More Hunger Games Outrage

What is the most abundant resource on earth? Bullshit!

George Mr Sulu Takei recently tweeted some Hunger Games comments that are so similar to my own sentiments that I could almost believe he’s been reading Wondertrash! Kudos to Sulu for getting to the real point!

check your palm flower – & be sure you’re still with the Green Party

What I don’t get is why those teens didn’t renew on carousel! Now there finished for ever. Besides most of them were yellows. Greens at most. They were years away from turning red, let alone blinking! Perhaps they might have considered running!

I like Icke

If science fiction has taught us anything it’s that the future is a savage place. That’s cause nostalgia ain’t what it used to be. If you’ve been listening to the conspiracy theorists, like David Icke, then you understand the fiendish agenda behind movies like The Hunger Games. Of course it’s predictive programming.

There’s a reasonable explanation, & then there’s the truth!

The thing is that society is ruled by blood drinking child sacrificing lizards from another dimension. That’s where the myth of vampires – which are getting so popular recently what with Kate Beckinsale sashaying around in her skin tight cat suit & tarted up like Erin Esurance with fangs, or Robert Pattison & Kristen Stewart with their slightly creepy goth puppy – come from. Vampires used to be ugly brutes, like Nosferatu in the black & white film. They might be played by legendary Hollywood Creep Actors like Peter Lore or Bela Lugosi. Now they’re played by B Movie Queens & hot teens. It’s an attempt to make them cool, & sell the agenda to the masses.

New World Disorder – truth is stranger than fiction and reality is a trip!

The agenda is more than blood drinking, but that’s a big part of it. The reason these beasts got hooked on human blood is because when it’s loaded with stress hormones it becomes a powerful drug to these reptoids. It’s like meth x1000! So naturally they can’t get enough of the stuff. The problem is how to keep the humans wound up enough to make sure that they favorite brand of Red Bull packs the right punch. So they destabilize society to keep people in a constant state of fear an uncertainty. Plus they keep us in a state of contention, until we literally define ourselves by conflict and competition – just like The Hunger Games!

college taught me nothing – everything I know I learned from tin foil hat media!

So we’re not in Kansas anymore. Just imagine what we don’t know! We can see for ourselves that our world is being transformed before our very eyes into something surreal. It’s a programming of terra forming that’s changing our world from our home into theirs in much the same way that the Europeans stole North America from the Indians and then build their own weird matrix upon it! It happened slowly and insidiously. By the time the Indians got around to futile rebellion, it was too damned late. With the bizarre changes that have been creeping upon us you could almost believe that some star ship of reptilians actually found it’s way here some time in the not too distant past, and that the visitors have been disguising themselves and taking over behind the scenes in a strategy that circumvents any direct conflict. Stealth is so much more effective.

invasion of the star people & the holographic agenda

The agenda of stealth relies heavily on perception management and image manipulation. Holography as David Icke calls it. That’s not so far out. A movie is merely the technique (& you can’t call it an art) of projecting a false image (Even Johnny Depp refers to his on screen image as “it”, and like to remains ‘profoundly ignorant’ to distance himself from the celluloid creature. Of course all successful movie stars are MK Ultra programmed multiplies with butterfly mind control, but that’s another story and Fritz Springmeier tells it best! Needless to say if you’re an aspiring actor or actress going out on auditions then be sure to wear a butterfly pin and you’ll be in like Flynn, but be warned. If you wear the emblem of the cult and you aren’t a programmed monarch slave, then you soon will be once you’ve attracted their attention. They’ll suspect you wore their butterfly symbol because you know something. Knowing something makes you dangerous – which is why so many get marginalized as ‘crazy’ conspiracy theorists. Then you’ll be whisked off for some impromptu brainwashing to make you one of Hollywood’s obedient little zombies. Before you know it you be in some back room in some abandoned studio lot, spaced out on LSD, blindfolded and ball gagged while an electric cattle prod is repeated shoved up your ass. So Julia Voth be warned – that sport of thing happens in the entertainment industry all the time!). So naturally the reptilians have infiltrated entertainment – where they are masters of appearing to be other than what they are, news media, the music industry, politics, and basically every other form of human entertainment. That way they can toy with our consciousness by slipping their embedded hidden messages in. So children are taught that hunting each other for sport is heroic and cool!

