Dreamboat Annie is a knock out!

actress reverts to feral state!

Annie Hathaway’s most recent role is as Catwoman in the up coming Batman. She’s taking the role very seriously too. In fact it might be bringing out the young lady’s feral steak. Anne was sparring with one of the stunt men a got so involved in her erotica villainess role play that she shoved the but of a gun right into the poor man’s eye. Naturally that gave him a headache and a hell of a shiner! Anne seemed rattled by her sudden surge of enthusiasm and of course tried to make nice. Being gracious to the hired help is part of what makes her the class act that she is. The guy reassured her that it was okay, too. however Annie felt the need to go the extra mile. She bought the injured fall guy a silver pen complete with an engraved inscription -“remember no one packs a punch like Anne Hathaway“. It’s a little keepsake to remember her by, after the swelling goes down!

feral cats & repeat offenders!

Trouble is that this isn’t Anne first incident. back when she was doing Bride Wars with Kate Hudson (member her?), there was an altercation on the set. The pair were filming a fight seen and Anne got a little carried away. Apparently she smacked Hudson a little harder than the script called for. Now the gossip rags wrote this up as an amusing incident that was only a part of the scripted scene. Ting is that Kate had been riding Anne pretty hard about her ‘loser boyfriend’ at the time Raffaello Follieri (a name Anne probably hopes that she’ll never hear again, and probably won’t as long as the poor sod is rotting away in his 8 x 12!)! “Loser boyfriend” were Kate’s words.

Catwoman’s life of crime

By way of back story, though everyone still remembers, Raf was a high flying Italian entrepreneur who was making a mint off of naive American business men by telling them that he was selling Church real estate on the sly for the Vatican. One of the folks he cheated was Ron Buckle, a billionaire who runs some kind of dept store chain. in addition to that he was also a good buddy of Bull Clinton, and sank a ton into both Bull’s campaign and that of his wife Hilary. In fact when Bull hang’s out in LA he’s stays at the Buckle estate, when he’s not crashing with David Geffen! The Buckle connection got Raf and Annie invited to many White House to do’s before everything went horribly wrong!

a brief history of catfights

Anyhow Kate was teasing Anne about this, as girls are wont to do. Next thing you know there was smack across the kisser with plenty of snots and tears following! Though everyone said that it was a stunt gone wrong, when you have estrogen and boy talk and then punch comes to shove, who can say? You’ve all been through high school so you know how it is. Many people figured that Anne might have deliberately hauled off and nailed her. Since Kate was the hot young actress of the day, and getting so carried away with that she was strutting around like her shit didn’t stink, most people were willing to give Anne a pass on it. Believe me that the blind eye came with a friendly wink and a smile!

violent femmes – “It was my PMS, I swear!

The thing is that the most recent occurrence makes this Anne’s second, that we know off. Fact is that we don’t know how many people she may have clobbered that we’ve never heard about! As far as we know pretty Annie might be prowling around hoped up on Starbucks, Red Bull, and who knows what, until she’s like Britney Spears channeling Mike Tyson. Before you know it she’s crazier than Bjork at the airport check in line!Meanwhile the whole thing gets covered up – as usual – to protect a major Hollywood asset, and MK Ultra monarch slave (Anne is currently being programmed with kitten scripting – see Fritz Springmeier!). Though that keeps the carpet from getting pulled out from under her career, as Linda Hogan would put it; it prevents her from getting the help she needs. That’s just what happened to Megan Fox with her Tourette’s Syndrome, and both Mischa Barton and Heather Locklear with their secret drinking. Now you might say that I’ve got my tin foil hat on too tight, but you’ve got to admit that it looks like Annie has some impulse control issues. Let’s put it this way – don’t piss her off or Annie will knock you the fuck out!

wondertrash

Michael Lohan Arrested for Felony Domestic Violence

Michael Lohan: Fame is an octagon

It’s seems like trouble is the Lohan family business. On that score Lindsay seems to be the main bread winner with her frequent legal run ins and rehab stints. Papa Mikey is no slouch when it comes to rowdy hell raising himself. Mike has this problem which is that he occasionally likes to go ape shit on what ever woman is brain damaged enough to be dating him at the time. Like Kate Major. Kate was some kind of reporter or something with Star Magazine who got hooked up with and then dumped by Jon Gosselin. She rebounded on to Mike Lohan. I’d call that a case of sloppy seconds except that Major hasn’t qualified as ‘seconds‘ for many many helpings. She’s more like that thing festering in tinfoil at the back of the refrigerator.

