Jessica Biel Finally Wears Her Engagement Ring!

Seal may have taken his engagement ring off (Despite of being married to an amazing woman for a little while longer at least. Seal swore he’d never remove it cause it’s a symbol of how he feels and the connection he shares with Heidi Klum, but then off it came. Then again Seal supposedly has some issues or something.) but Jessica Biel has put hers on. She’s been dating Justin Timberlake for ages now. It’s been so long that people have wondered whether they were ever gonna get to the next stage or just roll along in one of those George Clooney Leo Dicaprio type arrangements. There were even some rumors that Justy’s mom didn’t care for Biel. Her tele-psychic apparently warned her that Jess was bad news or bad mojo or whatever it is when psychic’s warn some one off of a relationship. When Justy continued dragging his heels no one gave him credit for being a devoted son since they figured he was in no hurry to tie the knot with Biel anyway. Well now things have moved into stage two with the rock appearing on Biel’s finger. Still remains to be seen whether they ever make it officially official or not.

Now here’s a brief video on Biel and Dicaprio’s latest relationship developments.

Odd that celebs bother to go through the whole marriage ordeal anyway. Considering their divorce rate it seems like a lot of pointless bullshit. If they skipped the formalities and just kept screwing around until they eventually – and usually more sooner than later – moved on to some one else then it might save a lot of inconvenience. Then again as the gay community has shown us marriage is far from an outmoded institution – regardless of the reticence of Brangelina! Traditionalists really have much to thank the gay community for since back in the 60’s they were predicting that free love would end marriage in about 5 years. They predicted many things back then, largely because they didn’t account for our old friend human nature. I suppose that you can’t blame anyone for optimism. That would be unreasonable for one thing.

Hopefully the toothsome twosome will have a wonderful wedding that will briefly distract us until more interesting celebrity gossip comes along, and you know that it’s coming!

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Heather Mills hairy lawsuit

1st the real news. Some of you know that there is a big Republican primary race going on. If you’ve been following then you know that it’s working out something like this:

Just don’t start referring to the Republican Primary Race as the WKRP Turkey Drop. They can get mad when they’ve been crossed and I don’t want it getting back to them that you picked it up here! Now on to the rest of the shit that’s fit to print!

It was Sir Paul McCartney who showed the world how annoying Heather Mills was, by marrying the woman. Since then she went on to wage a hi profile war of environmentalism, engage in a nasty divorce with Sir Paul, and blow up a neighbor’s dog with fire works – allegedly. The neighbor swears that it was some big to do at the Mills residence that lead to her dog’s demise. Mills was setting off fire works and a stray one hit the dog and detonated. Mills says that she had nothing to do with the dog’s explosion. So perhaps it was natural causes, like spontaneous canine combustion – you know how it is, sometimes a bitch is volatile!

That brings us to Heather Mills latest incident. Heather is a gal who likes to look her very best. Image can be important when you spend much of your life ticking people off. With that in mind Mills likes to keep herself groomed for success. So she used to patronize Brit stylist David Paul. Now Mills was divorcing at the time so didn’t have a lot of cash on hand. Since she was divorcing without a pre nup it seemed safe to assume that she’d be totally good for it. So Dave went ahead on her head.

That was between 2005 2007 and Paul still ain’t been paid. That’s rough cause Paul charges about $5000 a day for his coveted services. So you could understand Heather not paying when she was short on cash. However Heather ain’t short lately. That’s cause she got a windfall $US38.9 million from her McCartney divorce. So she’s in a position to make good on her debts. That’s why Daivd Paul is taking her to Los Angeles County Superior Court for the 80 000 he says she owes for his services rendered.

It’s easy to be hard on Heather, because no one likes her. However there’s a very good reason for a woman in her position do drop a wad on her hair. To find out what that reason is head straight over to thecelebrityviplounge!

From now on Mills gotta avoid any guy with the name Paul cause it’s just leads to negative publicity!

In other news Heidi Klum and Seal may not be divorcing. Sources say that the couple are in a rough patch. On a recent trip to Aspen there was a lot of screaming and yelling. Then there was a lot of talk about bailing out. Now reports have them back under the same roof and trying to work things out. They do have 4 kids so let’s hope that can get it together.

