A Boob, a Brawl, & Sofia Vergara!

Once upon a time in New York City there was a severely schizophrenic man who believed that he was being contacted by space aliens. They’d visit him during the night and whisk him away to the mother ship, where they’d implant him with their alien microchips. That way they could stay in contact with him by beaming a continuous barrage of ET space talk into his defenseless brain.

Naturally the mental health people eventually caught up with him, and the poor fellow spent some time in hospital. He’d tell the doctors about his strange alien communications and repeat what the ET’s told him. This stuff was pretty colourful and he was encouraged to write it down. The stuff got read and even circulated a bit – I guess in those journals run by mental health orgs.

Anyway his ‘visions’ were so interesting that they found their way to the National Enquirer. They took a keen interest and wound up offering the guy a job. So he goes from being a homeless schizophrenic with a jammed communicator to a tabloid writer making a 6 figure salary. There’s was only one catch. Every so often his editor would phone up his psychiatrist and ask to have his meds reduced. That was when the stuff he was coming up with wasn’t crazy enough for the paper.

The above story may be apocryphal but the point is that tabloid journalism has a crazy streak running through it. Now let’s move on to the crazy!

Celebrity Story Theater

Not so long ago in Miami TV hottie Sofia Vergara and her boyfriend Nick Loeb went out to celebrate New Years. They could’ve probably used a night out since the couple were in a tense frame of mind. Bystanders say they were arguing through out the evening. So a night of clubbing seemed like just the thing. The fact that they went to hotspot Story may not have helped. That place is run by Sofie’s former boyfriend Chris Paciello.

WhoSayPhotoEmbed.create({vanityRoot: “http://www.whosay.com/sofiavergara”, clientName: “Sofia Vergara”, vanityLink: “http://www.whosay.com/sofiavergara/photos/268482”, photoId: “http://media.whosay.com/268482/268482_lalt.jpg”, title: “Ready to recieve the new year at Bianca! Gracias @ChrisPaciello1”, width: “500”, })

Sofia Vergara on WhoSay

Now they were all adults in this situation so everyone should’ve been cool. Accounts say that Sofie and Chris are no more than friends. However the situation seemed to prey on Loeb’s already frayed nerves. So he quickly went from arguing with Vergara to arguing with a bunch at a near by table. Now you know what happens when there’s alcohol, sexual tension, and strained nerves involved. The sh!t can hit the fan. That’s what did happen when Nick got into some kind of shoving match with the party at the next table.

Well quick as a wink the club security were on him. Sofie bravely thrust herself into the fray, to support her man. The only thing she managed to accomplish however was trashing her dress – and that resulted in an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction where one of Vergara’s boobs got a public airing out. Upshot of the situation was that a battered and bruised Loeb got hussled out the back door by club security, with Vergara in hot pursuit.

Vergara & Loeb were livin la vida Lohan

So it was an eventful night for all involved. Nick got pounded after getting into an altercation with bystanders, Sofie got  exposed after her boob slipped out while she was playing peace maker, and Story night club got into the headlines. So that’s a hectic night even for Lindsay Lohan! However everything ended well enough as Sofie and Nick kissed and made up – where else? – but on Twitter! So it’s a celeb story with all the ingredients. The only way the angles would’ve been completely covered is if the party at the next table – with which Loab got into a fracas with, were a group of visiting extraterrestrials! That would be too much to wish for though!

wondertrash
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