Anarchy in the UK

Is this an angry mob, or just another bunch of soccer fans coming from a game?



a sorry story


Prince Charles
and Camilla Parker Bowles have gotten into the news again. Camilla first came to public attention when she married Prince Charles after the death of his 1st wife Diana Spencer. That was far from the beginning of their relations. Charles had seen Camilla way back in his bachelor days. He continued to see her on the sly even after his marriage. Rumors had it that Camilla was the one who picked Diana out for Charles thinking that Diana was a sweet but thick girl, and that they could carry on as usual right under her nose. That takes the pressure off of going behind her back. If Camilla was counting on Diana to be a pasty then she must’ve been sorely surprised.

post modern princess

Somewhere along the line, perhaps after Harry’s birth (Prince, not Potter) the fog started to lift. Diana caught on to what was going on. Instead of taking it lying down, Diana decided to make a spectacle of herself. She also dabbled in self empowerment, fashion, and public relations. She also started complaining to everyone who would listen – including giving that infamous Panorama interview.

post modern fairy tale

It seems that life at the palace wasn’t so fairy story after all. Charles cheating, criticism, and emotional coldness left Diana a basket case. Her in laws didn’t care for her either. That lead to plenty of melodramatics, according to such sources as Andrew Morton. According to some accounts Diana hurled herself down a flight of stairs while pregnant. Another time, during an argument with her husband she slashed her chest; either with her finger nails or with broken glass – I’m not certain. The melodramatics turned Charles off, rather than drawing him back. Perhaps Diana was becoming a handful (& no one likes a handful). Either way a picture was developing of Prince Charming as an ogre, and the beautiful princess practically being held in the dungeon.

We have something in common that no one can ever take away – irreconcilable difference! Now let’s make history!

Having reached the point of irreconcilable difference (marriage at an impasse) there was nothing left but for Charles and Diana to make history. This they did by becoming the first royal couple since England became Christian. The fact that the Queen consented to it to divorce shows how bad thing had become. The Royal Family has been shit terrified of divorce ever sine Edward the 8th took up with Wallace Simpson (poor Ole Eddie never realized why people though his abdication was a tragedy and not romantic). Since the Brit monarch is also head of the Church of England, the Royals regard divorce something the way Superman looks at Kryptonite. Divorce had the ability to derail a Royal.

life and death in the fast lane

Diana bounced back after the bust up, and seemed ready to take on the world. She even hooked up with a hot new guy – Dodi al Fayed. Dodi was a billionaire who’s father owned Harrods. He himself had produced Chariots of Fire, and had dated a bevy of beauties including Brooke Shields. With money and a taste for world class women Diana was his cup of tea. She seemed pretty pleased with him too. The relationship wouldn’t last, but ended when Dodi & Diana’s car hit a support beam (The 13th support beam, for conspiracy theorists – some of whom also claim that the tunnel Diana died in was once a temple in pagan Europe where human sacrifices were offer to the Moon Goddess Diana. That has left them thinking that Diana was an Illuminati blood sacrifice).

Chuck’s chicks

Now if people were pissed off at Chuck before they were lived now. They started referring to Diana as the Queen of Hearts. They began dredging up Charles alleged mistreatment of Diana. They had begun to see the Royals as a bunch of cold blooded reptilian, devoid of emotion, and who’s emotionless had almost stamped out everything human in Diana. They also blamed Camilla for ruining the fairy story – although that trumped up marriage was done before it got started (BTW I hear Angelina Jolie is requesting to play Camilla in an upcoming movie, but only if she can get Jennifer Aniston to play Princess DI!). Parker Bowles was seen as a home wrecker; and that cast her as the wicked witch in the fairy story. They would be even less pleased when Charles married Camilla and she was created the Duchess of Cornwall.

good luck, Chuck
Now the Royals knew that they had to tread lightly. The people ere mighty pissed at them and England is democratic enough to ditch the Monarchy if they so choose – in theory anyway. Diana’s ghost was hanging over the place like a Sword of Damocles. Still, by keeping their mouths shut and not addressing things directly, the issue start to blow over. Plus Helen Mirren’s movie as the Queen helped the public to get things in perspective. Helen got an Oscar, and Camilla was able to show her face in public again, eventually.

let them eat cake & more food for thought

Chuck & Camilla’s notions of London being a safe place for Royals was to get shattered again. Last night Charles and Camilla were out and about the City of London in their 1977 Rolls Royce, attending some kind of charity event of film premier. They picked a bad time because university students had hit the streets protesting a tuition hike. The new rates could double or triple what students currently pay, so many are afraid that they will have to drop out if the rate hikes go through.

here we go again!

That put them in a Toronto G7 Summit state of mind. They’d gone on a violence spree (the leaders of tomorrow!) and were wrecking everything in sight. When the Rolls pulled up they turned on that, two. Charles and Camilla were trapped inside while protesters rocked the car. Photographs showed the Royal couple looking like the were in the middle of the French Revolution and were on the way to the guillotine!

