Wonder Woman vs the Terminator – Hasta La Vista, Baby!

Wonder Woman vs Predator!

Tis the season for dirty laundry. If you’re into that sort of thing you could take your pick nowadays. take Arnold Schwarzenegger for instance. Arnie was the body builder who shot to fame with a combo for steroids and snappy one liners! By the time he was filming predator he was serious enough about Kennedy Kid Maria Schriver to take time out from shooting to jet off to Hyannis Port for some chowder and a wedding!

Skip forward a decade or so, past some cheesy action flicks, some good attempts at comedy, and a run for governor and many Kennedy family barbecues, to the present situation. The present situation is that the Sperminator is deep in shit. Seems that while the Gov was grinning for the cameras with Maria at his side, and getting solar panels installed on the gov’s mansion to show that he was a conservative with his heart in the right place; he was also banging away at the hired help. The gov had a side piece in the form of “staff with benefits” That lead to a child that came along about the same time as one of his kid’s with Maria. When Arnie and American Maid weren’t busy soiling the sheets in the gov’s mansion, sidepiece was busy trying on Maria’s cloths and jewelry. I could bore you with details except you wouldn’t be bored, and a pro can do it better! So here’s the pro!

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Wow, I mean wow. Over 50 years since World War 2 and Germans are still evil! Of course Arnie is an Austrian. To be clear an Austrian is a German with enough PR savvy to deny being German in public. The Pope doesn’t deny being German but he’s got so many other PR problems that there’d hardly be any point.

Back to Evil Arnie! Now that you’ve got all the dirty details you probably want to know what else is new. Maria is seeing a lawyer. Also should push come to shove she stands to get a real windfall. As much as 50 mill according to some sources. Though she is a Kennedy that doesn’t make her as rich as you think. That loot got split up in trust amongst numerous grand kids (John John was well heeled at the time of his untimely death. He was reputedly worth 250 mill at the time. It should be said that much of that was from Jackie and made post JFK, through Onassis and her various projects.). Arnie on the other hand has money to burn, what with his long career of cranking out the bash ’em up flicks.

So it’s not surprising that Arnie ain’t to thrilled with this whole divorce deal. According to Popeater he’s “willing to beg” to get his wife back. According to Poopeater Arnie has said through some professional mouth piece that:

“He knows that he has made mistakes, terrible mistakes in his past but isn’t prepared to lose the greatest woman in his life. This has nothing to do with money or the children. He misses her terribly and will do whatever it takes to win her back. Even begging.”

I like the ‘this isn’t about the money, or the kids’ comment. Mentioning money and tacking on the kids as an after thought just makes it so much more convincing. He didn’t have to mention his political career since that’s over and done with, even if they do change the constitution to let Evil Germans run for pres. So the moral of the story is that there’s a time and place for everything, and even if you’re a big shot action hero it might be a good idea to learn the art of gun control – now an issue Arnie will never have to grapple with politically.


Oksana Grigorieva makes nice


Oksana Grigorieva was a troublesome woman who caused all sorts of unnecessary anguish. Then she met Mel Gibson! Not that her life began with Gibson. She’d been around, and for a while. She’d been some sort of musician, though people who know her laugh at the claim to anything serious. She’d gotten knocked up by Timothy “The Spy Who Shagged Me” Dalton. She had a kid by him, named Alexander, and that kept her in walking around money for a few years. It didn’t do much for Dalton since his career went into a death spiral after getting his dose of Grigorieva. There are somethings that even James Bond can’t survive. Still it might be unfair to give Oksie too mucgh credit. Dalton’s career was also undermined by his habit of walking around hot Hollywood eateries with his fly down and no underwear on!

she’s silly putty purty!

Anyhow Momma’s Little Dividend kept Oksie livin’ the lifestyles of the rich and famous Hollywood style for a few years. That was convenient since she wasn’t getting any younger and had to pay for the up keep on her face, which was how she made her living. So that left her living it up, getting silly putty injected into her head, and sizing up her next victim! For awhile that looked like record producer David Foster. She was staying in his guest house and putting a lot of pressure on the poor man’s marriage when some one better came along in the form of Mel Gibson. So she latched onto him, but not before trashing Foster’s marriage.

the poor man’s rich girl, or vice versa

Part of what ruined Foster’s marriage was that Oksany was knocked up in the family way with a child that might or might not have been Super Dave’s. That takes infidelity beyond the level of keeping some stray Russian tramp in the pool house (which would be much more fun if the Russian in question was Milla Jovovich, and not some down market blow jobber who looks like she pay off her lips on the installment plan). Mrs Foster need not have jumped the gun since Oksany was busy reconsidered her child’s paternity! She decided that the father might actually be Mel, and not the guy she’d been slutting it up win the pool house with for awhile. That might sound revisionist, but Oksany is a big believer in convenience – her own if not any one else’s.

from Russia with love & C.O.D.!