tricked into pretending and make believe games

The point is that everyone knows that something is wrong with the entertainment industry but no one is sure just what it is. Some people think that its’ just a bunch of shallow greedy low key psychopaths who found a way to sublimate their anti social urges for fun and profit, quietly working their way up the food chain in the process. Others think that it has to be way more serious than that, possibly involving star ships and dimensional portals. I’d have written of the reptilians theory has far fetched but there has been confirmation. Hunter S Thompson saw people morphing into lizards during a trip to Las Vegas while he was stoned out of his mind. They point is that something has to be done about this ‘ cultural poisoning’ and as usual the best thing to do is nothing. Turn off, tune out, and drop out! When you’ve lost touch too much it’s about as much as you can do! Anyone who decides not to show up at work on Monday has my blessing!

the only choice is to refuse and live among the ruins

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911 tape:Demi Moore ‘smoked something’ before convulsions

Demi Moore has had some wild adventures recently but their nothing compared to Fran the Nanny Drescher. Many of you will know her as the gal from TV with the annoying voice and the Lucille Ball humour and good looks. Well there’s a lot more to her than that. In addition to being a talented comedienne she’s also out of this world – literally.

Once there was a girl from Flushing Queens;
then aliens snatched her up with transporter beams.

You see not long ago and in a galaxy near you Fran was abducted by aliens; and so was her husband Peter Marc Jacobson, in a separate incident. According to Fran, and “in all seriousness”:

“You know, it’s funny, because Peter and I both saw (aliens) before we knew each other, doing the same thing, driving on the road with our dads,” Drescher said, “in all seriousness.”

“We were both in junior high. A few years later, we met, and we realized that we had the same experience. I think that somehow we were programmed to meet,” Drescher says. “We both have this scar. It’s the exact same scar on the exact same spot.”

“I said to him, that’s what the aliens programmed us to think. But really, that’s where the chip is.”

Who would’ve guessed that the girl we described,
must’ve stopped taking what her doctor prescribed?

This is not only the kind of story that the National Enquirer used to dream about, but the first hi profile celebrity alien abduction since Anne Heche was Celestia! If you’ll recall Annie‘s space trip began innocently with automatic writing and ended in public nudity and a visit from the police! As for Fran’s, her PR rep is still at a loss for words, and probably working on a letter of resignation!

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Anne Hathaway has a MK Ultra Episode!

Anne is not awake and not aware of the trip!

When Anne Hathaway started rapping on Conan O Brien recently many viewers asked themselves, and each other “What the fuck is wrong with her?” We expect this sort of thing from Joaquin Phoenix, or even Charlie Sheen. Anne seemed too down to earth and together for publicly flip out. Yet she had a fit of bizarre behavior on late night television. The reason for this is that, sadly, Anne is a very sick young lady.

What the fuck is wrong with Anne goes back to a top secret government project that began shortly after World War 2 called MK Ultra. After the war dozens of Nazi scientists were brought to America under the controversial Project Paperclip. Some of these people were legitimate scientists, like Werner von Braun, who helped the USA prepared for eventual alien invasion. Many were mad misfit scientists and anti social nuisances. Their only specialty was brain washing and mind control, which they had developed as a means of seducing women.

Normally there would’ve been no use for these nuts in a sane society. However the cold war was just heating up. That meant society was getting less sane. The CIA figured that these dangerous nuts and their brainwashing might somehow possibly come in handy. So they took these renegade Nazis under their wing, gave them new identities and secret laboratories, then funded them for all sorts of bizarre experiments in mind control. They worked on everything from reverse intoxication to convincing cocktail waitresses that they were giant bunnies!

During the course of their research, these scientists discovered that normal people could be programmed for almost anything through a combination of drugs, nursery rhymes, and mind bending programming. For instance an average house wife given large doses of hallucinogens while repeating “hickory dickory dock” and writing the Gettysburg Address backwards, could eventually be trained to strip down and reassemble and automatic riffle upon hearing a trigger phrase. Even if she normally couldn’t boil a 3 minute egg! (In fact many housewives lost the ability to boil eggs after participating in government experiments – though they did become whizzes with fire arms! Some also forgot how to do up bras, and mistaking them for military incendiaries, & began burning them. Addled by their intelligence brainwashing they believed they were armed with bra bombs – code named “booby traps” – and fighting in a liberation war that had been originally planned for Cuba back in the John F Kennedy administration.)

