Gossip Overload

Heather Locklear hospitalized

Things are heating up so hold on to your hats. 1stly Heather Locklear is back in hospital. She’s had an off and on battle with booze and pills for over 15 years. She kept it a well hidden secret by drinking on the sly and checking into hotels with a sobriety coach to dry out. It came to light back when her ex Richie Sambora started seeing Charlie Sheen ex Denise Richards. The strain may have been too much for Locklear and she went off the wagon. That’s when her years of secret drinking got out.

The on and off battle is on again with a vengeance. TMZ is reporting that Heather has been admitted to hospital for a booze and pills overdose. Heather’s sister found her and phoned authorities on 2:05 PM. That’s when the Verntura County Sheriff’s Dept got involved. Paramedics who arrived on the scene decided Heather needed to be hospitalized. This comes on the heels of her bust up with former Melrose Place co star Jack Wagner.

Lindsay Lohan – Lien on me

Locklear isn’t the only celeb having a hard time of it lately. Lindsay Lohan specializes in hard times and things are now getting seriously hairy for her. She’s had her brushes with the law from time to time, and usually she comes out ahead. This time the big guns are pointed straight her way. The big guns in question belong to the IRS, and these dudes don’t mess around.

Now everyone who’s been following Lindz knows that she’s run into some serious fiscal trouble lately. That’s because she’s been out of work for awhile. Paying of a pack of lawyers to keep her ass out of jail didn’t help the situation. Some stories have had her bumming money out of friends at the super market check out so that she could afford her Ben & Jerry’s. Her current situation is more serious. Seems that she owes Uncle Sam about $93 000 that she neglected to pay. SO the IRS is putting a lien on her.

Lindz, through her spokes persons, says that shew as unaware of the problem. That’s believable, since for one thing she’s had a lot of plates spinning. Sources also say that the tax bill got lost in the shuffle – Lindz recently replaced most of her financial management. The problem should be easy to fix. Lindz recently got a million dollar pay day for doffing her duds in Playboy. Besides, if things really get rough there’s always Dancing With the Stars!

Sinead O Connor in crisis

A mess with the IRS is bad but it could be worse. It seems to be for radical Irish songstress Sinead O Conner. If you’re beyond a certain age you’ll remember that she’s the one who tore up a picture of the Pope on SNL to protest Andrew Dice Clay’s participation in the show! Clay’s Jewish so it didn’t really make sense – but it was a long time ago.

Lately Sinead’s been erratic. Things started out innocently enough. She had a gig to cut some tracks for some new album. She got herself a Twitter account about the same time. At first the tweets were straight forward – the “hi how are ya” kind. There was even a good dose of self effacing humour – “I’m a gal you can take anywhere twice, the second time to apologize“. Then things started spiraling out of control.

Sinead got married to some guy. It only lasted 16 days. Then she started tweeting about how she needed a man real bad, especially if he was Robert Downey jr! She tweeted that she was developing some strange preoccupations with fresh supermarket produce, what without a good man being handy. Finally she took to the Tweet to ask her followers if they knew any good shrinks in the Dublin/Wicklow area. She explained that she was crying out to the world because Ireland is a poor place to look for help. Well it’s now been revealed that Sinead has attempted suicide a couple of times recently – once by overdose after a performance in LA last Thursday, in which Glenn Close was in attendance! Hopefully things will improve for O Connor.


Casey Anthony’s Video Diary

For those of you who have heard about Casey Anthony’s video diary I’m sorry to tell you that the rumours are true – yes she does now have Kate Gosselin’s hair!

Psychomom has been getting a lot of flack lately for continuing to rub the public’s nose in her face. You can’t really blame her. Jail is like hell for a young horny psychopath and sometimes a gal can get lonely. Especially when the closest you can come to genuine emotion is greed, lust, and selfishness! Well never fear Casey cause there really is a guy out there for you and he’s headed straight your way!