Speaking of bust ups that may not be happening Star Magazine is reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the verge of a bust up. According to Star the pair are sick and tired of fighting over every detail of their lives together. Plus they barely spoke over the Christmas season. Also according to Star Jolie is upset of rumors of Brad’s child with another woman. Considering half of her kids with him are by other women you’d think that Jolie would be more cosmopolitan about it.

The Star then goes on to point out that Brad and Ange are really different people with Angie as a worldly type who get’s threatened by open relationships and Brad as a homebody that wants to retire and take care of the kids. Star goes on to point out that the split may not be permanent but one of those “breaks”. Now that’s hedging your bets in case it doesn’t happen!

Finally Joe Paterno has died. He was perhaps the greatest college football coach ever, but went out on a low note when he got caught in the middle of a sex abuse case. Paterno was 85 a died of lung cancer.

Now for a Wondertrash motivational poster!

So you were expecting Capt. Kirk on the Love Boat? … because the only difference between Capt. Steuben and Col. Klink is a war and bad publicity! I guess he can’t blame this one on Gilligan again!


Brangelina moves into terror alert

Shesh – normal crazy chicks just get headaches!

It’s been a long time since we’ve heard shit about Angelina Jolie and the lull must be driving her nuts. Some reports say she’s starting to have bad dreams. Angie has had nightmares in the past. Particularly she claims to have had reoccurring dreams about stabbing her dad, Jon Voight, with a fork. No word on whether those occurred during the Republican National Convention – in which case she could be forgiven.

Anyhow the dreams are back, and that has her significant other Brad Pitt concerned. You see he’s the guyy with the rare previledge of sleeping with Driving Miss Crazy each and every night. So if Angie gets an attack of Cuckoo Time in the PM hours, he’s the only one within reach, should she feel the need to work off some of that insanity.

According to some unnamed sources that started tattling to the Pulitzer Prize nominated National Enquirer, Brad is pretty freaked out by these latest developments. Says source:

“I think Brad’s greatest fear must be that the nightmares will continue and Angie could wind up sleepwalking and unknowingly become violent with him,” explains one of these “insiders.”
“I’m sure he wants to nip this problem in the bud immediately,” adds the Enquirer’s source.

I’m sure he does. She might stab him if he’s lucky. No one wants to see this thing go John Bobbit.

Hilary Clinton has it all: Sec of State, success, accomplishment, & big fat ass cankles!

Now from one Powergirl to another – Sec of State Hilary Clinton!

In other news Tim Gunn is shooting from the lip again and this time his target is Sec of State Hilary Clinton. Gunn was on George Lopez’ show the other night and the pair took turns at trashy Hil. Gunn started with a salvo on Clinton’s Jersey Shore Style. Then George commented that her pronts had a No Bugs M’Lady style. Gunn then moved on to a full frontal attack. Said Gunn:

“Why must she dress that way? I think she’s confused about her gender!” He added, “No, I’m really serious, she wears pantsuits that are unflattering.” Then it went on to “cankles.”
Gunn finished, “I have great respect for her intellect and her tenacity and for what she does for our country in her governmental role. I just wish she could send a stronger message about American fashion.”

I have a theory. I don’t think that Hilary is one bit confused about her gender. She jsut keeps everyone else guessing. Just like SNL’s Pat, as played by Nora Dunn! Don’t sweat it Hilary, ’cause even an over pumped super heroine can get shit over how she dresses!


Brangelina Getting Married?

Remember how Brad Pitt said that he and Angelina Jolie wouldn’t get married until everyone of every sexual orientation were free to love int he bridled constraints of matrimony – or words to that effect. Well it sounds like he should of held out for world peace because recently rumbling from Casa de Mirabel – that’s the gaudy place they bought over in France to irritate Johnny Depp – have the pair planning on pairing officially!

The wedding is set to take place at Mirabel in 3 or 4 months, according to US Magazine. I’m not sure how they can know this since they’re not The News of The World or anything. It’s just so hard to get really reliable information these days without good Internet hacking and the odd wiretap. You just have to go by what the stars tell you and they might say anything.

Anyway the mutters coming out of Mirabel have a wedding on the horizon. It’s planned as a “intimate and informal” affair. It’s also planned to cost about a million bucks or more. If you want intimate and informal you’ve got to pay top dollar for it, that’s just the way it is. If you write a blog it’s easier to get ‘intimate and informal’ with the use of quotation marks. Then again we humble internet bloggers aren’t supernova caliber celebrimaniacs, and don’t have that kind of style.

