Ellen Barkin in NYC streetfight

Barkin Mad

Ellen Barkin can be one mean bitch – at least she was in Johnny Handsome with Mickey Rourke back when they were both pretty. She may have lost her looks (probably in the divorce) but she still has her mean streak! She recently showed it while out and about on the streets of New York City.

Barkin was showing her support for the Occupy Wall Street movement (incidentally every Occupy movement in Canada has been broken up except for Occupy Newfoundland – they’ll be disbanding a half hour later!) when she felt things were getting a little out of hand. So she got a little out of hand. That lead to a case of push comes to shove with one of NYC’s finest.

Now to hear Ellen tell it they were rounding up school girls and herding them in tot he backs of paddy wagons, while tasering them mercilessly with stun guns. So Ellen quickly got in touch with her inner super hero and went Wonder Woman on them. She stepped up and asked the cop what the fuck he though he was doing. That’s when – acco0rding to her – he lost his patience with the mouthy old broad and shoved her onto the side walk. The tale of the tape seems to tell a slightly different story in which the cop merely pushes Barkin out of the way. See for yourselves. BTW Ellen’s the feisty little blonde in the black over coat.


Now it’s unclear from that who got in whom’s face – though sources say Ellen did tell the officer to fuck off. I’m sure Ellen was provoked to the use of profanity. I’m not trying to perpetuate the stereotype of actresses being histrionic and prone to wild exaggerations! She also took to celebrity venue of choice – Twitter – to vent her spleen – with more profanity – at the NYPD, and Mayor Bloomberg. Here are some of the highlights of her twitter feed –

“Just threatened on my street by NYPD, cop shoved me, both hands, onto sidewalk..Is it a crime 2 stand in the street in NY? WTF is going on here?”

“I was trying 2 make my way 2 young girl they had thrown in2 the van.She was not a protester. Was not drunk. She was walking home”

“F–k all of u, Bloomberg & every1 goosestepping behind u”

That confirms she knows how to use fuck in the correct context. Now I’m all for people exerting the democratic rights to free speech, even celebrities. I just hope that Miss Barkin has the discretion and tact to be very careful where she parks in NYC from now on. On the bright side the world has been spared the Ellen Barkin mugshot!

A quick update on the Katy Perry – Russell Brand bust up – round two has been fired with leaks from a source who may or may not be speaking for Katy. According to said source Brand is in to weirdo porn – stuff no decent person would look at, like guys in wheelchairs and possibly midgets! OK I made the part about the midgets up, but the wheelchair stuff comes by way of Celebitchy (Via Hollywood Life) quoting US Magazine – where Katy says that Brand is a sick sick man. Here are some of the highlights of that:

*Russell “duped” Katy with the prenup. Katy wanted to sell the photos from their Indian wedding, and she wanted Russell to sign a prenup, but he refused on both counts. Allegedly, Brand wanted to keep their wedding “pure” – he’s quoted as saying, “I want to make our wedding … normal, So it ain’t selling the pictures.” Meanwhile, since they filed in California, a community property state, “it could mean their assets will be divided down the middle therefore putting her $70 million fortune at stake. Their estate also includes $15 million in lavish properties all over the world.”

*Katy wasn’t “kinky” enough to satisfy Russell. A source says: “Katy was kinky enough during their first times together and he was very attracted to her. When things got bad, if they got a roll in the hay, they were always better after.” But the source also says that “despite Katy’s attempts to keep the spark alive in the bedroom by scheduling monthly date nights at swanky hotels, it was ‘never enough.’” This source, who knows intimate details about Katy and Russell’s lovemaking, also said: “He likes dirty things. He really gets off on one particular p0rn0 with a guy in a wheelchair. He’s attracted to things he can’t imagine happening to him. And he has a closet full of sex toys.”

*Russell hated being alone: “Russell always needs someone there and that’s not Katy,” the source says. “She’s busier than he is.”

*Katy’s hard partying lifestyle and friends really bothered him: “Russell can’t be in clubs because of his recovery and Katy didn’t want to give up the partying. She didn’t want to even compromise. That infuriated Russell.”

*Russell wanted to start a family: “When he asked Katy about [having kids],” the source says. “Katy would just smile and says she was too busy.”

*Russell wasn’t supportive of Katy’s career: “She had so many things going on this year and there were so many times he wasn’t there,” the source says. “He told her she wasn’t funny [when she hosted SNL] and he was totally uninterested [when he sat front row at her last concert]. He seemed annoyed he was there. I don’t think he sat through one whole song.”