Anyhow they were getting along famously and Kate was saying Lohan was the great love of her life, just the way she was saying Jon Gosselin was the great love of her life. It’s a lady’s perogative to change her mind – so Kate might as well try it too. Things were going along hunky dory until some one got drunk, we’re not sure who but it could have been both of them, and then the shit hit the fan. The story that trickled down to the public via twitter, the internet, and supermarket tabs, was that Mikey got home all liquored up and found Kate drunk and out cold in an arm chair. one thing lead to another as such situations often do and soon Kate was sprawled on the floor and the cops were on the way. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time for Mikey since he only had 2 weeks left on his probation for some previous domestic assault type incident.

Some guys never win. In Mikey’s case it’s more like some guys never learn. That’s because it appears lover boy has pulled another one of his patented shit for brains stunts. The details are so far sketchy, but it goes something like this:

“Mr. Lohan was arrested after we received a call around 9 p.m. regarding a domestic dispute. He was detained after he was spotted walking on the street near our station. He showed no signs of intoxication that I’m aware of and has been cooperative.”

At least that’s the version Lt. John Ratto gave People Magazine. Maybe Lt Latto is some kind of celebrity liaison officer. The slightly more detailed version as Lohan assaulting an unnamed victim. Lohan thens tarted complaining about an “unrelated medical condition” – I’m guessing chest pains. So he was rushed over to Cedars Sinai Hospital. He’s currently laying low there while he contemplates his next move.

That next move better involve a way to raise a hughnomous wad of cash, ’cause this time the police are holding him on 200 000 bail. It’s gonna be tough for Mikey to pull in those kind of funds since Lindsay is the oly one in the family with any kind of income. Her income is currently tied up in rehab bills and lawyers fees, stemming from her own particular brand of mayhem.

So look on the bright side – Japan may be about to go nuclear, the mid east may be dissolving in turmoil, Charlie Sheen is threatening to unleash violent torpedoes of truth on the nation in the form of a cross country stand up tour, and Donald Trump may be poised to run for office on a Sarah Palin presidential ticket; but at least Michael Lohan is off the streets and in some kind of supervised environment for an indefinite period of time. Every once in a blue moon the system works! There could even be an up side to this. Mikey might eventually earn his own living by pitching a reality TV concept where he fights other D List celebs! They could call the show Michael Lohan’s Starwhackers! It’d beat American Idol to hell!

Firecrotch Redhanded

As for the second most troubled member of the Lohan clan, Lindsay is set to pull a Mel & plead no contest to her jewelry stealing charges. Her mother Dina emphasizes that o contest is not the same as guilty – it’s completely different in the way that not guilty doesn’t mean innocent. She then goes on to call LA a fucked up town – that’s not news but saying it won’t make her any friends, and talk about some imaginary film projects she’s considering for her daughter.

Personally I’d recommend a few whacked out calls to Alex Jones (make sure to frequently mention starwhackers) followed by a Lindsay Lohan nation wide stand up tour. They could call it “Sticky Fingers“, or if the Rolling Stones get pissed over that then maybe “Firecrotch Red Handed“. Read about that over @ Zimbio!

wondertrash

Celebrity Smack Down #2

Remembrance of things past


Everyone loves a sequel (unless it was that last Indiana Jones flick, in which case even Shia Labouef thought it sucked), and if you liked yesterday’s post then you’re in luck. In the last post I covered how celebrities can sometimes have a touch of loose lips – the kind that Hollywood plastic surgeons can’t tighten. IN fact you might say that one of their favorite yoga postures is “foot in mouth” pose (a shock to those of you who were gonna guess “head up ass“). One of the highest horse power yaps in Tinsel Town belongs to Megan Fox (when I say that her mouth is hi horse power I don’t mean it in the way that they say *wink, wink*). Megan’s mouth is so prolific in silly utterances that it only seemed right to do an entire post on Little Miss Mouthy. Especially since she managed to provoke the very mild ire of Lynda Carter – which is very hard to do (When Lynda begins with “I like her but…” look for the steam shooting out of her ears). Megan is by no means the only celebrity offender with a mouth loaded and ready for action. Take Keith Richards for instance.

