Angelina Jolie considering pre wedding surgery?

Imagine for a moment that you’re Angelina Jolie. It’s cold out side so go and stick your mouth onto something metal and frozen, then pull your lips away quick after they’ve stuck on. That might help you get into character. Now imagine that you’re marrying Brad Pitt – according to the National Enquirer. You’ve found the perfect wedding gown but there’s just one slight problem – it doesn’t go with you’re arms. What do you do?

Well according to In Case You Didn’t Know you opt for something radical. In this case radical is surgery! You see Jolie has a slight problem with veins. It’s nothing really serious but to hear some people talk you’d think she had more lines running up and down her arms than Spiderman! Unfortunately for Jolie she’s taken the vein talk to heart. She wants her special day to be perfect. So her inner Bridezilla is taking over and deciding that nothing can stand in the way of perfection.

According to a source “Angie has always had a complex about how her veins jut out, but she never had an incentive to do anything about it until now. She’s chosen a sleeveless gown for her wedding day, and the last thing she wants is to be looking like a freak in the photographs.”

 Another source said, “Angie could probably fix the problems with her veins herself if she’d just put on some weight, but that’s not an option to her. She’s so immersed in directing her movie and working such crazy hours that food is the last thing on her mind. I’m sure that if she took the time to bulk up, everything in her life – including the toll all the weight loss has taken on her body – would fall into place. But Angie’s just too busy to eat. She’s also convinced that she needs to stay super skinny to maintain her sex appeal.”

 The source added, “That leaves her no option but surgery to tidy up those veins. The last thing she wants is for it to get worse. As she jokes to Brad, ‘I’m already vain enough!’”

Now that shouldn’t be major surgery or anything. Sounds like nothing more complicated than getting varicose veins removed. People do that all the time. Still a few extra pounds might not hurt. Back in her feisty &  fleshy prime, in those old Tomb Raider days. AJ’s fighting weight was about 130 pounds. That was at about 5′ 7″. It’s dropped a lot since then. Naturally bulking up with food and exercise can be demanding and even a full time job for the chronically slender.

However there’s got to be something less extreme than surgery. For instance she could always give horse estrogen a try! If Angelina does it then it could start a trend! Who knows where that might lead? Possibly to side effects. Once those powerful chemicals combine with pre wedding jitters the beast inside her might take over like a case of demon possession! She’d go full tilt Bridezilla! In such a  case there might be no holding her back! Are we really ready for Angelina Unleashed?

Then again maybe it’s not such a big deal. Think of it as like removing a few stray threads from a classic designer gown.

Horse estrogen & snide effects?

Today’s blog spot is dedicated to that unsung hero of Hollywoodthe Unknown Celebrity! Just because you don’t know who some one is doesn’t mean that they’re not famous. It could be that hot chick in the commercial, or that guy from the cult TV show, or even the voice from an animated TV hit sit com. For instance, you prob wouldn’t recognize Dan Castellaneta if you ran into him on the street, unless he said “D’oh”.

If you’ve gotta be famous, then the best way is being famous anonymously

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Cher in the Family

Family Matters

These are rough days for Cher. That’s because she’s having family trouble. 1st she had some public differences with her son Chaz over his gender reassignment surgery. Now she’s on the outs with her second son Elijah Blue – by Greg Allman. Her differences with Elijah Blue could be serious – because they’re over love!

golden apron strings

Elijah is 36 and has never really worked a day in his life. Not that he needs to because his mom supports him. That gives him more free time to travel, spend money, and run up bills for his mom to pay. He has a business manager to help him keep track of those bills and make sure that they get paid. Business manager is paid by mom too. Not that the guy is completely aimless. He tried heroin addiction for a while. Cher dropped a ton on rehab helping him to get clean. It’s like his life is crying out for some kind of focus and direction.

