Andy still a dick

Even Gloria Allred wouldn’t touch this!

I’d say that Andy Dick is still fighting his demons except that these days his demons are probably ashamed to be seen with him. That doesn’t mean that Andy is ashamed to show his face out in public, and his his usual condition too; drunk and disorderly! Seems that Andy was out and about down in Temecula, CA. That’s ’cause fashionable LA establishments won’t let him on their premises. Anyway Andy was enjoying himself in a local restaurant when he got a little too high spirited. That’s a polite euphemism for got drunk out of his mind and made a fool of himself.

everyday is a reality TV episode

Now there’s no word yet on what sort of tomfoolery Andy was involved in (I’m assuming that it was more than a nipple slip), but it did result in the usual visit from the cops. Andy got charged with a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct with alcohol. Then he was escorted off the premises and to the nearest drunk tank. It must be reassuring to know that there are some establishments that still welcome him; even if it’s only into the Lindsay Lohan suite. Anyway Andy got some time to sober up and enjoy some complimentary jail house hamburgers before paying his $500 fine and being released. So he is once again free to pursue his new career as a public nuisance! Oh yeah, and he also got this nifty mugshot as a little memento!

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Nic Cage gets arrested

Nic Cage is an interesting man: he named his son Kal El – after Superman, he’s built a pyramid shaped mausoleum down in New Orleans that he hopes to one day be buried in, and he has an interest in conspiracy theories – which may have been the basis for a few of his films. He also as a volatile marriage. His marriage is what’s got him in today’s exciting post.

Seems Mr Cage was down in New Orleans with his wife – the lovely and talented Alice Kim. She would be the mother of Kal El I guess. Anyway Mr Cage was feeling no pain, and by that I mean he was inebriated. Sometimes when alcohol starts doing your thinking for you it also starts doing the talking. Sometimes it makes married men get a little brave with their wives too. Cage and Kim were having a difference of opinion, and since the alcohol was disagreeing with him too – he must have felt the 2 on 1 situation was a bit much. So Nicky got loud and mouthy!

Well with all the drunken shouting and hollering that was going on 2 of New Orleans finest pulled up. They’ve been on hi alert every since the Bog Easy became a disaster zone, and so the hullabaloo must’ve attracted their attention. Anyway they pull up and want to know what the fuck is going on. This changed the power dynamic of the situation from 2 on one to 4 on 1: Nic versus his wife, the booze and 2 cops for those of you keeping score. Naturally that’s gonna make anyone defensive. especially if they’re a little strange and drunk out of their mind. So Nic gets mouthy with the cops. Now anyone fresh of the back of a turnip truck could tell you that’s a bad idea!

While every one is shouting and hollering like a pack of hillbillies with a bad case of moon shine poisoning Nic says those magic words “Well why don’t you just go ahead and arrest me!” When it comes to slapping on the cuffs the boys in blue usually don’t need any encouragement. In this case Nic’s wish was their command. They had the bracelets on the lad, and him in the back of the squad car faster than you could say “TMZ”. That lead to the following mug shot -to be added to that ever growing celebrity rogue’s gallery:

It’s quite a bit different from another mug shot, the one that launched his career in Raising Arizona – but that’s the difference between movies and reality for you. Here’s that other mug shot for some side by side comparison!

Those were happier times – he started out like Jeff Spicoli and wound up like Sean Penn; how ironic!

Anyway his wife has made a statement on the incident – sort of. She has insisted to cops and to the media that there was no domestic abuse involved. Nic never laid a finger on her. He was just being a jerk. She also isn’t planning to press any charges. That’s good cause Cage is already out on 11 000 bail. This is were it gets interesting. Just guess who bailed him out! That would be none other than celebrity bounty hunter Duane Chapman – better known to the world as Dog!