Diana casts a long shadow

We can only guess what was going through Charles and Camilla’s minds at that awful moment. I’m sure that Diana worked her way into their thoughts briefly. Her memory must make them uneasy every time the public gets restless. That only adds to the general burden of Royalty. Kings are always afraid of their people, since they depend on them to reign. Once people figure out that they can live without kings, but kings can’t be kings without them, then the jig is up!

Now here’s a young lady who’s been in a number of tight binds, though never in the royal dungeon. She’s Jessica Alba and this is a video homage to her attempts to make bondage more mainstream! The clip is about 6 minutes, so that ought a give you enough time to do what you need to do – just remember to wipe up when you’re done!

Speaking of the jig being up here’s Gary Bell and the View From Space. Listen for him to mention the Charles & Camilla incident.
http://www.4shared.com/embed/450935741/80bcc745

wondertrash
Advertisements

Jessica Alba gets gagged for Machete

Fit to be tied, bound to be gagged

That seems to happen to Jessica Alba from time to time. By time to time I mean every other film. If you go over Ms Alba’s body of work you’ll find that Jessie winds up bound, gagged, and flexing her big lips like a horse at the bridle in most of the flicks that she does. So does Jessica Alba have a bondage fetish?

The answer is yes and it was her work on Flipper, down in Australia in her early teens, that freaked her up. That show required Ms Alba to be tied up two or three times a season. Bondage was a sort of reoccurring plot device on the show (and probably warped 1000’s of developnig adolescent libidos). Anyway the experoence of being tied up with good looking young actors about her own age must’ve gotten to the young woman. The wriggling and struggling while moaning for help in front of a cast and crew seems to have left an impression.

It was during her Flipper time that Alba was involved in a bizarre incident. She was supposedly kidnapped and missing for about 14 hours. When she was finally found she was bound and gagged in the trunk of a car. No arrest were made and Alba could give no clear description of her abductor. So it was unofficially put down to a teen age girl acting out her abduction fantasy. I say unofficially because no public mischief charges were filed against Alba for her car trunk sexy time.

These things happen to teenaged girls from time to time. Every so often a chick will be found in the trunk of a car covered in duct tape like Tutankhamun in the tomb. She gets rescued by local authorities who put out an APB on a suspect matching a sketchy description. When no one turns up the gal often fesses up, and admits that she tied herself up and locked herself in the truck for kinky sexy kicks.

Not that Alba has to resort to such stunts anymore. Now she’s a professional actress.If she wants tog et herself tied up and viewed by the world, like beef in the butcher shop window, she can just request her latest director to included some bondage scenes in her flicks. Those scenes keep showing up. Many actresses request to have them removed. That is until they pass 35, when they get more open to creepy stuff. They try harder once the bloom of youth of gone. Alba’s been trying hard for a while now.

JessicaAlba.jpg Jessica alba gagged picture by TheBondageking

If you go back over her acting gigs, you’ll find that she been bound and gagged more than any other A List actress her age. Dark Angel alone featured more tie up time than Lynda Carter’s Wonder Woman! Into the Blue featured more Alba gag-gage – that time with duct tape. She got the bondage treatment again in Sin City. In fact the only flicks where Alba hasn’t been featured chomping down on some kind of mouth restraint has been the Fantastic Four flicks. The above photo is from her latest, Machete. Oh yeah, and Alba also enjoys getting tied up for good causes in her spare time, by way of BSMD themed public service announcements!

Gagged ... Jessica Alba in controversial new Declare Yourself advert
Gagged … Jessica Alba in controversial new Declare Yourself advert

https://i1.wp.com/img.metro.co.uk/i/pix/2008/09/albaadvert_450x288.jpg

Speaking of sexy freaks who don’t mind getting tied up, or down, here’s

Fashion’s Night Out 2010 – The Show

.

In keeping with the celebrity sex fetish theme here’s the lovely and talented Anne Hathaway getting tickle tortured.

Wasn’t that a treat? Here at wondertrash you can find more than one way to have a laugh!

wondertrash

A List Plan B

Salty Bear & Sugartits



I had planned to do something about Mel Gibson this morning, maybe referring to those rumours concerning his career. I had planned to write about his plans to resurrect his destroyed career by reuniting with Oksana for a Sonny & Cher type TV variety show. The show would feature Mel, along with Sugartits, and feature the same kind of friendly banter and teasing that S&C were known for, but with that edgy quality we’ve come to expect from M&O via their infamous recorded telephone conversations. You know the kind of stuff:

Mel: “After being seen in public with you – I’ve got no fucking problem doing a movie with a sock puppet beaver!”