The tactical advantages of unleashing a herd of crazy brain addled housewives on a nation’s enemies is obvious! However MK Ultra mind programming had some side effects. For instance subjects’ minds started developing split personalities. In some cases test subjects developed hundreds of split personalities, or “alters”. If the programming was taken too far it might drive subjects completely batty, and make them unpredictable. The same advanced mind control techniques that could teach an ordinary house wife to assemble an assault rifle and forget how to boil an egg, might cause a burly green beret to don a frilly dress and start singing “I’m a lumber jack and I’m ok”. A battalion of harden soldiers upon hearing their trigger phrase might suddenly drop their arms and turn Klinger in the face of the enemy. So the MK Ultra project got sidelined.

MK Ultra was sidelined but not dropped. A special genius think tank at the Rand Corp – which is not actually a corporation, no more than the Federal Reserve is a part of the government – believed that other uses could be made of it. They felt that mind control might have some cultural usages. The idea being that if a nation’s celebrities could be mind controlled then they could be used to support government agendas, or at least the economy by being obedient product spokespersons. To that end they sponsored Illuminati shill Dr Timothy Leary to develop LSD. They then fed it to the Beatles, aster first luring them on to the Ed Sullivan Show. When Rand and the CIA successfully created the counter culture, they new the experiment was a success!

Over the years more and more celebrities have been enrolled into MK Ultra, under Project Monarch and Bluebird. This was done by making many designers drugs available to Hollywood party animals. Celebs were also encouraged to take analysis therapy and personal growth courses at sites such as the Esalon Institute, for further advanced programming. Celebs were indoctrinated into New Age thinking with it’s political overtones, and to promote these ideas to the public. Though the celebs became popular and successful spokespersons, many did go mad as hatters!

Not only did many celebrities go mad, but they also developed the trade mark Monarch Programming multiple personality disorder. At the outset a celebrity victim of government starwhackers might start acting mildly retarded. Then they might become unsure of who they are. A sign of this is when an actor begins saying that they don’t know where their images ends and they being, or that their fans don’t really know them.

This can progress into full blown MPD. The celeb victim will actually begin to believe that they are other people, in addition to themselves. At first this was covered up with the same new age beliefs the celebs were spouting. When Shirley Maclaine’s mind shattered into dozens of multiple personalities the public was told that Shirley had ‘gone religious’ and these were her “previous incarnations”. After repeated massive doses of LSD and some working over with an electric cattle prod Shirley was eventually persuaded to play along with the story, and to assemble an automatic assault riffle in 30 secs. She still has trouble boiling eggs.

More recent cases have been harder to cover. When Garth Brookes alter Chris Gaines emerged his handlers were unsure what to do with him. Fortunately his career was nearly over by then, so it wasn’t an issue. More cases would arise. When Anne Heche claimed she was an alien called Celestia who could bring love to planet Earth through public nudity, the usual scape goat of “drugs” was blamed, instead of the severe government brain washing she had been subjected to under the guise of psycho analysis. By the time Beyonce became Sasha Fierce – an alter with advanced infiltration & combat training following a Tank Girl script – people assumed celebrities were basically nuts. So no one paid attention. Incidentally some professional therapists have tried offering ‘celebrity deprogramming’ but there was a surprising lack of demand for their services! Their few clients were former child stars and looking for ‘celebrity reprogramming’.

That brings us to the ordinarily mild mannered and down to earth Anne Hathaway. Anne was originally programmed by the government to infiltrate hip hop as a rapper groupie. So she got the full programming treatment: she was given massive doses of mescaline and ecstasy while being forced to make up rhymes to random phrases while holding a handful of marbles in her mouth. If she failed to make the rhyme poor Anne was shocked with the MK Ultra teaching tool of choice – an electric cattle prod.

Fortunately for Anne the Illuminati found other uses for her. She proved to be a pretty good actress so she got cast in a number of films with mildly brain washing related themes, like Ella Enchanted and The Devil Wears Prada. However some of the side effects from her original brainwashing persists. For instance Anne loves out law men. Her first boyfriend was the guy who cheated the Pope. He’s now finishing up a 3 year federal jail sentence. Her current boyfriend was accused of ripping of a $15 000 painting after a business dispute with a NYC restauranteur. She should know better but Annie repeats her mistakes because she just can’t help it!