Dog has made a public statement to the effect that he will not be making any public statements about the Cage Affair. I think that he means he won’t be making any more public statements. Then again nothing was ever strait forward in Hollywood. Things there don’t make too much sense either! While keeping mum on the matter Dog went on to say that he is a huge and committed fan of Mr Cage. He also wants to remind the public that he is a consummate professional, and Mr Cage is his client. That means Mr Cage can count on him, unless Nicky makes a run for it or something. Dog does says that he doesn’t think a bail skip is gonna be a problem in this case. With Nicky you can’t be too sure though. No word on whether Starwhackers were involved in this incident. Maybe they have targeted Cage for getting to close to the truth through his amateur conspiracy work. If so I’m sure we’ll be hearing about it in one of Cage’s upcoming movies. That is assuming Cage doesn’t do a bail skip and forcing Dog to put the smack down on him!



Charlie Sheen has just got a lot of competition! how I said that there’s more going on in the world of entertainment than Charlie Sheen? Well it’s going on now! The thing is that celebrities hold it in during the award season run up to the Oscars. No one wants to fuck up and lose their invitation to the ball. So celebs have to be on the best behavior. Naturally the walking around on egg shells gets to them. So you have an outburst just after the awards are clued up. Now on with the outburst!

Natalie Portman makes a stand @ the Oscars

Story No 1 is Oscar related. Remember when Natalie Portman showed up preggers and in her fancy dress; looking as pretty as Natalie Wood? Well there was a little more to her big Oscar evening than that. There was also some fashion politics going on. Portman is the newest face of Dior. as such she was expected to show up at the podium and collect her ward decked out in her sponsor’s finest. Portman didn’t wear Dior, but showed up in Rodarte. So why the last minute switch?

Mel Gibson gets some company

One of the big names at Dior was John Galliano. He was a big name cause he recently got fired. He was fired because he went all Mel Gibson on some poor woman at a restaurant in Paris. He told her that she had a ‘dirty Jewish face‘ and then went on to make some over dodger type remarks. For the record the chick wasn’t Jewish, but why let facts stop you when you’ve got a point to make? Galliano repeated that point on other occasions, and added remarks like “I love Hitler” and “you should be dead” suspected Jews. Unfortunately for Galliano some of these remarks got video taped!

When you get video taped shoot from the lip red handed like that it doesn’t leave you much room for self defense (Galliano claims that the couple mistook him for a bum and began insulting them when he tried to strike up a conversation with the random strangers). Just ask Michael Richards! It can also make people of the Jewish persuasion a little upset. They seem to take it almost personally or something! You know how high strung and temperamental they can be, especially when some brings up Hitler and says that they should be dead. Anyway the high strung, temperamental, and very Jewish Natalie Portman took it beyond personal and boycotted Dior on Oscar night. Then she released the following statement:

“I am deeply shocked and disgusted by the video of John Galliano’s comments that surfaced today,” she said in a statement issued last night. “In light of this video, and as an individual who is proud to be Jewish, I will not be associated with Mr. Galliano in any way. I hope at the very least, these terrible comments remind us to reflect and act upon combating these still-existing prejudices that are the opposite of all that is beautiful.”

So Nat’s pissed off. This may put her in violation of her contract with Dior, much the way that CBS is in violation of contract with Charlie Sheen. However it’s unlikely that Dior is gonna get vindictive and sue Portman for a ton. For one thing they’re very sensitive to anything that even smells like bad press. That’s why Galliano got fired, probably out of a cannon that was aimed at a nearby brick wall. It’s also why the good people at Dior tried to out a good face on their situation by issuing the following press release:

“I condemn most firmly the statements made by John Galliano which are total contradiction with the essential values that have always been defended by the House of Christian Dior,” President and CEO Sidney Toledano said in a brief statement released today.

“Today, because of the particularly odious nature of the behavior and words of John Galliano in a video made public this Monday, the Christian Dior house has decided to lay him off immediately and has begun firing procedures against him.”

Now Galliano has some fashion show on Friday. Word is that it’s still set to go through. It’ll probably be as joyful as a funeral too (JG will be in the role of the corpse). On the upside while there are gonna be a lot less celebs attending, there’s bound to be tons more paparazzi. As for Natalie, no word on whether she plans to start using her real name of Herschlag, or continue using her Hollywood slave name Portman.