So what got into the Toothsome Twosome to get them to do the big about face on the while marriage deal? Will & Kate did just recently tie the knot. That was the wedding of the century, and bravely pulled off without benefit of a prenuptial. I hope that Wills at least had the good sense to use protection before the marriage! Anyhow the Royal Nuptials are a kind of standard you can use to gauge you’re own relative importance, based on how much attention your own wedding getting in comparison. Of course you can’t expect to get a Will & Kate level of global interest, not even if you’re a jumped up movie star with capped teeth and cheek implants. You can still hope though. Since the world has been waiting umpteen years now to see whether or not Brad and Angie would marry, split up, or just kill each other – the suspense is bound to give this the little extra push on the public interest scale.

 angelina jolie has refered to daugher shiloh pitt as the blobThe some extra incentive too, and those are Brangie’s little dividends. “The kids ask about marriage,” Pitt told USA Today in May of Maddox, 9, Pax, 7, Zahara, 6, Shiloh, 5, and twins Vivienne and Knox, 3. “It’s meaning more and more to them.” Now God knows people don’t organize their lives around their kids. Not these days any way – unless you’re Octomom or something and you’ve got big money plans hanging on them. However Brangie’s kids aren’t ordinary kids. For one thing they’ve been helping support the power couple for almost ten years now. Basically every time Angie adopted or had a date with the turkey baster (her bio kids were artificially inseminated) she booked the cover of People Mag for about 15 to 20 million. That’s what she got paid for exclusive rights for the pix. It’s also what she used to get paid per film back in the days when she could sell a film. So having a lucrative sideline as an eccentric celebrity breeder came in handy. It also gives the kids a stake in this whole flaky relationship.

So I’m sure that Brad and Angie, being the edgy and unconventional types they are, took their kids wishes very seriously. Well except for “the blob”. There’s also good news for you – the celebrity following public – in this. Since Angie is bound to pimp out the intimate and informal affair to People (and now’s the time as the public is going through royal wedding withdrawal – this Brangie wingding can ride that slipstream the way Desperate Housewives did with Sex & the City!) for the usual exclusive rights top dollar deal you’ll get to be there in spirit if not on the RSVP, and for only the cost of a single issue! I wonder how much more they could get with Jennifer Anstion on the guest list?


Dr. Drew concerned about Angelina Jolie!

Forget North Korea – Dr. Drew predicts Jolie will ‘go ballistic’!

Dr. Drew Pinsky has finally found some one more interesting than Lindsay Lohan to occupy his attention. Dr. Drew was quite concerned with that young lady’s well being ever since she began living life too high in the fast lane. Lindsay started out with the odd car crash but Drew predicted that she would come to a bad end and possibly lose a limb. Lohan pointed out that responsible doctors shouldn’t diagnose people they never met, and over television; but Drew wasn’t not deterred. After a brief respite Dr. Pinsky was once again hot on Lindsay’s tail, and via the media said that if he were her father he would load he car with drugs and notify the police. Failing that he would load her car with guns, bombs and Korans; and then notify Homeland Security. He also may have said that the girl needs some kind of enema – I’m not sure.

Intensive therapy

Lindsay is finally getting the help she needs, or something like it anyway. The actress has finally been sentenced to rehab. In fact rehab has had some recent ups and downs for La Lohan. Only recently it was reported that Lindz was involved in some kind of assault with one of her rehab counselors. Seems that Lindsay had worked out some scheme with a few of her rehab cohorts. That resulted in Lindz & Co. getting nabbed by a female Betty Ford staffer as they were making their way back from a bar (or according to some stories Lindz demanded a safe house because of the presence of some alleged stalker, then availed herself of the opportunities presented by cramming the place with booze!)

“Take your hands off of me” – push comes to shove

Well the staffer confronts Lindz and want sto know what the heel is what. Then she allegedly made her big mistake; she put her hands on Lohan. What followed was and incident in which Lindsay supposedly battered the staffer. Of course Lindsay denied this and claimed that it was the staffer who victimized her. LL claims that she merely grabbed the staffer, and shoved her while telling the woman to “get your fucking hands off of me!” Michael raises ’em fiesty! Anyway the cops got called around about 1 AM, and a ‘hand to hand battery‘ report got filed. When the dust cleared it was the staffer who got charge. That’s only naturally since rehab staffers are a dime a dozen but imagine how much lot Lohan is bring into the joint! If staffer had been around she should’ve expected that!

