Daily Dose of Britney!

It’s Britney Spears, bitch!


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Demi Moore Going to be in Rehab for a While

It’s been a rough time for Demi Moore. Her marriage to 70’s Show hottie Ashton Kutcher went down the tubes. So while the Kutch went off to South America and surfed in the streets Demi got herself into a damsel in distress type situation. Actually she had some drug related trouble. That lead to some tabloid headlines and time in rehab.

Reports are that Demi is doing great in rehab – it’s surprising when rehab actually works! She was in one of those places that failed Lindsay Lohan at least once, unless it was Mischa Barton, Britney Spears, or Paris Hilton, or Nicole Richie or one of the oodles of other celebs who had to do some sober time. It’s getting hard to keep track. Dems is back on the straight and narrow but is in no huirry to leave cause she’s serious about her sobriety. Here’s the latest update on that!
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Year of the Bunny

A green Playboy Bunny attending the Karma Foun...Image via Wikipedia

Bunnies are a big deal. Ever since they invaded the island continent of Australia people realized they needed watching. Of course many already figured that out from watching they mayhem these warm cuddly creatures regularly created in Saturday morning children’s cartoons. It seemed like they were constantly thwarting attempts to murder them, often with the use of mallets, high explosives, and even spring loaded boxing gloves – often provided by ACME Inc., probably free in exchange for product placement.
It was only a matter of time before these menaces found their way into popular culture – a wasteland that like the Australian Outback is tailor made for them. Hugh Hefner introduced the bunny to the world back in the 60’s through his chain of fetish cocktail clubs. There hard up unfaithful swingers could be waited on by attractive young women in rabbit costumes – floppy ears, fuzzy tail, etc. I even hear that the original costume featured oversized plastic “Bugs Bunny” teeth, which were quickly phased out – possibly following some injuries.
Hefner’s strain of Playboy Bunny proved even more popular than the cartoon breed. Soon we were up to our ear holes in grinning, bulging young varmints who were on the make with a vengeance. They sported every charm plastic surgery, and Hef’s substantial check book, could provide, up to and including over bites of buck toothed cartoon rabbit proportions! Hef made a good living marketing human bunnies for public consumption. The trouble started when these things began getting loose and roaming at large – free range bunnies began making trouble!
The first one to really get in the public eye was Anna Nicole “Big Bunny” Smith. Once she got a taste of the Golden Carrot she decided she liked it, and went on pursuing it with a vengeance that Bugs might envy! She left no stone unturned – plastic surgery, mercenary marriage, and even videoed herself giving birth to daughter Dannilynn so that the footage could be marketed! Anna eventually came to grieve, but not before she made a major mess out of her own live, the lives of her family and acquaintances, not to mention the Marshal clan – that;’s the family of the 90 something oil billionaire she married for true love back in the 90’s. Hey, it was the Clinton era!
Now people should’ve learned their lesson from ANS, and started treating these fluffy fearsome creatures with as much trepidation as the Monty Python Knights faced that killer rabbit in Holy Grail! Unfortunately the beast was loose – and the Aussie can tell you how hard those mangy critters are to handle once they get a foothold. Anyhow there was a five hundred channel universe for them to roam free in now. In fact there was far more air space than there was content to fill it. That’s why they invented Reality TV. So it seemed like there couldn’t be too much harm done by these friendly menaces. Soon bunnies were popping up everywhere, in The Bunnies Next Door Playboy reality TV show, as Gene Simmons sig other in Family Jewels, in the form of Gene Simmons sig other Shannon Tweed, and even in the news if you count the local weather slut or Katie Curic on the Evening News! Tom Cruise even tossed his long time partner Nicole Kidman for creepy bunny Katie Holmes. Australia knows no respite from these beasts!
With the rise of Britney Spears & Scarlett Johansson it looked that bunnies had not only gone mainstream but were about to gain a credibility that they had heretofore not enjoyed. It was only when a rare breed of Alaskan Killer Bunny, named Sarah Palin, started to invade America’s capitol, & even beginning to encroach within the belt way, that the public started to become fully conscious of the threat. Bearing a relentless smile, Sarah gnawed away on the collective mind of her country like some rogue bunny working it’s fearsome choppers through a cabbage patch! It was touch and go for awhile, and even David Letterman had about as much luck dealing with her as Elmer Fudd. Eventually the Alaskan Killer Bunny was deflected into the realms of reality TV and the tabloids – where she burned herself out. Another critter nearly invaded the White House by attaching herself to pres Candidate John “Pretty Boy” Edwards. However she was an extremely destructive version; ruining Edwards character, marriage, and career before he could get her anywhere near the Nation’s # 1 position. It worked out like a virus destroying it’s host! However It was a close call.
So where does that leave bunnies in the future? By now they’ve left such a track wreckord – in the form of the usual trail of wreckage, that the public should be well aware of the threat posed! However there still seems to be a place for these worthless destructive creatures. Word has it that Charlie’s Angels is rebooting, and going back to what was the original title and premise of the 1st series. Produces say that they are adding much more jiggle and fluff to the series, and plan to rename it “Bunny Squad”.Producers claim they were inspired by the small Southern town that announced plans to give the local Sherif’s dept. a public image make over by hiring Hooter’s girls as officers. Citing that “It worked for Hooters”, the sherif claimed that public attitudes towards law enforcement might improve if officers were perceived as more friendly and attractive! He also claimed that there was some enthusiastic support for the proposal, though only from small town criminals – “Are you gonna take me away officer?” “I might have to cuff and taser you too!” “Then the day only gets better. Lead on Sgt Pepper!“ ”Oh she’s Pepper. I’m Salty!” “Hallalujah!” As it turned out the whole report, that started the Charlie’s Angels reboot, was an article in The Onion – a herb so refreshingly toxic that even bunnies avoid it! – but by then the damage was done. Once it gets started it’s hard to stop. For instance I hear that David E Kelley is trying to get his Wonder Woman pilot redone in a new fluff and jiggle format tentatively titled Wonder Bunny! Just don’t get your carrot stuck in the Magic Lasso of Truth!
The Goodies: The Goodies vs the Moon Bunnies
http://www.veoh.com/swf/webplayer/WebPlayer.swf?version=AFrontend.5.7.0.1276&permalinkId=v16006843Rb22AkG&player=videodetailsembedded&videoAutoPlay=0&id=anonymous
Watch Invasion of the Moon Creatures – The Goodies in Comedy | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