Christina still a drunk

Christina and Matt Under the influence ... Christina and Matthew

Now fashion faux pas weren’t the only notable fuck ups in the volatile post Oscar period (drugs, alcohol, and pent up bad behavior can be a bad combo. When you add those stories the media was sitting on till after the Oscar, everything can add up into a career ender!). In the case of Christina Aguelira her career has been dead for a while. Certainly since “twilight’s last reaming” @ the Superbowl. That doesn’t mean that Chrissy still doesn’t have a few tricks up her sleeve, like getting arrested!

drunk and disorderly – now indistinguishable from Ashlee Simpson!

Seems Christina and her latest guy Matthew Rutler were out and about, driving around as it were in the wee hours of the morning through the West Hollywood area. There’s nothing wrong with that, unless you’re ripped to the gills; which both Christina & Matthew were. So they got pulled in. Matt was driving so he got slapped with a DUI and released on $30 000 bail. Christina, the passenger, got slapped with a misdemeanor. Law enforcement officials described her as drunk and unable to take care of herself. Of course that’s been Christina’s predicament for awhile now according to Lainey, who’s acting like she predicted this or something:

As for her condition – look, it’s not like we weren’t calling this way back in October. As I noted then:

Ultimately though, what’s really going on with Christina? As I’ve already noted, she’s bored. She’s been bored for a while. This is just the beginning.

Now that story is sort of confirmed by sources close to Christina, who claim that they’ve been trying to get the singer into rehab for weeks. That explains what happened at the Superbowl!

more stormy weather from Hurricane Heather?

Finally some one who we haven’t heard from for a while, though she never ever holds it in. She’s a noted animal activist who blew up her neighbor’s dog with fireworks. She’s also the ex wife of a former Beatle. That lady would be Heather Mills. Now Mills was best known back when she was hooked up with some one genuinely talented. However lack any real ability or interesting quality didn’t stop her from trying to hog more than her fair share of attention.

yelling & telling

The attention grabbing only got worse during the divorce. Maybe that’s because she started to get interesting, but not in a good way. For one thing she started raising an unholy stink in the media. Remember when she tossed a glass of water in the face of Sir Paul’s lawyer, telling the poor woman “you’ve been baptised!“?

ask Peter Andre – hell hath no fury like a page 3 glamor model

She also started telling the press that Sir Paul abused her. Actually that’s not exactly what Mill’s said. She isn’t the sort of person to mince words with delicate phrases like “abuse” when the words “drunken, drug abusing wife beater” are available. The sad part about that is that some of the shit stuck after Paul paid money to get some of his late wife’s diaries back. While some thought the man was merely trying to respect his late wife’s wishes by making sure her journals remained private, some were beginning to suspect that McCartney had something to hide.

Heather gets choked up in the bedroom – PR firm says “come clean”

Well it looks like Sir Paul has a clean bill of health. At least that’s according to Mills ex PR firm. According to Parapluie – the PR firm – they believe that Mills was being less than truthful when she made claims like, “I could kill [Paul], last night, he tried to choke me. The marriage is over.” I’d give Heather the benefit of the doubt and call that one a half truth. While it’s doubtful Paul ever got violent with her, I’m sure she meant it when she said that she could kill him and that the marriage was over!

an echo of your last goodbye

There were some other things that Heather stretched the truth about too, according to the good folk @ Parapluie. Like her Dancing With the Stars money. Poor Ms Joan of Arc claims that she squandered every cent she earned on the show in charitable donations to the unworthy, ’cause that’s just the kind of noble soul she is. If you believe that one then you’d better stay the fuck off of Craigslist! In fact the firm is also accusing Mills of not paying them the money she owes them. That’s why they’re taking her too court for $168 000 in unpaid bills. They’re already forwarding stuff to TMZ too, so brace yourself for more Mills!