So that lead to the explosion of Mel’s marriage. Illegitimate kids by Russian sluts will do that. Mel insisted that he left his wife because they lacked common spiritual ground – and finding common ground with Mello these days might require a tinfoil hat – but since she was the one who filed you can use your imaginations. That left poor Mel showing off his new *ahem* prize in public, and in a serious of embarrassing music videos. Maybe they were mucus videos – who knows.

love or a cold war

The relationship seemed happy, if embarrassing, for awhile. Yet the course of true love never runs smooth. That’s to say nothing about whatever Mel and Oksany shared. So soon enough things took one of those strange turns that characterize Mel’s life lately. Some how the love birds turned on each other. Mel made a lot of bad remarks about Oksany publicly – like she was a drunken smutty pig. Or he would have if he hadn’t thought that might be an insult to drunken smutty pigs.

love is never having to speak up for the tape recorder

He said a lot of other stuff too, and didn’t mind who felt insulted by that. We know because Oksany had taken to taping their heated phone conversations. Perhaps it was out of sentiment, and a desire to preserve the memory of what they had after Braveheart had moved on. You know how soft heart money grubbing whores can be. She wasn’t shy about sharing Mel’s special feelings with the world either – & the tapes found their way onto TMZ, or Radaronline, on one of these trash sites (heh heh). When you a woman who’s well and truly loved then you just want the whole world to know about it and envy you, so who can blame her!

hand puppet theater – sock it to me!

Now that didn’t do Mel’s career any good, not that there was anything left of it to worry about; beside that sock puppet film he had cooked up with Jodie Foster (who may or may not be related to David Foster, depending on how paranoid you are about nepotism in Hollywood). Since Mel was kind of hanging on by a shred of a thread he kind of took it personally. So the gloves were off and the lawyers were in on the act. Tempers boiled and rhetoric became inflammatory, while onlookers feared that the situation might go OJ if participants didn’t watch their step, or if Mello got too liquored up and had a bad day. He did make those rose garden comments!

things come fool circle

Just when it seemed that the shit would hit the fan things calmed down. Part of this was because Oksany had to take it instead of just dishing it. Mel got some friends in the Malibu Police Dept – he’s still got a few – to look into extortion charges and possible deportation. Exile from the land of opportunity seemed to put the fear of God into her godless commie soul. Plus she’d become part of the story and the paparazzi were hounding her in public. She was easier to get to than Mel, but her shit backfiring on her wasn’t anything she’d planned on, and seemed to take some of the fun out of it for her. Meanwhile Mel had gone back to his wife Robin, and that seemed to be a stabilizing influence on him. So the only thing left was for the dust to settle.

The Tabloid Narc

That seemed to have happened. Some time last week the Enquirer, unless it was the Examiner, The Globe, or some other shit mag, reported that Mel and Oksany had been spotted out in public together walking calmly and talking softly without any broken teeth or enraged screaming. Perhaps the absence of a tape recorder helped to keep thing on the level. Anyway the tabloid narc, who knew Mel in some capacity, said that he looked at him with a ‘what the fuck’ expression on his face. Mel just nodded and looked back, unless he looked back first and then nodded. There may or may not have been a wink involved.

Mel less psychotic than usual

So while anyone who was still interested was busy asking “what the fuck is going on with Gibson” it comes out that Oksany has just dropped her domestic assault charges. Those charges stemmed from the tape recording period. Oksany claimed that an enraged and psychotic Mel had fucked up her face while out of his mind. She mentioned that again and again during the recordings. Most figured that it was a life time of bad plastic surgery that left her worse for wear, but that was a matter for the courts to decide.Or it was before Oksany dropped the charges.

hit me baby one more time

Now Oksany had been all worked up what with being abused and all. Apparently getting smacked in the gov, allegedly, by Gibson was some great matter of principle that everyone was required to support her on by backing her to the hilt like she was Rihanna or something. Once she actually sat down and thought about it, though, she seemed to feel more like Tila Tequila, as in “Let’s put the whole Merriman mess behind us so I can get on with my career“. Oksany doesn’t pout it so cynically. She spins it a little more sympathetically, which is what you do if you want people to support you, or at least not try and take your head off for continuing to waste their time.

round 2?

Oksany version, which she gave to E via her lawyer through a “source” claims that Mrs. G dropped her case because she wanted to be free to contact Gibson in relation to their daughter Lucia. So she’s basically putting the well being of her daughter first, and wasn’t using the charges as leverage in a low down and dirty custody battle. That means the man that she swore on a stack was a danger to life and limb is now free to once again be an active participant in the life of both her and her daughter. So this is the part where something in her story just doesn’t add up, like “were you shitting us then, or are you shitting us now?” Maybe she was shitting us all along. Maybe, like Jodie Foster and the movie going public, she’s decided that Mel ain’t so bad, only a bit misunderstood stood. It’s a lady’s prerogative to change her mind, but honesty ain’t required.

Wonder Woman sez – “Don’t be a victim!”

Lunapic Photo Editing


Hollywood Heartbreak Hotel

sex couple splits

https://i2.wp.com/www.wildsound-filmmaking-feedback-events.com/images/scarlett_johansson_iron_man_2.jpgEither there is a strange alignment of planets or some one’s text message got loose because there’s a slew of high profile celebrity bust ups. First off Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds. They got married about a couple of years back. They hooked up back in the heady days of Obamamania. That was an optimistic time and people may have been more inclined to take chances. Well Obamamania is over and so are the Reynolds-Johanssons.

The couple have issued the standard press release in which they wish each other well, claim that they are still friends, and refuse to blame each other for the bust up. Now the split must’ve been a bad one if they feel the need to put a good face on it like that. Some gossip sites are claiming that they’ve been busted up for the past 6 months. Maybe Ryan decided to enjoy his Sexiest Man Alive status.