Do you think like Drew?

Since Lindz is being taken good care of, that gives Dr Drew the chance to relax and turn his attentions else where. Now next to Lohan who’s Hollywood’s No 1 hot mess. That could be just about anyone but if you guessed Angelina Jolie then you and Drew think alike! Reports recently surfaced by way of the National Enquirer that Jolie is some kind of child abuser. Apparently she’s pretty hard on young Shiloh Pitt. Shiloh is one of her bio babies, and she calls her ‘the blob‘. She also dresses and raises her as a boy. There’s some interesting mommy-daughter issues working out there is this is true!

Dredging the dregs with Creepy Sexy Mommy

These stories of Angie flying into rages while ‘slapping‘ seem to suggest that she’s found an alternative for her rage to partner Brad Pitt. They’ve also reminded everyone of what a flake she comes off as. So some old shit got dredged up lately – like Chelsea Handler talking about the brother James Haven make out stories (stories that Jolie is into incest). To be fair JH had to turn out a least a little warped. Having a first name as normal as James had to make him a Hollywood misfit. Just imagine the schoolyard taunting he got. “Hey James!” or “It’s Jimbo everybody!“. Nailing your hot sister is that’s situation’s equivalent of the preacher’s kid smoking a cigarette to fit in and prove he’s not a sissy.

talking smack!

There’s more to Jolie than alleged brother fucking though. She’s also had some kind of history of substance abuse. Particularly there’s smoke talk that Jolie liked her some smack back in the day (Jolie has spoken openly about her drug use in the past, and in an interview in 1998, she said: I’ve done just about every drug possible. Coke, heroin, ecstasy, LSD, everything… Those drugs can be dangerous if you don’t go into it positively. I gave them up long ago.). Some video of Jolie, apparently stoned, even surfaced of the actress talking about how many pets she killed off in her formative years (Hollywood actresses have such a destructive growth cycle that it’s practically more destructive than growth!). Jolie defenders pointed out that the actresses admissions involved accidental deaths of pets, and not a deliberate holocaust of innocents. That doesn’t make her a bad person – the defenders maintain. No one has yet asked directly whether or not it might make her a bad mom!

still crazy after all these years?

The smack talk does have Dr. Drew thinking though. Now that is mind if free from concerns bout Lindsay Lohan’s well being, Drew is speculating about the future of Brangelina! Many of us can’t fathom their present, let alone any possible future. Most celeb marriages are over faster than you can say Scarlett Johansson, and even if you’re Mr. Sexy Ryan Reynolds (that World’s Sexiest title was bound to cause problems, especially since Scarlett probably thinks that Reynolds is only really seen as sexy because she did him. So why should he be getting the glory?). So why are those two still around? Perhaps because Jennifer Aniston’s career needs them. Probably out of sheer bloody mindedness. Jolie won’t leave and give anyone the gratification of saying “I said so!

Brangelina is going to be a big deal one way or another – predicting the obvious

Dr. Drew is looking forward. Drew is predicting a break up, and he says that when it comes it’s gonna be nuclear! In wake of the recent The Tourist premier Drew gave a pretty blunt assessment of the actress in which he rushes in where even foul mouthed blabberer Chelsea Handler (Dennis Miller in his former career as a wag might’ve described her act as “Vodka & Tourette’s Syndrome“) might fear to tread. When the topic of Angelina came up recently Dr. Drew said the following:

There’s no such thing as ‘”I was a heroin addict.That doesn’t exist in nature. Something is going on with [her] addiction. Or she’s in recovery. And I don’t see any evidence that’s the case. So we’ve got one person who’s a heroin addict. Which is a chronic lifelong condition, period. We have another person who has said things like,Well, Jennifer [Aniston] was into long-term relationships, that’s just her way of looking at things.I mean, that demeaning attitude towards other people’s emotions. Now put those two people together and you have got a really volatile situation. And they’re constantly creating things to weld themselves together. Which is only going to serve to make a more nuclear eruption. There will be some sort of meltdown that will be phenomenal when it does happen.