Jaime Pressly – Earl Girl Busted for DUI!

a boozer, a user, & a loser – trashy and hilarious

You may remember actress Jaime Pressly from such shows as Trailer Park Boys rip off series My Name is Earl. She’s the one who played the blond tramp who was constantly trying to kill her ex husband – Scientology Jason Lee. Jason Lee may have never worked out his karma, but karma recently caught up with the hot trampy blond. The TV slut got busted driving around Santa Monica at about 11 PM. The cops noticed some erratic driving, pulled over the actress, and performed a field sobriety test; which the little slut failed! After that she got whisked away to the Lindsay Lohan Celebrity Holding Cell and held on 15 000 bail!

Now just because Pressly played a drugged out drunken tramp on TV is no reason why she has to act like one in real life – though you have to admire her commitment to holding up the image! Still let’s give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe all those years on Earl finally caught up with her. Since it was about the only significant role that she has ever had it was bound to make an impression on her little bleached blond head. She did do more than one hilarious mug shot back in her trailer park days. Lets have a little look back at JP’s greatest hits!

So Ms Pressly has had some practice in posing for mugshots. IN fact she cut a merry figure indeed, back in her Earl heyday. In real life she seems much more crest fallen. Then again, as Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton, and numerous others could have told Ms Pressly, the real thing is a lot different then say the Earl thing. So even though she got tons and tons of attention over it, it might not be much to smile about.

We should give Ms. Jaime a break though. This was bound to happen. It’s been brewing ever since her bachelorette party! That was when she got photographed by some near by paparazzi while performing “dare number 8“. Lest you ask what dare number 8 was, here’s one those embarrassing pictures!

Jaime laughed that one off, claiming that it was a fake. She claimed that she poured water out from a near by bottle, just out of site of the cameras. Still the whole deal was embarrassing enough tog et her featured in infamous celebrity blog Perezhilton. So after that, you’d think getting featured in a real life mugshot would be a snap! She’d better shape up though, or her next role will be as Jerri Blank!

Going Straight – sort of

BTW To avoid confusion Jaime Pressly is the girl from Earl, and not the psycotic girlfriend from season 2 of Dexter. That would be another Jaime – Jaime Murray. Ms Murray has not been involved in any criminal activity, but spends her time quietly, avoiding men and hanging with ex Dex castmate Julie Benz – *wink, wink*. Now don’t go thinkin’ about that too much or you’ll get moist as a snack cake down there, or at least all mildewy!


Gary Collins goes rogue

Gary Collins is in a whole heap of trouble. For those who don’t know who Collins is he’s a former morning show host and a celebrity drunk. These days he’s much better known as a celebrity drunk. Every so often Mr. Collins likes to get liquored up and get behind the wheel. Mr. Collin’s publicists might debate that. The court’s wouldn’t. Gary has had a few vehicohol related arrests, including a recent one.

Collins was supposed to show up in court on Nov 4rth regarding his most recent infraction. However for some unknown reason Collins was a no show. So the judge got mad and issued a $100 000 warrant for the rogue celebrity’s arrest. The judge is taking this so seriously not only because Collins is showing a Lindsay Lohan style disregard for the law, but also because he is a two time offender. In his most recent vehicular mishap, down in Mississippi, one of the passengers in the car he hit swears that GC was boozed up behind the wheel. Of course Collins got off on a hit and run charge for that.

The sad part is that Collins was due in court for a probation hearing. Had he shown up the judge probably would have terminated the probation. Now Gary is looking at tons of trouble and possibly jail time.

In other news a heavily pregnant Miranda Kerr was seen out and about showing off her baby bump. The bump is getting obvious however most of Miranda’s weight gain seems to be in and around her valuable face, which has swollen up like a volleyball. Just take a look at these shocking pictures!

Whether or not Miranda might be described as “radiant“, she has surely looked happier.

