Roger Ebert vs Ryan Dunn

Yesterday’s post covered how Megan Fox’s big mouth deep sixed her car as a brainless sex kitten. When you’re a celebrity you have to think of your mouth as a loaded gun with a hare trigger – it could go off at the wrong time and ruin everything if you’re not careful with it. Just look at Mel Gibson! Speaking of drunk drivers that brings us to the sad case of Ryan Dunn. Dunn was the popular a star of the popular Jackass series. Ryan died the other day after a drunk driving accident. As it turned out Ryan had been in the bar drinking until about 2:00 in the morning, when he and a friend got into the car to make their way home. At 2:38 Dunn had a fatal accident. Witnesses from the bar say Dunn had at least 6 drinks over the course of the evening.

Tragedy brings out the jerk in celebs

That brings us to Roger Ebert. Ebert lately has a habit of indiscreet tweeting. He made some Mark Twain related comments, specifically about the use of some racially loaded terms in the author’s work, that raised some hackles. Ebert got a pass on that because his wife is black, much the way Ted Danson got a pass on his blackface routine back in his Friar’s Club days because he was dating Whoopee Goldberg. Ted didn’t get a complete pass cause he said some very bad shit; Whoopee defended him and then dropped him, and his motion picture career was over. Unlike Michael Richards he was still allowed to show his non blackened face in public and continued to get a measure of respect. How time’s have changed is something for Dr. Laura to sadly reflect on, and discuss with her 6000 Twitter followers (that’s a come down).

I have something to share with the world – my opinion!

Ebert’s latest unfortunate tweet involves Dunn. Though nobody asked him, Rog felt the need to share his opinion with the rest of the world. Must have something to do with being a film critic (bloggers have the same problem only moreso). Just after the news broke Ebert posted “Friends don’t let Jackasses drink and drive”. You can probably guess how that went down. Bam Magera responded “I just lost my best friend, I have been crying hysterical for a full day and piece of sh*t roger ebert has the gall to put in his 2 cents”. Bam later added, “Millions of people are crying right now, shut your fat f*cking mouth!” Rog sure is making cancer survivors look less sympathetic!

“Come on, I couldn’t have done anything worse than Tony Weiner!”

It get’s worse. Rog has a Facebook page. No celeb just as a Twitter page since you just can’t do you’re image enough damage with one outlet. You’ve got to have Facebook too. It’s kind of like shooting yourself in the foot with both barrels. Anyhow some of Dunn’s fans got quite upset about Mr Ebert’s comments, and so they complained to Facebook. Facebook to the step of deactivating Ebert’s page. Ebert didn’t take this too kindly, in fact he was more torn up about losing his page than the passing of Mr. Dunn. So Ebert once again took it upon himself to make his feeling public (he should probably stop doing that – at least for awhile). Ebert said, “Facebook has removed my page in response, apparently, to malicious complaints from one or two jerks”. Ebert added, “Facebook! My page is harmless and an asset to you. Why did you remove it in response to anonymous jerks? Makes you look bad”. It’s just peachy that he added the part about looking bad.

harmless ass refuses to be anonymous

Ebert should probably be thanking the good people at Facebook. With the way he’s been running his mouth lately he doesn’t need more medium. Basically they were exercising a discretion on his behalf that he has lately been unable to exercise for himself. Besides, he’s now dangerously close to the “3 strikes and you’re out” line. One more quip from Rog and the majority of his Twitter action might come from retweets by Dr Laura and the rest of the rogue’s gallery. Still you have to give him some credit. While he can be a jerk, he’s never been an anonymous jerk. Harmless asset might be overstating things though. I consider him more of a harmless ass. The only thumbs up this time is the one up his ass. Rog time to shut it before the gallery get’s closed indefinitely. Meanwhile the rest of us can only wonder what makes successful and supposedly intelligent people become self destructive fools the minute they get a Twitter account? There must be a little jackass in all of us – RIP Ryan Dunn!