So I guess we can forget about Brand and Katy always staying the very best of friends like his press release claims. Just can’t wait for their sex tape to get released (you know it’s out there!).


Matthew Fox beaten up by a chick, Shia Labouef spits on Marylin Manson!

Former LOST star is a drunken slack jawed jerk (allegedly)!

I’m not gonna say that Matthew Fox is a drunken slack jawed jerk who likes to beat up on women ’cause that would be inflammatory as well as defamatory. So let’s just say that the former LOST star got beat up by a chick recently. “How’d that happen?” you might ask. Well Matt was drunk out of his mind and wandering around in public – usually a bad idea for a celeb, or in Cleveland Ohio in this case when he got a little confused. He was leaving a bar ans trying to do the responsible thing by getting a ride home. Unfortunately the poor man didn’t seem to know what the fuck he was doing, since he tried to crawl into bus driver Heather Borman’s vehicle uninvited. Heather had the following to say to Fox & TMZ

“He just kept staring at me with his mouth wide open and not saying anything. I told him, ‘You have to leave buddy. You are trespassing on my bus,'” she said.

The actor then reportedly leaned in and began punching Bormann in the breast and crotch area. She retaliated and punched the actor in the mouth, causing “a cut on his lip,” according to the police report.

“I took one hand to his jaw and he was spitting blood. He stumbled backwards,” Bormann told TMZ.

“This was my self-defense,” she added. “This was the only way I could protect myself … from a man beating up on a woman.”

I think that I can speak for ever one when I say that any man who punches a woman deserves what ever he gets, even if he punched her in the boobs or crotch! What Fox got – in addition to the ego damage of being bitchslapped by a broad – was cuffed by a near by officer and escorted off. He was later released without formal arrest though he does have to met with some prosecutors sometime soon – like maybe Monday. Hope this doesn’t cut into the taping of his new series I, Alex Cross“. Former LOST stars need as much career support as they can get. As for you overly assertive slack jawed drunks out there – don’t dish it out of you can’t take it.


Let us spray

If you were a chick would you rather get boob punched or spit on? The answer tot hat question determines whether you’re more of a Matt Fox or a Shia Labouef date. LAbouef was out recently with his gal pal and rocker Marylin Manson when he had some kind of a fit. They were @ the Aug. 26 (BELVEDERE) RED at The Box party, when the actor had what wirtnesses are describing as a public meltdown. Labouef tool a started taking sips of his bottled water and then spitting it on both Manson and his gal pal’s legs. According to Life & StyleThen he put more water in his mouth and started spitting it all over his tablemates, including Marilyn Manson. He seemed wasted.” The sad sorry scenario gets worse –

“People started taking their seats in front of the stage at the event, but all of a sudden Shia started shouting at his date and getting visibly angry,” the eyewitness tells Life & Style. Then he headed for the door. “He lunged through the very thick seated crowd, and the crowd pleaded with him and encouraged him to sit down. They tried to hold him back — but he kept struggling through. It was so insane — he just had a total meltdown right in front of everyone,” the eyewitness tells Life & Style. “It was completely out of control. He was so angry and physical. He was determined to get out of there.”

You know you’re fucking up if Marilyn Manson comes off classy in comparison to you. Sounds like one young man’s on the fast track to Dancing With the Stars, & I mean the hard way! Or to put it another way, who’s gonna be playing Megan Fox’s boyfriend in Transformers 4?


More Celebrity Outrage Mania

It been a while since we’ve seen anything from Gerard Depardieu. Recently some jet passengers saw a lot of him. That’s cause Gerard whipped it out on board pre take off and let fly! Gerard claimed he just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Now if only he shows the same enthusiasm about the inevitable rehab drug test!

Now it would be easier to write Depardieu off as just another boorish Frenchman (I’ve just made a bunch of new friends with that statement, or mes amis as I’ll call ’em). However maybe there’s more to this than just some loutish drunk pissing on the floor. Perhaps this was some kind of outrageous performance comedy type gesture. That sort of thing does happen from time to time. AS a matter of fact let’s take a look back at a guy who specialized in just that sort of thing!

So Big G Dep might’ve been channeling the spirit of Tony Clifton! Nor is Gerard Depardieu the only one given to outrageous fits of self expression. Take Anne Hathaway for instance (and given the chance who wouldn’t?).

