Affleck on Lopez

Ben Affleck regrets the whole Bennifer thing. Let’s face it, the whole deal was worse for business than NAFTA. Which is not to say that he doesn’t like the artist formerly known as JLo, alias Jennifer Lopez,  personally. In fact he still keeps in touch with her – not literally but virtually. They exchange occasional text messages to praise and compliment each other. For instance JLo has text him about his new movie looking good. Benj has got one coming out so JLo’s seal of approval is probably worth mentioning – if only for attention. Benj e mailed her about American Idol, which he thought was a  smart move. She quit that so it probably wasn’t worth mentioning, even if you only mentioned it by way of the DailyMail.

Tips of the day: Celebrities should never change their names to anything shorter if they’re eventually planning on changing their names back again. This is because the shorter name is easier to type, and so it will probably stick. JLo will for ever be known that way because it’s just easier than typing in Jennifer Lopez. Then again they say that the point is to create something that lasts for ever – though in many cases the only things people create that seem to last for ever are their mistakes.

This useful tip is for bloggers. We’re currently in an election. So if you want to get an edge with the search engines then just litter your post with political terms like presidential, worse than NAFTA, jihad, war on whatever, etc. Anything that could be borrowed from a political blog or talk radio and then fit into a general context might boost your blog like a dark horse candidate in the poles. So go on and broaden your constituency!


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Demi Moore Hospitalized

Demiconscious – was Ashton tired of a life of tranny tyranny and oppression?

may you live in interesting times – between rehab

Demi Moore has lead an interesting life. She was a major motion picture actress back in the 80’s and 90’s. Then she had a hi profile marriage to another major 80’s and 90’s personality, Bruce Willis. He’s the guy who sold your parents on Seagram’s Vodka Coolers with his cool Rat Packish charm. He and Demi were one of those power couples, like Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford, or later on Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

truth or consequence – fake it or make it: if Burton and Taylor couldn’t do it then what chance did the real Anthony & Cleopatra have?

As much as everyone talks about soul mates, finding your significant other and completing that power circuit doesn’t make everything fall into your out stretched and eager hand. It didn’t work out for Marc Anthony and Cleopatra; nor even Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez. That’s to say nothing of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Even a cutesy combo moniker like Bennifer didn’t save them. So eventually and for undisclosed reasons Bruce and Demi split up.

Too good to be true or too fast to last? Maybe just too naked to make it.

Demi went on to live a rich and full life. It was the style to which she was accustomed. She had after all appeared naked and pregnant (though not necessarily in that order) on the cover of Vanity Fair. So she was an unconventional ground breaker. Maybe that’s why she pounced on Asthon Kutcher with the fury of a hungry cougar on the hunt. To the world’s astonishment they got married. Meanwhile, as Asthon became MoD to her kids (that ‘my other dad’ and not ‘ministry of defense’, for our Brit readers), Bruce hung around smiling and supportive. They were often photographed together on vacation, at premiers, etc & etc, with a camaraderie that the Three Musketeers might have envied. If Bruce seemed like he was waiting in the wings then maybe he was asking himself what many others were thinking “How long can this thing last?”

2 1/2 men a re hard to find

It lasted longer than he might have expected, because eventually Bruce went off and got married. That’s okay cause Demi still had Ashton. That’s is until cracks started developing. Eventually, and at about the same time Ashton took over the lead in 2 1/2 Men, things came to ahead. it was announced that the couple were divorcing. Stories came out about open marriages – & to give them the benefit of the doubt maybe it was in the Newt Gingrich traditional family values GOP sense. Then the divorce talk began. Statements were made about unacceptable behavior. The kids announced that Ashton was no longer MoD. He had been demoted to ‘good looking creep that broke mom’s heart’.

http://embed.5min.com/517229604/

more overhauls than the bionic woman

Now the people who had been asking “how long can this go on?” were asking “How is she gonna take it?” “Hard” seemed a pretty good guess. Demi had spent a ton on cosmetic surgery. As much as $600 000 by some accounts. Consensus seemed to be that this was an attempted to keep her much younger husband interested. There’s no refund on plastic surgery (& no undo button either). So she might have invested too much of herself in this venture.

inside out and outside thin – looking bad thinking worse

Well people were about to get there answer. Demi started looking thin. People began talking eating disorder, and some were no doubt thinking “under stress”. Some were probably thinking drugs worse. She gave magazine interviews in which she admitted to doubting her ability and worthiness to be loved. Then things really came to a head.

a gathering of superfriends

On Jan 11 Dems was out at an undisclosed spot living it up. She was surrounded by young celebs like Miley Cyrus, Pauly D (Jersey Shore) DelVecchio, and Brody Jenner. Only the presence of Kim Kardashian and a couple of Bachelorettes might’ve made that who’s who complete! In spite of looking ‘super skinny’ among the young and sexy, Demi managed to get totally trashed and wound up dancing on tables. Or at least an eyewitness tells US Weekly! She also got kinda friendly with young Ryan Rottman, of 90210 fame. There was some shirt unbuttoning and chest tickling involved, according to People, but you’re gonna have to hit that link to find out who unbuttoned and tickled whom.

the red pill or Red Bull?

On Jan 15 Demi accompanied her daughter Rumor out to Sean Penn’s Cinema for Peace Event Benefiting J/P Haitian Relief Organization in L.A. Maybe Demi was feeling a little wild and girlish, but she downed about 12 Red Bulls. She seemed glad to be out and ready to unwind. She took numerous pix on her iPhone and was glad to see anyone approached her. This might have been a reaction to a night out on the 13th when she ran into Ashton. That was an awkward run in at a West Hollywood Golden Globes party in which they spent most of the evening avoiding each other. Naturally a gal might need to blow off steam after that. Unfortunately Demi didn’t get it out of her system.

riding for a fail

If Dems was riding for a fall no one was coming right out and saying. Not until a couple of days ago at least. That’s when TMZ broke the news that Moore had been hospitalized. According to TMZ paramedics were called about 10:45 to come and make an appearance. She was assessed for 30 mins and then transported to a local hospital. Some reports said that there was a substance abuse issue (usually in Hollywood ‘substance abuse issue’ means an issue about which substance is being abused). Demi’s rep told TMZ

“Because of the stresses in her life right now, Demi has chosen to seek professional assistance to treat her exhaustion and improve her overall health. She looks forward to getting well and is grateful for the support of her family and friends.”

whip it!

The plot thickened. It was soon revealed that the ambulance got called after Moore had started doing whip its‘. For those not among the beautiful people – and I pity you! – ‘whip its’ are nitrous oxide! People of Demi’s age and income bracket don’t usually do them, but Demi has been hangin’ with a young fast crowd lately (remember when fentanyl lollipops were cool? That was a more innocent time). Apparently Demi had inhaled a dangerous amount and had a reaction. When she lapsed into semi consciousness a friend became concerned and called the ERT. According to some reports she even had the symptoms of a seizure!

Up-to-date, nihilist whiz hoaxes

Where does that leave Demi right now, besides ‘hospitalized with exhaustion’? Moore was cast in the new Linda Lovelace biopic, as Gloria Steinem (not that being offered Gloria Steinem instead of the Linda Lovelace lead depressed Ms. Moore, but it couldn’t have helped). She’ll probably have to bow out of that (ooh – a part for Katherine Heigl!). She’s got some issues to deal with before she can do movies. For one thing in addition to alleged substance abuse issues, the actress is also said to be dealing with anorexia. So it seems that Moore is on the road to rehab, if not recovery. At least there she may be able to get the treatment for issues including “exhaustion” she seems to need. After an intensely interesting life a rest can be as good as a change!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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