Heidi Klum Eats A Banana

English: Heidi Klum modeling at The Heart Trut...

What attracts almost as much attention as Shia Labouef with a paper bag over his head? Heidi Klum eat

ing a banana in public. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Models need to eat more and it’s nice to see them setting a good example that way. Plus bananas are a source of potassium and other essential nutrients. It’s just that for some reason those things have a slightly unwholesome reputation. Not that you should let a slightly unsavory reputation stop you from enjoying yourself so go on Heidi and wrap your lips around it!

wondertrash
Enhanced by Zemanta
Advertisements

A Rogue’s Gallery of Insane Celebrity That Would Creep Out Batman!

Raging Bull

Robert DeNiro probably does A better job endorsing products in Japanese commercials than he does introducing speakers at political events. That’s because he made an off colour comment at a recent Democratic Party fundraiser. The event was on Monday in New York and bobby had to introduce Michelle Obama. Bugsy Bobby managed to piss off everyone by quipping “Callista Gingrich, Karen Santorum, Ann Romney. Now do you really think our country is ready for a white first lady?” De Niro said. “Too soon, right?” That went over about as well as when Alex Jones said that juice boxes make you gay – first they give men breast & then they give them breast cancer!

When I say he pissed off everyone I mean that of course the usual suspects were offended. Like those touchy Republicans. Newt Gingrich called the remarks inexcusable and divisive. If anyone knows about inexcusable and divisive it’s Gingrich. Only Rush Limbaugh knows more. However they weren’t the only ones who were peeved. DeNiro also earned himself an official reprimand from the First Lady’s office, who described the comments as “inappropriate”.

Now granted no one likes those pack of Stepford Drones backing the Republican Primary Candidates. They come off like they might’ve been cloned from Tipper Gore’s fingernail scrapping. That doesn’t mean that you can go around shooting from the lip like you’re no better than some blogger! That’s why Bobby Boy had to respond to that official reprimand with an official apology. Bob said – “My remarks, although spoken with satirical jest, were not meant to offend or embarrass anyone — especially the first lady.” Satirical jest requires both wit and discretion – unless you’re on the Internet. So you can’t just go around saying obnoxious shit that will upset people who might find it offensive. However I personally blame Sarah Palin! Politics has brought out the malicious petty worst in everyone every since that dumb hair sprayed half baked Alaskan bitch got dragged into the mix!

Rhianna – Sarah Palin of pop music?

Now before I work on my official apology to Ms. Palin, here’s some more mild offensive celebrity shenanigans. Who could be more mildly offensive these days than Rhianna? She was always a little bit irritating but these days people are getting fed up fast with the broad. That’s cause she’s gone back with her abusive ex Chris Brown in spite of all the sympathy and support that got tossed her way. She guested on one of Chris’s recent tracks, called him the best R&B artist out there in a recent interview, and has been playig Twitter tag with Chris and his current girl friend K-Tran, whom Rhianna refers to as “rice cakes”! It’s like she made suckers of everyone by being determined to make a fool of herself. Of course she’s Rhianna so she can get away with that.

So while Rhianna is laying down ultimatums to Chris to drop Ms Tran or lose her forever, the rest of humanity is getting more impatient with her by the minute. Humanity like Gene Simmons. Gene Simmons is the guy with the tongue who used to front KISS and then went with Playboy bunny Shannon Tweed and then on to reality TV! So in his mind that gives him rock’n’roll street cred. So he’s in a position to go heaving shit and people he thinks of as no more than fucking no talent phonies. People like Rhianna for instance. GS recently said “We’re sick and tired of girls getting up there with dancers and karaoke tapes in back of them,” Simmons told the crowd at the press conference, reports Billboard.com. “No fake bull***t. Leave that to the Rihanna, Shmianna and anyone who ends their name with an ‘A.’