Another side effect is that Anne will occasionally break out into rap. No one can be quite sure when this will happen, but the combination of bright lights and a small electrical shock, like carpet static, combined with a trigger phrase, might do it. Her recent out burst might have been a “MK Ultra” episode, and set off by Conan saying something as innocent as “yo mama”, “ho”, “jack dat shit, bitch”, or even “booty!” If Anne had received a mild carpet shock at the time, then the combo of electricity, trigger phrase, and bright studio lighting might have set her off. At that point Anne was no longer Anne. Her dormant gansta girl alter would’ve taken over.

Incidentally this is also why Anne has that problem with occasionally hitting people – like that stunt man on the Batman movie, or Kate Hudson on The Bride Wars. To make her cover authentic Anne was also programmed with advanced street fighting techniques. Advanced means that she can rip you a new corn shoot! So if she’s in gansta mode and she gets dissed, she can switch from busting a rhyme to busting a head! Anne’s Conan performance might have been a bit startling, but it could’ve been worse. Conan may never know how close he came to a low down, down town beat down at the hands of “Smack Ass Annie H”aka “Queen Katt“!

PS The intro pic showed the three stages of truth. Of course they forgot the forth stage – where truth become orthodoxy and then is enforced by law on everyone else. There’s no point in restating the obvious – except for humorous effect that is! Sorry Charlie – throwing garbage is not a compliment, only a vindication!


Curious George & Dimpled Chad

the President is still allegedly American
conspiracy theories and the “other” Mrs. Obama

President Barack Obama has been getting some grief from conspiracy theorists since he was elected. The most notable theory but by no means the only one is that Barack Obama was born in Kenya, and so is ineligible to be President based on not being native born. It’s not the only one. Other theories say that Obama is a Muslim, and atheist, a socialist, and a Vulcan from Krypton. One theory even purports that Obama is not actually black – but an attractive white woman who began impersonating a black man when she first decided to position herself for the presidency. The idea was that since Hillary Clinton had the chick vote sown up, an another angle was needed. While that is an intriguing theory, I think that it was probably dreamed up by someone who watched White Chicks too often while stoned.

A good offensive defense

The sad thing is that the President, if I may call her that, has felt the need to start addressing this issues; which by her own words are unworthy of comment. Barack Obama, with Michelle at his side, appeared on Oprah a little while ago to assure the American People that he is in fact an American, and that Donald Trump was no better than reality TV’s version of a carnival barker. Though Donald was much gratified by the mention.

I can’t tell the difference – these faked alien birth certificates are just as good as our real earth ones!

Though Oprah never once doubted him, I guess he felt that others needed reassurance. Not everyone is a graduate in The Course in Miracles, like Oprah; so their faith might need support. Just like the Apostles on the Sea of Galilee. To that end Obama also produced evidence of himself – not in the form of bread and fishes, but in the form of a Hawaiian birth certificate dated Aug 5 1961. Not that any one believed it. It was quickly picked apart on the Internet where some of the more committed among the lunatic fringe quickly analysed it for evidence of improper extra terrestrial tamper. Of course the birth Certificate came out clean. Since the aliens are years ahead of the human race technologically (they only lag behind us in bloody mindedness, which built this planet; and along with our atmosphere is our best defence against space invaders) this doesn’t prove anything. Maybe we just aren’t advanced enough to detect the signs of their technological interference in much the way that we’re still trying to decipher the hidden meaning of crop circles using the Enigma Code, with pi as a key (Steven Spielberg did suggest that they use music as a possible basis for decoding “Just like my ET!”, but the scientific community didn’t take him too seriously. The idea would’ve had more credibility coming from former physicist James Avatar Cameron).

Coming Soon

The probably with going on the defensive that way is that you never know when to stop until you’ve past the point of no return. In public figures that can be bad. Tom Cruise was off the couch and on the way home without realizing the damage he’d done to his image on Oprah (Some one should’ve got the President to watch that episode when he decided that appearing on Oprah would clear things up). First Obama’s showing his birth certificate, next he’s peeing in a cup on Livestream – like Charlie Sheen. What would come next? Perhaps some lively Sheen’s Korner type channel on youtube, featuring the President directly addressing the American People with frequent updates on his personal life. Since his personal life is no where near as colourful as Charlie’s he should skip that. The closest thing he has to a goddess is wife Michelle and she’s been camera shy ever since she got shit for touching the Queen. “Come here and say ‘hi’ Michelle.” “Barry no.” “Oh go, on we’re on youtube!” Of course if the Pres starts addressing the Vulcan Muslim atheist issue, or pulling down his pants to prove that he is in fact a man then we’ll know that he’s gone too far; though become way more interesting!