Insiders say that it was Scarlett who initiated the split. Apparently she’s been unhappy in the relationship for awhile (it couldn’t have been that long because the marriage hasn’t lasted that long). AS for Ryan, he’s seeking comfort with his ex. Ryan’s people are quick to emphasis that comfort doesn’t mean in a sexual way. There’s still a divorce proceeding going on and who would want it to shift from irreconcilable difference to alienation of affection or even adultery.

Hurley loses another one

https://i1.wp.com/images.starpulse.com/Photos/Previews/Liz-Hurley-n02.jpgRyan and Scary ain’t the only pair of love birds to fly into that great high rise window known as divorce. Elizabeth Hurley has filed for divorce from her significant other Arun Nayar. Hurley has had a colorful past, maybe even more so than her former main man Hugh Grant. Back in the days when they were still together Liz cheated on Hugh with her Passenger 57 co star Tom Sizemore.

Sizemore was a talented actor but is better known today as a drug addict, occasional Celebrity Rehab guest, and frequent mention in gossip and crime columns. Sizemore is heavy drug user and looks skeevy, so who knows what kind of diseases she risked by hooking up with him. AS for Sizemore, he admits he did Hurley, but only as a way of putting Grant in his place. He said in an interview that while he was doing Hurley he kept picturing Grant’s “smug handsome face“. Now he’s probably not the first guy to picture some one else while plugging Hurley’s bung hole, but that borders on latent homosexuality.

So they went their separate ways: Grant to a $40 dollar blow job and mug shot, Hurley to Arun. She came to that marriage with a rep, and bill of health, only slightly better than Paris Hilton. Arun’s family is very well off so naturally they were less than thrilled about Hurley as an addition to the family. Arun’s mom took the news almost as badly as Danny Moder’s mom when she learned that her son was doing Julia Roberts. Arun’s father disowned him. Since Arun worked in the family business and lived on the family estate, this cramped his style. There’s a good woman behind every successful man!

https://i2.wp.com/static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/pictures/2010/11/7/1289145506341/Shane-Warne-006.jpg Well that thing has run it’s course with the announcement that the Hurley-Nayar marriage has gone tits up. It had a good reason for going tits up too – Hurley is allegedly cheating with Aussie cricketer Shane Warne. For those unfamiliar with Warne he looks like a big meatball with spiky blond hair and an orange rub on tan. Think of him as a grown up Bart Simpson on steroids! So it’s lucky for Hurley that she managed to bag him before Katie Jordan Price snapped him up. Liz has her hooks firmly in though – it’s been reported that the odd couple spent the night together in London’s Bently Hotel! The good news is that Nayar can now move out of the dog house and back into the family home!

Wonder Woman dumped?

That brings us to Megan Gale and Andy Lee. They’re kind of a big deal Downunder. Megan was almost a big deal all over, since she was cast to play Wonder Woman in a now defunct film project that also was to feature Common as Green Lantern. Apart from that she was best known as a runway model and David Jones spokesperson, until Miranda Kerr got her job. Not that Miranda edged her out. Megan quit convinced that Wonder Woman was gonna be her ticket to movie stardom. Everyone assured her that the project was a go and Megan being unfamiliar with movie people believed them. That was very naive of her. It alos left her at loose ends.

Without much in the way of a career Gale started her own fashion line – Isola. She also got sued over the name since it was similar to another fashion design firm. When she wasn’t designing bikini’s she was a regular guest host on her boyfriend’s popular radio show Hamish & Andy Lee. So you could say that she was in a slump.

It gets worse. Megan is currently about 33. That’s not only past your best before date as a fashion model (but don’t get me wrong because Gale is till unbelievably gorgeous), but it’s running into overtime with your biological clock. Gale made some noise about reproducing, but Andy made more noises about being happy with the current arrangement. So Andy kept grinning as Gale’s facial features kept contracting into a tight little knot at the center of her face. Eventually the inevitable happened and Megan cut Lee loose. They made some public statements about still being the best of ‘mates‘, and even cracked wise about Megan being seen kissing Liz Hurley in a glass elevator. It’s a relief to know that’s a joke since Gale can do way better!

When Dexter gets messy, he gets seriously messy

That brings us to another 2 year bust up. Dexter star Michael C Hall has split from his wife Dexter co star Jennifer Carpenter. They seemed like a good match since they’re both Southerners and serious television actors. When Hall got cancer Carpenter nursed him through his illness much the way Loni Anderson nursed Burt Reynolds through his health issues. That had some commenting that Carpenter was a keeper.

Hall wasn’t to keep her long. Rumors started circulating about some awful fights between the couple on the Dexter set. The fights supposedly pertained to Hall’s supposed cheating with Julia Stiles. So there’s a kick in the pants for everyone who still insisted that Hall was a closeted gay. Some reports have Dexter doing Stile since October. Lainey says:

I mentioned yesterday that there are a few more details about one of the recent splits announced in Hollywood this week. Turns out there was someone else: his love interest this season on his tv show. Their chemistry was so crazy and so evident to everyone that writer and producers, seeing it play out on set, actually cranked up their sex scenes to capture it for show. Her career has seen a resurgence since.

Eventually the two fell in love. They were together, very close, at a Halloween party in New York this fall hosted by a famously controversial writer (this isn’t a super important detail) and those who observed them that night are not surprised now that he’s ended it with his wife.

