Nelly is like a deer in the headlines!

If you know anything about Sierra Blanco Texas it’s that you don’t go bringin’ your shit in there not even if you’re a celebrity. Bewildered songwriter Fiona Apple brought some hash in on her tour bus and they busted her ass. When she got mouthy and psychotic about it with her “my superfriends are watching you” public statement a Sierra Blanco peace officer went on to make a fool of her with his own public statement – “Now listen here honey“. Fiona should’ve known because that’s where Snoop Dogg got busted for weed – though he didn’t make a stink out of it or anything. The Snoopster should’a known cause Willie Nelson got busted there and Willie is a Texan, & if they’ll bust him then they’re gonna bust anyone.

The latest person to get in shit down in Sierra Blanco is rapper Nelly. Nelly’s tour bus was passing through the SB checkpoint when guess what happened. A police canine – not called Dopey Dogg, got a whiff of something he liked better than dog biscuits (I hear that they get those poor animals addicted so that they’ll be better at finding the stuff. PETA really ought’a get on that pronto!). What he found was a huge stash of weed. Huge stash means over ten pounds. The Crime Dog also found 36 small baggies of heroin (no word on whether they ere doggy bags). That totaled 64 ounces. Then the dogged investagator found a .45 calibre pistol. So the shit had hit the fan!

Now like I said Nelly should’a known better cause everyone I mentioned and Armie Hammer has got busted at that Sierra Blanco checkpoint recently. Fiona Apple only got busted with in the past few weeks and she wanted to make sure that everyone knew about it. Still they act like they don’t know. So they’re either like deer in the headlines headlights or moths at the flame.

Now you can’t blame Nelly for not paying attention to Apple because, who would? Also he was a little smarter than the others who went tumbling into the checkpoint. For oinething he had someone to take the rap – pardon the pun. One of the bus passengers – Brian Keith Jones – fessed up to officers that the gun, drugs, and weed was his. So while he got busted and booked Nelly and his entourage got to go free and pass on through.

So what’s the moral of the story? If you’re gonna go through Sierra Blanco then the only heroine you should have with you should be wearing bullet proof bracelets and a tiara. Otherwise you could be spending some time in the newly installed celebrity detention wing of the SB county jail!

So remember to keep reading wondertrash  – the beautiful bikini warrior of celeb gossip blogs & be your own hero!

Bill Maher: CrazyStupidPolitics

In other news Bill Maher is worse than Hitler. That’s a strong statement so let’s just say that they have a thing or two in common. For instance Bill Maher has some strong ideas about who should live and who should die. That’s what he himself said during a recent radio interview in which he described himself as “consistent pro death“. He also said that an added benefit to abortion is that, in addition to giving a woman a right to choose and control over her own body and reproduction, it stops a lot of the wrong people from getting born. He then went on to say that most sensible people think just like he does but they don’t have the guts to own up to it, like he does! Now he has a point there, but the catch is that most people disagree on whom those ‘wrong people’ are. Hopefully Maher has the foresight not to include his own regular viewers on any liquidation death list!

Now Maher’s statements sound like a he’s a raving psychotic a little outrageous. You don’t have to believe me though, not when you can hear Bill say it for himself by running the video below!

BTW Bill also says that he supports not only right to die euthanasia but suicide period across the board for anyone who feels like it. That means don’t call Maher for a pep talk if you’re having a bad day. Now word what got into him. Maybe he was having a bad day. Maybe he was being facetious. Halloween is around the corner and  maybe he was getting in the spirit. Or perhaps he’s really been waiting for that Dexter season premier.

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Texas Cop Takes a Bite Out of Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple
Cover of Fiona Apple

Remember when Fiona Apple got all psycho about her Texas arrest? She started making cryptic comments about encrypted holding cells and celebrity vendettas. Seems she was pissed off with about 4 people who were evolved with her recent incarceration. Well now we might know who 1 of the 4 is!

It’s not a voice in Fiona’s head either but a very real Texas law enforcement officer who got in connection with TMZ and released a statement to show the world that Fiona Apple really doesn’t frighten him. Nor do her fans which he describes as possibly in the thousands! The officer is Officer Rusty Fleming and here’s the statement that made TMZ:

First, Honey, I’m already more famous than you, I don’t need your help. However, it would appear that you need mine.Two weeks ago nobody in the country cared about what you had to say, — now that you’ve been arrested it appears your entire career has been jump-started. Don’t worry Sweetie, I won’t bill you.Next, have you ever heard of Snoop, Willie or Armand Hammer? Maybe if you would read something besides your own press releases, you would have known BEFORE you got here, that if you come to Texas with dope, the cops will take your DOPE away and put YOU in jail.Even though you and I only met briefly in the hallway, I don’t know you but I’m sure you’re an awesome and talented young woman and even though I’m not a fan of yours, I am sure there are thousands of them out there, and I’m sure that they would just as soon you get this all behind you and let you go back to what you do best—so my last piece of advice is simple “just shut-up and sing.”SincerelyRusty Fleming

So now you know that Fiona just wasn’t making up imaginary frenemies in her Texas holding cell. She actually managed to tick off at least one real person! As for the other 3, we’re still waiting for confirmation that they’re not Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, & the Tooth Fairy! Maybe they were “Me, myself, & I“.