The Nobel Award for outstanding motion picture achievement in sanctimonious high mindedness!

In this one thing at least Obama would’ve done well to have taken a page from the Book of Bush. If you’ll recall Bush was never supposed to be President either – but you didn’t hear him defending himself. He was never supposed to be pres because he stole the election – allegedly. It happened down in the state of Florida where George stole about 300 votes from Al Gore (the democratic Party’s Dan Quayle and way too interested in rain forest frogs to be relevant to tax payers, though the Motion Picture Academy and the Nobel Prize Committee liked him well enough – give those two esteemed bodies something in common!), and he did it with the help of some one called Dimpled Chad.

the Ballad of Dimpled Chad

Now I’m not sure who Dimpled Chad is, but I gather that he’s a kind of gay G Gordon Liddy. His secret identity as a gay adult film star made him a highly valuable CIA asset (like John Erik Hexum on Cover Up!). It may have been in his capacity as a spy, and not as a gay porn star, that he first got in touch with the Bush clan. Although there are those who say that he first ran into Bush family members at Bohemian Grove, during one of that club’s “no girls allowed” annual naked wing dings. The Bush Family quickly found him handy for dirty work of various kinds, and Dimpled Chad found himself on the way up in the world. However after the Florida Election Caper he found himself in too compromising a position. As daytime talk show hosts clamoured to get a piece of him, he disappeared into obscurity before he had fully emerged from it.

Bush whacked!

No one is quite sure what ever happened to Dimpled Chad. Some say that he had become too dangerous. George had him whisked away to CIA HQ for some Stan Smith American Dad style brainwashing/reprogramming. That didn’t work out and Chad had to be hospitalized long term after cracking up and starting to go “Andrew Cunanin”. Others say that George had him sold to Indonesia organized crime, as a horse collared gay sex slave. Others say that he was reprogrammed with top secret technology and is now a straight Mormon elder with no recollection of his previous life (except for that brief flicker he gets every time some well established Mormon says he’s seen him some where before, “on TV or something right?”). Still others say that Bush just had him whacked!

Deep dimpled cover

Now I’ve heard that the actual story is that Bush didn’t have him whacked – for old times sake. Though it would’ve been safer to whack him Bush retained a soft spot for the sexy young man who helped him rig an election and become both the most powerful & the most dangerous man on planet earth! Besides, sine Chad was instrumental in setting in motion a course of events that lead to the execution of Saddam Hussein, or at least a buck toothed imposture in the place of Hussein, the world owned Chad. So he had him spirited out of the country. No one is sure where Chad went. Some say South America, while others swear he’s on the Mediterranean. The stories do agree that he’s kept in grand style. George set him up with a Villa and a checking account courtesy of the American Taxpayer (and there by finding more worthwhile usages for the funds than saving rain forest frogs!).

A loose lipped old dumpling

Chad has been warned to keep his mouth shut about who he is and what he knows. If he talks too much then he could wind up as an anonymous gay male Marilyn Munroe! Since all he’s material needs are more than adequately met there’s really no reason for him to show his face. As long as he’s smart he can go on living like gay royalty! Yet having started life as a young up and comer Chad can’t help letting the story slip from time to time. That’s allegedly how the rumour has started coming to light. Chad knows he shouldn’t repeat this stuff but he likes the attention! Attention is harder to come by these days too, now that he’s been sequester from the rest of the world, and made so fat and complacent that he’s more Dumpy Chad than dimpled. The loose talk could be embarrassing, but even when it does get back to Big George, he refuses to do anything about it, except cut him another check. So the moral of the story is that if George W can overlook all that, then Barack Obama really shouldn’t feel any need to defend himself on the birth certificate issue, let alone the whole transvestite communist Vulcan Muslim thing! Although if he wants to it would make for some fantastic gossip!


Murphy’s Law: What ever happened to Jim Corr

goosing loose ends

Back in the early 90’s the Irish pop group the Corrs picked up a whole lot of international attention with their smooth light pop stylistics. The group had some real success and then went their separate ways. The sisters went on to marry and quarrel amongst themselves. That left brother Jim at loose ends. Now it is sort of an unwritten law of the universe that when some one is at loose ends something is gonna come along to fill that void. In Jim’s case it’s an avid and active interest in conspiracy theories.