So that has everyone speculating on the future of the series. In particular it has everyone speculating about Carpenter’s future with the series. Things are so tense between the estranged couple now that it’s practically impossible for them to work together. So if the series is to survive then some one has to go. Since it’s unlikely to be Hall, it looks like Carpenter’s character Deb Morgan may not survive this season. Just another example of how fucking in the work place can be such a bad career move. It’s also an example of how looks and money aren’t the answer to life.


Is Mel Gibson a drunken woman beater?

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Oksana Grigorieva claims that former lover mel gibson beat her up in a drunken rage, breaking her teeth and giving her a concussion Mel Gibson went his separate way from tart de jour Oksana Grigorieva people asked “What took him so long?” People also wondered whether there might not be more to it. Celebs aren’t known for coming to their sense, at least not without extensive and repeated stays in rehab. Also Grigorieva was dropping some heavy hints along the lines of “The truth will come out” and “You’ll see“. If you love it when gold digging tramps start talking about he truth then you’re gonna dig what comes next. Oksie claims that Mel Gibson is a drunken brute who beat he face off her!

The first assigns that this might not have been an amicable split was when word leaked that Gibson had filed a restraining order against Oksie. Mel’s people filed off the usual bullshit press release claiming that Mel and Oksie were still bosom buds, and that they planned to raise their child jointly. Oksie was soon to call his drunken bigoted ass on that publicly!

Oksie claimed that she was the one who filed for a restraining order. She insists that Mel needed restraining because he was extremely violent. OG says that Mel beat her up in a drunken fit – perhaps about the Jews – during which he broke her teeth and gave her a concussion. Oksie says that she filed the restraining order, out of fear for her well being; and that Mel counter filed in an attempt to get access to his alleged love child.

Oksana did plenty of talking too. At first she didn’t say too much. She gave an interview to TMZ in which she played coy. When asked about the alleged beating she insisted that she couldn’t talk about it. There was a custody issue at stake and her lawyers told her not to talk about it. There were other things that she did want to talk about. She’s “doing great” for instance. Oh yeah and there’s also her alleged music career. Holding on to those unrealistic pipe dreams just shows such a great attitude!

She was to be less closed lipped with TMZ a little later. In a subsequent interview Oksie claimed that Mel beat her up badly back in January. That must’ve been the time Jodie Foster wanted him to do that flick with the beaver. Such humiliation mist be enough to send any A List ego into meltdown.

The wrinkle in the story is that Oksie stayed with Sugar Daddy after the alleged incident. Sources close to Mel Gibson (perhaps some one named Bugdoll, who likes to post semi literate gibberish on various Internet message boards?) have pointed that out claiming it’s proof positive that the bitch made it up. Oksie got an answer for that though: she stayed for a little while cause she loved him. If she’s the one who got the concussion then why does she talk like we’re the ones with brain damage?

Naturally Mel can explain this away. He admits that there was some physical contact back in January, but it was justified. According to Mel they were all hanging out around the pool back in Jan. when Oksie started acting up. She grabbed young Lucia – the child who might be Mel’s though David Foster ain’t off that paternity hook either – and ran around the back of the house. She then threw herself, baby and all, down on the ground. She proceeded to get up, run inside, and then shake the baby like a rag doll. Perhaps remembering all those ‘shaken baby syndrome‘ stories, Mel figured it was appropriate to lay the smack down on that sorry bitch’s ass – though Mel would describe it more diplomatically as “some physical contact“.

Now Mel insists that everything was copacetic after that. Oksie went traveling with him. When they eventually split Mel stayed over at her Russian pad looking after Lucia while Oksie continued to beat the dead horse which is her musical career. Oksie mom even sent the body guards away so father and daughter could enjoy some quality time together! However Oksie started thinking that maybe joint custody wasn’t such a hot idea. She filed for a restraining order keeping Mel at least 100 yards away from either her or her daughter. She wouldn’t even let Gibson spend Father’s Dad with l’il Lucia. What’s more, Oksie’s claiming that she’s got the goods on Mel by way of tape recorded conversations! Since the tapes were made without Mel’s consent or knowledge a judge has ordered them sealed, and Oksana gag ordered to prevent her from talking about them. Knowing Oksana though, we’ll probably be hearing a lot more soon. She seems like a tough one to keep gagged.

voodoo videos

That sad thing is that all this drama is keeping mel from his important research into Freemasonry & the occult. Considering that Hollywood is rotten with occultism, the world really needs Mel and his drunken outlandish conspiracism now more than ever. Well mel has got his hands full so it’s up to the rest of us – you & me – to be extra vigilant so that those Hollywood sorcerers don’t manage to pull the wool over our eyes. You can begin to be more vigilant by keeping up on Tila Tequila’s daring anti Illuminati posts over @ MissTilaOMG, and by watching the following short but startling videos!


Hollywood Insiders: Full Disclosure 1/8 from Going Etheric on Vimeo.


3 of 8 Fallen Angels(Occult Symbolism in Film) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.


5 of 8 Fallen Angels(New World Order movies) from Going Etheric on Vimeo.

Of course witch craft is one of the more mundane threats we face. Coming soon the ET angle – look for our Wondertrash entitled simply UFO!


UFO from rama on Vimeo.

In tastiest hyperboles

UFO – Episode 10
Deleted User | MySpace Video

Just remember that no one quits SHADO – that’s why they spend billions on security and zero on on retirement benefits!


