baby, baby

James & Woods

It’s been awhile since we’ve heard about Tiger Woods. He’s career and public image went sideways ever since his umpteen sluts came out of the wood work. With that much loose DNA floating around it was only a matter of time before a love child came to light.

Devon James, a former fling fo the swinging golfer, has now come forth claiming that Tiger knocked her up. She claims to have gotten in the post modern family way back in 2000. She didn’t tell Tiger, and didn’t see him again until 2005. She claims that she was afraid that tiger would take her child from her. Since Tiger had a ferocious wife, and a family guy image to protect, that explanation sounds unlikely.

Now Tiger has neither the ferocious wife, nor the image to protect. He’s also so beleaguered with legal problems stemming from his off the green activities, that James feels safe to venture forth. She’s filed some official papers for palimony & child support. Plus she is now claiming, as reported on TMZ, that the Tiger gave her some gifts.

The gifts came back in 2006 – 2008 when Woods & James began seeing each other again. That’s also about the time James worked up the nerve to tell Tiger that he had a son. While Tiger refused to acknowledge the kid, he did pass along the official Tiger Love Child Gift Basket – a mini golf club, a bracelet, and a hat. If the pix of the lad are any indication, he also passed on a family resemblance!

tiger woods being sued for palimony over alleged love childmake room for father

Tiger Woods may be getting some unwelcome news for Father’s Day, but it looks like part time actor and full time poker player Ben Affleck is getting some welcome news. His missus, former Alias hottie (that is that she was formerly on TV show Alias, not that she’s ‘formerly hot’) Jennifer Garner is expecting her 3rd child. Garner was out and about recently, for a hike around the Pacific Palisades. That’s not unusual. What was out of the ordinary was the extra bulge she was carrying with her. The suspicious bulge was no celebrity tote bag or fanny pack crammed full of those things they can’t leave the house without: like premium bottled water, cell phone, black berry, designer sunglasses, emergency facial filler, stash, etc. This bump was squarely centered in the baby making area. So the talk is that the Affleck-Garners are expanding their family. With that big new home they bought they can certainly spare the room.

As to that other Jennifer Garner rumour that’s been floating around it’s safe to say that Jen is not going to be playing Lucille Ball in an upcoming big budget Follywood biopic! Unless, that is, she is.

bottle baby is a boob

Now from actual babies to virtual ones; those grown up celebrities who act like they’re still in diapers. Lady Gaga has got herself in shit with her favourite team, the New York Yankees, by showing up drunk. Nothing wrong with being drunk at a baseball game, but Gaga completely lost whatever composure she might be said to have. She attended Friday wearing a pin stripped Yankees jersey, and no bottoms. She then proceeded to swig whiskey and grope her boobs.

After the game she stormed the Yankees clubhouse uninvited, and even had a run in with ARod. However she was too drunk to speak. She generally made an ass of herself. So now she’s been officially banned by the Yankees from their clubhouse. I guess that baby likes her bottle a little too much! It also looks like Gaga may have unofficially jumped the shark & lost her touch. Sports are still sacred in America. If she wanted to pull this shit then she should have attended the World Cup. Besides, with those thousands of vuvuzelas, Gaga’s annoyance factor would scarcely be noticed.

lady gaga banned from Yankees clubhouse for boozy trampy antics

wondertrash

Sob Stories of the Stars

The life of a celebrity seems glamorous to those of us on the outside looking in. Basically your being paid outrageous sums of money to get you picture taken, party, and travel around the world. It’s like being James Bond but without the obligation to kill anyone (but just because your not obliged doesn’t mean that you can’t – just as long as no one can prove it wasn’t an accident). For those living the dream from the inside out it can be a different matter. Take Britney Spears for instance. She’s had her share of ups & downs, and then some. That roller coaster ride is going to be documented in an upcoming official unauthorized biography! Let’s take a little preview of that.


Robert Pattinson
is currently the hottest young hunk in tinsel town. He got that way by playing a sexy vampire in the movies (note: it worked for Kate Beckinsale too – so if you’re an ambitious and good looking thespian on the way up you know what kind of role to look for – BYOF Bring Your Own Fangs). Even though Bobby is the one girls dream most of getting bit by, he swears that he can’t find a date. Now I’m not sure why that is, unless he gets frightened off when the girls tell him that they want to take him out for a steak. Anyway here’s his version of the sob story.

To add insult to injury when you’re a pro celeb you can get taken for granted. By that i mean no respect. Sometimes you even get arrested and thrown in the klink. Mel Gibson could tell us a thing or two about that. So could rapper Soulja Boy. He some how got in an altercation with the police when he and 40 of his close friends were partying. The police showed up and even though SB swears he was shooting a video he fled the scene. He later returned for his car and that’s when the cops nabbed him – even though he swore that he was only shooting a video. They didn’t like that answer and so charged him with obstruction.

Now I’m sure that these kind of misunderstands come from some kind of communications breakdown. What ever the problem was Soulja is using the obstruction arrest to beef up his street cred. He even posted his mug shot on Twitter! Anyway when life hands you a lemon you make lemonade. It what celebrities do!

Now don’t get me wrong – the life of a pro celeb isn’t all bitching and moaning and rehab. Though the lifestyle has it’s problems, it’s got it’s perks too. Some of the most satisfying are the same kind of perks you and I enjoy, like home, family, friends, community, etc. To illustrate lets take a look at one of the most well liked celebrity couples. Coincidentally (or not) they’re also two of the most down to earth people in entertainment.

wondertrash

Charlie Sheen got hookers out of his system


Charlie Sheen has given a new interview to In Touch magazine, just to let the fans know that everything is just fine. For instance bringing home the new twins makes him feel like a first time father! Now he can’t take all the credit ’cause his new wife Brooke is an amazing mom: caring, concerned, compassionate -all the ‘c’ words. Brooke has something to say too, and that is that Good Time Charlie has finally gotten the hookers out of his system. So did you hear that sad lonely Denise Richards who can’t keep a man or a job. That was added just in case there was anyone who couldn’t read between the lines of that interview. Charlie & Brooke want the world to know that Denise is a C word too – c*nt.

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