It’s life Jim, but not as we know it

What sort of theories is Jim interested in? Well you know the usual stuff – the Royal Family are shape shifting reptilians, air port security is a plot to render the American male impotent, the financial crash was engineered by the Rothschilds, and oh yeah – 911 was an inside job. Here’s a little video that just recently surfaced on the Irish Central website. It features Jim defending his beliefs against some glibly dismissive assholes.

Now I know that looks bad but wait – it gets worse (getting worse is an inviolable law of the universe. Cynics call it “Murphy’s Law” but physicists know it better as the 2nd law of thermodynamics. IN practical terms it means that things fall apart because it’s thte tendency of things to do so.). Jim had this to say about the usual suspects and the usual subjects.


Saying that Jim finally found a way to take the attention away from his beautiful sisters would be cheap shot – so naturally most people are gonna do that. I feel that Jim isn’t really to blame for whatever ideas have found their way into his head. I think that the blame goes directly to George W Bush. I mean his two term presidency was an unmitigated disaster; that saw the tide run out on the USA, and inflamed the market for conspiracies theories to the point that Alex Jones reputedly has a small shrine dedicated to W in his home and makes daily thanks offering to it.

The Menacing Idiot: Presitard

So that had people who’s brains weren’t completely numbed with denial asking “what the fuck actually happened in the past 8 years?” It’s a fair question. During the Bill Clinton Era America ruled the roost. When the President said “jump” foreign leaders said “how high?” (nowadays they simply guide the President to the nearest ledge and say “you first“). The economy was in overdrive to the point that any Forrest Gump type numskull could make it rich if he wasn’t too honest and knew how to bend the rules. Now middle class Americans have to ask for govt stimulus packages so that they can avoid the indignity of buying smaller cars and flipping burgers to make ends meet.

Who spiked the Punch? Optimism is seeing the glass as half full; paranoia is asking what it’s full of!

So what went wrong? The inevitable conclusion seems to be, as usual with pro politicians, that Bush was either dishonest or incompetent. Jim Corr has given W the benefit of the doubt and decided he’s dishonest, rather than a fucking moron. While that may be the flaw in his conspiracy theory, you do have to empathize. The alternative is that a majority of the American public voted a moron into the Presidency – for a second term if not a first. That would be enough to undermine a sensible person’s faith in human nature ( a really sensible person has already lost that). So you can’t blame Jim for wanting to give just plain people, as well as W, the benefit of the doubt. Jim CorrI salute your crazy optimism!


Andrew Cunanan was a mafia patsy!

some days

July 17, 1997 started out a good day for fashion king pin Gianni Versace. His ear cancer was in remission and his latest AIDS test was negative. However life was to go from good to bad to dead quick enough. As Versace opened the gates to his Miami spread he was shot from behind in the head and neck. Witnesses on the scene found the designer lying in a pool of his own blood with his face blown off. A dead pigeon was near by, and a well known young man was spotted fleeing the scene.

“I’m so mad I could go on a 5 state killing spree!”
~Cunanan’s favorite expression when mad

The young man was infamous serial killer Andrew Cunanan. Cunanan was a bright and ambitious young man who chose the life of a gay escort as a short cut to the top. By servicing the rich, famous, and gay he got admission to a world it might ordinarily have taken him years if not decades to get to on his own merits (Cunanan was a border line genius with a 149 IQ – so he probably might have got there on his merits eventually). So Mr Cunanan was often scene in the comapny of wealthy older business and political types. Some where along the way the life of wine and roses went off the rails, and when the world learned of Cunanan he’d ‘gone ballistic’ and was wanted for the deaths of 4 men. This was prior to the Versace killing – by the time Versace was killed the public had already been asking “who’s next?’

Miami Vice

No one is sure what Cunanan’s motive for killing Versace might have been, except that the two vaguely knew each other. They’d attended some of the same parties together – Versace was well known around the Miami hot spots and used to solicit companions for the evening by going into gay strip clubs and learning at the dancers. When they turned up their noses at the older man, he’d point at himself and mouth “Versace“. After that they’d line up and Gianni could have his pick!

the day the shit hit the fan

As said Versace and Cunanan seemed to have known each other in some way. So the working theory is that when the shit hit the fan Cunanan went in search of some one to help him, like Versace. Versace had a boat and tons of bucks so he was the go to guy if you needed to get out of the country quick. Now folk think that Versace told Cunanan to fuck the hell off when asked for help. That set Cunanan off his pretty little head and provoked another killing, followed by Cunanan’s suicide. Though most folk belive that, some others think different.

