More Trouble for Earl Girl

7 Simple Dares to fuck up your wedding

https://i1.wp.com/www.radaronline.com/sites/radaronline.com/files/imagecache/350width/jami2A57.jpgIf you’re halfway serious about entertainment gossip, then you’re familiar with the antics of My Name Is Earl girl Jaime Pressly. By antics I mean stunts like pissing in the street and driving around loaded. Now this ain’t stuff she did on the show we’re talking about, but some wacky real life stunts. Her street pissing got caught on camera during her bridal shower. Before anyone could ask whether Bridezilla was marking her territory in an pre wedding estrogen frenzy, Jamie explained that she wasn’t really peeing, it was from a water bottle placed beside her and out of camera range. Oh yeah and it was dare #7 on her bridal party dare list. Since that marriage is currently defunct I guess it wasn’t worth the public urination stunt.

flyin’ high & DUI

As for the DUI – that involved Pressly blowing a 2.2 on the breathalyzer. That’s Boris Yeltsin level drunk (Remember Boris? He was such an alchy that he got caught naked in a Moscow river after a bender – back when he was still running for Pres of that country. He claimed that it was an assignation attempt by his political enemies. Everyone in Moscow split their guts laughing at that – though some in the West almost took it seriously.). So she probably had no business behind the wheel of a car. She was so hi – allegedly – that she could’ve flown without benefit of a plane. Upshot is she got busted and of course plead not guilty. She’s current out on $15 000 bail.

look out for an attack of the Starwhackers!

Well looks like Ms. Pressly has more to worry about then police spot checks. Word is out now that Jaime is in trouble with the IRS. Her trouble stems from about $600 000 in unpaid taxes. The bill breaks down to this: there was some confusion about Ms Pressly’s 2008 taxes, so the IRS filed a $281,699 lien against her back in Sept. 2008. That didn’t get paid (her stylist was handling it *wink*), so another lien of $260,370 got added to that back in Dec. Another lien of $95,080 got tacked on in June 21 (solstice day – do you smell the foul hand of the Illuminati at work?), perhaps just for cheesing of the IRS with her tardiness and giving everyone a hard time. Add those liens up and the total is trouble!

you know you’re in shit when: Pressly’s publicist could not be reached immediately for comment

https://i2.wp.com/comicrelated.com/graphics/solicits/dc/nov09/4DCU/WW%20Cv38.jpgIt’s hard to say (but easy to guess) what Ms. Pressly’s personal problem is (next stop – rehab), beyond drunk driving and public urination; except to say that Pamela Anderson took more than a decade to get herself fucked up that far in arrears (and then she began screwing the electrician just to get her renovations done!). Besides Pam had a genuinely successful career on an international hit TV show – not a supporting role on a TV comedy (though she started out that way – Tool Time), which gave her more rope to hang herself with. Pressly has done this on a shoe string, in comparison.

following Jessica Simpson down the path of blond perdition

Whatever her personal problems, Pressly has a serious financial problem. Her tax beef is on both state and federal levels. Federal is as bad as it gets. No matter how she’s gotten there, though, she is in deep shit this time. The IRS has taken down celebrities before – Wesley Snipes and Willie Nelson; so they’d have no compunction about tossing a TV supporting actress from a defunct show into the slammer. They nailed Martha Stewart for less. Add that messy divorce from entertainment lawyer Simran Singh (divorce a lawyer and the next thing you know you’re in shit with the government – go figure) – since they’ve only been married for a few months it can’t be amicable, no matter what publicists say – and this could be one humdinger of a year for the Earl Girl.

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David Cassidy DUI

marshmallow stars

David Cassidy Mug Shot

Celebrities can have fits of bad judgment. This is especially true if the poor wretches are former child stars. Among child stars names like Danny Bonaduce usually get the bad ink. Danny’s Partridge Family co stars have have kept their noses clean – with the exception of Susan Dey and her battle with anorexia. That is until now. Reports are coming in that another member of the musical TV clan has gotten into some legal trouble and this time it’s – wait for it – David Cassidy.

Cassidy played the oldest son and lead singer on the early 70’s hit show. He was also one of the original TV teen heart throbs, along with Ricky Nelson and Bobby Goldsboro. He was fairly well connected too. Shirley Jones who played his mom on the show was also his step mother in real life. She was married to Dave’s dad – star of stage screen and TV Jack Cassidy. His mother is Evelyn Ward. Since both parents were performers they toured constantly. So Dave was raised by his grandmother in New Jersey. His relationship to his parents can’t be called close – they were divorced for 2 years before David found out!