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Britney gets her head read

Britney Spears might be getting her head read. Now some would say that’s way over due. Britney has been out on a limb ever since she shaved her head and went completely nuts. You’ll probably remember those heady days because she was a constant topic of conversation on late night monologues and in tabloid newspapers. It ended with falling under the control of Sam Lutfi – her personal Osama Bin Laden – and getting carted off on a stretcher to the local nut house.

It also added the catchy phrase 5150 hold to the vernacular. %150 hold is an order committing some one to a psych ward against their will cause they’ve gone bat shit, and before long we’d be hearing it in relation to other young stars like Mischa Barton; while it continued to hang ominously over the head of Lindsay Lohan for years! When the dust cleared Britney’s career was in tatters, she was missing about 40 mill allegedly embezzled by Mr Lutfi, and Lutfi himself was in hiding and dodging a subpoena from spears’ family lawyers. Oh yeah and Britney was under conservatorship. That means she was too fucked up to handle her own affairs.

Conservatorship worked out for Britney. It put her father James Parnell Spears in charge of everything. That meant Lutfi and his sleazy ways were a thing of the past. So Britney could concentrate on her music and her health. There were several come backs; the accumulative effect of which was a career revival. Spears may not have been her old self again, but she was on the charts and was a show biz force to be reckoned with again. Not that had to be too good to last.

Just as the Good Ship Britney seemed to be back on course some bad news popped out from the past like an ice berg menacing the Titanic. That bad news came in the form of the aforementioned Sam Lutfi. Seems like he’s locked in some sort of a law suit against The Family Spears, and against Brit’s Mom Lynn in particular. Lynn wrote a biography and covered Britney awkward stage. Lynn went on to alleged that Lutfi drugged spears, poisoned her mind, cut her off from family and friends, and then squandered the poor befuddled girl’s money and ruined her career! All that’s pretty well documented in the tabs, but Lutdi still takes exception to having his reputation besmirched. So he’s hauled Lynn into court.

Naturally Lutfi says that all this is untrue. Furthermore he says that Britney was a mess before he got any where near her. Call that the “It was like that when I got here” defense. To that end he’s hired his very own professional expert UCLA Assistant Professor of Psychiatry Joshua Pretsky to back him up. He also wants Spears to take the stand too. Now her kin folk are agin’ it. For one thing they don’t like her havin’ any truck with that thar Lutfi fella. Fer another they thing the poor gal is just too dang sick and confused to go doin’ any testifyin’ in a court o’ law. So they want Brit excused from a witness call on the grounds of her delicate health and mental condition, for which she still requires an on going conservatorship.

There’s just one problem. Britney did a recent interview with Ryan Seacrest (who needs to line up new work now that Simon Cowell is off of American Idol). Pretsky watched the interview and according to him:

“In the Ryan Seacrest interview, which was recorded approximately two months ago, Britney Spears is interviewed at length, and she responds logically and coherently to questions, evidencing logical thinking and mental competency. The edited interviews in the [MTV] video documentary also evidence coherent and logical thinking, responsiveness to questions, and mental competence … In my opinion, there is good cause to conduct an Independent Medical Examination to investigate the Conservators’ claim that Ms. Spears is not mentally capable of testifying, and the claim that she was not mentally competent to enter into a binding contract. …”

So there we are: her kin folk claim she’s too sick and confused to speak out on her own behalf, while the crooks want to hear it from her! Meanwhile the out come of a nasty libel case hangs in the balance. That means there’s own one way to resolve it. Britney’s got to go to an independent court appointed shrink to find out if she’s fit and qualified to speak up for her self, and whether the strain of doing that might send her into another down ward spiral of pink wigs and Starbucks runs that will make Charlie Sheen look like a droopy eyed armless memory. To that end a motion was filed past Monday at Los Angeles Superior Court, asking a judge to order Ms Britney to get herself assessed. Brit’s date with the doctor will depend on the judge’s ruling. The judge’s ruling will depend on whether or not some more urgent celebrity mayhem develops; like another occurrence of Lindsay Lohan, or whether Mel & Oksany decide to have at one ‘nother gain! Stay Tuned!!