that’s a morte

Others in this case is Italian journalist Gialuigi Nuzzi. He’s the author of a new book on the infamous Versace killing, and has pointed out that there were some irregularities in the case. Like that dead pigeon. A dead pigeon left at the scene of a day time killing, according to Nuzzi, is the traditional calling card of the Mafia. in fact it’s where we get the phrase “stool pigeon” from. So the dead pigeon would seem to poitn to some one other than Cunanan as the killer.

low friends in high places

Now Nuzzi should know a thing or two about the mafia ’cause he’s got plenty of friends in the business. Friends like Giuseppe Di Bella. Di Bella is a sort of godfather figure in the Italian mob with a reputation for veracity with the authorities. In fact Italian coppers say that he ain’t steered ’em wrong yet! Di Bella’s says that Versace got mixed up with a bad guy named Franco Coco Trovato. Trovato’s bag was laundering money for South American drug lords. He’d take a trip down south, pick up some cash, find a semi legitimate business to invest in, then leave said business a piece of the action before spreading the wealth around.

strange bedfellows

According to Di Bella that’s how Trovato knew Versace. Versace was, allegedly, a business associate of Trovato. That association is said to include pumping money into Versace’s business for laundering and eventual return to South America. The fashion industry would come in handy for a South American connection. Now things went wrong, according to informant Di Bella, and corroborated by another mobster – Filippo Barecca -when Versace started skimming. Since Trovato had some very ruthless dudes to answer to, that could be tolerated. So shit happened. The dead pigeon was just the mob’s way of confirming that the job had been done!

vulgar favors

Di Bella insists that Trovato knew Versace well. Trovato was a fashion freak and loved to show off his Versace originals – gifts that had been signed by the man himself. Di Bella also goes on to claim that this arrangement went as far back as 1983-84, when the pair would take vacations,or business trips, together to such exotic locales as Majorca and Brazil! Di Bella also gives Versace the benefit opf the doubt, claiming that the designer may not have realized trovato was amob boss, and so didn’t know where the money came from. Versace may merely have got cute with the wrong guy.

Blood & money down at the bookstore!

In an interesting side note the boat where Cunanan was found dead – allegedly suicide – was owned by a mafioso. Now the authorities didn’t make too much out of that. They had their man, who was dead – so they didn’t even have to go to the trouble & expense of a trial. That’s a big incentive to close the case without asking too many awkward questions. However Nuzzi goes on to hint in his book that Cunanan was set up by the mob as a fall guy, to take the blame for the killing. Nuzzi’s book is called Metastasi, A Chronicle of Blood & Money. That book deals with the Calabrian gang known as N’drangheta – in which Versace allegedly some how got himself mixed up with. For the record Versace’s surviving kin Donatella and Santo vehemently deny this. They even went to court in Sydney, Australia to have a similar book – The Spying Game by Frank Monte – banned. They won that case so who knows how much there is to this beyond a good story. However Nuzzi’s book hasn’t been banned so you should be able to get your hands on it and decide for yourself!

Wondertrash: America’s Most Wanted!


Lucky Stiffs

Fame is like being the stiff at your own funeral

Remember when Randy & Evi Quaid went off their heads and sought refugee status in Vancouver? They claimed that organized bands of “starwhackers” were targeting the rich and famous, like themselves, for death. The motive was money. The Quaids maintained that with unpredictable and flighty stars out the way, unprincipled business types in three piece suits could gain control of their royalty streams in perpetuity. They could then cash in! Naturally everyone laughed. Sensible folk assumed that the Quaids had gone off their flighty little Hollywood heads, perhaps with the help of crack, meth, or some other substance that required a stint in Dr Drew’s Celebrity Rehab!

Now there is some validation for the Quaids flaky theories. In a story unrelated to the Quaids, 60 Minutes recently covered the new phenomenon of dead earners. A dead earners is a dead celebrity, or “delebrity” as their handlers call them, who continues to make a mint even after passing from this veil of tears.This was made possible by some innovations in law that allow the celebs’ estates to continue marketing the celebrities’ images even after the celebrities themselves have parted company with them. Before that once a famous person died their image, likeness, voice, etc were up for grabs. Any shrewd marketer could stick James Dean or John Wayne on a T shirt or lunch box and cash in to their hearts content. Once the law got changed the estate could put the image etc to work earning money for an indefinite future in a kind of postmortem indentured servitude. To think that they laughed when Scientology offered adherents billion year contracts. Those billion year contracts proved to be decades ahead of their time!