It’s not all bad for Jolie. Her The Tourist flick did get some Golden Globe noms – for Best Comedy. Jolie even picked up a Best Actress nom, for a flick nominated as a comedy. NOw The Tourist was billed as a romantic comedy. Jolie does how that she can at least see the humour in that, replying on being told of her com nom she ROFL’d laughing. “It’s the first time that I’ve been in the comedic category so it’s new for me.” she said. Rom com is more an Aniston thing. How else can you respond to a very public slap in the face (she hasn’t be on the World’s Hottest lists in about ten years – and that’s enough time for 5 Megan Fox’s to have come and gone! This says something about her standing in the larger entertainment community).

PS. Tuning your bullshit detector: Note that Dr. Drew didn’t say when Jolie & Pitt would bust up, only that when they would it would be a big deal. Since they’ve made a big deal out of their relationship – it’s been Jolie’s main career for about ten years, & is supporting her film career during the awkward period – it’s a safe guess that they’ll make a big deal out of their split.


Chelsea Handler continues to kiss Aniston’s ass

foul mouthed chelsea handler continues to slag angelina jolie and kiss jennifer aniston's ass after calling the a list jolie a fucking homewrecking cuntA few days ago Chelsea Handler made the cheap shot heard around the world – she told a drunken heckler to sit down and shut up! Then she called Angelina Jolie a “fucking cunt” and a “fucking whore“. That was right after she mentioned something about homewrecking. The references go back a little ways to when Jolie hooked up with Brad Pitt, there by causing the demise of his marriage to Aniston. Jen took that kind of hard. She never seemed to bounce back – well she did and then some professionally but personally she seemed a little like a boat without a rudder as she drifted from one PR staged relationship to another.

Jen hasn’t been a total recluse. She’s kept company and passed time with a small inner circle of close trusted associates – or ‘friends’ if you will. There’s been Courtney Cox and her erstwhile husband Baby Boy David Arquette. These days there has been Chelsea Handler. She’s kept Aniston company on some recent trips south of the border of those kind of vacations that middle aged women at loose ends have: Aniston on the weed and Handler juiced on vodka and hitting on anything that moved. Some might question whether that makes up for the lack of a cxlose personal romantic relationship. Handler’s doing her best to fill the void. In fact these days Handler is getting so sucky with Aniston that Jen’s ass is getting kissed more than Oprah Winfrey’s by non lesbian Gayle King.

Ass Kissing is a strong phrase but there doesn’t seem anything else to call it. Many speculated that her whole Jolie is a cunt stunt was a way of stroking her celebrity friend. Handler does have a history of getting personal to get on in the world. She got her show back when she was still dating E Channel’s head.

Now Handler has come out and more or less admitted that her Angelina rant was a Team Aniston thing. In one of her recent clarifications Handler admitted to admiring Aniston whom she’s descries as incredibly funny. She then goes on to say that Jolie – on the other hand – is an insincere woman (nice way of saying bitch) whom she can’t make herself like. Those comments, which probably didn’t help much, were given to non other than Katie Couric, in Glamor Mag, & here they are verbatim:

KATIE COURIC: Is there anybody who really makes you laugh? A woman who really makes you laugh, other than me?
CHELSEA HANDLER: Jennifer Aniston makes me laugh. She’s irreverent and hilarious, and she sends me really, really funny e-mails.
KATIE COURIC: She’s funny?
KATIE COURIC: And speaking of that, wow, girl, you went off on Angelina Jolie recently.
CHELSEA HANDLER: Yeah, I’m not a fan. She just doesn’t come off to me as a sincere woman. She seems like a woman that you’d really want to avoid.

There you have it – Aniston is a fantastic woman who would never remove an orphan from their natural environment for her own selfish personal ends! That’s a bit more understated than Handler’s used to, so you can tell what a big deal this is. You can also tell exactly how Handler feel’s because even though she’s in damage control spin mode she still doesn’t bother to hide her feelings. The spin is right out there for everyone to see – just like Fox News. So I guess that she deserves some credit for sticking to her guns a little. Next time though, it might be a good idea not to go off half cocked.