side effects

Keith has got a lot of credibility as the heart and soul of the Rolling Stones. He’s also done an ungodly amount of drugs over the years. IN this case too much of a good thing has had side effects. Let’s just say that every so often Keith’s mind wanders and his mouth decides to follow along and see where it goes. Just like the time Keith claimed to have snorted his dead dad’s ashes (unless it was that container of Snalt he left lying around). Then he took it back. Then he took back the take back. He’s said some other stuff too, like Mick Jagger is a stuck up sell out (which is unfair – he’s no Sir Ben Kingsley!). Of course Keith is jealous over Jagger’s knighthood, and has even taken to calling him “Mike” or “Mikey” within earshot and just out of spite. He also said that Johnny Depp looks like a drug dealer – but he didn’t mean anything by that.

Striking out in Sweden

Well for a guy who can dish it out he has some trouble taking it and that has lead to the latest occurrence of Keith Richards Public Outrage Mania! The story started back in 2007 when the Stones were still touring. Back then they were in Sweden. Despite what Jessica Alba may say about the land of Ikea and sex change surgery, one particular Swede was less than neutral about the Stones. Markus Larrson covered the concert and in his review referred tot he band as amateurs. Now that’s a lot kinder than the rest of us who call them washed up years ago – but Keith took exception.

Life & the City of Light

Now you have to watch what you say because even if you trash talk from a discreet distance time & chance can put you face to face with your target. That’s what recently happened when Richards and Larrson met face to face in Paris. Keith was in the City of Light to promote his new autobiography called Life. He made a stop at a hotel to meet and greet some members of the media when lo and behold who should he find himself face to face with but Mr. Larrson.

Gothenberg a go go

At the time of the ’07 Gothenberg concert Richards had been so irate about Larrson’s review (2 out of 5 stars) that he demanded an apology. This time he didn’t recognize Larrson – well not right away anyway. It seems that time,, and years of drug abuse were on Larrson’s side since Richards was chatting amicable with him for about ten minutes before he realized what was what (Keith must be improving. He recently revealed in an interview that Johnny Depp had been dropping by the house for 2 years before he figured out who Edward Scissorhands was. “I thought he was just another drug dealer my son dragged in.” Richards explained).

Don’t worry till you see the blanks of his eyes

When the wheels finally clicked sparks started flying. Richards confronted the Swede angrily. Markus explains, “His eyes got black and he was absolutely furious. He stood up and asked if we would put out the lights and settle the disagreement straight away. At first I was just surprised, I thought he was pulling my leg, but then I realized he was serious and then I felt uncomfortable and I just wanted to get out of there pretty fast. Things didn’t get better after that. Markus then claims that the elderly rocker hit him over the head before telling him “You’re lucky to get out of here alive!!!!!! I assume that Markus added the exclamation marks. Keith doesn’t seem like more than a three exclamation mark dude at most. Still you get the point – hairy situation.

trash talking a two way street

So let that be a lesson to all you trash talkers out there. We all enjoy the good fun of talking smack about others. Especially if they’re famous. Even more so if they’re natural targets (speaking of which it has just been announced that Carrie Prejean is pregnant – so the world can look forward to the first birth of a silicon based life form!). Yet beware. Even if you’re a protected member of the media, and even if you’re safely away in the land of democratic socialism and seasonal affective disorder, your words can find you out and come back to haunt you. Or at the very least hit you over the head.

sorry Charlie

BTW speaking of celebrity trash talk Gloria Allred has opened her big toxic yap again. Now whenever Allred open that maw of her’s it must send off emissions of fallout like Chernobyl. This time the toxic cloud was directed towards Charlie Sheen, and the words were in the form of an open letter (though you have to admire her for putting her pen where her mouth is, it’s also stupid for a lawyer to put anything in writing). The letter was a sort of diatribe calling Sheen out and detailing some of the violent incidents he’s had with women over the years – you know like the time he shot John Travolta’s wife. Here’s the letter:

Dear Charlie,

You did it again. I can almost see the smirk on your face. You were involved in a scandal in New York where you damaged property and your female companion was allegedly so frightened by your conduct that she hid in the bathroom.

The resulting coverage boosted your ratings for your CBS show “Two and a Half Men”. What you did in the hotel room seemed not to faze you any more than your past criminal conduct has.