Dreams do come true! Incidentally The Unit got busted for possession of the date rape drug Ketamine or Special K. That’s the veterinary horse tranquilizer Kate Moss used to take to calm down after a hard day’s night of allegedly cocaine fueled partying, and back in her heady Pete Doherty days! Cocaine Kate would down two of those – according to some internet gossip sites – just to get some sleep! Of course she had a lot on her mind back then what with Pete getting busted every 5 minutes and spraying blood on random passer bys. If you’re along time gossip follower than you know that it ain’t like it used to be back in the old days!

So the upshot is the celeb gossip has been in the doldrums lately, what with Paris Hilton take time off to develop her numerous brands and Lindsay Lohan in legal limbo. Even mouthy Megan Fox, the girl who can talk even when you don’t pull her cord, seems to have calmed down. Domesticity can do that. Another thing it can do is get some one like Sienna Miller back into the public eye.

Sienna shot to fame by getting jilted by Jude Law after stealing him away from his ex wife. Sienna got a lot of sympathy from folk who felt that Jude wasn’t playing the game right by cheating on his mistress like that. There are no rules but there is such a thing as how the game is played. The sympathy dried up when everyone found out what an alleged SLUT good timer Sienna is. She tool the break up like a real little chin up trooper by dating a merry go round whirl wind of lucky, if not edible, men; like Balthazar Getty. She also made more movies than she had any business doing, until some kind of rumoured falling out with Russell Crowe on Sherwood clipped her wings. Russy we got much to thank you for (say hi to Ryan Doyle next time yer by the Rock, B’ye).

So after GI Joe we kinda lost track of Sienna. I hear that shew as trying to talk herself into hot spots by claiming to be Mischa Barton for a while, but maybe that’s just made up trash you read on sites like this. Anyway those of you who have loved and missed Sienna, and are allowed of your cells to use computers will be happy to know that she has a new project in the works. After failing to revive her career by failing to revive her romance with Jude Law (he got smarter the second time around) Sienna decide to try something worth while and meaningful; like getting herself knocked up. It worked for Bristol Palin!

US Magazine is reporting that Sienna 30 and her current boyfriend (not everyone learns from others’ mistakes) Tom Sturridge 26 are expecting a baby. Now in case you’re wondering what Sienna sees in Sturridge, besides a sperm donor, one of his closest friends is Robert Pattinson. In fact in September, the duo went on a double date with Sturridge’s pal Robert Pattinson and girlfriend Kristen Stewart. The foursome knocked back drinks at London’s Groucho Club.

Now you might well be wonder what this has to do with today’s theme of celebrity crime and punishment. Well let’s just say that there ought a be a law! Then again maybe this is just a false alarm, and some info that’s got twisted out of context and blown out of proportion – like Sienna has finally found a new film job. Maybe even in a sequel to as popular Sci Fi series!

A burning Kim Kardashian question that can be answered without a Valtrex Rx!

Now you know that Kim Kardashian has a flip attitude towards marriage – allegedly (allegedly is the blogger’s get out of jail free card!) Either that or she values marraige like a terminal patient values life, by making the most of the short time available – depends on how you look at it. She’s got a lot of flack for that lately. How far does her contempt for the institution of marriage go though? Could she really be a home wrecker too? Head on over to Gossiprocks for that answer to that burning question!

Love American Style

Love and the age of Reality TV

Just because bloggers want to go on mad drunken tears for months at a time doesn’t mean that the exciting world of celebrity gossip comes to a stand still. In fact it goes remorselessly on. There are the new and developing stories like Kim Kardashian’s alleged marriage and very real divorce, after on 72 days to whomever it was that she was married to. While Kim hummed and hawed about giving the wedding gifts back – “why should I? People wanted me to have them and they help me feel better after my divorce” the mercenary TV personality might say -others wanted to know if it was true that she got a big 20 million pay out for the marriage, in the way of deals from cable TV nets works. For the amount of time that she was married those massive too big to fail pay outs almost amount to what Mike Tyson used to get fore his seconds in the ring, back in his glory days. Of course a marriage can be far nastier than any boxing match.