Sexy ‘n’ Sorry

positions with perks

Brit motor cross boss robin mortimer died after a nitrous oxide fueled s&m sex session with top european dominatrix mistress lucreziaWhen you’re a big high powered celebrity doin’ some screwin’ is just one of the perks of the position. Of course sometimes things get out of hand. Like in the strange case of Robin Mortimer. Mortimer is the founder, and boss,of British Motorcross. he also had a healthy interest in some unhealthy pastimes; like bondage and extreme sadomasochism.

Mistress Lucrezia bills herself as europe's most pervesrted and dangerous dominatrix and has claimed a high profile casuality in the person of robin mortimerMortimer had a wife, however still felt the need to go trolling around London’s numerous sicko clubs looking for a little relief from his urges. That’s where he made the acquaintance of Mistress Lucrezia. Ms Lucrezia is one of Europe’s most perverted dominatrices, and a prostitute. Together with her partner Mistress Juno, the woman who describes herself as “sadistic, intelligent & perverse,” and “a sadist of the worst kind,” entertained Mortimer at her Belgian flat for over the course of a weekend. Somewhere between the whips, chains, and nitrous oxide, Mortimer died. Prosecutors are awaiting the results of a full autopsy before deciding how to proceed. That leaves everyone else asking “How did Jesse James ever miss out on this bitch?

BTW nitrous oxide fueled sex is what killed Brit funny man Peter Sellars.

Destiny’s love child

Beyonce KNowles has stopped speaking to her father after DNA tests confirmed him as the father of a son by tv actress Alexsandra WrightThe combination of sexy & sorry has reached into the rarefied world of super entertainer Beyonce Knowles. Knowles has stopped speaking to her father, and completely shut him out of her life after it was revealed that he fathered a love child with a woman 20 years his junior. DNA tests confirmed that Matthew Knowles father a son, Nixon (that name never works out) on his 38 year old mistress Alexsandra Wright, and he did it while still married to Beyonce’s mom!

Matthew managed Beyonce’s career through her early rise to fame with Destiny’s Child. However things have reached an all time low point between Beyonce & her dad. Unnamed sources are quoted as saying:

Beyoncé was horrified to find out her dad cheated on her mom. She always looked up to him, and she is very close to her mom, so this has hit her really hard. She is refusing to speak to him, which is making things difficult where it comes to managing her career. Some people at Columbia now think it would be better to move him aside.

The suit was filed back in October, and the resulting DNA tests have allowed the courts to compel the Knowles the elder to pay almost $9000 a month in child support. It also helped trigger a divorce between Beyonce’s parents. Naturally Beyonce’s PR reps are hard at work denying the obvious. Says one: “There is no merit to this. This is absolutely false.

BTW if Wright’s name sounds familar it might be because she was no the TV series Scrubs.

celebrity quote of the day:

People write to me and say, ‘I’m giving up, you’re not talking to me.’ I just write them a simple message like, ‘Never give up,’ you know? And it changes their life.
~Justin Bieber

That Bieber is really on the ball. Speaking of which baseball season has begun and a healthy interest in sports is a good remedy for an unhealthy interest in sexy time – Unless you’re ARoid!. So Keep you eye on the ball & remember something inspioring that some one else told you sometime! That way you can avoid bugging Bieber.


Speaking of freaky sex Lexx hottie Xenia Seeberg has veered into the extremes of drastic plastic surgery. Since splitting with her hubby (he called it quits after Xenia, a black belt in Tae Kwon Do, beat the shit out of him. The poor man had to show up at the Berlin premier of Inglorious Basterds wearing shades and an eye patch – also with a new chick!) Xenia has had a insecurity crisis. She assumes that the marriage tanked out because she’s losing her looks, instead of because she beat the crap out of her man – men never complained about it before. So she’s gone under the knife for extensive touch ups. Here now is a world exclusive of Xenia’s post surgery face!

xenia seeberg's post plastic surgery facexenia seeberg's post plastic surgery face
I’m sure that it’ll look just fine once the sharp edges flatten out out. On the bright side her fore head is very smooth.


Unchitel – Boreanaz text messages released.

Unchitel - Boreanaz text messages released.Rachel Uchitel is the sleazy little vixen who busted up Tiger Woods’ marriage. While no one was gonna give her a round of applause or anything no one was gonna hold it against her either. Tiger had some well concealed problems and Uchitel was only another face in the crowd. It turns out that Woods wasn’t the only crowd in town. In fact Uchitel had another man she was crazy about. You might have heard of this one too – he’s David Boreanaz, star of Buffy, Angel, and Bones.

Boreanaz is a married man. That’s never stopped Uchitel before, and is usually an encouragement! So while Boreanaz’s wife was expecting their child. The marriage was on shaky ground though, so Boreanaz felt it was okay to meet with Uchitel for sleazy hook ups in various places. For instance while Mrs. Boreanaz was expanding, Big Daddy Dave was off with Rachel @ L’Hermitage Hotel. That’s a pretty swanky joint down in LA, but Dave was happy to pay the bill for their 3 day sex sessions. Rachel seemed pretty happy too since she described Dave as amazing and the sex as just as amazing (at a loss for words?). I’m sure she’d say that even if she weren’t getting screwed in a 5 star $1500 a night room with a magnum of Dom Perignon being brought up by room service. Now that part is an exaggeration cause the texts don’t go into detail about what they ate & drank. They were much more concerned about what they were doing and what they were going to do to each other.