Yesterday you were quoted on Extra as saying “If a guy has one bad night everybody goes insane and panics. I’m not panicking.” I can understand why you aren’t panicking Charlie. By now, you understand that the mainstream press and the Hollywood press have their own addiction. They are addicted to celebrities and to scandal, and you are one of their favorites.

They love covering what you do, because it is good for their business as well. The fact that you have hurt women in the past and that you present a potential risk to them in the future if you do not get help seems to be of little or no concern to the press.

They either ignore it, gloss over it or minimize it. For example, last Saturday night, CNN aired what they titled “The Charlie Sheen Story”. Nowhere in the broadcast was it mentioned that a criminal case was filed against you in Malibu, CA in 1997 (People v. Sheen, Case #7MA0345) or that in that case, my client, Brittany Ashland, (photo above) alleged that she suffered substantial physical injuries because of you. Nobody mentioned that you pled no contest in that case to one count of battery with serious injuries, Penal Code Section 243D, a misdemeanor. CNN completely failed to state that your sentence was one year suspended jail time, two years probation, $2,800 fine, 300 hours of community service and 8 counseling sessions.

Elsewhere in the media, there was also hardly any mention of that case when reporters discussed your latest scandal. Instead the discussion was about you, your addictions, whether you party with prostitutes, and your ability to continue to work on your hit show. In other words, with rare exception it was all about Charlie, with minimal mention of women you have hurt in the past.

Almost nobody mentioned that in the recent criminal case brought against you in Colorado that you were originally charged with felony conduct against your wife Brooke Meuller. Almost nobody quoted the full quote of one of the responding police officers to your home in Aspen.

Valerie McFarlane (also my client) has stated “I was one of the responding police officers on Christmas day 2009 to the Sheen home in Aspen. During my investigation I interviewed Charlie Sheen’s wife. I also observed her injuries and photographed them for the record. I observed a red mark on the upper part of her neck which appeared to be as a result of a strangulation hold and red marks on her arms. I also saw older bruises that appeared to be in the healing process. A knife was recovered at the scene which Brooke alleged had been used by the defendant to threaten her. Brooke was crying uncontrollably as she described the incident to me.”

In fact, the press barely mentioned that you were convicted of misdemeanor assault on your wife, Brooke Meuller for what you did to her in your home on Christmas Day 2009.

After all, it was only the mother of your children that you assaulted in your home.

Dangerous and criminal conduct against a woman seems not to matter to most press. What really matters to them is Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

The fact that the court failed to require you to serve any time in custody for your criminal conduct in the case involving the victim Brittany Ashland, and the criminal case involving your wife is not generally considered important enough for serious discussion. Instead there seems to be an almost secret admiration for how you get away without serious consequences for your dangerous criminal conduct.

I was in court in Aspen and noticed the smirk on your face when the court failed to sentence you to jail time. I understood why you smirked. As a celebrity you seemed to get away with what the typical person without money and power cannot. You might also have felt that the criminal justice system as well as most press stands in awe of your celebrity and appears to be seduced by it.

Charlie, I for one am not seduced by it. I don’t think assaulting and hurting women is funny. I am not one of those standing in line hoping for an interview with you, or an autograph.

Instead, I think about women you will meet in the future. Will they be at risk of harm if you do not get help?

I think about your young daughters. What kind of message are they receiving about violent criminal conduct that men like you are permitted to engage in with little or no consequence?

What if men did to them what you have done to women?

You may have a smirk on your face now, but I doubt that you would think that it was funny if your daughters were the victims of criminal acts. At this point, for the sake of your daughters and other people’s daughters I hope you and your enablers (the celebrity press) get help before it is too late.

Gloria Allred
Attorney at Law
November 9, 2010

Allred knows a thing or two about sleazy antics

Some, like the author of Crazy Days & Crazy Nights, have applauded Allred in this instance. However it’s worth remembering that Allred has an even more colourful history than Sheen. She’s currently repping Rachel Uchitel – one of Tiger Woods’ sluts, she may or may not have represented one of Charlie’s many many abused exs, and she started her career of infamy by launching a gender discrimination suit against the Boyscouts of America. Basically she’s Hollywood’s version of an ambulance chaser. It seems like Allred will do or say anything to get her name in the press – much like Balloon Boy Dad Richard Heene – though it should be pointed out for the sake of possible libel litigation that Gloria Allred has not now, nor has she ever, launched anyone in a balloon – that we know of. Whether or not she’s capable of it is something that I leave to your imaginations. Hey, you guys have been around!