If you’re like most celebrities then you can be a little flighty. That might incline you to misplace things; like your cell phone full of incriminating text messages, your lap top with that home made sex tape in it, or that drug stash that you didn’t think was still in your purse when the cops pulled you over. Khloe Karadashian has lost stuff to. In her case it was her virginity, and she spoke about that at length on the View recently. Here’s what she had to say:

‘He was only I think, 18, but from 14 to 18 now looking back, I think that’s not a normal thing. I feel like I was almost conned; well, not conned, but persuaded. He was older and I felt I wouldn’t be accepted or cool or whatever. Then I do remember when I was done, I felt, after two months of secretly dating this guy, I felt so disgusted with myself.’ Adding, ‘I stopped talking to him and actually didn’t have sex for three years after that because I knew I was young and I knew I wasn’t ready.’

Bristol Palin couldn’t have put it as well.

Finally we end where we began, with celebrity drunks. If you’re a regular gossip follow then you heard about David Cassidy’s run in with the law. He got caught down on the Florida turnpike weaving all over the road. When some friendly officers stopped him and asked if anything was wrong, he replied that he was tired, was coming from a funeral, had taken a glass of wine and a pain killer for his back, etc. Law enforcement officers saw right through his numerous excuses to the half empty bottle of bourbon rolling around the back seat and placed yesteryear’s version of Justin Bieber under arrest for impaired driving.

Even though the cops had him on dash cam, the actor maintained that he was not drunk. He made a public statement saying that he would never endanger the lives of his fans, and the some what indifferent greater public, by driving around the turnpike juiced up like a rogue torpedo shot from a loose cannon. His spokes persons then made some official statements standing by the funeral-back-wine-pill-missed yoga story.

Well Keith Partridge has made it official. His attorney has just recently submitted his not guilty plea to a Florida court, and in writing no less. Dave was not present at the hearing. If he gets busted on this he’s looking at a $1000 fine and as much as 6 months in prison – though some kind of rehab is far more likely. Rehab is the new community service. Also he really should seek some psycho therapy to get closure on his Susan Dey hang up. If Dexter Morgan can marry Deb you’re in the clear Keith.

BTW I cannot confirm the rumor that Gary Collins is currently in Canada and seeking refugee status – but don’t be surprised if it’s true.


David Cassidy DUI

marshmallow stars

David Cassidy Mug Shot

Celebrities can have fits of bad judgment. This is especially true if the poor wretches are former child stars. Among child stars names like Danny Bonaduce usually get the bad ink. Danny’s Partridge Family co stars have have kept their noses clean – with the exception of Susan Dey and her battle with anorexia. That is until now. Reports are coming in that another member of the musical TV clan has gotten into some legal trouble and this time it’s – wait for it – David Cassidy.

Cassidy played the oldest son and lead singer on the early 70’s hit show. He was also one of the original TV teen heart throbs, along with Ricky Nelson and Bobby Goldsboro. He was fairly well connected too. Shirley Jones who played his mom on the show was also his step mother in real life. She was married to Dave’s dad – star of stage screen and TV Jack Cassidy. His mother is Evelyn Ward. Since both parents were performers they toured constantly. So Dave was raised by his grandmother in New Jersey. His relationship to his parents can’t be called close – they were divorced for 2 years before David found out!

Life was to improve when David entered the family business. As Keith Partridge he became one of the most popular TV performers in the 1970’s. That’s the show that also gave us Danny B and Susan Dey. After the show went off of the air Cassidy’s career moved into low gear. He did some live Vegas style performances. He also briefly volunteered to be former co star Danny Bonaduce’s sobriety coach. Neither of these projects blossomed into long term career options.

David got by. He continued to perform. He wrote an autobiography. He married a slew of attractive woman and fathered several children. He continued to speak fondly of co star Susan Dey, whom he said had a massive crush on him but wasn’t slutty enough for his tastes. Not surprisingly communications between the former co stars broke down – “on her end not mine” Cassidy reports. Oh yeah, and he also recently got busted for DUI!