Life was to improve when David entered the family business. As Keith Partridge he became one of the most popular TV performers in the 1970’s. That’s the show that also gave us Danny B and Susan Dey. After the show went off of the air Cassidy’s career moved into low gear. He did some live Vegas style performances. He also briefly volunteered to be former co star Danny Bonaduce’s sobriety coach. Neither of these projects blossomed into long term career options.

David got by. He continued to perform. He wrote an autobiography. He married a slew of attractive woman and fathered several children. He continued to speak fondly of co star Susan Dey, whom he said had a massive crush on him but wasn’t slutty enough for his tastes. Not surprisingly communications between the former co stars broke down – “on her end not mine” Cassidy reports. Oh yeah, and he also recently got busted for DUI!

David was careening around the Florida turnpike in his White Mercedes Wednesday even – and by careening I meant hat he was all over the road – when some friendly officers pulled him over and inquired into his condition. Since Dave had a little trouble standing up without swaying from side to side, the officers administered field sobriety tests. That lead to Keith Partridge being hauled off to the can! It also lead to the latest celebrity mug shot!

Dave registered a 1.41 on the breathalyzer (having once blown a 1.55 I can tell you that’s a lot of drinking! Now that’s a story, but since I’m not a celebrity it gets to stay secret.). DAve copped to a drink at diner, plus he said he popped a hydrocodone – which might have made him seem moer drunk than he was. The officers found a half empty bottle of Labrot Graham Woodford Reserve Kentucky Bourbon in the back seat, and that made them suspect that Cassidy was way more drunk than he was willing to let on. So that meant that Dave had to spend some time on their company. Up until 3 AM when he was released on $350 bail, that is.

Not surprisingly Dave takes issue with the official story. Well his PR rep Jo-Ann Geffen is. According to her his side is that Dave was not drunk. For one thing Dave, via his mouthpiece, claims that officers screwed up the breathalyzer – so the results are not valid. At least he didn’t claim that Mark Furhman was administering the test (though Fuhrman might well have been. I can’t imagine that his career went anywhere but down after his own brush with fame). Dave also insists that he wasn’t 100% that day. he’d attended a funeral that morning. So the poor fellow was worn out. Now he does cop to taking a glass of wine, and the hydrocodone. His back was out (that excuse again) and he needed to do something about the pain. However he was not swinging down bourbon behind the wheel like some good ole boy on his way to a NASCAR day at the races. Dave insists that he would never endanger fellow motorists in that way! The up shot of that is that at least he knows why what he allegedly did was wrong – which puts him light years ahead of your average celebrity offended (Nick Hogan for instance). That’s good, since it means the situation isn’t serious enough for a Partridge Family Celebrity Rehab Reunion!

http://kwisp.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/steve_urkel.jpg

Tom Cruise & the Legion of Superheroes!

https://mocksure.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/brewer.jpg?w=300

IN other news: last night’s election results may have shaken many Americans – the ones @ MSNBC anyway (Hang in there Contessa Brewer), but never fear. Help is open the way because Tom Cruise has a plan. The former A List actor recently announced that he is going to end the war on terror by converting Al Qaidaist from backward Islam to enlightened Scientology. Once the auditing kicks in then they’re bound to see the error of their ways, and understand that the real enemy isn’t Wall Street Bankers, British Petroleum (they’re part of the Illuminati!), or the Rove-Cheney Gang; but Xenu and the minions of darkness! Here’s apicture of Tom cavorting with a cause!


You have to admire Tom’s attempt to find a peaceful resolution to this difficult situation. Hopefully, with greater awareness, differences can be worked out, and an optimal resolution reached. If not, Tom has a Plan B – and that involves ass whipping Mission Impossible style. To that end he has Jessica Alba on stand by and in a cat suit!


Jessica normally doesn’t prowl the streets of LA dressed like Catwoman, but Tom has her on speed dial and the call could come at any moment. So she has to be ready to swing into action at a moment’s notice. It’s reassuring to know that we can rest securely since celebrities are on the job. I just hope that Tom and Jessica haven’t hired Keith Partridge as their wheel man in this caper!

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Is Mel Gibson a drunken woman beater?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Oksana Grigorieva claims that former lover mel gibson beat her up in a drunken rage, breaking her teeth and giving her a concussion Mel Gibson went his separate way from tart de jour Oksana Grigorieva people asked “What took him so long?” People also wondered whether there might not be more to it. Celebs aren’t known for coming to their sense, at least not without extensive and repeated stays in rehab. Also Grigorieva was dropping some heavy hints along the lines of “The truth will come out” and “You’ll see“. If you love it when gold digging tramps start talking about he truth then you’re gonna dig what comes next. Oksie claims that Mel Gibson is a drunken brute who beat he face off her!