Chelsea Handler Fucks Up

“I’ve been making fun of Angelina Jolie since she made out with her brother,”

Chelsea Handler managed to get herself some major attention recently. Ms Handler was doing a stand up performance when one of the young women in the audience got a little rowdy. Chelsea told the bitch to shut the fuck up (Handler can get mouthy when she’s been drinkin’), pointing out that drunken heckling wouldn’t be a good memory for the woman the following day. It might not have been a good memory for Chelsea either because next she started into a tirade about Angelina Jolie. Basically she called Jolie a “homewrecker“. That’s not telling tales out of school. However her next comments went a little over the line, maybe. Handler referred to Jolie’s comments about not having many female friends and stated “Of course not, because you’re a fucking cunt and a fucking bitch!” That was the cheap shot heard round the world.

troublesome cable transmissions

Naturally that provoked something of a backlash. Jolie’s fans, and she still has them (though not as many as Sarah Palin!), were irate. They took to internet message boards in droves calling Handler a drunken skank with about as much sense of humour as Sarah Silverman on the rag(now that’s offensive!). Lot’s of old business got churned up too: like her numerous hook ups, and her relationship with Ted Harbert, president and CEO of Comcast’s entertainment division (which owns E! channel). It was pointed out that since she was dating the guy who basically gave her a show she didn’t have to be any funnier than Silverman back when she was dating Jimmy Kimmel (and still had a comedy career). BTW Habert is not to be confused with Brian Roberts who is the pres of Comcast. Harbert is the Handler guy, while Roberts is the one who told Bill Gates to shut the fuck up when the Microsoft chair tried to sell TV exces the same flaky tech for cable transmission that proved so troublesome to IBM.

The Gates’ incident occurred back in the days when Bill was at the height and zenith of his power. He’d arranged a big sit down with the TV people, Roberts among ’em, and then went into his hi powered sales routine. Bill had this new tech that he promised would revolutionize the TV industry. The tech in question was a device in the form of a box that was to be mounted on top of TV sets.

big bang theories

Naturally the box would run on a Microsoft operating system. Microsoft would then charge the companies their usual licensing fee for the software. This was the same set up as MicroS (or MSoft if you prefer)had with Big Blue and their PC’s. Now some folk think that the arrangement didn’t work out so well for IBM (the McLuhanists maintain that IBM merely missed the point. They were still back in the industrial age and selling computers like farm equipment. As Marshall McLuhan himself pointed out, they failed to realize that they were really in the information business!).

nerds of note

Well Bill concludes his big deal presentation and then sits back to see what the prospective costumers think. Gates didn’t have to wait long for feedback. It was Comcast Pres Roberts who piped up, saying “Well, Bill, let me be the first to say, ‘No fucking way.’” Perhaps the whole IBM thing had soured him. Then again nerds with Asperger’s Syndrome don’t always hit it off in the world of entertainment (unless their Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg). Of course the story is apocryphal, which means that it may never have happened – so the story has a place here!

Hollywood gone Riverdale

Anyway back to Chelsea and that big mouth of hers. Handler’s mouth has always been loaded for big game. That should be no surprise. It’s also no surprise that she’s a good friend of Jolie’s feared nemesis Jennifer Aniston. To update the half dozen people in the world who don’t know Aniston is the gal that homewrecking cunt Angelina Jolie stole Brad Pitt from. That was back during the filming of Mr & Mrs Smith, and has lead to America’s longest running real life soap opera as the threesome (Brad, Jolie, & Jen) continue to act out the whole Archie, Betty, & Veronica routine before an enthralled public.

release dates & keeping up with Kardashian

talk show host and comedienne chelsea handler shows her support for good friend jennifer aniston by calling rival angelina Jolie a homewrecker and a fucking cunt during a live stand up routineWhile Brad and Angelina raided the third world for chic causes to support and adorable orphans to adopt, Jen moped around. She made some halfhearted stabs at romance; usually with her co stars and usually at about the time of her films’ release dates. The relationships generally broke up after the 1st or 2nd week’s box office returns came in, causing some to speculate that the hook ups were promotional stunts, like Kim Kardashian’s Gabriel Aubry hook up. Kardashian will do anything to hype herself including date Justin Bieber – sort of, pose in a coffin, and quit Twitter. Publicity’s been a down hill slide for her, and about the only stunt she hasn’t pulled is posing on a platter with an apple in her mouth, Hawaiian luau style! She’s kind of like Lady Gaga without the talent & flair.

who’s afraid of the big bad bunny?