BTW every fictitious person has a Twitter these days. Not just the professionally fictitious either, but some of the genuinely fictitious personalities!

Now here’s more in that Hollywood Mind Control series:

http://www.viddler.com/player/64f47f85/

Update: Ebert fans, and those morbidly curious enough to wonder what he’ll say next, will be glad to hear that the complaining paid off. Ebert has his facebook page back!

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Dick gets pissy

Rogue Dick

When you take to gossip blogging there are some people you can’t do with out. Like Andy Dick. On a slow news day he can be like 10 Lindsay Lohans on meth! You’ll be sitting at your word processor all dejected and at a loss about what to write when suddenly you’ll blunder across some Andy Dick story complete with outrageous conduct. Maybe he’ll have groped a show girl, or scored coke in a bar parking lot and then split it with his date/paid escort. This time Andy pee’d in public! He did a lot more than pee, actually; and set a whole new level for celebrity out rage mania.

He makes Charlie Sheen look like a droopy eyed armless child

The scene of the crime was down in Newport Beach. They have a little film festival down there. it’s the kind of thing some towns do when they want to get on the entertainment map, attracted glitterati, and turn a fast buck. It’s a good idea but they good folk of Newport Beach only made one mistake – they didn’t read Wondertrash. If they had then they’d have known about their second mistake, and that was letting Andy Dick anywhere near the premises.

a dick you can’t keep down!

Well like I say Dick did get in and when he did he made a fine spectacle of himself. Eyewitnesses and a festival co-founder saw an allegedly intoxicated Dick unzip his pants, expose himself, rub up against tables, enter a display booth, urinate on the backdrop (in the shape of a “Z” as in Zorro, I hear) and then pull it down and destroy it, reports RadarOnline, according to the Orange County Register. Sounds like the powers that be could’ve saved themselves much time and trouble if they’d just shipped Andy over to the middle east, as a kind of one man war on terror! This man dreams up mayhem like the illegitimate love child of Bruce Willis by Arnold Schwarzenegger!

Dick is cock of the walk at Newport Beach!

Naturally indecent exposure and public urination has lead to some ugly legal talk involving law suits. Not everyone has a taste for outrageous performance art ( and this guy might have Yoko Ono gasp for breath!). Seems that the Newport Beach people feel that Dick was more than a party pooper but was an expensive nuisance as well. So they want to make good on the deal by dragging him into court:

“Obviously, we need to recoup damages,” said Todd Quartararo, festival co-founder and director of marketing. “It was a brand new booth that needs to be replaced. We are exploring legal options to recoup damages.” Quartararo said Dick caused a couple thousand dollars worth of damage.

ticklish dickishness

Dick’s been on a roll lately, since his most recent incident of dickishness was down in Texas. There he got in trouble for allegedly grinding his genitals on a man’s head. Now that’s a brave thing to do in Texas!

My personal choice for 2 1/2 Men!

Now let’s take a look at a day in the life of Andy Dick! It’s a day of blurry flashbacks and thinly disguised remorse.

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Brat Pack

gotten rotten

If you read the last Wondertrash post you might have gotten the feeling that I’m just not trying anymore. Maybe the word ‘apathetic’ in the title was a give away. Trying leads to so much mischief in life – if our celebrities are any indication – that sometimes not trying is worth a try. The less effort the less trouble gets made. However if everyone thought like that then the history books would be empty, and school boys would have nothing to trouble them. We can’t all be buddhas, right away anyway. So in the spirit of wholesome mischief, here’s some fresh shit.