Truly love is a many splendored thing. Kim isn’t the only one to show it either. One of the big on going stories was the Passion of Saint Mel. Mel got into some heavy duty trouble when he started two timing Jesus with some Russian slut on the make. That wasn’t the best public relations follow up for his hi profile DUI and subsequent separation from his wife Robyn. When Mel got his new Russian sweetie Oksana Griegorieva preggers the shit hit the fan. That ultimately lead up to a whole mess of tape recorded phone calls get made public on celebrity gossip sites like Radaronline – you know how those commies are for wiretaps! It also lead to some domestic abuse charges in which Oksy claimed that she had been sacred and abused by a man who would not allow her the space for her love and gratitude to flow freely, and express it’s dubious existence in that way; as opposed to expressing it’s dubious existence through tape recorded phone calls and criminal charges.

Anyway that thing has come to a head now, for now. Mel has had his big court case on his crime against womanhood, and the judge has handed down the sentence. Basically it’s the usual celebrity deal consisting of community service, with some kind of rehab stint to get tacked on later if Mel ain’t enthusiastic about the comserve. Some celebs, like Lindsay Lohan, seem to have a real problem with that stuff. Any way here’s a short clip of our hero in his big meet up with the judge and she laid down the law – Hollywood style. Go on and grab a closer look cause you know that you want to!

no good deeds go unpunished even in Hollywood

BTW tings are getting nasty for the Kardashians with lots of rumors about her mom falling out with her BFF Kathy Lee Gifford. The National Enquirer is also reporting on some kind of Kardashian Oprah Winfrey rift. It’s apparently a falling out over charity in Haiti. While both women went there to be seen in the presence of the world’s unfortunates; Oprah roughed it with Sean Penn – and you can’t get much rougher than that except maybe Mickey Rourke 15 years ago, while Kim seemed more interested in snagging 5 star accommodations and getting pedicures! BTW Kim says the whole thing was way exaggerated. As if this wasn’t bad enough the Kardashains are having some problems with the help – no revolutions from down in the bowels of the Bastille or anything, as in the following short video:

I just hate it when people are exploitative, or exploited! Speaking of which Rick Perry has aimed some new gimmick at teens. That shows he has vision, meaning that since kids are too youg to vote he must be aware that he’s already blown it this time around. As for the gimmick – I think he’s floating a rumor that he’s related to singer Katy Perry or something.

Just what the youth of America crave – more Jesus! Anyway Jerky Dicky ain’t the only hi profile Repub making waves. Ron Paul is doing it without Jesus. He merely made recourse to a pop culture short cut by way of American Idol contestant Kelly Clarkson, and a Twitter outrage! Here’s somwething from that from our good friends over at the Young Turks (not that I know them personally or anything, I mean beyond trying to borrow money!)

That brings us to our final story of the day, and back to the themes of sex and crime with none other than Paris Hilton. Apparently the snow’s been falling out of season for her down in sunny California!


Spiderman has sticky fingers

actor superhero scandal crossovers!

If you’re former movie Spiderman Tobey Maguire then you win some and you lose some. Especially if you dabble in illegal high stakes poker games! Maguire is one of many A Listers who meet for top secret hi stakes pokers game about twice a week. The hot shots like to meet at luxury suites in Beverly Hills hotels for Texas Hold’em. Tobe’s is one of the better players, and has allegedly won about 1 million over the past year! So how did he also lose ’em?

When there are better players there are also bitter players. One of those bitter players is a hedge fund manager named Brad Ruderman. Ruderman is a CEO of Ruderman Capital Partners. Now if gambling hedge fund managers give’s you the chills it gets worse. Brad was gambling with company funds! That’s how the FBI got involved. They claim the Ruderman has lost about $25 million of investor funds during these illegal poker games.