Speaking of Kardashian she may as well be Anna Nicole Smith without the drama. Anna Nicole was an example of what can happen when bunnies go bad, and was a kind of contrast to Pamela Anderson. Anderson was also a proud graduate of the Playboy School of Self Exploitation. Whereas Anderson was a good Canadian bunny who was gracious and grateful for her opportunities, took a bit part in a popular comedy, and then went on to become successful by finding a project she could do in a bathing suit; Anna Nicole Smith was the big bad bunny who married a decrepit Mr. Burns type billionaire for money (unless she had even creepy reasons and with Anna, let’s face it, who knows), quarreled with her family on the nightly news (remember her “Bring it on Momma” to her mother Virgie Arther back on an old ABC Dateline?), and work in reality TV. In many ways her life was reality TV. Not that this has anything to do with Brangeliniston.

Cox the fox & entertainment gravitas

What does have to do with Brangliston is Jennifer Aniston who when we left her was moping and pining around with her co stars. You can only do that for so long until it becomes monotonous (and when has America’s favorite triangle ever been anything but monotonous?) so Jen worked in some new moves like hangin’ with Courtney Cox. That relationship must’ve gotten strained about the time of Cox’s David Arquette troubles. Divorce talk would’ve brought back bad memories and besides, Arquette’s issues are just so creepy what with the “Mommy, Mommy!” and the allegedly thumb sucking (unless that’s apocryphal too)! So Aniston gravitated to some one more fun, like Chelsea Handler!

“Weren’t you Jennifer Aniston” & heavy duty female bonding

Aniston and Handler have been paling around together lately. The gals were recently down inn San Cabo, Mexico where the ladies indulged in the favorite pastimes together: Aniston toked up while Helsea Chandler got juiced on vodka and hit on random men. Anyway it made a nice change from weepy Courtney. Plus it had the added advantage of making Aniston seem relevant by hanging with a cool edgy comedy chick, while Chelsea enjoyed being mistaken for Aniston by locals! So with all that heavy duty female bondage bonding going on Chelsea was bound to get feeling protective about her powerful new friend. That’s what probably lead to Handler’s on stage outburst. That and perhaps a 5th of Jack Daniels.

Jolier than thou and the biggest baddest bunny of them all!

That brings us up to the backlash. Handler might not have been expecting that since if she had she wouldn’t have said it (unless that was all part of the plan!). Besides, as as a more toned down Handler has been recently explaining in her numerous recent damage control statements she’s always made fun of Jolie. She’s been making fun of Jolie for 5 years or more. In fact she’s been making fun of Jolie from back in the days when Jolie restricted her sexual activities to friends and allegedly close blood relatives, and well before she became a home wrecking cunt bitch whore on a one woman jihad against marriage – or what ever it was that Handler recently called her.

the beef goes on!

Handler makes a good point there. Not that Jolie is a home wrecking cunt bitch whore on a one woman jihad against marriage; but that she’s been making these jokes for an awfully long time. It’s safe for her to say that because this whole damned thing has been going on for a long time, a damned long time. Brangeliston has been a tabloid – late night monologue mainstay for years. So much so that it’s surprising that anyone still pays attention. Even more so since Brangeliston, like Chandler herself, has been short on fresh material lately. So that being said It’s surprising that anyone still cares enough about Brangeliston to still pay attention, let alone care enough to work up the bile required to get outraged and storm the Internet. Or as Chelsea might say “So what’s the big deal?


Brangie – More Misery

Different day, same shit

So what do you do when you significant other celebrates a birthday? If you’re Brad Pitt then you probably spend the day riding around aimlessly in a chauffeur driven SUV while swilling beer after beer after beer. At least that’s what eye witness said, and was reported in celebrity gossip blog Backseat Cuddler. Naturally this public misery reflects badly on the Voodoo Queen. So when he got back Bitchelina let him have it “Did you even stop and think about how your misery makes me look!!!?” – there was a huge fight. It got so bad that Angelina Bitchy even went so far to cancel their plans to take the kids to see Sesame Street LIVE! How did their lives become so mundane and still remain so insane?