PS Don’t let the trash talk go too far. Remember to mind your language. Who wants to be in need of muzzling?

wondertrash

Justin Bieber lashes out at 12 year old

Justin Bieber is back in the news. He’s been in the news pretty frequently ever since he was ‘discovered’ on youtube and turned into a Mylie Cyrus type phenomenon. After that he became a media sensation and a Donny Osmond style heart throb to teen girls across North America. The ‘phenomenon’ thing started to wear thin fast as more and more ‘odd’ Bieber stories started to come forward: Bieber fans threaten to kill Kim Kardashian, Bieber gets beaned with a water bottle during a concert, Bieber gets arrested – for breaking curfew, Bieber swears at a floor director – in Australia, Bieber introducing his new nail polish line, etc.

The following story continues on the weird trend. Seems that Bieber and a 14 person entourage of his – he’s already outgrown real friends – were patronizing a lazer tag facility in Richmond BC when things got out of hand. Bieber ran afoul of another young tagger, and some kind of altercation occurred.

Details about the altercation vary. So far the unofficial version is that some annoying little kid was following Bieber around and calling him a “faggot“. Bieber finally had enough and clobber the little brat. According to some unofficial statements Bieber felt that he was being bullied, and what with stories of homophobic taunting so much in the news lately, reacted by pounding the little arsehole. He felt bullied and wanted to put a stop to things.Trouble is that Bieber is 16, and the bully was 12. Many of you who still remember being 12 will recall how unlikely bullying anyone 4 years older than you was. That is unless you were a steroid terror.

Staff have a slightly different story. Planet Lazer employees say that the kid and his cronies were following Bieber around and shooting him with their guns while he was trying to play a game of his own. He finally got fed up and clobber the little snot boy. It’s what anyone might have done one staff member confided.

Then there’s the official version coming from Bieber’s official public relation representatives. According to Bieber’s people the event never occurred. So there’s nothing to explain. Now that is concise and convenient. It’s just not very convincing.

Part of the reason that it’s not convincing is because a police report was filed on the incident. According to the boys in blue, also known as the RCMP: “On Friday around 5:30 p.m. we got a report that a 12-year-old boy was allegedly assaulted at an entertainment facility in Richmond. The boy sustained minimal injuries and did not require medical attention. We are continuing our investigation.” No other info will be released at this time, the spokesperson added.” The fuzz won’t release any more pertinent details both both participates in the altercation are under 18, and so protected by young offenders legislation.

So young Mister Bieber cotinues to stound and amaze us with behaviour uncharacteristic of a bubble gummer. Maybe he’s already rejecting the Corey Haim like aura of creepy wholesomeness that’s been projected onto him. Maybe he’s just following the normal life cycle of over night child stardom. If that’s true then look for him to get into serious shot soon enough. Then again maybe the whole thing is what it is – something that’s been blow way out of proportion, like Bieber himself. Anyway since the lad is 16 look for a whole new level of Bieber Fever tabloid trash stories once he gets his license to drive.

Speaking of Tabloid Trash Stories, Wondertrash readers will probably be aware that some weird shit is happening lately. For instance New York had a recent UFO attack or something. Media later reported that the UFO sightings were hot air balloons released form a local elementary school. Now while that can happen – Tom Petty once believed that the Earth was under attack when he saw balloons being released from a wedding held on the estate of neighbor Adam Sandler. Petty mistook the balloons for flying saucers and hopped in his car, with his wife, to drive directly towards the invaders. Petty discovered his mistake, but not before he got into a collision with some guest of Sandler’s on their way to the event by car. Petty went on to lament that his wife no longer allowed him to drive after pulling that particular boner!

The trouble with these stories is that they leave so much unexplained. For instance if Petty really believed that the Earth was being invaded why would he drive towards the saucers, and not more sensibly, away from them? In the case of the New York UFO’s, why would America’s most hardened cynics make the same mistake as a man who left his brain, and now his driver’s license, in the 60’s?