Now RadarOnLine seems to have the Uchitel Blackberry concession. The full transcripts are up on their site. Just to wet your appetite here are some of the things covered:

In the Blackberry Messenger mesages Uchitel goes by the name of Puma and ranges from being graphically seductive with Boreanaz to raging at him for not spending enough time with her.
In the messages, Uchitel tells Boreanaz that she is unable to go see him in LA and urges him to come see her in NY instead, writing, “I
need you here so we can be together.”

Boreanaz tells her, “This is not a good time.”
His wife Jamie was pregnant with the couple’s second child at the time of his affair with Uchitel.
Uchitel erupts in anger and writes, “I can’t do this anymore…Just go.
“Just (bleeping) go and be with her.”
This causes Boreanaz to get angry and he writes: “Why do u act like such a (bleeping) child!!!
“She is my wife”
But that doesn’t cause Uchitel to back off and she replies:
“Oh, please!!”
She grows more furious with him and writes:
“You’re such a liar. You’re never leaving. You’ve wasted my time and I’m once again alone.”
She adds: “I can’t (bleeping) be alone anymore. I’ve been alone my entire life.”
And Boreanaz fights back, writing, “What the HELL are you talking about. We spend more than enough time together.”

Then there’s some more:

Uchitel tells Boreanaz in one message that she is arriving in Los Angeles at 9.30 the next morning. A source close to the New York club hostess told RadarOnline.com exclusively that this is one of several secret meetings the lovers had in Los Angeles and that they hooked up at the swanky L’Hermitage Hotel – with Boreanaz footing the bill.

Uchitel also references another location, where, the source tells RadarOnline.com, the couple enjoyed a secret tryst. According to the source Uchitel flew on a US Air flight out of La Guardia airport with Boreanaz on June 21st 2009 and they had a three-day hook up.

That was the incident where Rach described Dave as amazing. He must’ve been since they were there 3 days and screwed almost constantly for the whole time! It wasn’t all fun though. Occasionally tempers got heightened as well as hormone levels:

In the sexually graphic messages Boreanaz references explicit pictures and video that he has sent to Uchitel, asking her what her favorite is. In response to Uchitel accusing him of not missing her, he replies, “I missss [sic] you more than words can express.”

At one point Uchitel accuses Boreanaz of stringing her along, writing, “You’re such a liar. You’re never leaving. You’ve wasted my time and I’m once again alone.”

Gloria Allred: Attorney most likely to represent the devil on judgment day!

I guess y’all are asking “how did Jesse James ever miss out on this slut?“As for Uchitel she says that men are always stringing her along. She must’ve picked up a few tricks along the way cause when the Tiger shit hit the fan (and the world of pro golf was never the same again – for one thing golf is no longer a game played to escape pressure!) Uchitel went right out and got Gloria Allred to rep her. Now most people hate lawyers, but Gloria Allred is the lawyer that others lawyers hate. You might say that she’s an attorney’s attorney. She also got Uchitel 10 million and an apology off of Tiger. So if RU is being strung along then that string must jerk both ways!

Perhaps the only positive in this is that Boreanaz and Uchitel didn’t dress up for Buffy & Angel cosplay during their screw-cations together. That would’ve just spoiled the memory for everyone! Say, if they were into cosplay you don’t think that it was something really bizarre?


Matt Lauer and "the cheatin side of me"

The problem is all inside your head, the answer is easy of you take it logically!

The Matt Lauer cheating story is picking up again. Cheating stories have been wildly popular recently – so perhaps it was time for this to move back to the front burner. First a little recap, & let’s start with the obvious. It helps keep everything clear.

Matt is the popular host of the popular chat show Good Morning America. He’s bright, personable, well liked by most of his colleagues (there has been some behind the scenes friction with Meredith Vierra, but she came from the View where conflict is expected and even encouraged), and married to a beautiful Dutch fashion model named Annette Jade Roque.

On the Roques – tried until tired

Life should have been good for Good Morning America’s main man except that back in 1998, when his wife was expecting their 3rd child, the couple separated and filed for divorce. Seems that Roque was a bit flighty (years of anorexia & diet pills can leave some models light headed & nervous). Roque got it in her head that Matt was a philanderer. Part of this is because she was never quite sure of what he was up to. This was because Matt was always on the road as part of his GMA duties. Now Matt tried to explain to her that this was what he had to do to earn the money with which he kept her in the style to she’d become accustomed to – nervous!

soothing that seething someone, within the limits of logic

Annette didn’t buy that, even though it added up. Too convenient. So as her pregnancy progressed she got crazier and crazier, and made more of a stink. Now in Matt’s defense it wasn’t that she had proof he’d cheated, it was just that he couldn’t prove to her that he hadn’t. So the pretty woman drove herself into a case near psychosis by trying to prove a negative! Ask any atheist – you just can’t win trying to prove a negative.

paranoia succumbs to reverse psychology, temporarily

Well Matt got to a point where he couldn’t take it. So he walked out, and filed for divorce. His honesty and directness about not being able to stand the sight of her anymore seemed to get through to her. Maybe he really wasn’t cheating. Besides she was getting nearer her due date and that’s no time to drive away the bread winner just for the sake of getting carried away. So they reconciled and dropped the divorce. They went back to their hard and bitter peace, and little was heard, until now!

Vancity, Vancity – all is Vancity!