The first assigns that this might not have been an amicable split was when word leaked that Gibson had filed a restraining order against Oksie. Mel’s people filed off the usual bullshit press release claiming that Mel and Oksie were still bosom buds, and that they planned to raise their child jointly. Oksie was soon to call his drunken bigoted ass on that publicly!

Oksie claimed that she was the one who filed for a restraining order. She insists that Mel needed restraining because he was extremely violent. OG says that Mel beat her up in a drunken fit – perhaps about the Jews – during which he broke her teeth and gave her a concussion. Oksie says that she filed the restraining order, out of fear for her well being; and that Mel counter filed in an attempt to get access to his alleged love child.

Oksana did plenty of talking too. At first she didn’t say too much. She gave an interview to TMZ in which she played coy. When asked about the alleged beating she insisted that she couldn’t talk about it. There was a custody issue at stake and her lawyers told her not to talk about it. There were other things that she did want to talk about. She’s “doing great” for instance. Oh yeah and there’s also her alleged music career. Holding on to those unrealistic pipe dreams just shows such a great attitude!

She was to be less closed lipped with TMZ a little later. In a subsequent interview Oksie claimed that Mel beat her up badly back in January. That must’ve been the time Jodie Foster wanted him to do that flick with the beaver. Such humiliation mist be enough to send any A List ego into meltdown.

The wrinkle in the story is that Oksie stayed with Sugar Daddy after the alleged incident. Sources close to Mel Gibson (perhaps some one named Bugdoll, who likes to post semi literate gibberish on various Internet message boards?) have pointed that out claiming it’s proof positive that the bitch made it up. Oksie got an answer for that though: she stayed for a little while cause she loved him. If she’s the one who got the concussion then why does she talk like we’re the ones with brain damage?

Naturally Mel can explain this away. He admits that there was some physical contact back in January, but it was justified. According to Mel they were all hanging out around the pool back in Jan. when Oksie started acting up. She grabbed young Lucia – the child who might be Mel’s though David Foster ain’t off that paternity hook either – and ran around the back of the house. She then threw herself, baby and all, down on the ground. She proceeded to get up, run inside, and then shake the baby like a rag doll. Perhaps remembering all those ‘shaken baby syndrome‘ stories, Mel figured it was appropriate to lay the smack down on that sorry bitch’s ass – though Mel would describe it more diplomatically as “some physical contact“.

Now Mel insists that everything was copacetic after that. Oksie went traveling with him. When they eventually split Mel stayed over at her Russian pad looking after Lucia while Oksie continued to beat the dead horse which is her musical career. Oksie mom even sent the body guards away so father and daughter could enjoy some quality time together! However Oksie started thinking that maybe joint custody wasn’t such a hot idea. She filed for a restraining order keeping Mel at least 100 yards away from either her or her daughter. She wouldn’t even let Gibson spend Father’s Dad with l’il Lucia. What’s more, Oksie’s claiming that she’s got the goods on Mel by way of tape recorded conversations! Since the tapes were made without Mel’s consent or knowledge a judge has ordered them sealed, and Oksana gag ordered to prevent her from talking about them. Knowing Oksana though, we’ll probably be hearing a lot more soon. She seems like a tough one to keep gagged.

voodoo videos

That sad thing is that all this drama is keeping mel from his important research into Freemasonry & the occult. Considering that Hollywood is rotten with occultism, the world really needs Mel and his drunken outlandish conspiracism now more than ever. Well mel has got his hands full so it’s up to the rest of us – you & me – to be extra vigilant so that those Hollywood sorcerers don’t manage to pull the wool over our eyes. You can begin to be more vigilant by keeping up on Tila Tequila’s daring anti Illuminati posts over @ MissTilaOMG, and by watching the following short but startling videos!

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=6977462&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

Hollywood Insiders: Full Disclosure 1/8 from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=-8567939474115092901&hl=en&fs=true
http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=3217800&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

3 of 8 Fallen Angels(Occult Symbolism in Film) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=-891321698051955222&hl=en&fs=true
http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=3218151&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

5 of 8 Fallen Angels(New World Order movies) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

Of course witch craft is one of the more mundane threats we face. Coming soon the ET angle – look for our Wondertrash entitled simply UFO!