There may have been even more to the story than Brad rolling around drunk in public. The gal who has publicly stated on numerous occasions that she doesn’t frighten easily is scared shitless by one person – Jennifer Aniston. When Brad went missing in action Girl Interrupter’s first and only thought was that Brado had gone back to the ex. Naturally that provoked a 5 alarm freak out, and the cancellation of the Sesame Street deal.

superfreak is totally psycho

The commotion has lead some unnamed sources to comment: “At the last minute she told the staff the whole thing was off. She didn’t give any reason, just said that they weren’t needed and that she and Brad and the kids were going to stay home.” Worse still a former body guard is commenting “She’s Totally Psycho”, referring to his former employer. Seems like life with a crazy person is a lot less satisfying than Hollywood movies would have had us believe.

Life with a lunatic can take it’s tole. Read about Brad Pitt’s lost good looks @ He’s gone from Joe Handsome to the 4rth member of ZZ Top since he hooked up with Bitchelina.


Craxy & Crazy

Go go rehab

Whitney Houston HospitalizedWhitney Houston’s comeback continues to go badly. Last time there was any news about Whitney it was when the audience walked out on her in Paris. Now the singer has been hospitalized in London. After singing off key Houston apparently ran out of breath. A doctor has diagnosed her with an upper respiratory infection. If you’re asking yourself is Whitney back on crack you won’t be the only one.

InTouch claims that the singer is back on crack. They refer to an incident where Whitney was seen snort a mysterious white powder from a bag. There source is eyewitness Marlon David, who sat only a table away from Whitney and her ex Bobby Brown @ the Beverly Wilshire hotel in LA on March 10. According to David Houston walked in with Brown and once seated began swearing loudly and demanded a “fucking drink“. She then pulled a bag out of her purse, rolled a bill, and snorted a line of ‘white powder’. David describes Whitney as looking thin and “out of it“. Not surprisingly Whitney’s people have denied the story and swear up and down that the singer is clean and healthy. Video clips of Houston’s performance show her far from healthy. Apparently she sweats when she tries to reach the high notes.

[redlasso id=’bff447e1-cc7c-4d04-a859-db4b1c4b6f2c’]

Crack is whack, and whack is back!

Whitney Houston Hospitalized
Whitney went broke doing a “poor people’s drug”. I just feel so bad for her. Now you know what the greatest love of all is. Whitney ain’t the only one who’s gonna be doing drugs, Angelina Jolie will be too if she reads the latest tabloid covers.

In Touch Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston were caught kissing

Whitney Houston Hospitalized

Parenthetically speaking

If you’re Angelina Jolie (and be glad that you’re not – if she has as hard a time living with herself as others do living with her, then her life must be hell. I guess she likes being surrounded by people so she won’t have to be alone with herself – misery loves company!)it doesn’t matter how realistic the rumors are for them to be believable, just how insecure and unstable you are. Brad’s looking rough these days. I wonder what his problem could be? Maybe it’s the psychotic in his life, and I don’t mean Aniston. Aniston is merely neurotic.

Since the list only featured movie characters there were some notable omission’s, like Lila Tourney-West in Showtime’s Dexter. Lila was every bit as crazy as Girl Interrupted Angelina Jolie. Not that I’m implying Jolie is a serial murderess or anything, but would it surprise you if she was? It might take more than Dexter Morgan to get Jolie out of Brad Pitt’s life.

Lila Tourney-West Showtime's Dexter

Speaking of girls interrupted, the latest Tiger Woods hook up to come out is none other than the 22 year old daughter of his neighbor. That young woman’s name is Raychel Coudriet and she’s claiming to have had a one nighter with Woods in the golfer’s office.

A hole in one

Tiger Woods affair with Neighbors Daughter Raychel Coudriet


Brangie Still Making Waves

Are they or aren’t they? Will they or won’t they? The same old questions.

6 degrees of Angelina: Excess emotional baggage

The act seems to be getting stale, and there are no new tricks on the horizon. Now Ashley Simpson’s growing nose was more genuinely interesting – I wonder what lies she’s been recently telling? Perhaps if Angelina Jolie’s lips kept expanding it would add some real suspense. Gossipistas could then speculate over the possibility of some surgical enhancement to her most noticeable image feature (next to Brad Pitt, the ever growing brood, Jennifer Aniston, Aniston’s current and prospective boyfriends, etc. That image is picking up a lot of additional stuff along the way – like it has it’s own gravitational field!), and whether her mouth might one day devour the rest of her face! As it is the suspense is getting monotonous!

pic courtesy of

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