Of course Geno has a big tour coming up so he needs to say shit to get attention to hype the tour and nothing gets attention like slagging on some one who’s public image is jumping the shark. GS ain’t alone in his opinions though. Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee seconded that opinion by saying “No disrespect to Rihanna, she’s a great singer, but we’re in a slump for some s**t that has some personality and appeal beyond a bunch of pop stuff that’s floating around out there,” he told Billboard.com. “I’m glad he said that actually because I don’t think I can bear watching another f**king award show that is just a little bit better than ‘American Idol.’ It’s f**king pathetic to watch people go out and f**king karaoke with a bunch of lights and video. It’s all completely watered down.” Tommy Lee has tattoos and married Pamela Anderson a couple of times so he has at least as much rock’n’roll cred as Gene – although where were either of them at Live Aid? Motley Crue is also on the same tour with KISS so T Boner has got as much incentive for making inflammatory public remarks as Simmons! So we’re all agreed – Rhianna is a dumb bitch without enough sense to get in out of the rain!

Rhianna & the Kutchie Boy

One person who still likes Rhianna is Ashton Kutcher. Until recently the Kutch had been married to Demi Moore. They’d been together for about 10 years and ever since he played a teenager on That Seventies Show. They called it a seventies show but there never was a single reference to the Fonz or Happy Days so it lacked creditability. Back in the 70’s people who’d never heard of the Beatles knew about the Fonz! So the show completely lacked credibility. Then again Kutch was a 20 something playing a teenager – like John Vinnie Barbarino Travolta on Welcome Back Kotter, so credibility wasn’t the issue. So he was all set for his Demi Moore marriage.

Demi & the Kutch (now that sounds like a late 70’s sitcom!) went the separate ways in a highly publicized bust up several moths ago that left Demi hospitalized and eventually in rehab. She’d become a separate desperate housewife. Kutchie Baby started making up for lost time with a bevy of young beauties. Then he replaced Charlie Sheen in 2 1/2 Men. So a lot of things weren’t working out for him lately. So it should be no surprise that he’s wandered into Rhianna sphere of influence.

Actually it was Rhianna’s sphere of influence that wandered into Kutcher. In the wee hours of Mar 21 Rhianna and her personal SWAT team of security persons were seen arriving at Kutchie’s place. She stayed about 4 hours, and left some time around dawn. Don’t believe it? There are pictures!


No word on what got into either of them except that Rhianna – who has demanded that Chris Brown choose between her and his current girlfriend (the one who stood faithfully beside him during his darkest hours) – is losing patience with Brown. So some quality time with one of LA’s No 1 swingers might light a fire under him!

the Crazy Hour

Angelina Jolie used to be one of the most admired actresses in Hollywood but eventually managed to make it into the ranks of annoying celebrities herself. It was only a matter of time. Her mischievous right leg ain’t the only thing acting up lately either. Her kids are way out of control. At least that’s what US OK! Magazine is saying. A source has been spilling some beans and the Mag quotes them as saying that Jolie’s kids are about ready for Child Protective Services. According to the report:

“There’s not much any of us can do but sit and watch,” a friend revealed, “The kids are all goofed up on sugar, and after Shiloh has five cookies in a row and Maddox downs his third orange Fanta, it’s crazy hour. That’s what we call it: Crazy Hour. Toys fly. Kids melt down into tantrums. There’s fighting, it’s just a zoo.”

Mother Angelina has admitted in the past that sugar is the “family weakness” but it has reportedly got so bad that friends fear the children are actually addicted.
A friend said: “The kids eat fast food every day, doughnuts for breakfast. “Shiloh’s a sugar addict, screaming when she’s cut off.”

The article also accuses the Hollywood golden couple about their children’s hygiene, rarely encourage them to wash or brush their teeth.

“Angelina does not insist the kids brush every day or wash hands before meals,” the insider went on. “They bathe whenever they want, which is not often.”
Their friends have reportedly started to notice and are even telling other people that, “[Brad]his kids smell like Johnny Depp.”

The close source goes on to reveal that despite their parents’ strict humanitarian stance they have no problem with the children playing violent battles that go further than the usual chil-drens games.
“Angelina lets the boys play with guns, rifles, though they are unloaded and some are just toys. “Others are real and pricey antiques — they’re the ones the boys use to pretend kill the staff.”

Mild substance addiction, violent outbursts, and hunting the staff for sport – they sound like the Adams Family on meth! Not since the reports of Octomom’s messy family situation have I read anything so negliegent and shocking. Still there might be a reasonable explanation for this. Perhaps they Pitt-Jolie’s are prepping up for a new reality TV series! With no recent baby pics to pitch for People Magazine exclusives the couple could use a source of income. So a reality TV series hot on the heels of some over hyped wedding might rack in the bucks Sarah Palin style! Admit it – you’d watch too after hearing those hair raising reports!