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Britney Spears in abusive relationship

https://i2.wp.com/dlisted.com/files/ourladyofcheetoabuse.jpg

Remember Jason Alexander? Now I’m not referring to the Seinfeld sidekick who didn’t go cuckoo at the Laugh Factory. This is the guy who was briefly married to Britney Spears about 5 years back. That was when Brit was just starting to head of the rails. Britney was just coming off of her difficult relationship with Justin Timberlake, and so she hooked up with a former high school sweat heart on the rebound. She married Alexander in some quickie Vegas ceremony. Within 48 hours saner heads prevailed and the marriage got annulled.

Alexander has kept in touch – on and off – with Britney over the years though. In fact she confides in him. Not just little things either like “Kim Kardashian is a no talent slut” or “Guess which A Lister likes to wear a diaper during sex” – the typical girl talk of Hollywood. She shares some deeply personal shit with her erstwhile significant other. Stuff like her current significant other Jason Trawick beats her!

According to Alexander he was on the blower with Britney, or maybe it was by e mail – that’s not important. What is important is what Brit told him. She said that Jason is violent, and that her life has become a nightmare (those who have followed Britney over the years might take issue with the word “become” since it seems that her life became a nightmare many years back). In fact Britney went on to claim that douchetard Trawick has beat her on a number of occasions, and once even gave her a black eye. The exact exchange went like this:

Alexander: “How’s your problems with your fiancé?
Britney: “That (bleep) is not my fiancé.
Alexander: “I thought he proposed to you or something at the beach.
Britney: “Before or after he beat on me?

The plot thickens. Brit went on to reveal to Alexander that she was pregnant with Trawick’s baby earlier this year. No word on what eventually became of the pregnancy, but you can have three guesses – first 2 don’t count.

Things seemed to have quieted down for Britney over the past year or 2. Ever since she got Sam Lutfi out of her life and her father Jamie back in things seemed to be sailing on an even keel for her. Her conservator ship had only recently been extended, so many of us hoped that the troubled performer might finally find some peace, or at least stability in her life. Now like a dormant volcano slowly rumbling back to life, it appears that we are having another occurrence of that force of nature commonly known as Britney Spears!

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Wondertrash has a brush with Britney?

Britney Spears & bogus zen

A few days ago a friend of mind posted a Britney Spears liveleak video to his youtube account, so that I might use it on my blog. It was the What Britney Spears Really Sounds Like On Stage.flv video. Well my friend informs me that sometime last night he received a terse response on the comments section of the video – simply “liar”. It was posted @ about 1 AM and is listed as from

QueenPopBritneyTv. That’s Britney’s official youtube presence.

Britney Spears Sounding Shiteous

Making Cheetos: It Ain’t Easy Being Cheesy

britney spears wonder woman

Britney Spears has been back on the radar lately with a lot of those ‘more of the same’ stories. Apparently she’s had some kind of freak out while visiting Disneyland with her boys Sean Preston and Jayden James, plus her boyfriend manager Jason Trawick. There was a fuss. Brit locked her self in her hotel room with the scissors and chopped off her hair again – clogging the toilet int he process. The boys never got their private audience with Mickey Mouse. The whole unhappy incident did keep tongues wagging briefly, until Lindsay Lohan got fitted with her nifty new ankle bracelet anyway.

Far more disturbing than Brit’s off stage antics are her on stage antics. There have been a lot of rumours about Brit lip sinking her way through her concerts. It’s no secret that she’s off her game. Many of her dance routines look like she might have been performing them while either drunk, or pilled out of her gourd. So it’s kind of an open secret that Brit performs with an accompanying sound track to fill in, either when she forgets the words, or when her voice is a little rough.

That left open the question “How rough is her voice?” Since this is the information age, when there is an open question some one is gonna use available technology to get an answer. So during one of her recent concerts some one managed to tap into her microphone feed. This allowed them to record Spears actual singing voice ungilded by audio back ups. The resulting tape was pretty bad. By pretty bad I mean that Spears’ voice sounded like Whitney Houston was being beaten with a bag of cats! You might think that’s a colourful exaggeration of the kind bloggers use to over state a point. Fortunately the tape is available and after listening you’ll probably realize that it would be hard to overstate how bad Spears was. Just have a listen:

I wanna welcome you to a world where anything can possibly happen (and unfortunately usually does!)

Was that horrendous. She’s must’ve set every dog with in ear shot wailing and howling in response! You’ve got to break out the thesaurus and run down the synonyms of terrible just to get the right descriptive terms for her cacophony of caterwauling. At least there’s a bright side to it – though she’s no Crystal Bowersox, Britney does continue to make a very good living out of her very bad singing. Brit’s just damned lucky that she wasn’t performing in front of Simon Cowell, and within point blank range of his infamous acid tongue!


Lunatic Photo Editing

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