David was careening around the Florida turnpike in his White Mercedes Wednesday even – and by careening I meant hat he was all over the road – when some friendly officers pulled him over and inquired into his condition. Since Dave had a little trouble standing up without swaying from side to side, the officers administered field sobriety tests. That lead to Keith Partridge being hauled off to the can! It also lead to the latest celebrity mug shot!

Dave registered a 1.41 on the breathalyzer (having once blown a 1.55 I can tell you that’s a lot of drinking! Now that’s a story, but since I’m not a celebrity it gets to stay secret.). DAve copped to a drink at diner, plus he said he popped a hydrocodone – which might have made him seem moer drunk than he was. The officers found a half empty bottle of Labrot Graham Woodford Reserve Kentucky Bourbon in the back seat, and that made them suspect that Cassidy was way more drunk than he was willing to let on. So that meant that Dave had to spend some time on their company. Up until 3 AM when he was released on $350 bail, that is.

Not surprisingly Dave takes issue with the official story. Well his PR rep Jo-Ann Geffen is. According to her his side is that Dave was not drunk. For one thing Dave, via his mouthpiece, claims that officers screwed up the breathalyzer – so the results are not valid. At least he didn’t claim that Mark Furhman was administering the test (though Fuhrman might well have been. I can’t imagine that his career went anywhere but down after his own brush with fame). Dave also insists that he wasn’t 100% that day. he’d attended a funeral that morning. So the poor fellow was worn out. Now he does cop to taking a glass of wine, and the hydrocodone. His back was out (that excuse again) and he needed to do something about the pain. However he was not swinging down bourbon behind the wheel like some good ole boy on his way to a NASCAR day at the races. Dave insists that he would never endanger fellow motorists in that way! The up shot of that is that at least he knows why what he allegedly did was wrong – which puts him light years ahead of your average celebrity offended (Nick Hogan for instance). That’s good, since it means the situation isn’t serious enough for a Partridge Family Celebrity Rehab Reunion!

Tom Cruise & the Legion of Superheroes!

IN other news: last night’s election results may have shaken many Americans – the ones @ MSNBC anyway (Hang in there Contessa Brewer), but never fear. Help is open the way because Tom Cruise has a plan. The former A List actor recently announced that he is going to end the war on terror by converting Al Qaidaist from backward Islam to enlightened Scientology. Once the auditing kicks in then they’re bound to see the error of their ways, and understand that the real enemy isn’t Wall Street Bankers, British Petroleum (they’re part of the Illuminati!), or the Rove-Cheney Gang; but Xenu and the minions of darkness! Here’s apicture of Tom cavorting with a cause!

You have to admire Tom’s attempt to find a peaceful resolution to this difficult situation. Hopefully, with greater awareness, differences can be worked out, and an optimal resolution reached. If not, Tom has a Plan B – and that involves ass whipping Mission Impossible style. To that end he has Jessica Alba on stand by and in a cat suit!

Jessica normally doesn’t prowl the streets of LA dressed like Catwoman, but Tom has her on speed dial and the call could come at any moment. So she has to be ready to swing into action at a moment’s notice. It’s reassuring to know that we can rest securely since celebrities are on the job. I just hope that Tom and Jessica haven’t hired Keith Partridge as their wheel man in this caper!


Brand Gets Busted

Brit funny man Russell Brand has got himself into a spot of bother. Russ was passing through LAX with his lovrely fiancee Katy Perry when a cameraman decided to take some pix. Russell objected to the guy photographing Ms Perry, and push came to shove. That’s when the camera man decided to make a citizens arrest. Brand was nabbed by airport security and whisked off to a holding area, to await the arrival of LA finest.

When the boys in blue arrived they placed Brand under formal arrest, and then took him off for booking, and a mugshot. As of posting time Brand is being held on 20 000 bail, and may ultimately face 6 months in prison. Needless to say the prison time could put a serious crimp in his plans to film a remake of Arthur!