Anne might want to be more cautious, since performance comedy has it’s risks. Just ask Charlie Sheen who got the Tila Tequila welcome at the Insane Clown Posse meet at the recent Gathering of Jugaloos!

It’s not he first time Miss Tila has gotten that kind of welcome, but I’d just hate to see Anne Hathaway pelted with garbage, at least in a non sex fetish context!

BTW to find out how Australian celebrities helped destroy America’s long running space program head over to Area 51! There’s a lot more to it than you might think!


Roger Ebert vs Ryan Dunn

Yesterday’s post covered how Megan Fox’s big mouth deep sixed her car as a brainless sex kitten. When you’re a celebrity you have to think of your mouth as a loaded gun with a hare trigger – it could go off at the wrong time and ruin everything if you’re not careful with it. Just look at Mel Gibson! Speaking of drunk drivers that brings us to the sad case of Ryan Dunn. Dunn was the popular a star of the popular Jackass series. Ryan died the other day after a drunk driving accident. As it turned out Ryan had been in the bar drinking until about 2:00 in the morning, when he and a friend got into the car to make their way home. At 2:38 Dunn had a fatal accident. Witnesses from the bar say Dunn had at least 6 drinks over the course of the evening.

Tragedy brings out the jerk in celebs

That brings us to Roger Ebert. Ebert lately has a habit of indiscreet tweeting. He made some Mark Twain related comments, specifically about the use of some racially loaded terms in the author’s work, that raised some hackles. Ebert got a pass on that because his wife is black, much the way Ted Danson got a pass on his blackface routine back in his Friar’s Club days because he was dating Whoopee Goldberg. Ted didn’t get a complete pass cause he said some very bad shit; Whoopee defended him and then dropped him, and his motion picture career was over. Unlike Michael Richards he was still allowed to show his non blackened face in public and continued to get a measure of respect. How time’s have changed is something for Dr. Laura to sadly reflect on, and discuss with her 6000 Twitter followers (that’s a come down).

I have something to share with the world – my opinion!

Ebert’s latest unfortunate tweet involves Dunn. Though nobody asked him, Rog felt the need to share his opinion with the rest of the world. Must have something to do with being a film critic (bloggers have the same problem only moreso). Just after the news broke Ebert posted “Friends don’t let Jackasses drink and drive”. You can probably guess how that went down. Bam Magera responded “I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day and piece of sh*t roger ebert has the gall to put in his 2 cents”. Bam later added, “Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat f*cking mouth!” Rog sure is making cancer survivors look less sympathetic!

“Come on, I couldn’t have done anything worse than Tony Weiner!”

It get’s worse. Rog has a Facebook page. No celeb just as a Twitter page since you just can’t do you’re image enough damage with one outlet. You’ve got to have Facebook too. It’s kind of like shooting yourself in the foot with both barrels. Anyhow some of Dunn’s fans got quite upset about Mr Ebert’s comments, and so they complained to Facebook. Facebook to the step of deactivating Ebert’s page. Ebert didn’t take this too kindly, in fact he was more torn up about losing his page than the passing of Mr. Dunn. So Ebert once again took it upon himself to make his feeling public (he should probably stop doing that – at least for awhile). Ebert said, “Facebook has removed my page in response, apparently, to malicious complaints from one or two jerks”. Ebert added, “Facebook! My page is harmless and an asset to you. Why did you remove it in response to anonymous jerks? Makes you look bad”. It’s just peachy that he added the part about looking bad.

harmless ass refuses to be anonymous

Ebert should probably be thanking the good people at Facebook. With the way he’s been running his mouth lately he doesn’t need more medium. Basically they were exercising a discretion on his behalf that he has lately been unable to exercise for himself. Besides, he’s now dangerously close to the “3 strikes and you’re out” line. One more quip from Rog and the majority of his Twitter action might come from retweets by Dr Laura and the rest of the rogue’s gallery. Still you have to give him some credit. While he can be a jerk, he’s never been an anonymous jerk. Harmless asset might be overstating things though. I consider him more of a harmless ass. The only thumbs up this time is the one up his ass. Rog time to shut it before the gallery get’s closed indefinitely. Meanwhile the rest of us can only wonder what makes successful and supposedly intelligent people become self destructive fools the minute they get a Twitter account? There must be a little jackass in all of us – RIP Ryan Dunn!