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=4451240&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1

UFO from rama on Vimeo.

In tastiest hyperboles


UFO – Episode 10
http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=101788360,t=1,mt=video
Deleted User | MySpace Video

Just remember that no one quits SHADO – that’s why they spend billions on security and zero on on retirement benefits!

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January Jones – Drunk at the wheel

More Celebrity Fail

Looks like the other shoe is dropping in the January Jones case. JJ is the Mad Men actress who recently got herself involved in a 4 car crash. 3 of the cars were parked at the time. Jones fled the scene and returned a short while later claiming that she couldn’t deal with the paparazzi. People thought that was a strange thing to do, especially since she’s not a paparazzi target, unless she was drunk and wanted to avoid the breathalyzer.

what’s cookin’?

Well now the Food Network’s Bobby Flay has come forward claiming that Jones had been drinking. Flay says that he saw Jones have one beer at least, but wasn’t really monitoring her alcohol intake. He was much more interested in getting to redo her kitchen. They exchanged numbers on that point of business.

fast lane to celeb rehab

According to witnesses, and IDon’tLikeYouInThatWay, Jones smelled of alcohol at the scene. After Flay arrived Jones left her drivers license and then fled the scene, She returned 45 minutes later with a change of clothes and chewing gum. She asked cops if they were gonna drunk test her, but they replied that there would be no point. It would be impossible to prove that she hadn’t had a drink after leaving the scene. The loophole in the drunk driving laws is that there’s no way to bust some one for DUI if they leave the scene, unless there are witnesses! Also there were no pesky paparazzi anywhere near the scene of the crime, though Jones may become a popular target of the celebrity pests now. You didn’t need to be the Amazing Kreskin to figure this one out.

No word yet on whether or not Dr. Drew wants tog et his hands on her.


Coming soon to Wondertrash: Does Angelina Jolie use secret voodoo rituals to steal her co stars mojo? Rumors have been coming out the Jolie is a voodoo practitioner. In fact it’s been a point of contention between her and long time partner Brad Pitt. Now some are questioning whether Jolie might’ve put the whammy on some of her co stars. Girl Interruppted Wynonna Ryder was riding high until she crossed paths with Jolie. Then Jolie got an Oscar and Ryder got busted for shop lifting. Jolie also co starred with former husband and Oscar winner Billie Bob Thornton in Pushing Tin. BB was fresh off of Slingblade and seemed to have an unlimited future as the next James Coburn. After his run in with Jolie his career has been permanently staled.

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Freaky Friday

livin’ la vida Lohan

Photobucket

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Heather Locklear Nailed for Hit & Run

Dizzy Blonde

Heather Locklear Nailed for Hit & Run
Dynasty
cutie pie Heather Locklear has had yet another automobile related misfortune. The first time was shortly after her separation from Richie Sambora. That was a rough time for Heather. Her bestest buddy at the time, Denise Skanky Richards, had started seeing Richie, and set her malicious little heart on splitting the pair up. So, allegedly, Denise left some incriminating e mails on Richie’s computer – where Heather was sure to find them. Sure enough she did, and the shit hit the fan!

sober companions & other fiendish friends

Denise started living with Richie, and Heather started hitting the bottle, or something. Heather had an on and off battle with booze in secret for years. She’d even hired ‘sober companions’ to make sure that she didn’t slip, and tried to detox on the sly by renting out hotel rooms. When her marriage went tits up it prove to be much too much. Eventually a disoriented Heather wound up stopping traffic in the middle of a California freeway when she parked her car in the middle of the road and refused to budge!

knowing me knowing you

Since Heather seemed like such a sweet California girl type people were shocked. They were soon to be further shocked as more stories of Heather’s boozing emerged. After one road trip Richie came home to his Thousand Oaks residence to find Heather out cold. She had to go to the hospital over that one. The official story was either exhaustion or dehydration. Later, when Richie had some kind of drunken driving infraction while his child (and girlfriend) were in the car Heather let him have it. Richie simply reminded her that she might have as easily been the one in that position and that shut her up.

a funny thing happened on the way from the country club

Now TMZ is reporting that Locklear has had more car trouble. Last Saturday the actress was arrested for hit and run. It seems that a road sign in her neighborhood – near North Ranch Country Club in Westlake Village, CA., got knocked over when some careless driver ran the curb and crashed into it. The local neighborhood watch got on the blower to the cops and they came out to have a look see.

