In the Thicke of it

In my last post I reported that Robin Thicke and his lovely wife Paula Patton are splitsville. Now that’s despite being a powercouple of Brangelina proportions at least according to Robin’s dad Alan Thicke. Alan was the man who raised Kirk Cameron, on TV, into the fine upstanding man he is today. So Big Al must know something. That leaves us with the $64 000 question of what went wrong?

Well according to some sources things hit a sour note after Thicke’s performance at the VMA Awards. That’s where he got familiar with Miley Cyrus‘ rear end in front of an international audience. Not tthat this would phase Patton. She’s a pro and knows the score. When Miley Cyrus shakes her bum in the direction of Robin’s crotch, Patton knows that this is strictly business and nothing personal. Still it should be pointed out that no good comes from twerking, and as a public nuisance rates right up there with texting while driving and smiley face emoticons!

It was what happened after the VMAs that might be more noteworthy. Robin was out on the town and no doubt feeling full of himself. Everyone was talking about the the thing he just did, and the scandal as sticking to Cyrus. He  must’ve felt like Napoleon riding into Moscow in 1812. So he did what any young and full of himself fellow might do in that situation – he groped some random broad! According to some reports this got photographed, and the pix got sent to his wife Paula Patton!

Nor was this by any means the extent of Robin’s misbehavior. Robin was very recently in Paris. Now that’s an ideal setting for all kinds of romantic indiscretions. You just need the right location. Robin found that in the form of Club 79 West. That’s a nightclub – for those who need everything explained. Now night clubs are just choked full of strange temptations like booze, drugs, and pretty girls. Robin managed to run headlong into one of those temptations, and man this young lady is a doozy! As usual there were pictures. Just take a peep!

That Robin is everywhere you wanna be. Now when things reach this point then there’s explaining to be done. Robin himself has often said of his marriage that it’s “the most functional, dysfunctional marriage in Hollywood”. That statement has become a half truth – so even more commentary was required. Says Mr. Thicke “My only comment about the so-called scandalous photo would be that my wife and I are perfectly in love and very happily married, so, no complaints there.” Well some one must’ve had some complaint because now it looks like the pair are headed for divorce court.

There are probably many  lessons from these celebrity cautionary tales that are applicable to the everyday lives of real people like you & me. For instance if Miley Cyrus offers you the chance to go twerking with her, then think twice about it. Some powerful mojo might rub off! Also when you’re Napoleon riding into Moscow as conquering hero then take a lesson from history – Waterloo can’t be far off. Perhaps most importantly if you’re gonna flirt around on your wife try and be discreet about it in stead of shamelessly blatant. Women have their pride and publicly humiliating them can create a very bad situation. Let’s put it this way – if you piss off a woman, then the only light at the end of that tunnel might be an on coming freight train with your name on it! Just because the lines are blurred is no excuse not t o watch your step!

Now and after so many Napoleon references I’d be a jerk to hold this out on you so here it is – the post appropriate music video – presented to you in “eurovision”! I’m not sure if that’s anything like vidicolour of supermarionation, but Enjoy!

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Robin Thicke Breaks His Post-Split Silence

Proud Papa Alan Thinke once described his son Robin and daughter in law Paula Patton as a super couple, however it seems that the dynamic duo have run into a rough patch, perhaps involving kryptonite
Robin Thicke breaks silence on Paula Patton split

Alan Thicke was once quoted as describing his son and daughter in law ,Paula Patton, as a super couple, and compared them to Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie. At least he didn’t compare them to Superman & Wonder Woman.  If you’ve followed entertainment gossip to any degree then you know that show business is rough on relationships, even for super couples. So it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that the Thicke’s have split.

These things can come apart in any number of ways: people grow apart, the pressures of respective career demands pull people in separate directions, or maybe Robin caught the missus spiking his smoothies with kryptonite. That last one would’ve been unforgivable! However after his Miley Cyrus tweaking episode it would be understandable.