BTW every fictitious person has a Twitter these days. Not just the professionally fictitious either, but some of the genuinely fictitious personalities!

Now here’s more in that Hollywood Mind Control series:


Update: Ebert fans, and those morbidly curious enough to wonder what he’ll say next, will be glad to hear that the complaining paid off. Ebert has his facebook page back!


Dick gets pissy

Rogue Dick

When you take to gossip blogging there are some people you can’t do with out. Like Andy Dick. On a slow news day he can be like 10 Lindsay Lohans on meth! You’ll be sitting at your word processor all dejected and at a loss about what to write when suddenly you’ll blunder across some Andy Dick story complete with outrageous conduct. Maybe he’ll have groped a show girl, or scored coke in a bar parking lot and then split it with his date/paid escort. This time Andy pee’d in public! He did a lot more than pee, actually; and set a whole new level for celebrity out rage mania.

He makes Charlie Sheen look like a droopy eyed armless child

The scene of the crime was down in Newport Beach. They have a little film festival down there. it’s the kind of thing some towns do when they want to get on the entertainment map, attracted glitterati, and turn a fast buck. It’s a good idea but they good folk of Newport Beach only made one mistake – they didn’t read Wondertrash. If they had then they’d have known about their second mistake, and that was letting Andy Dick anywhere near the premises.

a dick you can’t keep down!

Well like I say Dick did get in and when he did he made a fine spectacle of himself. Eyewitnesses and a festival co-founder saw an allegedly intoxicated Dick unzip his pants, expose himself, rub up against tables, enter a display booth, urinate on the backdrop (in the shape of a “Z” as in Zorro, I hear) and then pull it down and destroy it, reports RadarOnline, according to the Orange County Register. Sounds like the powers that be could’ve saved themselves much time and trouble if they’d just shipped Andy over to the middle east, as a kind of one man war on terror! This man dreams up mayhem like the illegitimate love child of Bruce Willis by Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Dick is cock of the walk at Newport Beach!

Naturally indecent exposure and public urination has lead to some ugly legal talk involving law suits. Not everyone has a taste for outrageous performance art ( and this guy might have Yoko Ono gasp for breath!). Seems that the Newport Beach people feel that Dick was more than a party pooper but was an expensive nuisance as well. So they want to make good on the deal by dragging him into court:

“Obviously, we need to recoup damages,” said Todd Quartararo, festival co-founder and director of marketing. “It was a brand new booth that needs to be replaced. We are exploring legal options to recoup damages.” Quartararo said Dick caused a couple thousand dollars worth of damage.

ticklish dickishness

Dick’s been on a roll lately, since his most recent incident of dickishness was down in Texas. There he got in trouble for allegedly grinding his genitals on a man’s head. Now that’s a brave thing to do in Texas!

My personal choice for 2 1/2 Men!

Now let’s take a look at a day in the life of Andy Dick! It’s a day of blurry flashbacks and thinly disguised remorse.


Andy still a dick

Even Gloria Allred wouldn’t touch this!

I’d say that Andy Dick is still fighting his demons except that these days his demons are probably ashamed to be seen with him. That doesn’t mean that Andy is ashamed to show his face out in public, and his his usual condition too; drunk and disorderly! Seems that Andy was out and about down in Temecula, CA. That’s ’cause fashionable LA establishments won’t let him on their premises. Anyway Andy was enjoying himself in a local restaurant when he got a little too high spirited. That’s a polite euphemism for got drunk out of his mind and made a fool of himself.

everyday is a reality TV episode

Now there’s no word yet on what sort of tomfoolery Andy was involved in (I’m assuming that it was more than a nipple slip), but it did result in the usual visit from the cops. Andy got charged with a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct with alcohol. Then he was escorted off the premises and to the nearest drunk tank. It must be reassuring to know that there are some establishments that still welcome him; even if it’s only into the Lindsay Lohan suite. Anyway Andy got some time to sober up and enjoy some complimentary jail house hamburgers before paying his $500 fine and being released. So he is once again free to pursue his new career as a public nuisance! Oh yeah, and he also got this nifty mugshot as a little memento!


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The chips are still down for Chris Brown

I told you not to push the wrong buttons!

