Bieber gets beaned in the noggin while trying to get through one of those tricky contraptions!

The days of the Star Trek Federation sliding automatic door can’t come soon enough. That is unless Beiber can find some way to screw that up too. He really should try to get used to the revolving doors. Those things keep reappearing, and various forms, throughout a show business career.

Chin up Bieber, wait until you’ve done this for as long as Ian Jethro Tull Anderson. He shares some of his experience in this little video called “I don’t think that I can do this anymore“.



When it came to being a tabloid celebrity who was famous for being famous, and frequently naked and spaced out, Anna Nicole Smith wrote the book. Here now is Anna Nicole Smith: the Paparazzi Tapes.

anna nicole smitht he paparazzi tapes


Update On Channing Tatum’s Penis


Lindsay Lohan Car Crash Video

This shocking video courtesy of Popsugar, where they have more on the story. So take the hint a get over there – chop, chop!


CHIPS got questions; Tiger has no answers

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Rule #1 in dealing with a media shit storm is don’t say anything! He who says nothing, says nothing wrong.

Rule#2 is keep a low profile. If you’re constantly showing your face on Oprah or in magazines in some cockeyed attempt to spin manage a situation, then you’re just reinforcing the scandal in everyone’s minds. Remember Tom Cruise? Just go away for a while. Take a 6 to 9 month hiatus (like Russell Crowe after his phone throwing incident). Then come back low key with some new project to talk about, instead of what ever scandal landed you in the soup in the first place.

If Tiger can keep his cool while everyone is gearing up for a media feeding frenzy, then by this time next week we’ll be talking about the Jon Gosselin sex tape, Obama’s latest gaff, nude photos of Miley Cyrus hitting the Internet, or whatever the scandal de jour happens to be. By following these simple PR rules even Chris Brown is redeemable. Micheal Richards – not so much. As for Tila Tequila – she’s on the bubble.

Tila Tequila


Love & Other Accidents

“Love” is never having to say “You hit an artery”

I’m told that most accidents happen in the kitchen and in the bathroom. It’s that dangerous combination of a man, a woman, and so many potentially lethal objects close at hand. In fact we will never know how many of them were really ‘accidents’, or playful lovers games that got out of hand. A woman does something to get a rise out of her lover – like use his razor on her legs for instance. The man responds in the usual manner – “What happened to my Triple Mach multi blade titanium razor? It worked great yesterday and now some one has turned it int a cheese grater!”

At this point the girl’s pride is a little hurt. “You can’t tell me that my soft downy leg hair can wreck a razor faster than pubic Brillo pad he’s got growing out of his face!” she thinks Then she usually says something she shouldn’t – just to vent. “What are you getting so upset about?” is a standard response. Now men are stupid, & fools, but they do possess some minimal degree of sentience (like those cars that seem to know precisely the most inconvenient time to stall, & then do so). The man realizes that this is an attempt to turn things around on him. So he starts to become enraged.

Now we usually progress to the point where the man will grab the most expensive beauty product that the woman has been careless enough to leave within reach. He will then probably either drain it down the toilet or start rubbing it up between the crack of his ass (depending on what sort of a ‘winner’ you’ve picked out for yourself). As everything turns to a blank white in front of your eyes, and the blood rushes either to or from your head, you’ll usually hear something like “Now what are you getting upset about?”

Many ‘accidents’ have occurred from something like this, and winds up with a guilty looking house wife explaining to the investigating officer that she begged her husband not to bring the toaster into the bath with him, but he just wouldn’t listen. “I knew one day something bad would happen but he just kept calling me a silly woman, and reminding me that I didn’t understand machinery.” Even more accidents happen in the kitchen. That can be attributed to having a man and a woman together in the same room with so many sharp objects near by. Less frequently the driveway becomes the scene of a domestic outburst/accident.

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The triangle is geometry’s most dangerous form

Tiger Woods apparently racked the car up while leaving his home at 2AM, not while returning home.This lends credence to the theory that this accident was of a domstic nature. Wife Elin may have found out about the cocktail waitress Rachel Uchitel (who is adamantly denying being the third point in the triangle). So that leaves a plethora of questions about the accident, not the least of which what was Elin doing with that golf club? Was she trying too free her husband from the wreck, or finish him of before authorities arrived? Remember that the woman has viking blood, so when she found out about the other woman she might have flipped out into berserker mode.

andy capp

BTW more on the lovable, drunken, unemployed wife beater Andy Capp can be found @ the British Cartoon Archive. Be warned because many of these panels are highly politically incorrect; even when long suffering wife Flo gets the better of her husband with the use of her dreaded rolling pin!

BTW One of the most unvarnished depictions of married life is not Married With Children, but Tony Curtis and Sidney Poitier in The Defiant Ones. So for any of the young and naive out there contemplating taking the plunge just imagine being handcuffed to the same person for years – until death do you part. You might instead prefer to take a plunge out of an aeroplane without a parachute!

Romance can bring out the animal in you!

Now for your Sunday afternoon viewing enjoyment here’s a little offering about square triangles, the geometry of romance, and aliens bent on world domination (I’ve never understood the whole world domination thing. This seems more like the kind of place you’d want to get away from. If there’s any truth to the Roswell story then Earth is certainly a bad place for you flying saucer to run out of gas. The locals are armed, dangerous, and shoot first then ask questions later.)!


“It’s just lucky for her that an alien walked through that door instead of her husband!”


Tiger Crashes

Tiger Woods was involved in an early morning crash. Lest you think that success has gone to his head and he was tanked up behind the wheel; here’s the unofficial story. As you know Tiger married a Swede who was working as a nanny for another golfer. Rumour was that this girl was on the make and looking for some one rich but a little naive. Naturally she moved in on Tiger. Gold brickers don’t make the best life partners, and it began to show in Tiger’s game, though people blamed that on the death of his mentor and father.

video courtesy of

Well now the rest of the story is starting to emerge. The reason Tiger was out in his SUV at 2 AM is because he is allegedly seeing a cocktail waitress, Rachel Uchitel. I suppose that he’s trying to find the comfort and solace he isn’t getting from his greedy shrewish wife. Now juggling 2 tramps on the make can be tricky business, even for some one as talented as Woods (It’s really more of a job for a John F Kennedy).

The pressure finally got to him and he flipped his car. That lead a trip to the hospital, and a lot PR media noise, and the eventual announcement that Tiger is basically OK – physically that is. He still has those tricky relationship problems to deal; with. Like they used to say in the old days – “no sex when you’re playing the game!” On the bright side at least we won’t have to hear about that buck toothed squinty eyed Taylor Swift for a awhile. Maybe even for several hours!

tiger woods crashes SUV

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