Things hummed along as usual for a while. Annette got thinner and Matt kept losing hair. Then the Winter Olympics came along and the strain proved too much. Matt had to go to Vancouver for the show. This put him out of ISR – Immediate Surveillance Range. So Annette’s imagination moved into overdrive again. It didn’t help that the wife of another GMA staffer starting tell Annie stories about Matt living it up in Vancity. In particular he liked to party down and flirt with good looking young chicks – of which there is a plenitude in Vancouver.

two non-stop days of fighting

Perhaps Matt was glad to be out of the mad house for awhile cause when the Olympics clued up Lauer decided to stay in town for a while. Going home to a crazed anorexic supermodel wife with an endless list of accusations may have seemed like something that could wait. Annette didn’t see it that way, so when Matt got back the marriage was over!

sports ruins another already defunct marriage?

Anyway on Matt’s return one thing lead to another and soon he walked out again (it worked before). In fact the pair have been living apart ever since the Winter Olympics (that was a great opening ceremony but did it remind anyone else of Pink Floyd’s Pulse?). Not only that but Annette has taken off her wedding ring.

So now they’re running up to divorce again. Contacts have said that though Matt likes to blow off steam, he’s never cheated. As a public person had he cheated it would certainly have come to light by now. Word is Matt just got so very tired of trying to reason with his crazy wife. As previously said the basis of her suspicions are Matt’s inability to prove a negative. You can’t reason with some one in that state and reverse psych will only work so many times (1 or 2). So Matt threw up his hands and left.

Good Morning America & the case of the kooky cookie – a comedy of terrors

While Matt’s wife is clearly crazy, and there is a real lack of evidence that Matt ever had his finger in anyone else’s cookie jar – I really think that Matt himself is to blame for this. If those delightful 60’s sitcoms have taught us anything it’s that you’re never gonna get out of a spot by reasoning with people. For one thing that could lead to truth telling and other unwelcome glimpse’s of reality. To deal with suspicious wives, demanding bosses, nosy neighbors etc. you have to rely on a really good story.

why reason with some one when you could tell them a zany story?

Ideally it should be something over elaborate and highly entertaining, like such as the kind Elizabeth Montgomery used to deflect the snoopy Gladys Kravitz (“Abner come quick – the Stevens woman is flying around her living room on a broom stick!” “Gladys I don’t care if she’s flying to the moon in a rocket ship! Come away from that window and mind your own business!” Abner was clearly the Sergeant Schultz in that arrangement. Still Samantha’s inventive stories were far more magical than any of her nose twitching – like the time she convinced Gladys that she must actually be the witch, & not Samantha. “Well Mrs Kravitz the stuff you notice only seems to happen when you’re around. Do you think that you could be causing it? Why I think that you’ve got the power!“). Failing that one of Major Nelson or Col Hogan’s zany routine might be worth a try. Reason didn’t help Hogan’s Heroes win WW2 from inside a Luftstalag. For one thing some one had to teach he Limey’s how to cheat!

for life’s answers turn to country music and sitcoms!

So when cornered by his dreadful mate, he merely needed to counter her unreasonable accusations with a bundle of preposterous lies ( ie assertions that can’t be disproved – make the paranoia work for you instead of against you). Now that’ll take her completely off guard for one thing. It might even put her in the position of having to prove a negative. So the marriage would have a chance of being the normal working dysfunctional relationship – just like Billary Clinton.

The only problem is coming up with something really good. Now that’s not as hard as you might think. Just begin with the obvious, and then give it a little twist. For instance had Matt took a leaf from the Hank Williams Sr songbook he might have been able to talk his wife out of her accusation, rather than wasting time in the lost cause of trying to talk sense into her. Just like the condemned solider in the following country classic.

Now before you scoff it has also been known to work on dictatorial tyrants, like Margaret Thatcher!

new situations old complications!

Wow, that was like watching Seneca talk himself out of one of Nero’s many many death traps. So if you’re gonna be truthful why not start with yourself, & that kind of honesty is all about clarity. Remember that the issue isn’t trying to get a nut to be sane, that would be a crazy expectation! It’s about dealing with what’s making them act up. It’s not Annette’s cheating concerns that have to be directly contradicted, but her insecurities that need creative stroking (Of course in the event that Annette has superpowers or anything then the Col Hogan routine goes out the window). Anything else is like getting mad at your car for not starting. Remember Matt that there are 13 tricks in a deck of cards, & 50 ways to leave your lover!


Old Dog Same Old Tricks

The best part of waking up may be Folgers in your cup, but a double shot of whiskey in that might make it even better! That’s not the only thing that helps you get up. If you’re Mel Gibson then having a bevy of moderately attractive but extremely easy women at your beckon call can help too!

Mel might have send Ms Potato Head Oksana Grigoreiva packing, but according to OG while Mel was cheating on his wife with her, he was cheating on her with a porn star. Oh the humiliation. Of course with a face that’s 98% collagen, Oksie should be beyond feelings like humiliation. I doubt she has any feeling left in many parts of her body.

For more on Mel & the porn star head on over to Gossiprocks! You really ought’a follow that thread through to the end, cause it gets really hairy. Kudos to Bugdoll for livening things up to the nth degree!