Justin TV

It seems that no one is bigger these days then Justin Bieber; not since Charlie Sheen went back on his meds and recovered from that case of Sheenius. It seems that when ever this kid breaks wind it becomes an over publicized non event of the kind that might get 24 hour on going “developing story” type coverage on CNN. So if you so sick of this kid that you want to punch out random mop topped teen on the street, then skip over this part. It’s gonna send you over.

breaking Bieber

The latest out break of Bieber fever has the Beeb on CSI. He was already killed off on Law & Order, but like Jesus the death didn’t take and so he back to haunt us. As said his latest appearance was on CSI, though it might have been easier to take if he’d appeared in a grilled cheese sandwich or bowling alley lane – Jesus style. Anyway Justy keeps his cheesy mainstream so he got on CSI where he met Marge Helgenberger.

Justy & Busty

Now this musty been a big deal in the life of a growing boy. Margy, you’ll recall, is the gal who acts in CSI and whose boobs are prominently feature, often hoist up into a firing position. So Justy must’ve been keen to make a real good impression on her. Maybe that’s why Margy says that he seemed like a real nice guy when she met him. Her exact words, as quoted by Radaronline, were “He was nice to me.” See, I said he was nice!

Everyone can’t have big boobs, so Justy can’t be nice to everyone

Thing was that it didn’t stop there. Seems that Justy wasn’t quite so nice with his other, non mammary endowed castmates. In fact Boobs, I mean Margy, goes on to say that, and once again I quote by way of Radaronline, that “I shouldn’t be saying this but he was kind of a brat.” Actually that part got said on a French radio interview, but Radaronline got wind of it and repeated it! Busty goes on to say that “He was nice to me but he locked one of the producers in a closet and he put his fist through a cake that was one the cast’s table!

the moral of the story

So what can we draw from this? Well for one thing Justy is a real swell guy, if you happen to be a hot chick with great big boobs that stick up at a 45 degree angle. Other wise watch you’re step, cause he can be a rotten little jerk. Also we’ve learned that you have to watch what you say, cause what you say can get around. Even if it’s said over seas and in a foreign language. If it’s about Bieber then the world is gonna know about it and more sooner than later. That probably has something to do with the Internet! Finally we’ve learned that the mass media hasn’t gotten tired of talking about Bieber yet, not matter how sick of him everyone else is. That probably has something to do with his appeal to teenage girls and middle aged “Herbert the Pervert” types. So we’re probably gonna keep hearing too much about him in the future, even if you dearly wish that he and Miley Ray Cyrus would run away together and never be seen or heard from again.

Now something in the spirit of big boobs sticking up on a 45 degree angle!


dirty ditties – every doggerel has it’s day

Some people wonder what’s gotten into celebrities today. I think that it’s the age we live in. The whole sad sorry mess can probably summed up in the following little ditty!

So you real can’t blame the Biebs for being as rotten little jerk when thing are rotten, like the song says! Even a Robin Hood might fall victim to his own vanity.

So when other legends are forgotten, just remember back when things were rotten. It’s a Wondertrash thing!

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The chips are still down for Chris Brown

I told you not to push the wrong buttons!


Charlie Sheen isn’t the only celebrity missing a publicist. You can add Chris Brown to the list. It’s been a rough year for Brown. Things went wrong for him a couple of Academy Awards ago. He and his then gal pal Rihanna were set to perform a duet number at the event. It was gonna be a big deal for them. Then pre Oscar nerves and anger issues got the better of Brown. While he and Rihanna were motoring around LA they had a disagreement; something about strange women leaving text messages on Brown phone. Next thing you knew Rihanna was wearing the steering wheel like a head band.

Normally that thing would’ve been hushed up. That’s what publicists are for. However this time meddling members of the public got in the way. Witnesses to the altercation phoned the cops. Since Rihanna had taken the keys from the ignition and tossed them out the window – that’s when Chris lost his shit – there was no way to blow the scene. When the authorities arrived Brown had fled the scene on foot, and they found Rihanna battered and bloodied. The police then went on to take Rihanna’s statement and take a lot of crime scene photos that didn’t do brown any good in the court of public opinion.

