Halle Berry Fallout

Fair lady – Stormy weather

Halle Berry‘s life has enough drama for any ten lunatics. It seems like there’s always a “Storm” brewing around her. Take just recently for example. Halle was enjoying Thanksgiving in her spacious home with her foreign lover Oliver Martinez when her ex foreign lover Canuck Gabby Aubry showed up with daughter Nahla as per court agreement. Court agreements might be some kinda sort spot at Casa del Berry what with Halle getting denied permission to take her daughter away from the horde of stalkers psychos and paparazzi she says is stalking her and over to the relatively safety & civility of la Belle France. Court said no way cause Nahla’s dad was just too important a part of the little girl’s life. So you can see how any reminder of the courts intrusions into Halle’s beautiful life might be unwelcome triggers for ballistics!

if you push my buttons I’ll pull your trigger

Ballistics is what happened because current and ex came to blows. To put it in a nut shell Martinez “allegedly” con fronts Aubry and tells him that the time has come to move on. That sets Aubry off – he and Martinez might share a version of the same language and (former & present) relationships with the same woman, but that’s where it ends. Gabriel raised his fist in anger – so we’re told – and let fly. Marty let him have the first one or two, but then nailed him and pinned him to the ground – breaking Gabby’s jaw and rib in the process (& and also causing unspecified head injuries).

What’s the big Hallebaloo?

Now men can be beasts. Fortunately Halle had it under control. While the men folk were busy trying to kill each other Halle got right on the phone and called the cops! Maybe inspired by her good example Martinez places battered Gabby under citizen’s arrest, and hands him over to official authority types when they arrive. Gabby is then whisked off to hospital to gets his injuries tended to, and then off to the pokey for booking. That’s cause Marty pressed charges. If you saw the lump on his highly photogenic knuckle you wouldn’t blame him either! Anyway Aubry got held on $20 000 bond or something – so that’s a couple of grand his Halle lawyers won’t get, and then was released.

more knuckle headed publicity

Now the think about Halle is that she’s a real trooper – as she herself will tell you in her “plain old crackers” way. Being an attractive superheroines has it’s difficulties, which she has had to struggle with her entire life! So when shit happens you don’t let it get to you. You keep clam and carry on as if you were normal. That’s just what Halle did, by getting out and about in public. It gave Marty a chance to show off his manly knuckle boo boo too! Here’s a picture of that.

Shit-ade

Sometimes life hands you a turd – count on Halle to make Shit-ade out of it! Halle however is not one to leave her Shit-ade half stirred! Life goes on! So Halle was determined to get out there and display a positive attitude. Perhaps with that in mind she took young Nahla off for an enjoyable after noon out. Mother and daughter took in something called Yo Gabba Gabba . Now that’s not something Halle takes to make her easier to live with – like an L Dopa inhibitor – and washed down with a glass of that Shit-ade. Yo Gabba Gabba is a kids show that young Nahla is wild about. So Halle thought it would be good to indulge the young girl. A thoughtful way to take her wee mind off of her father’s recent beating and booking. So off they went to the Nokia Theater in Hollywood (though it should be mentioned that Halle pronounces “theater” as “theatre” now, because she’s with a Frenchman and planning on moving to France).

Halle goes from ballistic to staging a small invasion!

Halle’s a thoughtful woman and this time she thought of everything. For instance when she went to Yo Gabba she covered the angels. That means she traveled with an armed escort. You might think that I’m exaggerating or perhaps even being sarcastic when I write that If Benazir Bhutto had traveled around with this kind of goon squad she’s be alive today! Just to show that I’m on the level in everything I write, here’s a photo of Halle & Delta Force 1!

You & what army?

The above might seem a little bit excessive but don’t blame Halle. Some mothers are over protective! Besides – you cynically suspicious celebrity gossip readers – how do you even know that the armed guard is for Halle and Nahla? It might be for Martinez. Think about it – he popped his good knuckle mangling Aubry’s face. So now he’s defenseless, while Aubry still has many other body parts to work with! What if Aubry pops out of the bushes and ambushes Marty? Why he might attack Marty’s foot with the seat of his pants or something. So naturally Martinez must be terrified. Halle, being the thoughtful woman she is, may have called out an armed guard to keep things under control, because she wants this relationship to work, for a change.

Coming soon – more of the same?

So far we’ve had a Thanksgiving Day Fist Fight, a military style invasion of the Nokia Theater, or Theatre, in addition to numerous court battles. So many of you might be now asking “What next?” If you are then you haven’t been paying attention. What comes next is probably gonna be more court battles & legal issues. The big question is how far is it gonna go, how long can it go on, and how crazy is it gonna get? To find out the answers to those question you might have to keep reading Wondertrash, the blog that gives celebrities the benefit of the doubt no matter how far fetched it might be! That goes double when they’re a super heroine!

bullshit disclaimer

Coming Soon – Shocking Scandals! 

Angelina Jolie – things are as bad as you thought!

There are some stories currently in development that could quite literally shake the entertainment world straight to it’s foundations. I can’t too much about what we’re cooking up but this picture was recently smuggled out of Angelina Jolie’s residence and confirms some worst suspicions!

In other news: though Anne Hathaway is now happily married tot he guy she was dating for several years, the sad news is that she is still a mind control MK Ultra monarch slave! That was reported right here on this blog back when she had her programming meltdown on the Conan O Brien show and broke out in rap. Anne has starred in many MK Ultra themed movies over the years starting with the Princess Diaries (hidden bloodline programming) followed up by Ella Enchanted ( Magical Power Slave script). Hopefully Anne will break free of the terrible mind control used to keep her enthralled. Meanwhile remember that you don’t get this kind of dish from Tila Tequila!

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Halle Berry’s ex takes a beating

Halle is hell

Something was bound to happen after Halle Berry lost that custody case and it has happened with a vengeance. It started innocently enough when her ex Gabriel Aubry dropped their daughter off at Berry’s home following a custodial visit. Berry’s current guy Oliver Martinez was there and friction developed.  According to reports Martinez walked up to Gabby and said something. Gabby took a swing. Martinez then proceeded to beat the living shit out of Aubry. Beat the living shit in this case means that Aubry got a busted rib, broken jaw, and other unspecified head injuries. So Aubrey had to go to hospital  Then Martinez charged him – that’s adding insult to injury! Martinez was working over time this Thanksgiving because when the cops showed up he proceeded to make a citizens arrest!

by 
Halle Berry was the unfortunate referee of a fight between ex-boyfriend Gabriel Aubry and current fiancé Olivier Martinez on Thursday morning. The fight left Aubry hospitalized and in jail. Martinez was taken to the hospital, but released.The two men got in a verbal argument that quickly escalated to a physical altercation, according to reports. The fight took place at Berry’s home on Thanksgiving morning, and the two have had known problems in their relationships with Berry. She recently lost a court petition to move to France with daughter Nahla and Martinez.Berry was the one to call the police, and Martinez issued a citizen’s arrest of Aubry in order to keep the calm until police could arrive. Aubry was first taken to the hospital, where he was treated for a broken rib and facial contusions. He was then released into the custody of the Los Angeles police and, at last report, is still awaiting booking.

They say that every cloud has a silver lining but it’s hard to find a bright spot here, except possibly the realization that some one some where is having a way worse Thanksgiving than you are, and having it in the can with their mug on the tabs (and in blogs such as this one!). That can actually be a little reassuring, depending on how bad your day has been going.

So let’s see what He does for poor Gabriel Aubry. God hasn’t dealt with Halle Berry lately.

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