Brand isn’t the only celeb to get into trouble recently. Lindsay Lohan has flunked yet another court mandated drug test. Naturally this is a parole violation, so Lohan could be looking at more slammer time herself. In fact the presideing judge threatened Lohan with 30 days in jail for each parole violation. The usual un named sources have confirmed that Lohan blew the test, but have refused to name the substance detected.


Paris Hilton Busted for Cocaine

more hookery than usual

paris hilton mugshotSeems like Paris Hilton can’t stay out of trouble for very long. Just last night she was put cruising on the Las Vegas Strip (and outside outside the Wynn Hotel) when she got pulled over by the cops. Las Vegas’ finest observed what they thought was marijuana smoke coming out of the window of Hilton’s black Escalande. Now since Hilton probably wasn’t participating in a vote by the College of Cardinals – even online – the fuzz felt that they had could grounds to further investigate.

Further investigation revealed that Paris had cocaine on her. Not much cocaine, but just enough for her to be charged with a count of felony possession (class e). In case you’re not a regular Law & Order viewer a felony is more serious than a misdemeanor. In fact it’s a big league criminal charge! That lead to Paris and her new BFF Cy Waits to get booked into Clarke Country Jail.

Though the charges were serious, Paris skated only a few short hours later, on bail (thanks to lawyer David Chesnoff). She was busted at approximately 11:30 PM. By about 3;30 Am she was back home again and on Twitter. Now she made no Twitter mention of her recent misfortune. She just popped online long enough to tell everyone that she was home, getting ready for bed, and watching Family Guy. Oh yeah, and “xoxox, everyone” from Paris.

As for poor Cy, well he wasn’t so fortunate. Even though he’s the very man who helped Paris thwart a home invasion by a gun wielding intruder earlier in the week – he didn’t get sprung along with Paris. Cy had to wallow in prison under a charge of driving while intoxicated. So whether or not crime pays, we can say that Paris is a poor person to stand next to when lightening strikes. Though she has an excellent raincoat, she doesn’t provide much coverage to anyone else.

“the-drugs-weren’t-mine” defense

BTW Paris already has a fantastic alibi that might even make an unlikely legal defense. The coke was found in her purse, and she claims that the purse isn’t hers. This is the same defense she used earlier this year in South Africa, where she got busted for pot possession. Sources say the fact that she got released so quickly on bail is an indication of how seriously the prosecution is taking the case. The fact that her boyfriend de jour Cy Waits got held may indicate that he’s being set up as fall guy – but who knows. The drugs were found in her purse, and she was the only woman in the car at the time of the bust. Paris however insists that she had just come from a night club where oodles of women, and their purses, were present. So maybe she grabbed up the wrong purse because she was too stoned to notice. Anyone would buy that if they were on a jury, right? Perhaps, if jury duty lowers your IQ by 15 points!

Also the above mugshot of Paris shows her looking as good as ever. Hopefully she will whether this storm as she has her others. The pressures of fame can take a lot out of you. Take Sarah Palin for instance. She’s been America’s heart throb ever since John McCain discovered her as a running mate via google search (Since then Sarah has moved up in the world, and onto Twitter! She always was an ambitious girl with an eye to her future!). Though she was an attractive lady at the time, her brush with fame has left her looking the worse for wear. Just take a look at this most recent Sarah Palin picture!

sarah palin candidOf course she got herself prettied up for her big Tea Party Rally. On a totally unrelated note – for our Sunday Wondertrash matinee: here’s an example of how movies can make anything look good, especially evil – with Triumph of the Will.


The Fabulous Clip Joint

liv tyler bilked out of 200 000 by celebrity hair stylistHow much does a really smart A List hair style cost? If you’re Liv Tyler it could run up to $200 000! To be clear that not only includes the cost of the hair cut, but also all the additional charges that could get run up on your credit card without your knowledge. Lovely Liv favors a salon called Chez Gabriela Studio, run by Maria Gabriela Perez. Perez boasts an A List clientele including the likes of Cher, Jennifer Aniston, and Anne Hathaway. It’s not only the glitterati that are beating a path to her door. Wednesday afternoon the Secret Service dropped by with an arrest warrant.