After that Brown was in the dog house. That’s not when his PR rep quit. Brown still had a committed fan base who were leaving lots of Myspace and Facebook messages of support. So there was still the opportunity to do important work – like rebuilding his career by repairing his image. Chris would have to lay low for awhile. Then when everyone had calmed down a bit he could make some low key public apologies. The apologies are no problem. PR Reps can whip those up pretty quick, and may even have standard form letter type mea culpa on file and waiting just in case; just the way major newspapers have the obits for troubled celebs drawn up in advance and ready to role. It also helps to have an experienced person write these things up for you so that you’ll sound like you know what you did wrong.

Everything was going off according to plan. Chris was even getting ready to release some stuff and do some public appearances. A few duets with established and respectable performers were lined up. That’s so Chris could get back into the public’s good graces on the coat tails of performers that they still liked. The manipulators were using every trick in the book and it looked like the plan might pay off too. Then Chris goes and pulls one of his patented boners.

The boner in question occurred shortly after a recent GMA interview. Chris was being interviewed by Robin Roberts. Now doubt all the ground work had been done in advance. The PR team had moved in with a pre selected set of questions – nothing awkward; and instruction to kid glove the interview. Then Robin went and did something that threw everything out of whack. She brought up Rihanna. That put Chris off his game. By the time he got back to his dressing room he had a full head of steam. So full in fact that he trashed the joint like he was Charlie Sheen entertaining a hooker in a hotel room. He tried to throw a chair through a window too, for good measure. When the creative temperament goes tilt, look out!

That little stunt seemed to be the last straw. It did get Chris a lot of publicity. People started talking about him like he was the bastard child of OJ Simpson by Mel Gibson or something. Only Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin were more publicly disliked. That’s to say that though he might still have a future in politics, show business is looking bleak for him right now! Maybe he can find something on FOX News.

They say that there’s no such thing as bad press. The trouble is that this kind of press was completely opposite tot he kind of press his hard working PR team had been trying to build up for him over the past year. You know, the whole “Chris Brown is not a monster” angle. Then in one impulsive outburst he threw that hard work down the drain. Since trying to help some one who isn’t helping themselves is a waste, his rep Tammy Brook walked off the job in disgust.

So things don’t look good for Chris right now. Getting your own PR rep is a right of passage for celebrities. It mark the acceptance into the ‘community’, the way confirmation does for Christians. They’re the ones who show you the finer points of playing the game. They get rid of those personal problems the way a father confessor might help clear things up with God. So when your PR rep abandons you, it’s like being excommunicated from the entertainment business. After that it’s down hill no matter how bad you want to get back. You can still put yourself out there, but you’re strictly D List. You career prospects are restricted to pitching reality TV shows based on fucking up, and possibly dating Kat Von D.

This is the position that poor Chris currently finds himself in. So for all of you who were worried that a woman beater might worm his way back into a successful entertainment career, relax. If you ever see this guy again it’s gonna be on a double date with Michael Lohan, or on some reality TV spectacle like Dr Drew’s Rehab. Perhaps he might hook up with Octomom!

That might be possible since Chris hasn’t given up and is trying to say the right things, like “I got very emotional, and I wanna apologize for acting like that.” So maybe he could play the bi polar angle. It could even be time for a drug abuse admission. Probelm is that without a PR rep to sell that, he’s gonna have a hard time getting the media to take it seriously. He’s like a tree falling in the forrest without anyone to run around to news outlets for him explaining that the tree has a problem which requires our understanding and sympathy. Look on the bright side Chris – the National Enquirer is gonna be following you for years to come!

http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed_edition&videoId=showbiz/2011/03/25/sbt.chris.brown.dwts.controversy.cnn

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Zsa Zsa Gabor wants to move up in class

For those unfamiliar with Zsa Zsa Gabor – except as a comedic characterture of an aging Hollywood actress, she was the Kim Kardashian of her day (She and her two sisters originated the Kardashian act). That means she was a characterture of a Hollywood sex symbol. That’s kind of like being a female impersonator except you’re a woman – anyone remember Victor/Victoria? To that end Zsa Zsa made a bunch of B movies that no one remembers, married and divorced alot of husbands – she was kind of in the alimony business, and guest starred on The Beverly Hillbillies a few times. So you can say that she’s a sort of pop cultural icon. Like Susan Somer’s Thigh Master commercials! About the only thing she didn’t get around to was getting shot in the gob by Phil Spector!