Oksana: “Don’t be crazy darling, no one will ever watch you in a movie! That’s the crazy talking, you need you meds!

Mel: “What?” WHAT!? I need to fucking kill you! You fucking cock sucking whore! But first you should get down on your fucking knees in front of this live studio audience – thanks for coming out today by the way. Oksana, I, and especially little Lucia, really appreciate the support. You should get down on your fucking knees and blow me!”

Oksana: “Could you please scream louder Mel? Our special guest the Kings of Leon can’t hear you, plus this crummy tape recorder you bought me isn’t picking up!”

Mel: “Crummy tape recorder? CRUMMY TAPE RECORDER?! Do you know how much the fucking piece of shit tape recorder cost? We’ve got perfectly good recorders right here in this studio! Kings of Leon? How’d you get them? They’ll give us some real credibility!”

Oksana: “Well you know I am a musician, whether you want to believe it or not!”

Mel: “Don’t push my buttons honey ’cause I’ll knock you out right in front of this damn audience – thanks again for coming out – you know I will!”

M&O: “Good night everybody and watch our show again next week when our special guest will be Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger!”

Oksana: “I guess that means Joaquin Phoenix canceled.”

Mel: “Shut the fuck up and say good night like you’ve got some class!”

Fool’s Gold

Instead I thought I’d go with another story about another Hollywood A Lister on the verge of oblivion. That would be Angelina Jolie. The verge of oblivion would be this weeks Box Office Returns. Much touted Salt earned about 31 million dollars. That’s not bad for an opening night. Except that Inception, that bizarre film by Chris Nolan starring Leo DiCaprio in another film without Kate Winslett (I assume that’s why they had to write his character’s wife as dead, and why he couldn’t make it with Ariadne! Gotta preserve that whole Titanic love story thing forever – just give the guy some breathing space. Remember what Love Story did to poor old Ryan O Neal!), the one where no one can quite figure out WTF is going on, came in number one. It earned about 45 – 49 million. That’s after a 30% drop in ticket sales from it’s opening last week. In other words Jolie’s box office performance stank worse than Tom Cruise’s in Valkyrie. Relatively speaking, this is the equivalent of Megan Fox in Jennifer’s Body!

In Hollywood, on the A List, No 2 really isn’t good enough. Especially when you’re a member of Hollywood Holy Family, routinely get front row center at the Oscars or whatever other awards show is going, and are surrounded by a maelstrom of hype that you’ll eventually have to justify. Remember that Jolie hasn’t had real BO success since her Tomb Raider days. Everything after that has been lackluster -except for her tabloid appearances!

So that means Jolie might need to look at Plan B. She could get pregnant yet again. That would be good for 9 months of speculation: Is it Brad’s? Was it artificially conceived? Is it a ploy to keep Brad from going back to Jennifer Aniston? Where outside the USA is she gonna drop it or is she gonna give birth in New Orleans this time to make a political statement? Then she could make an enormous deal with People for the first baby pics. Say $20 million, her usual fee for baby pics and more than she’s accustomed to getting for her film work! You know – more of the same.

She could also do that script she’s been offered. it’s the one where she plays a serial killer who kidnaps a slutty high school cheer leader played by Megan Fox. After Stockholm Syndrome kicks in Megan decides that Angelina is her one chance at freedom from the stifling social restrains she lives with, and so becomes her apprentice. The pair then go on a Thelma & Louise rampage of seduction and destruction together, often competing to see who’s vagina can cause more damage. The idea is a promising one too, except that I hear producers have soured on Jolie, and are offering the project to Meryl Streep,with Anne Hathaway as a runaway bride, rather than cheerleader. Jolie is no longer even second in line for that one, since producers are lining up Betty White in the event that Streep passes on the deal! That would leave Milla Jovovich next up after Hathaway!

Remember to keep reading wondertrash. Though we like to think we’re the blog that can blow your mind, like an IED in your head; we’re more like the National Enquirer meets Mad Magazine! When you’re not reading celebrity gossip, remember to go out this summer and have a ball!

wondertrash

Celebrity Bondage – Adriana Lima

Honey traps and head slaps

Every so often @ wondertrash we like to offer up a little something to lure in those not yet familiar with the blog. More often than not this is blatant pandering to the sex fetish subculture, and in the form of celebrity bondage photomanips. Today’s offering is the lovely Adriana Lima, presented both ball gagged and tape gagged – enjoy yourselves!

Celebrity Bondage - Adriana Lima gagged


So if those pix of Ms. Lima in distress make you wanna emo all over the place, just make sure that you wipe up after yourself! Go on and emo yourself out!

Now in keeping with the fetish theme, here’s Adriana Lima as Catwoman!

adriana lima catwoman

wondertrash
  • Calendar

    • September 2017
      M T W T F S S
      « Apr    
       123
      45678910
      11121314151617
      18192021222324
      252627282930  
  • Search