Megan Fox crazy by donedone123456

wondertrash
Enhanced by Zemanta

Demi Moore Going to be in Rehab for a While

It’s been a rough time for Demi Moore. Her marriage to 70’s Show hottie Ashton Kutcher went down the tubes. So while the Kutch went off to South America and surfed in the streets Demi got herself into a damsel in distress type situation. Actually she had some drug related trouble. That lead to some tabloid headlines and time in rehab.

Reports are that Demi is doing great in rehab – it’s surprising when rehab actually works! She was in one of those places that failed Lindsay Lohan at least once, unless it was Mischa Barton, Britney Spears, or Paris Hilton, or Nicole Richie or one of the oodles of other celebs who had to do some sober time. It’s getting hard to keep track. Dems is back on the straight and narrow but is in no huirry to leave cause she’s serious about her sobriety. Here’s the latest update on that!
wondertrash
Enhanced by Zemanta

Heidi & Seal – tension escalating?

It’s been a mind boggling time for celebrity gossip – from Gisele Bundchen buggering the Superbowl to Demi Moore going to rehab after going to the emergency ward right up to the untimely passing of Whitney Houston. The result of the gossip overload is that Seal & Heidi Klum‘s divorce got blown straight out of the headlines and into the back pages right back there with Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry. The last time we heard anything from them Seal couldn’t get his wedding ring off because he was married to an amazing woman! Then Seal’s ex former supermodel Tatjana Patitz came out and said to Intouch that Seal ain’t the nicest guy in the world. In fact she claimed that he had anger issues and a tremendous ego. Then she went on to urge Heidi not to take him back! “There are children involved,” she warned.

The plot has thickened. It turned out that Seal may well have some issues. His relationship with wife Heidi even got “physical” at leas once. That was when he pushed her during a heated argument and had to be restrained by security. He might also be a little lacking in sensitivity to women. A female employee of his got sacked following a campaign to get her fired that seemed to have been provoked by her complaints about ‘sexual harassment’. Male crew members called her a hooker and claimed she slept with the boss. When she brought this to Seal’s attention he laughed it off. Seal even has a slightly criminal past – he used to deal pot and ‘advertise’ for hookers back in London (he posted their phone numbers in phone booths – no arrests).

Now there are reports that Heidi is ready to take the separation to the next level – by taking the kids. Reports have her ready to ditch the Brentwood pad shared with Seal and head back to New York. She was apparently blindsided by his ‘criminal’ past (perhaps because he wasn’t exactly in the mafia by the sounds of it, so some minor incidents might’ve been easy to miss – we’ll give Heidi a pass on this one). Seal’s ‘double life’ combined with his anger issues have lead Heidi to conclude that “his lifestyle and criminal issues don’t provide a ‘conductive environment’ for their kids” (quote from from Star, print edition, February 27, 2012). Since Seal plans to keep LA as his permanent base this could gear up into one fearsome custody battle between the former ‘golden couple’. For one thing the wedding ring is off! That could mean even more ‘startling’ allegations.

Tabloid journalism is about the stars. There are different sorts of stars. Some are the kind with big plastic sun glasses and big plastic lips. Some are the kind that send visitors to trailer park denizens who claimed that they tried to pick them up for hybrid breeding with the use of a tractor beam. Needless to say that trailer park meth is a scourge to North America and a boon to the tabs. It’s an ill wind that blows no good.

Anyhow with that in mind here’s a little something on the whole UFO phenomenon – “who are they?”, “where do they come from?”, and “why do they come?”. Basically the same old questions that still remain unanswered. They remained unanswered because the egg heads, like those Big Bang Theory boys, are unable to come up with nay solutions despite their many years of avoiding social contact through science. If they can’t make contact with intelligent life in this world then how are they gonna make contact with life from beyond it? However the tabloids are unafraid to go boldly and make contact with anything and everything intelligent or otherwise. So here’s a little wondertrash contribution to the issue!

wondertrash
Enhanced by Zemanta

Breaking news from the National Enquirer


The National Enquirer is working on some wild stories if this cover preview is any indications. Front row center is Demi Moore. Now Moore got into some difficulty after her marriage to Ashton Kutcher collapsed. Her AA sponsor died about the same time so it was a real bad alignment of the planets. That lead to an EMT call, headlines about whip its, and enrollment in rehab.

