Ted Nugent Offers Disingenuous "Apology" For Calling Obama A "Subhuman Mongrel"

Ted goes off half cocked, shoots from the lip

Ted Nugent is many things. He’s a genuinely talented musician. Although zany, he’s an articulate & outspoken advocate for the causes he supports. He’s an inflammatory media personality who can be counted on to say something outrageous. These days he’s also up to his neck in shit. That’s because while debating a cause he fervently believes in – the right to bear arms, he got carried away and called US President Barack Obama a ‘sub human mongrel’. That at about 2:50 on the above tape.

while talking to the good people at guns.com recently motor city mad man Ted Nugent got a little carried away while using his 1st ammendment rights to defend his 2nd ammendment rights. Then he called US President Barack Obama a really nasty name
America’s Crazy Uncle Ted

Now to understand a multi faceted personality like Ted Nugent you have to put him in context. Every other family in America has a “crazy uncle”. He’s usually your mom or dad’s youngest sib. His parents were too old and tired to deal with him so he grew up wild & doing pretty much whatever the fuck he wanted. He drops by your house unexpected, because your parents would never invite him. When he shows up he’s stinking of booze and weed. Some completely messed up girl who looks like a stripper is hanging on his arm. He invites himself in and spends the evening regaling everyone with tales of fucking and fighting. While the children gather around to listen eagerly, mom looks like she’s about to give birth to an ulcer. Dad just kind of stares blankly into space while nursing a strong drink. Occasionally dad nods and says something non committal like “uh huh”, or “hmmmm”. The theme of the evening is “let’s just get this over with”. If the scene were a painting it would be Norman Rockwell by Salvador Dali! Basically Nugent is America’s Crazy Uncle Ted & friendly bad influence.

So that brings us back to Ted and the shit he’s in. Ted was giving an interview to the good people over at guns.com. They have a lot in common, like their support of the second 2nd Amendment, and their liberal exercise of the 1st Amendment. That’s an admirable thing. More Americans should probably bother to acquaint themselves with the workings of their government, and involve themselves in it’s processes. That’s taking democracy back and making it work for the people – like it was intended to do (but if you put the foxes in charge of the hen house then what can you expect?). Problem is that Ted got carried away. Then he called the US Pres Barack Obama a real nasty name.

Now as you can imagine that hasn’t gone over very well. For one thing Ted is actively campaigning for Rick Perry‘s successor to the Texas governorship. I’m sure that the Republicans were glad to have him on board. It projects the right image – that conservative politics is as relevant to cool outlaw rock n rollers as it is to too big to fail wall street brokers. The common touch is where ever you find it! Of course now with Ted spouting racist type language of the kind that wouldn’t be welcome on Duck Dynasty, the right wing is distancing it’s self from Ted “Loose Cannon” Nugent. Like when Rick Perry showed up on CNN and admitted that he personally has a problem with anyone calling his president a ‘sub human mongrel’.

So where does that leave us. For one thing Ted probably ain’t getting invited out to any more political rallies. Professional politicians have enough trouble explaining their own gaffs without having to take responsibility for other peoples. It also leaves Ted backpedaling in the form of an apology. Apology is a fine thing, though some have described his as a bit ‘half hearted’. Since his original comments were a bit half cocked, maybe it evens out in sort of the same way that two wrongs make a right or something.

Then again lets hope that Crazy Uncle Ted is more responsible with his 2nd Amendment rights then he is in discharging his 1st Amendment rights. In the meantime Ted’s future forays into the public eye will probably be increasingly uninvited and unexpected. As entertaining as those might be, they might be a bit of a challenge to get through! Now here’s that apology!

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Alex Jones Goes Ballistic with Piers Morgan

The best TV since the WCW went out of business and the WWF turned into the WWE

If you’re following Twitter trends then you’ve noticed that Alex Jones (they guy who drove Charlie Sheen “warlock” insane) is now at #3. That’s because Jones was just on Piers Morgan‘s CNN show and gave a performance the like of which has never been seen outside the world of pro wrestling (I’m an Andy Kaufman fan so that’s a huge compliment). Basically Alex Jones has accused Piers of being a foreign object that the ref needs to eject from the ring. At least that’s the gist of his petition. The petition has reached over 100 000 signatures. Now whether or not that’s enough to send Piers back to London, it was more than enough to get Alex some mainstream exposure on CNN, & that’s got the twittervcerse buzzing. See what the commotion’s about by viewing Piers and Alex go at it in a no holds barred Texas style smack down in the following videos. Have fun and don’t forget to get yerself riled up!

TV has been crying out for this kind of entertainment ever since sit coms got squeezed out by countless Kardashian reality TV shows. The public has responded too. At least some where tonight some one has thrown a boot through the TV screen. Even the approx half of you who think that Alex has no business on the air are still eager for a rematch! The way the net’s been burning up, CNN would be nuts not too!

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Mila Kunis Goes Topless for "Esquire"

Mila Kunis Goes Topless for “Esquire

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Kirk Cameron – marriage is as old as dirt, homosexuality is unnatural and destructive

Kirk Cameron has some things to say about marriage – like it’s as old as dirt and every bit as wholesome. He also feels that homosexuality is not only unnatural but destructive. Now word on whether he think’s co eds who use contraceptives are little sluts who should pay off their tax payer funded fornication by being forced to do Internet porn! Rush Limbaugh has a very inventive mind. He’s also a little harsh – there’s no need to force some one’s daughter into the porn industry when it shouldn’t go any farther than reality TV!