Now milking dead celebs of their residual fame has become a lucrative and even multi billion dollar business on par with developing social networks for the Internet. The agent interviewed in 60 Minutes brags representation of some 250 show business and sports figures the majority of whom lost their vital signs many years back – celebs like Marilyn Munroe, James Dean, Elvis Presley, and the mother of all lucky stiffs Albert Einstein! That has made him, his colleagues in the deleb business, and the estates of the dearly departed wealthy beyond the dreams of avarice! How wealthy you might ask? Well as an indication Michael Jackson earned more last years than her highness Oprah Winfrey!

Jackson has had a real career resurgence since dying. While he lived the poor man was dogged day and night by pedophilia rumours. Nor was that the only image damage he had incurred. He was easy tabloid fodder as stories emerged of him hanging around Bahrain dressed as a Muslim woman, and their were frequent references to the poor man’s freaky plastic surgery. It was believed that he’d had skin bleaching to deblack himself, and that he’d lost his original nose some where long the way. The nose was believed to have been replaced with a paraffin prosthesis which was uncomfortable and could start to melt at high temperatures. So Jackson began leaving the schnoz at home and wore a surgical mask on his infrequent but hi profile jaunts out into the real world. That sort of alleged behavior earned him the moniker of Whacko Jacko and made him unmarketable. His last live venture was a series of performances in London which bombed hard. At the time of his death the Prince of Pop was in debt bad.

Once he died everything changed. Whacko Jacko wasn’t about to mess anything up anymore. So his image was due for some rehabilitation. The Jackson 3 where trotted out at the memorial to proclaim that Jackson was the best dad ever. That kind of killed the pedo stories. Also Jacko got a promotion from Prince of Pop to King – just like his late but still lucrative father in law. A few weepy testimonials from ex wife Lisa Marie Presley and the deal was sealed. Jackson was cleaning up with a vengeance! No one is quite sure where the money is going since the Jackson clan, including his beloved mother, claim that they haven’t seen one thin dime out of the estate handlers. Yet no less an authority than Forbes Magazine declared him the top earner of the year.

So with all these death benefits racking up that brings us back to the Quaids. The whole dead earners angle seems to add even more validity to their flaky story. That validity comes in the form of one of the strongest principles of the lot – quo bono. Quo bono is a fancy Latin legal way of saying “who benefits?“, and in effect means that when there’s a ton of loot to be made there will be some pretty unprincipled operators maneuvering around like sharks on chum to take advantage of the wind fall. If that sounds pretty far fetched then remember that the more decimal points you add behind the dollar sign the less far fetched the scheme seems. Besides, considering how all those corrupt wall street bakers carried on, would you put anything past an executroid in a suit? Now here’s that 60 Minutes piece that puts it in perspective with a lucidity and relevance that Gary the Spaceman Bell might envy!

That was unintentionally convincing wasn’t it? In fact it might have some of the more conspiratorial minded among you asking “who’s next?” It’s very doubtful that there will be any kind of organized mass cull of celebrities though. Business doesn’t work that way, only power politics. It’s probably closer to the truth that Mark Zuckerberg, in collaboration with Bill Gates and the Rand Corporation are even now developing complicated ‘personality simulator‘ algorithms for computers. That way the current crop of delebrities can be made to do even more with out the need to add to their ranks. They would continue to annoy and irritate ordinary people much the way hologramatic prat Arnold Rimmer did with average guy Dave Lister on Brit com space parody Red Dwarf.

Lively lately – Making the transition to suspended animation

So Walter Cronkite might come back to host the CBS News again, should Katie Couric finally be encouraged to leave. Or Johnny Carson could be conjured up and help NBC with the Leno problem. Since their response parameters would be programed in to some control program; they would make the same remarks, tell the same jokes, and use the same stock phrases as when they were alive. In fact even careful observers wouldn’t be able to tell the difference from the hologramtic delebrity’s performance, and their rote routines performed back in life. That is unless some hot shot programmer tweaks the algorithms for charisma, intelligence, emotion, or independent thought. Then the jig would be up when viewers began noticing that their favorite entertainment personalities seemed to lively lately! Let’s face it, 80% of popular entertainment is the art of repetitiveness.

Speaking of freaky conspiracies here’s the latest full broadcast of Gary Bell & the View From Space!
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