King’s ‘the queen’

Nature abhors a vacuum. Now it seems that focus and direction has come along to fill the void in Elijah’s life, and in the form of a fetching young woman with a Brit accent. The lady is 25 year old Marieangela King, but her friends call her Angie. She and Elijah are getting on famously too. They met in Cologne Germany about 11 months ago. That’s Angie’s home base – she plays in a band there featuring not only herself but her 4 siblings. Elijah is a struggling musician & artist himself – so they pair have something in common.

money for honey

Elijah likes to be supportive of his new gal too. He’s decided to show her the world for one thing. So he’s taken her to Venice, Italy. There’s also been a  trip to St. Bart’s. He’s also showered the girl with expensive presents! Money’s no problem cause Cher’s good for it – so Elijah just whips out his mom’s black Amex card when he needs to keep the wheels of love greased. Nothing’s too good or too much for the young lady EB calls “my queen“. Now the pair are living together down in Malibu in one of Cher’s homes. So it looks like the young man has finally found something that he can fully commit to. You’d think that his mom would be pleased. Nothing doing. Cher is miffed and not only over all those credit card bills she’s getting in the mail.  For one thing every woman has a past and Angie is no exception.

a woman with a past

You see there’s a fly in the ointment. Marieangela was raised in a ‘sex cult‘. In this case the cult was the notorious “Children of God” . AS for the sex let’s just say that if Jimmy Savile was gonna join a cult Children of God would’ve been top of the list. The cult had lots of controversial practices like “flirty fishing” where female cult members were supposed to act like ‘temple prostitutes‘, and screw prospective converts until they came around and saw things the right way. Within the cult everybody was screwing everyone and especially the cult’s Big Daddy David Berg – alias David Moses. Trouble was that everyone also included the kids so the whole thing became a huge mess. Many young people raised in the Children of God – now called Family International – wound up mental cases. Some have even committed suicide.

How involved was Angie in the Children of God? Her father Michael Jaffery King has admitted that he spend 25 years in the notorious cult.  A friend of Angie’s, quoted in this week’s National Enquirer, says that Angie admits that “she was involved in underage sex, but it was all she knew. While they called it love – forcing young children into having sex with adults is abuse. Thew way some kids were manipulated was also brainwashing and torture. It was hell on earth fort many of the children.

 Black Amex meal ticket is a gold plated green card?

Cher her has other concerns too. She’s afraid that Angie is only using her son. In particular she’s afraid that King sees Elijah as a gold plated green card into the promised land! So she’s been making her suspicions known to her son. That’s gone over about how you’d expect since Elijah merely has to remind Cher about her won colourful past. Like her one week marriage to Elijah’s dad Greg Allman. Then there are her two divorcees and numerous toy boy type relationships l;like her fling with the Bagel Boy. So mom loses the moral high ground fast. Meanwhile Elijah is talking marriage.

All in the Family & Three’s Company

Upshot is that the situation is going down hill. Elijah has never really been sober but he’s been drinking more lately. Cher’s not doing much better. She’s gearing up for a big farewell tour in February. However the stress of the while “Angie” situation is causing Cher to develop stomach trouble. Meanwhile Elijah and Angie are living in Cher’s home, but son and mother are barely on speaking terms – & Cher hates Angie! Who would’ve guessed that money and sex could make such an explosive, & miserable, combination? Having future daughter and mother in law under the same roof doesn’t help either. Just ask Erin Moran! Upside is that at least Elijah & Angie ain’t staying at the motel 6 – like Joanie Cunngham – however this story is still developing so who knows where it will go.

All in the Family original unaired pilot!

Family life can be rough no matter who you or or how much you have. Especially when you have  grown children and their partners living under the same roof as aging parents. No show showed us that better than TV classic All in the Family. So let’s have a blast from the past now with a look and the original and unaired pilot featuring Carroll O Connor and Jean Stapleton that eventually made the show we remember possible! Some of the names and faces are different but the routine is basically the same – so have fun!

Wondertrash Family Values

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