Angelina Jolie – smoking, drinking, crying

Beautiful people are the most miserable people on earth. They make everyone else miserable too.
~Carlos Castaneda

From a Hollywood Pegasus to a Million Dollar Minnie Mouse!

The Academy Awards is a little like the Oil Barons Ball on Dallas – it seldom goes off without incident. The last one was a doozy. There was Sean Young‘s bizarre gate crashing and arrest. Then there was Angelina Jolie. She wasn’t nominated for anything despite her ambitious Blood & Honey film. She still got some stage time as a presenter – so she decided to make a meal out of it. She showed up in her notorious black dress and with her right leg stuck out at a 90 degree angle. If she’d replaced the leg with a wooden peg and had a eye patch and parrot on her shoulder she couldn’t have made more of a spectacle of herself. Then there was that little shampoo commercial head flick she gave as she began her presentation. Most people thought that it was too much and many thought that it was ridiculous. So the mockery started with a vengeance.

You’re supposed to make the scene, not make a scene!

Angelina Jolie – like many beautiful women – doesn’t take mockery kindly, and certainly not like a good sport. Maybe that’s because they are more accustomed to being worshiped than teased. Angelina Jolie is apparently no exception t this unwritten rule. New reports say Sexy Mamma is on the verge of a total nervous breakdown in the wake of her notorious Oscar Night Fiasco. Total nervous breakdown might sound like tabloid overstatements but she’s giving off some definite danger signals.

Jolie sticks out her leg and trips herself up!

For one thing she’s hitting the booze to cope. That started on Oscar night. Angelina supposedly got sloshed at one of the Oscar parties to cope with the whole public humiliation thing. Now alcohol works great when it comes to dealing with public humiliation but it has side effects, like even more public humiliation. In this case Killer Lips got her self so inebriated that her partner Brad Pitt had to carry her out to the car cause she was too drunk to make it under her own steam. That happened at Craig’s restaurant with George Clooney and Stacey Keibler. George is Brad’s No. 1 bud, and Keibler is some one Jolie allegedly disliked – so she shamed herself in front of an enemy and Brad in front of a friend. Could that have turned out worse? Ironic that she ended the evening without a leg to stand on!

Shes’ not a crazy cat lady – yet.

The plot thickens. In addition to boozing it up Jolie has opted for a few other coping mechanisms, like smoking and bursting into tears. The smoking has gotten so bad that InTouch – now predicting an imminent Jolie meltdown – is claiming that she’s replaced food with cigarettes. They should’ve added an alleged to that cause the jury is still out on whether Jolie actually eats.

Her panic button is stuck!

So with Jolie rapidly turning into Patsy Stone off of Absolutely Fabulous that has Brad getting impatient with her. He’s supposedly already pissed off with her for upstaging him at the Oscars, or just making an ass of herself while she was there with him. Now he has to deal with her boozy weepy unraveling. InTouch is reporting that Brad is telling her “is urging her to get over the embarrassment and grow up.

The Awkward Age

InTouch is claiming that the misconceived Oscar stunt has really blown Jolie’s cool. “Her weird, look-at-me pose while presenting screen-writing Oscars proved how insecure she really is – and ironically, she fell apart when it backfired.” explains the tabloid. So she’s allegedly “smoking, drinking and bursting into tears,” says the magazine, adding that she showed up for costume prep on a new film “rail-thin and raspy-voiced,” looking like “a shadow of her old self.” The thing is that it’s been 10 years since she was Hollywood’s most beautiful bad ass. Middle age is a rough transition for a beautiful woman to make, & it come son early for a movie actress. Hopefully she’ll pull it together. It would be a shame for her to fall to further extremes – like plastic surgery. With her features and bone structure too much of that could have her looking like Wayland Flower’s Madame! Hang in there, kid!

wondertrash
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