Charlie Sheen isn’t the only celebrity missing a publicist. You can add Chris Brown to the list. It’s been a rough year for Brown. Things went wrong for him a couple of Academy Awards ago. He and his then gal pal Rihanna were set to perform a duet number at the event. It was gonna be a big deal for them. Then pre Oscar nerves and anger issues got the better of Brown. While he and Rihanna were motoring around LA they had a disagreement; something about strange women leaving text messages on Brown phone. Next thing you knew Rihanna was wearing the steering wheel like a head band.

Normally that thing would’ve been hushed up. That’s what publicists are for. However this time meddling members of the public got in the way. Witnesses to the altercation phoned the cops. Since Rihanna had taken the keys from the ignition and tossed them out the window – that’s when Chris lost his shit – there was no way to blow the scene. When the authorities arrived Brown had fled the scene on foot, and they found Rihanna battered and bloodied. The police then went on to take Rihanna’s statement and take a lot of crime scene photos that didn’t do brown any good in the court of public opinion.

After that Brown was in the dog house. That’s not when his PR rep quit. Brown still had a committed fan base who were leaving lots of Myspace and Facebook messages of support. So there was still the opportunity to do important work – like rebuilding his career by repairing his image. Chris would have to lay low for awhile. Then when everyone had calmed down a bit he could make some low key public apologies. The apologies are no problem. PR Reps can whip those up pretty quick, and may even have standard form letter type mea culpa on file and waiting just in case; just the way major newspapers have the obits for troubled celebs drawn up in advance and ready to role. It also helps to have an experienced person write these things up for you so that you’ll sound like you know what you did wrong.

Everything was going off according to plan. Chris was even getting ready to release some stuff and do some public appearances. A few duets with established and respectable performers were lined up. That’s so Chris could get back into the public’s good graces on the coat tails of performers that they still liked. The manipulators were using every trick in the book and it looked like the plan might pay off too. Then Chris goes and pulls one of his patented boners.

The boner in question occurred shortly after a recent GMA interview. Chris was being interviewed by Robin Roberts. Now doubt all the ground work had been done in advance. The PR team had moved in with a pre selected set of questions – nothing awkward; and instruction to kid glove the interview. Then Robin went and did something that threw everything out of whack. She brought up Rihanna. That put Chris off his game. By the time he got back to his dressing room he had a full head of steam. So full in fact that he trashed the joint like he was Charlie Sheen entertaining a hooker in a hotel room. He tried to throw a chair through a window too, for good measure. When the creative temperament goes tilt, look out!

That little stunt seemed to be the last straw. It did get Chris a lot of publicity. People started talking about him like he was the bastard child of OJ Simpson by Mel Gibson or something. Only Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin were more publicly disliked. That’s to say that though he might still have a future in politics, show business is looking bleak for him right now! Maybe he can find something on FOX News.

They say that there’s no such thing as bad press. The trouble is that this kind of press was completely opposite tot he kind of press his hard working PR team had been trying to build up for him over the past year. You know, the whole “Chris Brown is not a monster” angle. Then in one impulsive outburst he threw that hard work down the drain. Since trying to help some one who isn’t helping themselves is a waste, his rep Tammy Brook walked off the job in disgust.

So things don’t look good for Chris right now. Getting your own PR rep is a right of passage for celebrities. It mark the acceptance into the ‘community’, the way confirmation does for Christians. They’re the ones who show you the finer points of playing the game. They get rid of those personal problems the way a father confessor might help clear things up with God. So when your PR rep abandons you, it’s like being excommunicated from the entertainment business. After that it’s down hill no matter how bad you want to get back. You can still put yourself out there, but you’re strictly D List. You career prospects are restricted to pitching reality TV shows based on fucking up, and possibly dating Kat Von D.

This is the position that poor Chris currently finds himself in. So for all of you who were worried that a woman beater might worm his way back into a successful entertainment career, relax. If you ever see this guy again it’s gonna be on a double date with Michael Lohan, or on some reality TV spectacle like Dr Drew’s Rehab. Perhaps he might hook up with Octomom!

That might be possible since Chris hasn’t given up and is trying to say the right things, like “I got very emotional, and I wanna apologize for acting like that.” So maybe he could play the bi polar angle. It could even be time for a drug abuse admission. Probelm is that without a PR rep to sell that, he’s gonna have a hard time getting the media to take it seriously. He’s like a tree falling in the forrest without anyone to run around to news outlets for him explaining that the tree has a problem which requires our understanding and sympathy. Look on the bright side Chris – the National Enquirer is gonna be following you for years to come!


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