Bed room farce antics aside, Zsa Zsa did live a rich and interesting life. She married Anna Nicole Smith’s lover, and almost became Smith’s adoptive mother. That was when Anna Nic tried to convince her lover, who is Zsa Zsa’s husband – Prince von Arnolt, to legally adopt her. That way she could officially become a princess! Sounds flaky buts that how Arnolt inherited his princely title, and probably how the woman he screwed out of the title got it herself!

Even though this is a very European arrangement – in this case “European” differentiates from American in that there is no pretense to any kind of morality or decorum. It’s a “we’re consenting adults and know how the world works *wink wink*” deal – Zsa Zsa wasn’t having any part of it. So she out the kibosh on the deal and Anna Nicole had to settle for a Texas oil billionaire, whom she quickly married and promptly buried.

Did I say bed room farce antics aside? Zsa Zsa did do something genuinely interesting. She slapped a LA traffic cop. The guy pulled Gabor over after he saw her car slowly serving all over the road. Seeing an elderly actress behind the wheel he must’ve assumed that she was having a botox induced stroke, or perhaps was buzzed out on a cocktail of powerful sedatives legally obtained from her many physicians. So he asked her if she needed assistance.

Zsa Zsa, who was allegedly drunk at the time, staggered forth from the vehicle and informed the good officer in a heavily slurred accent that she was a famous actress who’s husband is a Prince, and that she has many powerful friends who could break the fellow like a match stick, so ‘jump back Jack‘ Then she landed him a smack across the chops to make sure he got the point. When I say smack I mean that she hit him, not kissed him. A kiss from that grizzled old beak would’ve been so traumatic that the fellow would’ve had grounds for a law suit.

Now when your main claims to fame are based on a clownish B movie image and a bunch of ridiculous incidents, then you might have a real burning need to be taken more seriously. God knows Zsa Zsa will never be Helen Mirren, not now at her age; but I’m sure that she hasn’t given up hope – God bless her soul. After all Helen Mirren wasn’t really Helen Mirren until she got up in years. In her prime she did the roles Joan Collins turned down – & Joansie didn’t turn down much of anything! The point is that a little respect would be nice, even if completely undeserved.

The recent passing of Jayne Russell and Elizabeth Taylor seem to have brought this point home to ailing Zsa Zsa. It seems that she’s got it in her mind that celebs always go in 3’s (they do: one dies naturally and the other 2 follow along for the attention!). Further more she’s convinced that if she can make number three, then that will prove to the world that she just wasn’t come over stuffed clown with an accent, but an actress of the highest caliber! With that in mind she has insisted on being rushed to the hospital!

Now the official story is that Zsa Zsa was at home fidgeting restlessly in front of the TV when she got the sad news about Taylor. Then, according to her publicist – who may have been standing near by with pen and pad in hand to record Gabor’s words for posterity – Zsa yelps out “Oh, Jane Russell and Liz Taylor — I’m next.” The publicist – John Blanchette doesn’t go on to say whether or not anyone burst out in laughter.

Zsa Zsa took the whole deal very seriously though. She insisted on having her blood pressure taken. According to Blanchette it was “soaring“. Not that you can make anything out of that since Gabor is high pressure at the best of times. Anyway it was enough to get her carted off to the hospital and put on unofficial death watch. As for the prognosis, Blanchette goes on to say that Gabor is a fighter, as one LAPD officer can attest to. Now I’m not sure how to take that remark. With Gabor that just might mean this is one casting call she’s determined to make, even though it’s only for the final curtain. That’s fame for you – eventually it’s being the stiff at your own funeral, and looking as life like as you ever did! Good luck Zsa Zsa!