The answer is that there’s more going on here than you and I realize. What that is has something to do with the New World Order and their nefarious plans to recondition you consciousness using current events. Like the Chilean Miners. After a couple of weeks in the bowels of the earth they’re already poised on the verge of international Susan Boyle type stardom. They’re making some heavy plans too, like forming a foundation to sell their story and divvy up the proceeds. Pretty sophisticated for rural miners. If Gary Bell and the View From Space is right it’s because they’re no longer Chilean miners but nephilim possessed Illuminati agents who were taken over by the spirits of the fallen while they were in the bowels of Mother Gaia. Just have a listen to Bell’s latest broadcast below and then decide for yourself is this isn’t an usual amount of fuss over a mining mishap considering that such things happen from time to time through out the world from the Southern States to Australia, without get the kind of reality TV attention that this has – just wait for the eventual movie!

http://www.4shared.com/embed/406371010/7fca3cbc

wondertrash

Love, crazy, & Tila Tequila

fame means being the last one to know


“Love can be crazy sometimes” according to Vivica Fox. Vivica should know since she’s dating club promoter Slimm. Not that Slimm sounds particular crazy. In fact he can be oddly business like in affairs of the heart, which may sounds crazy to the romantics out there.

“don’t take this personally – but get lost”

The odd business like part is Slimm’s recent dumping of Vivica by memo. Slimm recently publication released a memo announcing that he and Vivica were no longer together. Trouble is that this was the first Viv had heard about it. So basically she got dumped by general release memo. Maybe it would be less humiliating if she tried thinking of it as a ‘romantic cut back’.

love is never having to say you’re sorry by a memo

Anyway Slimm releases another memo the next day taking back the dumping. In other words he announced that he and Viv were back together. No word on what was behind the sudden flip flop. Perhaps the memo wasn’t supposed to go out until next week? Love is never being the last one to know – though fame usually means that.

celebrity nuisance attacked by enraged mob

In other news Tila Tequila got the shit beat out of her. Tila was playing at some event called A Gathering of Juggaloos – which sounds like some kind of low end Lalapalooza. AS soon as Tila went out on stage to perform the shit hit – literally. Tila claims that fans got enraged and started pulling portapotties apart so that they could heave shit at her. Then they started throwing bottles, bricks, and anything they could lift and hurl in her general direction.

Here’s Tila’s account of the Battle at Faygo:

“I went onstage and immediately, before I even got on stage, DUDES were throwing HUGE STONE ROCKS in my face, beer bottles that slit my eye open, almost burnt my hair on fire cuz they threw fire crackers on stage, and they even took the shit out of the port-0-potty and threw shit and piss at me when I was onstage.”

These people were trying to kill me. So then after the last blow to my head with the firecracker they threw at me exploded, my bodygaurd and the other security grabbed me and ran as fast as they could to the shitty trailor. Since their security SUCKS, the 2 thousand people ran after us, trying to kill me. They almost got me so they finally reach the trailor, blood all over myself, cant stop bleeding, then all of a sudden, all 2 thousand people surround the trailor and busts the windows!!! Even the guys INSIDE with me were shaking! Their hands were shaking cuz they were so scared! So 3 guys inside the trailor had to grab a table and push it over the broken windows and grabbed all the chairs they could find so hold the people from outside back. It was scary as hell!”

The security – which Tila describes as “shitty” – finally got it together and hustled her off the stage Then, in a – “I swear I thought turkeys could fly” moment, a crowd of 2000 pursued Tila and her 3 security guards to a trailer they had sought refuge in. The enraged mob then started smashing windows and trying to push the walls in. Meanwhile Team Tila sat shaking inside. Now that’s more or less the first hand story that Tequila gave to TMZ, and other celebrity web sites. Police are confirming that something bad nearly went down – but won’t give details. This does give Tila something to blog about over @ OMGMissTila. Like PerezHilton, Tila not only brings you the news but is often actively involved in the story.

wondertrash

Dog Days for Megan Fox

Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin conspire to destroy American television!

Looks like good news bad news depending on how you feel about Mel Gibson and reality TV. An unofficial, and there fore unscientific, online poll hosted by news site Zimbio has 74% of persons poled claiming that they would see another Mel Gibson movie. That’s almost as many as would avoid watching a new Bristol Palin Levi Johnston reality TV series! So who knows – there may actually be something to this; the pole I mean, and not that awful reality TV series that the Palins are planning. BTW I hear that the real reason why Mother Gosselin has gone of to visit Sister Sarah in Alaska is that they have appalling plans for a joint reality TV venture!

before Megan, after Fox

Now that reality is out of the way it’s back to the movies. Megan Fox used to have a promising career before she publicly mouthed off about director Michael Bay. It was all a part of her “straight shooter” routine. I say routine because they say in Follywood that when you can fake sincerity you’ve got it made. Megan may have faked it not wisely but too well since Bay took umbrage (got pissed off!). Some of his minions (flunkies) also began posting shit about her online; like that she’s a semi literate, half retarded TV actress with too much plastic surgery and a diva complex.