In other news Jessica Alba seems to be taking inspiration from Robert Downey jr.’s incredible motion picture come back. 5 or 10 years ago people were talking about RD as finished. He’d had an amazing movie career, and even picked up an Oscar nom for Chaplin. He also picked up some high praise from critics for that role, some of whom started describing him as a genius. Alas his next role would be as a reoccurring guest star on Allie McBeal – that was the show about the sexy lawyer who hallucinated and talked to herself.

You saw how good RD was in McBeal. Though the whole cast was talented, watching them share scenes with RD was like watching greyhounds race a thoroughbred! That was to be his last acting gig for a while. Now his hit it out of the ball park again with Ironman 2. That kind of makes him A Lister # 1 right now. Just think that 10 years ago Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson were the kings of Follywood while Downey was the subject of latenight monologue jokes. How times have changed.

Back to Alba: she’s returning to the screen after a maternity related hiatus (probably quite wise to spend some mommy time with Honor!). However Sue Storm won’t be playing a superhero this time. In fact it looks like she might be ready to go Dexter or something with what’s billed as a killer part. Here’s the trailer on that!

Just kidding – here’s the real trailer!

Hope it works out for her. If not she can always sign on for Fantastic Four 3, and eventually 4. She’d better get on that quick, though, before producers decide to offer her role to Jessica Alba 2.0 – Megan Fox!

Jessica Alba 2.0 - Megan Fox

<img src="http://www.sloganizer.net/en/style2,Wondertrash.png" alt="

Bombshell Speaks

The Gorilla and the Bombshell

The Gorilla and the BombshellMichelle Bombshell McGee is best known as the heavily tattooed neo Nazi stripper who blew Sandra Bullock’s world apart only days after her Oscar win. Now she didn’t do that by exploding – her name is only a figure of speech. She did her damage by screwing Sandy’s grease monkey hubby Vanilla Gorilla, better known as Jesse James.

a fucking idiot fucking an idiot – which is which?

A lot came out about Jesse via Bombshell, such as he likes sleazy broads, he’s into the White Power trip (I wonder if he knows Mel Gibson and Michael Richards, and more importantly does Morgan Freeman want his e mail address back. Maybe Sandy’s slightly patronizing Oscar night quip about that was another figure of speech?), and he collects Nazi memorabilia. Oh yeah and most importantly that James is a fucking idiot. Much of this reflected badly on Ms Bombshell.

the grass is always greener over the septic tank

Now Bombshell wants to set the record straight by cleaning the slate, or vice versa. The most important thing she wants to get clear to the public is that she didn’t do it. More to the point she did do it but she didn’t know that she was doing it. If she’d known what she was doing then she’d never have done it. Oh well, that’s what we all say. To be concise McGee claims that she thought Gorilla and Mrs Gorilla were dunzo before she got anywhere near the scene of the crime.

now that we’ve been intimate, lets get personal!

There are a few other things that McGee wants the world to know about her, She’s a Sandra Bullock fan, she’s not a Nazi, she’s a sweet nice person that comes off ‘rough’ in picture (you got that damn straight. I’ve seen things run over on the highway that looked like they had less mileage on ’em!), and most importantly she’s not that horrible Katvond. Oh yeah, and she’s gonna whip that porn star’s ass in that slutslugfest that’s been set up. Here’s Michelle Bombshell McGee to explain herself for herself!

[redlasso id=’36ed9606-fa34-4a6a-a1c6-c2c8eb1d1474′]

It’s finally safe for Tonya Harding to go out in public again!

the grass is always greener over the septic tank

Coming soon to Wondertrash: America’s most frightening reality TV family are getting ready to invade your living room!

pic courtesy of Dr Zaius – no relation to Vanilla Gorilla

They not only know how to handle heavy caliber firearms, but they’ve also got talent to burn. You ought a see their music video – #1 with the bullet!


PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA has been caught in a shocking cheating scandal?

pres obama caught in cheating scandal by the national enquirerHalle Berry just can’t catch a break. Just when she announced the break up of her long time (in Follywood time) relationship to sperm donor Gabriel Aubry, The National Enquirer wants that Pulitzer bad. So much so that they no longer content with running John Edwards’ dirty laundry through the streets – & who knew that there was so much of it. Now they’re loaded for big game, and their sights are set on the President. So Halle’s off the Radar again.

The NE is currently posting on their web site that President Barack Obama has been caught in a Clinton type cheating scandal. According to the Pulitzer nominated supermarket tabloid the President has caught himself in a tight spot with a knock out campaign aide in a Washington hotel. Vera Baker actually worked for Obama when he was a Senator, & was active in helping him get re elected. She didn’t just run the voter lists over the cold call center either. She’s raised millions. She’s raised something else too if reports are to be believed. A limo driver is claiming that he took Vera to a top secret tete et tete with America’s # 1 man back in 04.

Now Vera is denying that anything happened. Plus anti Obama operatives have had a bounty out on the Pres. They – whoever they are, Teapotters probably – are offering 1 million in rapidly devaluing American Dollars for anyone with information that can “bring the President down”. That sounds rough, but the big boys play dirty and especially when health care reform gets brought up.

Now the limo driver is being offered the money. He hasn’t collected yet, so I assume that there is some minor legal technicality preventing him from collecting – like whether the story is true. Still with a Putz Prize in the offing the NE doesn’t want to blow the first real credibility they’ve ever had by going off half cocked on a cheating scandal. That would just be plain stupid. The NE says the story is developing. Besides even if it is true it was in 04, and everyone did stuff that they were ashamed of back in the Bush years.

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