Screwing Sienna Miller will fuck your brain

Remember Rhys Ifans? He’s the Welsh singer/actor who briefly dated Sienna Miller while she was between wrecking marriages. That didn’t work out and the whole sorry deal left Ifans in some dingy Brit bar hollering,screaming, challenging folks to fights, and telling anyone who’d listen how great Hitler was. Then he groped some one on the dance floor, flipped a table, and passed out. That’s how I remember it being reported, though certain Andy Dick incidents could’ve gotten mixed in there. It would’ve been a good night’s work for Dick.

Now everyone was hoping that this was some kind of passing phase and that Rhys would get back to his senses and to whatever it is that he usually does for a living. Well that’s exagerating since large segments of the population don’t know who the hell Rhys Ifans is or what the fuck he does for a living. Let’s just say that many bystanders were hoping that Miller hadn’t fucked another life. I’m not calling Miller out as some kind of slut; I’m just saying that’s what passer bys write on the front of her home.
Well if there were any of you hoping that Hurricane Sienna’s destructive effects had there limits then I’ve got some bad news. Though Rhys did eventually get back towards some kind of gainful employment, he’s still worse for wear. The gainful employment part involves that new Spiderman movie their making. Rhys plays The Lizard. That’s the mad scientific character who turns himself into a mutant monster while trying to regrow his arm. He probably should’ve just stuck some bug in the microwave and let it bite him; but characters in the comic seem unaware of the storylines they participate in. It turns out that Rhys is just as monsterous in real life as the character he plays in comic book flicks.
Rhys had to go down to Comic-con to promote Spirderman. It used to be a place for Asperger’s suffered and guys who could neither get laid nor get rid of pimples. Nowadays it’s a major promotional venue. Since Rhys is lucky to be doing anything, it behooved him (like that word? Art Garfunkel used to use it a lot in interviews!). Now appearing at Comic-con is enough to grate on any normal person’s nerves; However Ifans had a blow out that went well beyond nerd related pique.
Seems that when Rhys was trying to get into the building there was some kind of misunderstanding. Ifan’s people – and how fortunate they must feel to be under such ownership – lacked the proper entrance credentials. So some annoying security personal held them up at the door. That’s what got Ifan’s goat. It’s bad enough to have to go to Nerdfest, then to get all the way there and be held up a the door is too damned much! So Rhys got enraged and shoved a female security person.
Though Rhys was rowdy, & drunk; he gamely went in to sit out his panel duty. he answered a bunch of questioned from people with no social life nor normal interested. Then on his way out of the building he had more security related problems. Another guard placed him under citizen’s arrest for assault! That lead to a visit from the real cops, and the following statement from Lt Andra Brown:

“He was aggressive and belligerent,” Lt. Andra Brown said of the Welsh actor. “He was… berating everyone from the security staff to the United States of America.”

“He was cited and released, which is a non-custodial misdemeanor arrest,” added Brown, who said that the San Diego City Attorney will now determine whether to pursue charges. Ifans could be required to pay a fine, or could contest the case before a judge.

Witnesses say that security was a little over aggressive. They also say that Rhys was belligerent & stewed to the gills. In fact Rhys got so overwrote that he exclaimed, during the festivities, that “The USA sucks”. At least Sienna restricted herself to the city of “Shitsburgh”. Anyway Rhys got a trip in the squad car, but was later released. He had recently celebrated a birthday and so wasn’t in the best state of mind. He many or may not be required to pay a fine. We can only hope that this is once again a passing phase, and not something more serisous; like Sienna Miller related long term brain damage! Let’s just hope that the poor mouthy fellow hasn’t talked himself onto some no fly list, or he won’t have to worry about going to America again for awhile (though his security problems might persist).
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