Dems is currently in Cirque Lodge in Orem, Utah. That’s the place that may have failed Lindsay Lohan, or one of her contemporaries, on at least one occasion. It’s important to remember that recovery is an ongoing process – that means it’s not about results so don’t expect any. The National Enquirer is promising readers Demi’s explosive rehab diary along with references to “the baby she lost” (that’s a low blow so shame on you Enquirer), plus the booze and the drugs.

Meanwhile Bruce Willis is fighting to save the kids. The kids in this case are adults. Plus they’ve been taking care of their mother – allegedly – for the past little while, so I’m not sure how much saving they need. Seems like they’ve learned to look out for themselves. However Tallulah – who’s the sane one in the family and went off to college instead of the party circuit and tab covers – says that her mom made her life hell.

Between Demi Moore and Whitney Houston it would be tough to say who’s worse off. Once upon a time it would’ve been tough to say who was better off. While Demi was a queen of Hollywood and married to Bruce Willis Whitney was the most honored female recording artist ever. In Guinness World Records terms it puts her in the same league as the Beatles and Elvis – though in the ladies league. She was such a big deal that back in 2001 Arista made her a big deal – $100 million for 6 new albums. They should’ve saved their money because Whitney doesn’t have it anymore for one thing.

As covered in yesterday’s post Whits is at wit’s end. She was seen out and about at some party totally wasted, bumming $100 bucks from some friend, and leaving the scene of the crime scratched and a little bloody. So people are asking “how bad is it?” According to the National Enquirer it’s worse than you think. For one thing she’s flat broke! Considering the amount of money she made in her career that’s astonishing. Now hot on the heels of her recent night out blow out comes reports by way of the NE cover that Whitney has collapsed. They say they’ve got shocking photos! Hope that they’re not as shocking as the recent Macaulay Culkin photos that made the rounds recently.

Speaking of shocking the last time that the National Enquirer used that word in a headline it involved Newt Gingrich. He and his wife were involved in some kind of lesbian shocker. Hopefully it’s nothing involving irate Prop 8’s, pink pistols, and fully charged tasers. You can set your tasers to stunned again this week as the NE continues on the political theme. This time it’s Mitt Romney. The Enquirer claims that there’s some kind of cheating scandal involving his wife! Now they don’t say whether she’s cheating, been cheated on, or there are some kind of unfounded accusations. Leaving something to the imagination encourages you to go out and buy the magazine. They do say that he’s hiding something from America, and I assume they mean more than his Magic Mormon Underwear!

Finally there’s the Will Smith divorce headline. Apparently there’s mystery beauty caught in the middle. There’s a further salacious little hint – she’s very close to Jada! I’m not sure if this means that they’re gonna form a hunting party, track down Newt Gingrich and his wife, then shock them with fully charged tasers or not. You can infer what you like. That’s the gossip game.

The National Enquirer is a serious a magazine. They were nominated for a Pulitzer Prize (the nominated themselves but that’s allowed and a very NE way of getting credibility – so give them credit for being true to themselves). That means there’s more to the story than splashy covers with lurid headlines and shocking photos. There’s also some meat on the bones. In this case the meat is between the sheets in the form of some ground breaking journalism that they’re working on. Groundbreaking means shit like this:

Jailbird O.J. Simpson has gone ballistic over losing his south Florida home and is blaming his older daughter Arnelle for squandering his $30,000 a month pension money. He was so angry that he told Arnelle, the favorite of his four kids “If I could get my hands you right now I’d break your neck.” No one likes to heart hat kind of talk coming from the Juice. With other dads it’s a figure of speech but in his cae no one’s sure how literally to take him.

The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively that one of the desperate women from ‘The Bachelor‘ has trapped this season’s hunk, Ben Flajnik, with a pregnancy scam! We will reveal which lady has stooped to a new low and snagged the bachelor with her tears and pregnancy test. If only X Factor could come up with that kind of shit then Simon Cowell might have those 20 million viewers he wanted.

wondertrash
Enhanced by Zemanta

Coming Soon from the National Enquirer


Has Angelina Jolie finally gone too far?