By the way Zsa Zsa isn’t the only one trying to horn in on the action. Westboro Baptist Church has announced plans to protest at Taylor’s funeral. They take issue with Taylor’s long time AIDS activism, which they call “enabling gays“. So that makes them almost as flaky as Victoria Jackson! Plus they’re looking to score some major publicity! No official word on the rumors that they’re currently shopping around a reality TV premise based on their colorful “ministry“.

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Michael Lohan Arrested for Felony Domestic Violence

Michael Lohan: Fame is an octagon

It’s seems like trouble is the Lohan family business. On that score Lindsay seems to be the main bread winner with her frequent legal run ins and rehab stints. Papa Mikey is no slouch when it comes to rowdy hell raising himself. Mike has this problem which is that he occasionally likes to go ape shit on what ever woman is brain damaged enough to be dating him at the time. Like Kate Major. Kate was some kind of reporter or something with Star Magazine who got hooked up with and then dumped by Jon Gosselin. She rebounded on to Mike Lohan. I’d call that a case of sloppy seconds except that Major hasn’t qualified as ‘seconds‘ for many many helpings. She’s more like that thing festering in tinfoil at the back of the refrigerator.

Anyhow they were getting along famously and Kate was saying Lohan was the great love of her life, just the way she was saying Jon Gosselin was the great love of her life. It’s a lady’s perogative to change her mind – so Kate might as well try it too. Things were going along hunky dory until some one got drunk, we’re not sure who but it could have been both of them, and then the shit hit the fan. The story that trickled down to the public via twitter, the internet, and supermarket tabs, was that Mikey got home all liquored up and found Kate drunk and out cold in an arm chair. one thing lead to another as such situations often do and soon Kate was sprawled on the floor and the cops were on the way. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time for Mikey since he only had 2 weeks left on his probation for some previous domestic assault type incident.

Some guys never win. In Mikey’s case it’s more like some guys never learn. That’s because it appears lover boy has pulled another one of his patented shit for brains stunts. The details are so far sketchy, but it goes something like this:

“Mr. Lohan was arrested after we received a call around 9 p.m. regarding a domestic dispute. He was detained after he was spotted walking on the street near our station. He showed no signs of intoxication that I’m aware of and has been cooperative.”

At least that’s the version Lt. John Ratto gave People Magazine. Maybe Lt Latto is some kind of celebrity liaison officer. The slightly more detailed version as Lohan assaulting an unnamed victim. Lohan thens tarted complaining about an “unrelated medical condition” – I’m guessing chest pains. So he was rushed over to Cedars Sinai Hospital. He’s currently laying low there while he contemplates his next move.

That next move better involve a way to raise a hughnomous wad of cash, ’cause this time the police are holding him on 200 000 bail. It’s gonna be tough for Mikey to pull in those kind of funds since Lindsay is the oly one in the family with any kind of income. Her income is currently tied up in rehab bills and lawyers fees, stemming from her own particular brand of mayhem.

So look on the bright side – Japan may be about to go nuclear, the mid east may be dissolving in turmoil, Charlie Sheen is threatening to unleash violent torpedoes of truth on the nation in the form of a cross country stand up tour, and Donald Trump may be poised to run for office on a Sarah Palin presidential ticket; but at least Michael Lohan is off the streets and in some kind of supervised environment for an indefinite period of time. Every once in a blue moon the system works! There could even be an up side to this. Mikey might eventually earn his own living by pitching a reality TV concept where he fights other D List celebs! They could call the show Michael Lohan’s Starwhackers! It’d beat American Idol to hell!