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists
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Ted Turner misses Jane Fonda

Once upon a time Ted Turner and Jane Fonda were a power couple only a shade or two below Bill & Hilary Clinton. Jane came from the Fonda Acting Dynasty, was a political activist, and enough of a pain in the ass to earn herself the moniker of Hanoi Jane. Turner was the flamboyant, maverick (is it safe to use that word again?) founder of CNN & Turner Broadcasting. He’s also the man who killed the late show when he bought and colourized most of the classic Hollywood movies. With that move he simultaneously earned the wrath of film critics & classic movie lovers, while gaining the gratitude of every late might talk show host from Leno & Letterman right up to Craig Ferguson and Jimmy Kimmel. People were willing to forgive him a lot because they really liked him & Jane together. They were a strong dynamic couple who seemed to compliment each other, instead of undermining on another. So when the divorced in 2001 after 10 years of marriage people were disappointed.

Turner was even more disappointed. Turner genuinely respected Fonda, whom he met while she was on the rebound from political activist Tom Hayden. It seemed that Turner found in Fonda a partner that he didn’t always agree with but always respected. The cable news magnate has admitted as recently quoted in the Mail, that Fonda influenced him in ‘lots of ways‘. She was also ‘She’s as opinionated as me, if not more. In areas like the status of women, she probably was even a little stronger than me, though I was always very much in favour of people’s rights and equal treatment for women.’ So it was a blow when she left. Turner admits to having cried for 6 months.

If his comments are any indication he never really got over Jane. That seems to be the opinion of former CNN exec Tom Johnson who said: “Ted’s still in love with her” & “I’ve thought many times he would love to have her back. They were such an unbelievable couple. It’s almost as though they discovered in each other the person who had the ultimate in shared values – not to mention great sex.” However Ted said he had to let her go and move on because ‘I couldn’t do anything else. What am I supposed to do, sit down and cry? I did for six months. And after that, you gotta go on.

When Turner makes up his mind to move on he really follow through to. He never remarried because as he put it ‘I’ve been married three times, and with my background in baseball (he owned two teams) I remember the first rule of the game is, three strikes and you’re out. I regret that I wasn’t more successful with my marriages, but it is what it is.’ So he divides his time between his four mistresses, whom he sees once a week. One of these ladies is novelist Elizaberry Dewberry. The other three Turner refuses to name. Having 4 women on stand by would help most guys take the situation philosophically. However when asked whether he sometimes gets lonely, Turner admits ‘Maybe a little’. Wealth, power, and success aren’t everything it seems, even when they have their consolations.

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Elliot Spitzer Fired

Elliot Spitzer gets fired up!

Fired is a strong word. The official word is canceled. Now for the half dozen people who are unawAshley Alexandra DupréImage by cvstodia via Flickrare of the Spitzer story Elliot was governor of New York until he got caught seeing hi end call girls. No word on how high their ends actually were but they were pretty pricey in the 4 and 5 figure variety. There was one chick he particularly liked, a Jersey girl called Ashley Dupree, or Super Duper Dupree on the Internet. Naturally the press latched onto her and she came out of the wood work. It paid off for her too since she was an aspiring singer and some of her tracks sold out through her Myspace site. Still her well of family – step father was a dentist or something – were appalled so Ash went away quietly.

Spitz would’ve loved to have gone quietly but had to settle for just going away. He was NY Gov and you just can’t have your elected officially screwing strange pieces of ass unless they’re Jack Kenn

CNNImage via Wikipedia

edy or Bull Clinton or something. So David Paterson was the new Gov and Spitz was out of a job. That left Spitz at loose ends. He landed on his feet thought. He managed to get a new gig in the relatively less dishonest profession of journalism. That is to say that CNN on put on with a regular show. The show was pretty good to and Spitz actually did a good job and seemed to be enjoying himself. It was to end soon enough, though not as badly as his governorship.
Now as I said fired is a strong word, though not as strong as forced out with his arm hammer locked behind him while being pointed towards the back alley in a bum’s rush. CNN has out it more in terms of the usual “restructuring” type double talk. In fact a CNN rep said the following:

“We are in discussions with Eliot Spitzer about an alternative role,” says a CNN staff memo. “We thank him and the entire In The Arenateam for creating a program that moved many political and economic issues into the national spotlight.”

That’s what you call vague but not one bit reassuring. If you heard you doctor tell you something like that you’d ask him how long you had left. In fact the whole examining other roles sounds like the story the producer of 60 Minutes used to tell. he’d been in telejournalism for years when one day an exec calls him into the office and tells him he’s gonna do him a big favour. He’s got a new role for him. He’s gonna put him in charge of a documentary crew and send him around the world covering the stories no one else is. He goes home excited and tells his wife. She hears him out and then replies “You realize that you’ve just been fired.” Promoting some one down is firing them sideways!
As for Spitz he had the following to say about thing – “We engaged serious people in conversations about national and global issues in a way that was informative and challenging. … I thoroughly enjoyed my time at CNN.” Now that’s getting screwed over and breaking out in Bob Hope‘sThanks For the Memories“. Spitz was completely understated about getting the heavy ho heave ho. He also had a chance to sign off to the audience as he walked the plank for his last broadcast. here’s a clip of that:
Looking on the bright side at least he’s better of than John Edwards. He’s still has his health too! What he doesn’t have is a job, or a ‘career trajectory’. Career trajectory is fancy double speak for what husband hunters used to call “prospects” back in the early part of the last century. Then thing is that he might serve as a warning to other hi living politicos. Taking sexy chances with your career doesn’t make you Jack Kennedy, and it can leave you with third degree rug burns if it doesn’t work out. Then you’re drowning in a sea of scandal with Arnold Schwarzenegger and looking for the life line. That’s bad because though there are second acts in American Politics these days it may involve reality TV. You don’t think Anthony Weiner is up for Spitz’s job by any chance?

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