Next week’s National Enquirer promises to be a wild ride if the promo is any indication. For one thing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the verge of divorce again. It seems like they’ve been on the verge of marriage and divorce for years now – basically ever since Angie ripped poor Jennifer Aniston‘s heart out and ruined her life. That left Poor Jen with nothing but her A List movie career to fall back on. However this time NE up’s the ante by claiming that Angie has confessed to cheating, and to hotel room hook ups. Thgis lead to a marriage counseling break down. Oh yeah and Angie also supposedly physically threatened Jen according to the cover.

Kardashians continue to make marriage a reality TV tabloid travesty?

Now it that wasn’t enough to whet your appetite there’s more trouble for the Kardashians. Apparently Mother Kris Kardashian Jenner’s marriage is destroyed by some kind of cheating scandal. Apparently some kind of afffair has been exposed! Those Kardashian women are either gonna have to stay out of divorce court or stop getting married of they want to stop provoking the public, ’cause their sleazy shenanigans are just getting obnoxious!

Is Gayle King an extraterrestrial transsexual? If she were do you think she’d admit it?

In other news the real Gayle King is exposed. Now for those hoping it might be as a terrorist, transsexual, or an extra terrestrial I’ve got bad news. The tabs are creeping towards the very out fringes of credibility, so the days of Elvis taking UFO rides and inseminating Hilary Clinton via ray beam are lamentably long gone (except in the WeeklyWorldNews which still exists online, and where Elvis and Hilary’s love trysts with Bigfoot continue!). Apparently Gayle has used Oprah Winfrey to make millions! Now there’s now word on whether this was in some legitimate way, they way ma people given their start by Oprah have made millions – like such as Dr. Phil McGraw, or whether they’re leaving something else to be inferred. The phrase “used” is kind of loaded.

Then there’s the Newt Gingrich’s wife lesbian shocker. There’s an election coming up and since the Enquirer did so well with John Edwards – much better than John Edwards did with the Enquirer – they have to keep up the cred with some semi legit news related articles. They don’t give Pulitzer Prize nominations for horoscopes and sudokus! Now there are no clues in the cover about how they get shocked by lesbians. Perhaps were chased by those pink pistol gangs that Bill O Reilly on FOX was so concerned about several years back. BOR was afraid that the gays = perhaps finally having had enough – had taken up arms. If these same pink pistol lesbians have chased down the Gingrich’s – perhaps in outrage over some extreme right wing views, and then tasered them in to literal electric shock, then O Reilly is gonna need a pace maker! Either way the corner photo shows both Gingrichs looking shocked, or at least perturbed.

With FOX as the voice of the right, why did America turn Democrat?

That rampaging lesbian story is just the kind of stuff that needs more coverage in the media. Might have something to do with the bisphenol A laden water those metrosexuals are always drinkin’!

As for what’s behind that titillating cover, there’s a couple of doozies in the works:

Whitney Houston, desperate and broke, collapsed in a shocking public breakdown and The ENQUIRER has chilling photos that show how her last-ditch bid to stay sober is falling apart. Friends fear the long-troubled songbird is back on drugs and has hit rock bottom after losing her $100 million fortune.

and:

The lives of Demi Moore‘s daughters have been ripped apart by her drug and booze hell. Busted for underage drinking last year, Tallulah, 18, is currently in therapy and telling pals that Demi’s out-of-control behavior has turned her life into “a nightmare.” Meanwhile, Rumer, 23, who has been most supportive of Demi, is now worried that she, too, is being dragged down by her mother. Scout, 20, who’s away at college, fears that her sisters are in danger, say sources. In a revealing ENQUIRER report, insiders reveal how the girls’ dad, Bruce Willis is battling to keep the family from falling apart.

People have been very concerned about Demi Moore and her family lately. Especially since Demi and the girls seem like basically nice, likeable people with some celebrity sized problems. With Demi in rehab, Tallulah in therapy, Rumer in the tabs, that leaves Scout as the level headed one! At the rate their going they’re headed straight for reality TV. So you tell me if the NE isn’t worth it’s $5? If they can add a fab summer diet and blue dot winning lotto numbers then they can count on my business at the checkout!