Heather gets cited

Investigators found that a road sign had indeed been knocked over and there were signs that a car had jumped the curb. Well somehow the local authorities thought of Locklear, and moseyed on over to her place to check out her car. Heather’s black BMW had damages that matched the accident scene, so the police wasted no time in arresting her – TJ Hooker style. Since it was a misdemeanor Locklear was cited and released.

wiggle room

Meanwhile Locklear’s rep is in high spin, and telling everyone that they shouldn’t jump to conclusions because they can’t be sure that Heather was the one driving. I suppose that was the whole point of fleeing the scene of the crime. At least Heather’s PR people aren’t denying that it was her car. Look for Dr. Drew to take a run at Heather some time soon.

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Larry King divorces wife, others quickly follow suit

Shaming Shawn

In Hollywood impulsive marriages are usually followed by bitter divorces. Few people have had as many impulsive marriages as Larry King. He’s currently married to wife # 7, ‘country music stylist’ Shawn Southwick. Now Shawn has had a long time battle with migraine headaches which eventually became a pain in the ass for her husband.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32545640

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Viagra side effect – causes migraines in much younger wives!

Coincidentally the headaches started about the time of her marriage to King, and reoccur every time the old boy tries to touch her. King has even had her on the show to talk about it, either to raise public awareness of the condition, or to shame her into having sex with him. Though Shawn’s headaches are highly debilitating, they didn’t stop her from screwing the cock off of her son’s little league coach. I guess that he must have been a very good bush league player. In fact I believe that Larry was conned talked into hiring the guy as a private ‘base ball tutor’ for his son. This may have been because Larry was gullible , or because he was trying to shame Shawn into having sex.

To err on the side of cleverness

Shawn is Larry’s 7th wife and he endured 13 years of this. No word on whether Brit pub song Henry the 8th will be sung at King’s almost inevitable 8th wedding, possibly to cash strapped hottie Pamela Anderson.

Get laid and get paid, like Oksana!

Larry King ain’t the only one to regain his freedom. Alcoholic anti Semite Mel Gibson has split from his Russian girlfriend Octomom look alike Oksana Grigoreiva. No word on what drove them apart, unless the paternity tests came back negative. Oksana is a star fucker who’s already getting paid of by former James Bond Timothy Dalton for having a son by him (Isn’t it funny how 007 never pays child support in the movies?). That lad is quickly coming of age and Oksana needed another meal ticket.

Mel sobers up

She was seeing David Foster at about the same time she was seeing Gibson. In fact she was staying in his guest house. It was a fact that may have lead to the dissolution of Foster’s marriage. Anyway she quickly moved on to Mel. Now it looks like Mel might have finally sobered up come to his senses. As long as he doesn’t try defending Jesse James, he might make a career recovery. If his estranged wife Robyn won’t have him back (they met through a computer dating service back in 82, believe it or not) I hear that Pamela Anderson is currently looking for a paying position.

“I can forgive a cheater, but I will not tolerate a loser!”

It looks like Elin Nordgren-Woods might be finally ready to make a clean break of it. Tiger Woods’ wife had an extensive meeting with divorce lawyers following Tiger’s defeat at the Masters. Extensive means that the meeting took several hours and took place in her Orlando, Florida home. Apparently Elin was willing to over look the umpteen sleazy sluts Tiger was cavorting around with, but when his abilities as a breadwinner were impaired she decided that she could do better. Good on her for finally asserting her independence, in the usual way, through divorce lawyers and alimony. Who knew that Tiger had so much riding on that tournament?

Grubby fame – just a little world of advice

In a side note to that sorry fiasco, one of Tiger’s women, porno actress Jamie Grubbs, has gotten herself arrested. She was driving around with a suspended license. That’s bad because she has 3 outstanding warrants. So she’s being held on $30 000 bail. Just a little word of advice to those seeking their 15 mins – when you in a position like Ms Grubbs (and she’s been in many positions) you can’t go driving around with a suspended license. Remember, people know who you are now!

Love is never having to tell your publicist

Finally Melissa and Tammy Etheridge have ended their 9 year marriage. They made the announcement to People Magazine via their respective publicists in which they asked for what all celebrities ask for: privacy and respect. When they’re ready to tell you what they want you to hear then they’ll tell it to Oprah.

commercial breaks & coitus interruptus

BTW it looks like Justin Timberlake has cut clingy Jessica Biel loose in favor of former flame Cameron Diaz. Remember that Americans aren’t interested in pulling out of anything except a drive through, or a relationship!

arrests, boozers, break ups, celebrity outrage mania, celebrity personality disorder, cheating, couples, divorces, fail and pwned, follywood family values, image problems, video

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