For those of you who find these sort of shenanigans disturbing then I’m happy to give you some closure. Mr Ruderman has been convicted of wire fraud, and 2 counts of investment advisor fraud. So he’s currently cooling his heels in a Texas jail until 2018. Though he lost about 300 000 to Tobey Spiderman Maguire, he ain’t the only hi roller to get rolled. Rumor has it that there was also a billionaire businessman, a record label owner, and a director.

Now here’s where it get’s sticky. Seems that this whole deal has gotten into civil court. Tobey is getting sued over some of his winnings. The former CEO’s former clients are taking Tobey to court to try and get some of the loot back! The suit has been filed in US Bankruptcy Court in Los Angeles. The idea is that since the games were illegal, by invitation only, and had a cast of regulars; then Tobey may be some how legally liable for some of that money he wasn’t supposed to have won.

‘As part of the scheme, funds invested in (Ruderman) were transferred to persons such as Defendant (Maguire), who received the funds on account of Ruderman’s gambling losses and on account of Defendant’s gambling winnings.,’ Radar Online reported from court documents.

Naturally Tobey has hired lawyers to help him keep his ill gotten gains. He also maintains that the games were not illegal. So this thing could go the full 9 yards in court. Now crooked investment fund managers squandering honest folks’ money on gambling and strippers – I don’t know whether or not strippers were involved but this is gossip so use your imaginations – might sound a little too 2008 to be interesting, remember that some hi profile movers and shakers were regulars at the Texas Hold’em matches. So far directors and record label owners have been mentioned, plus ‘plenty of A Listers’. So if Tobey is determined to fight this who knows who’s name cold get dragged through the muck when they get called as witnesses ( Leo DeCaprio had to be in on this thing, right?). Then there bound to be all kinds of colorful supporting players in the form of cocktail waitresses, sleazy girlfriends, not to mention the aforementioned strippers. So keep you eyes peeled on Court TV to see this thing play out. That is unless pressure is brought to bear, to make Tobey drop everything and shut the fuck up before to many delicate reputations get punctured beyond repair in the Age of Scandal! I hope one of those sleazy strippers had a Wonder Woman thing going on, just like that one who got caught on security cam with Robert Downey Ironman Junior!


Andy still a dick

Even Gloria Allred wouldn’t touch this!

I’d say that Andy Dick is still fighting his demons except that these days his demons are probably ashamed to be seen with him. That doesn’t mean that Andy is ashamed to show his face out in public, and his his usual condition too; drunk and disorderly! Seems that Andy was out and about down in Temecula, CA. That’s ’cause fashionable LA establishments won’t let him on their premises. Anyway Andy was enjoying himself in a local restaurant when he got a little too high spirited. That’s a polite euphemism for got drunk out of his mind and made a fool of himself.

everyday is a reality TV episode

Now there’s no word yet on what sort of tomfoolery Andy was involved in (I’m assuming that it was more than a nipple slip), but it did result in the usual visit from the cops. Andy got charged with a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct with alcohol. Then he was escorted off the premises and to the nearest drunk tank. It must be reassuring to know that there are some establishments that still welcome him; even if it’s only into the Lindsay Lohan suite. Anyway Andy got some time to sober up and enjoy some complimentary jail house hamburgers before paying his $500 fine and being released. So he is once again free to pursue his new career as a public nuisance! Oh yeah, and he also got this nifty mugshot as a little memento!


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Michael Lohan Arrested for Felony Domestic Violence

Michael Lohan: Fame is an octagon

It’s seems like trouble is the Lohan family business. On that score Lindsay seems to be the main bread winner with her frequent legal run ins and rehab stints. Papa Mikey is no slouch when it comes to rowdy hell raising himself. Mike has this problem which is that he occasionally likes to go ape shit on what ever woman is brain damaged enough to be dating him at the time. Like Kate Major. Kate was some kind of reporter or something with Star Magazine who got hooked up with and then dumped by Jon Gosselin. She rebounded on to Mike Lohan. I’d call that a case of sloppy seconds except that Major hasn’t qualified as ‘seconds‘ for many many helpings. She’s more like that thing festering in tinfoil at the back of the refrigerator.