Bay unofficially mad; Megan officially out of a job

Once Megan figured out that Bay was unofficially mad she packed up the straight talk and put her motor mouth in reverse gear. At an awards show she publicity expressed her gratitude to Bay and the Transformers film franchisewhich has given me so much“. In another interview Mouthy Megan says that Transformers gave her a world, since before that she was sitting around eating Ramen Noodles. Informed Megan followers will probably doubt that she ever said any such thing since she started on a little show called Faith & Hope for 5 years, so it’s not like she was a complete nobody. Besides she confided to Conan O Brien, during an interview, that her favorite food is found at Red Lobster, and not in boil in the bag pouches! Now lest you accuse me of trying to put words in Megan’s mouth, here’s that Ramen Noodle interview, from Australian TV.

pretty disappointed & a fleet of lead balloons

I am so very disappointed in that young woman! Megan’s pretty disappointed too since Michael Bay went from being unofficial mad to officially dropping her from T3! Megan had other irons in the fire, like Jennifer’s Body *smirk* and Jonah Hex *snicker*. Still when your immediate career plans consist of a bunch of films that will drop faster than a fleet of lead balloons, it doesn’t hurt to have a guy like Bay in your corner.

new It

Maybe that’s why Megan is royally pissed about Transformers new addition. The new addition is Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington Whiteley, who has been hired to play Shia LaBeouf’s new love interest (man for a nerd that guy gets some real action – on screen anyway!). Now Rosie is a VS/underwear model so she has tons of previous experience when it comes to standing around looking hot & stupid. So much so that the entertainment media is calling her the new It Girl. That’s what has Megger’s knickers in a knot.

The old new It Girl & Coming Up Rosie

You see Meggers used to be the new It Girl, back when she had a viable movie career. In fact she’s still attached to the title. Coming in second regularly in those online World’s Hottest polls can be an important ego booster! Now everything is coming up Rosie. In fact RHW is booked up in magazine covers right up until the July 4rth 2011 Transformers 3 release. Those covers don’t just help promote the film but are also a valuable source of income, so that’s a lot of work! That has Meggers muttering under her breath, and often right out loud, about how this just isn’t right. Megan puts it more bluntly: she refers to Rosie as that “Victoria’s Secret slut” and complains about the amount of attention the young woman is getting. It’s reassuring that Meggers hasn’t lost that refreshing directness we’ve come to associate with her!

“Hi. You might remember me. I used to be the next Angelina Jolie.”

While Megan might be mad others are pleased with the change up, like the film’s crew. They’re describing RHW as a great change, specifically she’s a ‘real doll’, ‘sweet’, and ‘a joy to work with’. The inference then being that this is a change because Meggers was none of those things. In fact behind the scenes scuttlebutt is that the whole crew loves The New It Girl. So that leaves Megan stuck with her title of The Old New It Girl. (I suppose that means Angelina Jolie is officially still the It Girl but unofficially the Old It Girl). As masseuse botherer Al Gore could tell her, being the former next something without actually having been anything ain’t gonna get you anywhere!

if sex stills sells will Movies Inc bring sexy back?

Still there is some hope. The movie could tank. Then the new it girl will get blamed and the studio will want the old new it girl back. With money at stake it would be out of Bay’s hands. Producers outrank directors in the Follywood pecking order as directors outrank leading A list actors/actresses. Studio executives outrank the lot and they only think about deals and the bottom line (that’s why we have so many films based on comic books and old TV shows these days!). The executroids won’t want money squandered on a personal grudge, and so might lay down the law to force Bay to bring Fox back out of the dog house.