By the way – Wondertrash isn’t up for any Pulitzer prizes so any kind of trash is up for posting! So here’s the Wondertrash version of Lotto Numbers That Can Help You Lose Weight! It’s called How To Get Laid In 5 Easy Steps!

Now I can’t guarantee that any of that advice will get you laid, but if it helps you win the lottery then let me know!

wondertrash
Enhanced by Zemanta

Scandal Saturday

Who let the Dogg out?

Snoop Dogg is not only out but on the grass (allegedly) in this recent youtube video (there was a little too much to be said to fit into Tweet form) where he had some wise words on the recent Kim Kardashian fiasco. Now play close attention cause you never know when this is gonna come in handy – especially if you start datin’ one of those reality TV stars.

He’s only sayin’ what everyone is thinkin’, right?

Cold blooded bitch” is a bit harsh. “A bit harsh” doesn’t make it untrue. InterestinglyKim Kardashian anagrams to I am a kind shark. With the hate fest in full swing it looks like that shark’s goose is cooked, that is unless she can find an inventive way of cashing in on all that ill will – & where there’s a will there’s away. Maybe she could appear publicly in a pillory and charge passerby’s to toss rotten fruit and vegetables at her. That is a basic motivation behind much reality type TV, which is really hi tech bear baiting minus the cruelty to animals!

Spice Girl

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32545640

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

When we last left Demi Moore she had been carted off to the emergency ward for something called whip its. Doing whip its is basically inhaling nitrous oxide to get high. People thought that this was a bit much because whip its are usually something that young people do; and Demi was expected to have the age, income, and sophistication to do better.

Then the 911 tape came out. That featured a ‘friend’ – and it’s always good to have a few in Hollywood just in case you start to code blue or something, some one who’s on the payroll but not in the will so they have an incentive to keep you breathing – saying that Demi took a bad turn after smoking something that wasn’t pot.

Current rumor is that it might have been Spice. Now Spice is a kind of herbal blend marketed as a legal marijuana substitute. Many forms are so mild that you can’t even get a decent buzz out of it. Others are sprayed with a toxic blend of designers chemicals that can leave you running to the toilet or on the way to the emergency ward fairly quickly!

Seal and Heidi are still in a crisis

With Demi Moore’s recent freak out and Fran Drescher‘s UFO abduction – she was chipped! – Seal and Heidi Klum‘s impending whatever nearly got lost in the shuffle. People were shocked at first because they always had made a big deal out of being so happy. Then people became quickly distracted. Part of the reason that folk may have got distracted was because it was no one was exactly sure what was happening. No one knew whether they were divorcing, taking a break, or reconciling.

Well here’s what we do know so far. Hedi initiated the split. Also the pair have a prenup. that comes in handy since Klum earned a healthy $70 mill. She’s got a few irons in the fire like a jewelry line and her Lifetime reality TV shows. Meanwhile Seal has a relatively paltry $15 mill.

Now it didn’t always used to be that way. When the got together back in 2005 the financial situation was more even. Klum was also knocked up and on the rebound from that Italian billionaire race car driver who dropped her like stale sour kraut.

Heidi’s had huge success since then. As said Heidi’s also the one who hired the lawyers. It’s kind of a truism that most relationships bust up over money. When one partner is worth about 5 times the other it could be a strain.

Then again as Heidi points out Seal does have a temper. She can’t give any specific examples of his temper problem – you know the kind of things that might frighten a woman like punching holes in walls, breaking things, or making threats – those mere trifling details that give people a clearer picture of what’s going on; even though she seems to feel pretty free in talking about the split up. He does have this Leica camera collection that he’s pretty fussy & picky about – oooh that monster!

don’t pay attention – play attention with Wondertrash!

So remember to keep reading Wondertrash and play attention cause like advice from the Snoop Dogg, you never know when it might come in handy!


Bogus zen: “People do not believe lies because they have to, but because they want to

Malcolm Muggeridge

wondertrash
Enhanced by Zemanta
  • Calendar

    • November 2017
      M T W T F S S
      « Apr    
       12345
      6789101112
      13141516171819
      20212223242526
      27282930  
  • Search