Anyhow they were getting along famously and Kate was saying Lohan was the great love of her life, just the way she was saying Jon Gosselin was the great love of her life. It’s a lady’s perogative to change her mind – so Kate might as well try it too. Things were going along hunky dory until some one got drunk, we’re not sure who but it could have been both of them, and then the shit hit the fan. The story that trickled down to the public via twitter, the internet, and supermarket tabs, was that Mikey got home all liquored up and found Kate drunk and out cold in an arm chair. one thing lead to another as such situations often do and soon Kate was sprawled on the floor and the cops were on the way. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time for Mikey since he only had 2 weeks left on his probation for some previous domestic assault type incident.

Some guys never win. In Mikey’s case it’s more like some guys never learn. That’s because it appears lover boy has pulled another one of his patented shit for brains stunts. The details are so far sketchy, but it goes something like this:

“Mr. Lohan was arrested after we received a call around 9 p.m. regarding a domestic dispute. He was detained after he was spotted walking on the street near our station. He showed no signs of intoxication that I’m aware of and has been cooperative.”

At least that’s the version Lt. John Ratto gave People Magazine. Maybe Lt Latto is some kind of celebrity liaison officer. The slightly more detailed version as Lohan assaulting an unnamed victim. Lohan thens tarted complaining about an “unrelated medical condition” – I’m guessing chest pains. So he was rushed over to Cedars Sinai Hospital. He’s currently laying low there while he contemplates his next move.

That next move better involve a way to raise a hughnomous wad of cash, ’cause this time the police are holding him on 200 000 bail. It’s gonna be tough for Mikey to pull in those kind of funds since Lindsay is the oly one in the family with any kind of income. Her income is currently tied up in rehab bills and lawyers fees, stemming from her own particular brand of mayhem.

So look on the bright side – Japan may be about to go nuclear, the mid east may be dissolving in turmoil, Charlie Sheen is threatening to unleash violent torpedoes of truth on the nation in the form of a cross country stand up tour, and Donald Trump may be poised to run for office on a Sarah Palin presidential ticket; but at least Michael Lohan is off the streets and in some kind of supervised environment for an indefinite period of time. Every once in a blue moon the system works! There could even be an up side to this. Mikey might eventually earn his own living by pitching a reality TV concept where he fights other D List celebs! They could call the show Michael Lohan’s Starwhackers! It’d beat American Idol to hell!

Firecrotch Redhanded

As for the second most troubled member of the Lohan clan, Lindsay is set to pull a Mel & plead no contest to her jewelry stealing charges. Her mother Dina emphasizes that o contest is not the same as guilty – it’s completely different in the way that not guilty doesn’t mean innocent. She then goes on to call LA a fucked up town – that’s not news but saying it won’t make her any friends, and talk about some imaginary film projects she’s considering for her daughter.

Personally I’d recommend a few whacked out calls to Alex Jones (make sure to frequently mention starwhackers) followed by a Lindsay Lohan nation wide stand up tour. They could call it “Sticky Fingers“, or if the Rolling Stones get pissed over that then maybe “Firecrotch Red Handed“. Read about that over @ Zimbio!


Paris Hilton prosecutor busted in coke deal

https://i1.wp.com/img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2011/news/110404/david-schubert-320.jpgParis Hilton is a gal who gets in and out of trouble. Like Lindsay Lohan she usually gets away with it. Usually it’s because she always lands on her feet. Sometimes one of her 9 lives comes in handy. Then there are those other occasions when her deal with darkness must be responsible. Like lately.

Paris has a fondness for the kind of party favours that you can’t get at your local 5 & dime variety store – not unless there’s a twitchy homeless guy standing right outside the door. These are the kind of party favours that can get you in a bit of trouble with the law. Trouble is what Paris got when she got nabbed with a significant amount of cocaine in a purse she later claimed wasn’t hers – even though it had all her ID in it. Naturally Paris had to go off for another one of those smashing mugshots of hers. She was then set free to continue with her own special brand of celebrity mayhem!