The face is familiar but what the hell was the name again? Worst movie moniker since Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Besides, Rosie Huntington Whiteley has almost no chance of making it as an actress. For one thing her name is almost too long to be remembered. That’s okay as a model; people only have to remember your face. As an actress they’ve got to remember your name. Hers would be tough to keep in mind without a 3×5 index card. So unless she changes it to something like Rose Hunt, or even Apu de Beaumarchais, she might have to go back to staring blankly into still cameras to earn her keep. In which case the next whirlwind 12 months of Transformers promotional magazine covers will be excellent experience – & save some money kid. You wouldn’t want to wind up as the next Megan Fox!

BTW there’s something that really needs to be addressed. Those stories going around about Anne Hathaway sneaking around Comic Con disguised as Hawkgirl are probably false.


Anne Hathaway hawkgirl comic conAnne Hathaway hawkgirl comic con
Also if you like Hollywood history check out

All about Oscar: the history and politics of the Academy Awards

Von Emanuel Levy

on googlebooks!

wondertrash

Bad vs Evil

The couple that you can’t get enough of, Mel & Oksana, are at it again. Apparently there is some kind of hush-hush emergency hearing under way in which Mel’s people are accusing Oksana’s people of fabricating a case against him. They haven’t been specific on what they mean by fabricating, although some Mel’s supporters have claimed that the tapes were doctored. Not that Mel didn’t say all those awful things about wetbacks, niggers, Russian cunts, blow jobs, rose gardens, etc. It’s just that he was taken out of contest – he didn’t mean it that way. Of course that begs the question of how do you take “you should be raped to death by a pack of niggers & wetbacks, but first you will blow me!” out of context? At least it’s more plausible than Mel’s original explanation: that Oksana had faked the tapes by splicing together lines from his old movies! Then again considering some of Mel’s taglines that’s completely plausible!

As for Oksana, she may be a gold digging whore but she has her price. Word has it the Oksana was offered a 15 million dollar separation package if she would just agree to keep quiet about Mel’s racist ranting and homicidal threats. Oksana initially accepted the whopping offer bit then reneged on the deal. Now that’s only good sense – always reject the first offer! Besides perhaps Oksana decided that the world needed to know how mad Mad Max is. That would strengthen her custody claim on young Lucia. Young Lucia would strengthen Oksana’s claim on Mel’s waning fortunes. That could add up to much more than a paltry 15 million.

Oksana’s claims of abuse, both to her and her daughter might be intended to boost the custody case too. Oksana released some rough looking shots of her self with jagged broken front teeth, and claiming that Mel had broken her expensive dental veneers while in a fit of rage. She has also released some pictures of Lucia Gibson Grigorieva – her first tabloid shots and already more sensational than anything released about the Brangelina brood! – showing a small red mark on the baby’s chin. Now the mark is about the same size as a pimple, but Oksana insists that this is proof of child abuse. It supposedly occurred during the incident in which Mel broke Oksana’s teeth, and wasn’t there before the incident. Of course a claim like that can cut both ways since observers are asking why the hell she stayed with him for a year after that, if he was such a menace. Should it turn out that Oksana herself made the mark on her daughtyer’s chin, say to support her custody case, then people are gonna wanna cut her up with rusty razor blades.

To cap things off Mel is mounting a counter offensive – as if he hasn’t been offensive enough already. Apparently he’s having Grigorieva investigated for extortion. With so many illegally recorded tapes and demands for money it seems like a reasonable case. So Mel’s people met with the LA Sheriff’s Dept yesterday (they still owe him over that drunk driving arrest) to present evidence that Oksana threatened to go public with the tapes if Mel didn’t pay up to the tune of ten million. Oksana says that’s ridiculous – after all she’s already claimed to have walked away from a 15 million offer that she originally accepted. Maybe that’s why she’s mentioning it now. It never hurts to try and grab a little creditability, even by way of a likely story! BTW Mel is also being investigated over possible criminal violations.

wondertrash on the road

BTW today’s blog has been posted from Hotel Visitel in Montreal’s Latin Quarter – next to Old Montreal and about 15 minutes from Dorval International Airport. For the reasonable price of about 60 to 80 dollars per night your comfortable room includes a double bed, cable TV, bar fridge, full bathroom with tub, and hi speed wireless Internet; plus room service and reception services are available. Oh yeah, and they have jacuzzi bathes available for a lot less than use of Mel or Oksana’s might cost.

Hotel Visitel: 1617 rue St-Hubert, Montreal, Quebec H2l 3Z1 Phone: 514 529 0990

Tell ’em wondertrash sent you!

wondertrash
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