Firecrotch Redhanded

As for the second most troubled member of the Lohan clan, Lindsay is set to pull a Mel & plead no contest to her jewelry stealing charges. Her mother Dina emphasizes that o contest is not the same as guilty – it’s completely different in the way that not guilty doesn’t mean innocent. She then goes on to call LA a fucked up town – that’s not news but saying it won’t make her any friends, and talk about some imaginary film projects she’s considering for her daughter.

Personally I’d recommend a few whacked out calls to Alex Jones (make sure to frequently mention starwhackers) followed by a Lindsay Lohan nation wide stand up tour. They could call it “Sticky Fingers“, or if the Rolling Stones get pissed over that then maybe “Firecrotch Red Handed“. Read about that over @ Zimbio!

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Rush Fools In Where Angels Fear to Tread

What’s the difference between Gilbert Gottleib and Rush Limbaugh – Gottlieb doesn’t pretend to be a serious political commentator!

What can you say about a big fat pill head who shoots of his mouth public? Now I’m not referring to Alex Jones. Jones is cogent & thoughtful compared to this professional blowhard. The blowhard is Rush Limbaugh and regular listeners probably noticed that this dude’s mouth lost contact with his brain – which itself lost contact with reality so that’s a fine state of affairs – some time back – and started freewheeling. In fact it’s been freewheeling further and further off the beaten path & on on to the lunatic fringe.

Rush offer’s political commentary the way a backed up septic tank offers raw sewage

Now a lot of shit has come out of Limbaugh’s big gaping maw over the course of his bombastic and otherwise banal talk radio career, but the loud mouthed snook has recently out done himself. You might not believe what those loose lips recently let slip. Now for those unfamiliar with Limbaugh’s routine, he’s the guy who takes political commentary down to a carnival barker level. His usual spiel borders on the kill abortionist to respect he sanctity of life routine, or bring democracy to the rest of the world by bombing it flat. He supports mandatory gun owner ship for all America’s – especially deranged kooks who might take a shot at the president (Lush Dumbaugh might call that Tea Party Patriotism others might wonder whether years of pharmaceutical pill abuse have caused some serious brain damage), just in case the Russkies mount some kind of commie counter attack. I’m not sure how he stands on making use of the poor and down trodden in some Solyent Green type plan – but I hear he was a great fan of Swift’s Modest Proposal until some one explained to him that it was a satire. “You mean it’s a fairy story? Just like the Bible? Bah hum bug!” In other words he’s a pair of tinfoil under shorts away from being Glenn Beck.

… amd you thought Charlie Sheen was nuts!

Now when you got a big loose cannon of a mouth then you usually say some pretty outrageous things just as a matter of course. Stuff like “Eat the poor” and “bomb everything“, In other words he’s like Glenn Beck after a stroke. So when you shoot off on a level that makes Charlie Warlock Sheen sound calm, considered and rational, you got some real personal standard of psychosis to maintain. The one thing that you can say about the Rusher is that he’s got a real and undeniable talent for topping himself. To bad he doesn’t have more of a talent for stopping himself.

don’t tempt Mother Nature by driving a Prius

Top himself is what the big fat wind bag recently did on the subject of Japan. Now while the est of North America tormented them selves wit guilt about not doing more to help those poor wretches living over there in the disaster zone; homeless, with limited food and medicine, and often not enough room at the shelters; Rush as a different take on the situation. According to Rush Japan has no one else to blame for their current misfortune because Mother Gaia has malicious laid them low as her way for showing her appreciation for the Prius.

the electrical car will draw down the wrath of God

According to Lush Rimbaugh Japan went wrong went they got all ecological. They started flooding the America car market with all these eco responsible cars with the dinky lawn mower engines on an eco angle – instead of flooding he market with these huge tyrannosaurus rex gas guzzling hummers – Rush figures that this was some transparent attempt to suck up to Mother Earth – and being a woman, you can’t expect anything in the way of gratitude. You can only expect to be trampled under foot. So if you’re not willing to show Big Bitch who’s the boss you gotta expect to be trampled under earth after the Great Devouring Mother has gnawed the meat off your bones and finished sucking the marrow from your bones. So playing along ain’t gonna get you anywhere.