As usual when Ms. Hilton is involved things can take strange and unexpected turns. Like in this case. Paris was tried for her hard partying ways by a Las Vegas prosecutor named David Charles Schubert, 47. In fact he’s more than a prosecutor – he’s a chief deputy DA. He’s no stranger to publicity either since he also threw the book at Bruno Mars over his cocaine related misdoings. So he’s had some previous experience with drug busts and the kind of bad PR they can bring. No previous experience could’ve prepared him for what was about to happen – though he really should’ve known.

Seems that Dave was out and about, on the street as it were, when he ran into an old acquaintance. Never one to breeze past one of the little people Dave stopped to pass the time of day. One thing lead to another and pretty soon the chief deputy DA was making a drug deal. By drug deal I mean that the dude was buying crack.

Now there’s no shame in that. Chief Deputy DA is a rough job high on demands and with tons of pressure. You’re only as good as your last win because those hungry jaws poised just above you on the food chain are expecting results and not excuses. So sometimes having something that gives you a little added edge – like Popeye with his spinach – makes everyone happy. Everyone except for the poor buggers who get sent to the klink!

It’s a victimless crime and if no body sees it then no body gets mad. However in this case the aforementioned David Charles Schubert made a whopper of a mistake – he did let some one see him do it. The person who saw this dirty little deed go down was probably the worst person in the world to be standing near by when you’re buying dope off of a street dealer – and that’s and undercover cop! According to the Las Vegas Review Journal

Schubert was arrested by a Las Vegas police patrol officer about 4:51 p.m. near Desert Inn Road and Maryland Parkway.

The patrol officer saw what he thought was a drug transaction and stopped Schubert’s vehicle near Sierra Vista Drive and Cambridge Street, police said.

The result was that Schubert was whisked off to the very same facility that Hilton and Mars were taken to, and for much the same treatment: finger printing, mugshot, and I assume strip search followed by anal cavity exam. Officers of the court need to be held to higher standards so we don’t want anyone thinking he got off easy by slipping something up his sleeve, or up anything else!

So far Schubert is being cooperative – a really aggressive anal cavity exam will to that to you. However that attitude is a little after that fact. Since he got caught red – or white -handed, the prosecutors are going at him. His boss DA David Roger is particularly disappointed. He expressed his disapproval in the following terms:

“It’s disheartening to know the individual who I assigned to prosecute high-level drug cases is allegedly using rock cocaine. His future is bleak with the district attorney’s office.”

I haven’t heard such strong language since the last time I brought home a report card! The fact that Schubert was named to a high level Las Vegas anti drug task force probably heightens the disappointment. No one wants to think about a fox guarding the hen house scenario!

Not everyone is appalled and disgusted with this so called law enforcement officials sleazy shenanigans. Schubert’s erstwhile adversary – the Red Baron to his Snoopy – has spoken out in support of the disgraced, and by now tweaking like crazy, prosecutor. David Chesnoff is a hi profile Vegas attorney who’s crossed words with Schubert in both the Hilton and Mars cases. Chesnoff had this to say about his fallen adversary!

“I’m a big believer in the Constitution. I believe everyone is innocent until proven guilty. And I always root for the underdog. I will say this: David’s always been a real professional and always treated me with respect, so I wish him the best.”

Well there you go – trouble comes when you least suspect it and you find friends where you never thought to look. That ought’a do as a moral to this sad and sorry cautionary tale. That is unless you wanna make something out of it like – LEGALIZE DRUGS ALREADY! Then again others like a more traditional moral like “Men who live in glass house better not throw rocks – even if they’re rocks of cocaine“. As for myself, I’ll go for something more common sense and nonjudgmental, like “Make sure that your own nose is clean before you go sticking it into other people’s business!. Unless you’re an entertainment blogger that is – then go for it!

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