Allegedly Ms Perez was making free and easy with the credit card numbers of some of her celebrity clients. Ms Tyler, in particular, got hit up for 214 000 over the course of 5 months! She’s also accused of running up 68 000 in charges on the card of an unnamed jewelry designers. This is heavy shit, and could land the hair stylist in the klink for as much as 25 years!

Jennifer Aniston was a former client of Chez Gabriella, but left after a falling out. Jen says: We had a situation that was not cool, so I stopped going to her. Paid her the money and left. … I knew something like this would eventually happen. A lawyer for Perez says: At this time she is innocent of all charges. She is a legitimate business woman who provides legitimate services. We are confidant when the facts come out my client will be exonerated of all charges. Ms Perez better hope that some of her lawyer’s faith in her rubs off on the Secret Service!

Annie get your gun

In other news Sarah Palin has shown that she just doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut. Sarah had just cracked the difficult Levi Johnston problem. According to a story in the National Enquirer Palin felt that she had no chance as a 2012 presidential run as long as Levi was running his mouth publicly about her. So she lured him into a false sense of security by urging Bristol to get friendly with him, and invite him to spent quality time with the family.

The plan worked and Levi retracted all the stuff he said. He claimed that it was merely youthful indiscretion on his part. Damned by his own retraction anything he might say in the future would be regarded skeptically. However the plan hit a snag when Bristol and Levi announced their engagement and plans for a reality TV show. Sarah didn’t see that one coming. When the news broke that Levi had knocked up another young woman – a childhood friend of Bristol’s – the engagement was off and everything was coming up Sarah.

Soon Sarah herself would put a spanner in the works. The former Alaskan governor has recently coming out voicing support for disgraced radio shrink Dr Laura Schlessinger. Schlessinger got into a heap of trouble for using the N word repeatedly on air in response to a woman calling for advice on dealing with racist in laws. That lead to a speedy mea culpa on the partof Ms Schlessinger, and eventually her retirement announcement.

Palin has taken to twitter to support Schlessinger, claiming that she believes that Dr Laura’s 1st amendment right to use racial charged language has been suppressed. Below are Palin’s tweets:

palin tweets support for dr laura schlessinger
palin tweets supprt for schlessinger

Now it should be pointed out that Schlessinger’s right to use racist language has not been suppressed. She can stick her head out the window and holler the N word at passer bys to her heart’s content if that’s what she wishes. However privately owned radio concerns don’t owe her a forum. That’s the technicality on which Dr Laura’s persecution argument falls down. To give Laura credit, she’s claiming that she will continue to voice her controversial opinions on her own time, and at her own expense, by way of youtube and the blogosphere. Freedom of speech within a free market context is as much as any conservative has a right to expect. No word yet on how this affects Palin’s presidential hopes, but I don’t think she’s planning a Mel Gibson defense or anything.

sarah palin reloads for dr laura schlessinger


George Michael goes wham in car – gets arrested.

Oh boy, George

George Michael was one toke over the line one more timeWhile George Michael may be no Boy George, but he’s no stranger to trouble either. For instance he got busted performing a lewd action in a public washroom. He’s just lucky that happened before Twitter come on line!

idling trouble

Georgie has also had his share of car trouble. It’s usually the Lindsay Lohan type technical problems like “I temporarily lost track of the road while I was trying to figure out which steering wheel to focus on!” Those troubles have been pretty well documented, even the time that the cops hauled him off after finding him sitting up asleep behind the wheels of his parked but idling car. George may have got a reduced sentenced based on his “I wasn’t asleep; I was just resting my eyes!” defense.

“The car did it!”

Well the former Wham front man is gonna have to go digging deep into his bag of tricks for another clever story because George has had yet more trouble with cars and cops. Here’s the official story about that.

That report leaves a lot to be inferred. That’s what you call talking between the lines.

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