Ruch Limbaugh – an pill induced level of brain damage that makes Ann Coulter look like William F Buckley jr!

Lest Rush get upset and claim to have been misquoted by some Internet blogger, here’s the gist of what he did say on his Tuesday show. While discusing the whole subject of the Japan earthquake, The Rusher said – on the air – that:

“If these are the people that invented the Prius, have mastered public transportation, recycling, why did Mother Earth, Gaia if you will, hit them with this disaster?” “They’ve given us the Prius. Even now, refugees are recycling their garbage.” Here, he began to laugh, continuing, “and yet, Gaia levels them! Just wipes them out!”

“He’s right,” Limbaugh said. “They’ve given us the Prius. Even now, refugees are recycling their garbage.” Here, he began to laugh, continuing, “and yet, Gaia levels them! Just wipes them out!”

suck my goof balls

Now Rusher doesn’t exactly sound like like Mother Theresa. In fact he sounds like he’s back on those goof balls that every Republican condemns and every other republic secretly takes – like Rush himself. Though it must be said that an undisclosed number of those God fearing neocons (is the proper term “Neocon” or “Necrophile”? – I keep getting them confused) do that shit so that the they can score gay sex in public restrooms while adopting the wide stance in the hopes of some toe tapping fun with anonymous strangers! Keeping in touch with the public is what’s helped keep them relevant!

https://i1.wp.com/www.sodblog.com/wp-content/uploads/rushdance1.gif

Gilbert the Gremlin

What the Rusher does sound like is one of those tactless stand up comedians like Gilbert Gottlieb who though that about 13 000 dead Japanese was fodder for crude humour. In fact Gilbert Goblips got taken to task over this shoot from the lip comedy. He lost his lucrative Afleck Duck gig. Since that was bout the only work he currently had, he’s know cooling his heels in the dog house without so much of a bone to gnaw on.

Will Lush Dumbaugh become the next Alex Jones? It’s a dicey business when you can’t control your big shit spewing mouth!

So if Gottlieb can get publicly reamed out for his tactless lack of basic humanity, can we we except a big fat pill addled loud mouth snook – who has basically blamed the Japanese for their own misfortunes – to make his way back to public creditability? Maybe after a brief rehab hiatus, some crocodiles tears, and a lot of transparent excuses? Since the Gottlieb precedent has already been set it might be time for Lush Rimbaugh to take a brief vacation from the talk radio circuit – just the way Dr Laura Schlesinger did after she had that unfortunate attack of Tourette’s Syndrome on the air (Laura S is currently discussing with her publicist the possibility of being bi polar – at least professionally – of course Flip Wilson describes that as “the devil made me do it“). If he can blame the whole incident on a pill addiction relapse, than he might be able to worm his way into Dr Drew’s Celebrity Rehab, an even eventually redemption.

Rush & Gottlieb – watch you step or your feet could wind up in your feet in your mouths again; not that there ain’t plenty of room in there for ’em

A lot of mea culpe’s and some crocodile tears and even that shit cannon of a mouth of his might one day be ready for a return to the airwaves, If he can play the bi polar angle, even he might even be able to work his way back into a broadcasting career via the reality TV rehab route. Word of advice to the Rusher though – in the unlikely event you ever find you self on radio in any capacity other than as Alex Jone’s comic foil side kick, you might want to get your brain in motion before that mouth of yours gets into gear. Your next attack of verbal diarrhea under the guise of no spin straight shootin’ commentary might be our very last, After that you won’t even find cartoon voice over work. Besides there are some eager cooperate spoketoones looking for work and eager to take you jobs!

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