Anyway here’s a brief video update on the Thicke split.

Robin and Paula seem like an attractive and personable couple. So it’s a shame. However there is other shameful news to take our minds off of it. Like Paula Deen and Duck Dynasty. Paula was a marque personality on one of those lifestyle networks. She taught American how to make tasty food by soaking everything in lard and then deep frying it beyond recognition. The idea seemed to be “wrap it in bacon and they will come”. So naturally she gained a following.

She lost that following after some unkind remarks of her’s became public. Those ignorant comments don’t need to be repeated here, but suffice it to say thats she ain’t gonna be getting any Martin Luther King jr. awards. So then it was scandal time. Internet posters vented their rage and acted like they wanted to see Deen smothered in lard and lowered into a deep fat fryer! Whether or not that would help her achieve a state of crispy golden perfection, I doubt it would change her attitudes any.

Now Paula at least had the very good sense to drop out of the public eye for a while. When you really fuck up bad sometimes it’s a good idea to give everyone a chance to forget about whatever it was that you said or did that pissed them off so mightily. However the recent comments of Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson have drawn Deen out of hiding.

You’ll recall that Robertson was interviewed in GQ Magazine. That because when you run a style based publication you naturally want the input of a guy in a John Deere cap and camouflage over hauls. It just doesn’t make sense. Robertson then went on to share his views on homosexuality – he doesn’t get it and thinks it’s against the Bible. He then went on to make some ‘insensitive’ comments about the plight of black people in the south. They were along the “so what was the big problem with that” vein. Some thought that Robertson had become officially worse than Hitler. Other speculated that he was sick of DD, and would do or say anything to get himself fired. If that was the plan it didn’t work. DD is A&E’s biggest draw – so they really couldn’t afford to lose him as long as viewers keep tuning in. Maybe tea bagger Sarah Palin’s impulsive defense of him helped.

So Paula has taken some exception to this. Basically Deen wants to know why Big Phil and the Quack Pack are getting some kind of a free pass on this while she was drawn and quartered (her only defender was the Rev Jesse Jackson who was quoted as saying he didn’t see how destroying her would be of any help). While her chicken fried empire was in jeopardy, Duck Dynasty kept rolling on like it was water off of a quack’s back. Meanwhile America’s collective sholestrol  levels are dropping dramatically – so Deen still has a difference to make! Here’s a brief video on that.

The public feels that there are no place for Deen’s rather obnoxious views. However there might still be an important contribution for her to make. As you may be aware Israeli actress Gal Gadot has been cast in a three picture Wonder Woman deal. This makes her the 1st official Wonder Woman since Lynda Carter. Gal’s tall, beautiful, a former member of the Israeli army, & a former Miss Israel. Plus she did her own stunts in several Fast & Furious flicks. There’s just one slight glitch. Gadot is a size 0. So she’s got to gain some weight before she can don the satin tights.

To that end Gadot has been on a weight gain intensive to bulk up for the role. The studio’s have send their top trainer over the the Promised Land in order to work with Gadot personally. So she’s into a grueling regime of physical training and martial arts. Basically they’ve done everything short of shooting the girl full of horse estrogen. She’s also on a 3500 calorie a day diet to get some meat on them bones. Every fashion model’s dream.

This is where Deen could come in. No one knows more about hi calorie diets than Paula. So why not let her redeem herself by sending her over to work with Gadot? She could act as her personal chef, & whip up some heavily buttered, thickly battered, deep fried goodies that could have Gadot bursting at the seams in no time flat! I doubt that Deen cooks kosher – but when the world is waiting for Wonder Woman, & the magic that she does, exceptions have to be made. The only possible problem with this scenario could be the possible side effects: like Gadot developing type 2 diabetes, or her pancreas exploding. That’s always an issue with Deen’s cookin’. Still a few serving of refried caramelized lard combined with grueling work outs and Gadot could be sprouting bulging new curves in no time!

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