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Flavor Flav Mistakes Miley Cyrus for Gwen Stefani

Who was more offended – Miley Cyrus or Gwen Stefani? In a comparison like that there’s just no clear winner. That IHeartRadio thing wasn’t something else wasn’t it? If Fiona Apple had been there then it would’ve been off the hook!

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Green Day Basket Case Goes to Rehab

Does anyone really care about the Emmy Awards? I’ll give you a brief recap – some people turned up in pretty dresses to collect some shiny chrome statutes for stuff that they think is of earth shattering importance even though no one will remember what they won their awards for. That’s not the point – the point is that they got to feel more important by being Kings & Queens for a day, if only for the evening. The rest is detail!

Who is interesting is Billie Joe Armstrong. He’s the leader of Green Day and has been around since fucking nineteen eighty fucking eight! He & Green Day recently played at IHeartRadio where he got kicked off stage for being less relevant than Justin Bieber. That provoked an onstage meltdown where he swore like it was an episode of the Trailer Park Boys while struggling for ten minutes to break his guitar. He was just as fuckin‘ tacky as fuck if you get what the fuck I’m fuckin’ sayin’.

Anyway today the other shoe has dropped. TMZ, the Internet leaders in trashy gossip, except for possibly Radaronline, have announced that Armstrong has entered into rehab for undisclosed issues that may or may not be related to his recent outburst of shit fuckery. Says a Green Day spokesperson – “Green day wants to apologize to those they offended at the iHeartRadio Festival in Las Vegas.” The rep adds, “The band regretfully must postpone some of their upcoming promotional appearances.“ Maybe when he gets his shit halfway together he & Fiona Apple can join forces for a Little Green Apple tour – and unleash  ‘rehab be damned’ sort of fuckery on the world?

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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‘Basket Case’

Has Billie Joe Armstrong been suckin’ on Fiona Apple‘s hash pipe?

Remember Green Day? They’ve been around since 1988. Billie Joe Armstrong got a chance to remind concert goers of that last night at the IHeartRadio concert. Armstrong was performing with an all star marquee including such well known names as Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Usher, No Doubt, Kathy Griffin, Ryan Lochte, & Colton Haynes.

Basket Case Usher’d off

Usher had run 20 minutes over. So while Amrstrong was in the middle of performing basket case a stage manage walked up and told him to cut it short. They were running out of time so they were giving him 1 more minute to make way for Justin Bieber. That’s when Armstrong went from playing Basket Case to acting like one.

not going quietly

Armstrong went on a ten minute rant in which he raged against new music, young people, and basically did everything but tell the kids to get off the lawn! He also smashed his guitar, though it took him a full ten minutes to accomplish that! Plus he said a punch of stuff like such as “Oh, f–k this s–t. I’m gonna play a f–king new song….Give me a f–king break,” Armstrong said to the crowd. “One minute left. One minute f–king left. You’re gonna give me one f–king minute? Look at that f–king sign right there — one minute. Let me f–king tell you something, let me tell you something, I’ve been around since f–king 198-f-cking-8. And you’re gonna give me one f–king minute? You’ve gotta be f–king kidding me! You’re f–king kidding me. What the f–k! I’m not f–king Justin Bieber, you motherf–kers…I got one minute—one minute left. Oh, now I got nothing left. Let me show you what one f–king minute f–king means. One minute. God f–king love you all. We’ll be back.

“fuckety fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ” – is Armstrong writing for the Trailer Park Boys now?

Now even Sir Paul McCartney & Bruce Springsteen didn’t freak out like that when some local authority type pulled the plug on their recent London concert for running 5 mins over. They’ve been around almost forever. People who’ve never even heard of Green Day – except as one third of a prominently featured poster in Soylent Green – know about these guys. So you might think I’m exaggerating Armstrong’s flip out a bit. Then just look at the following video and see for yourself. Just make sure that you get any small children out of the room first because this guy gets his money’s worth out of the F word!

Now that was a bit much. It gets much worse. The stage manager who tried to hustle Amrstrong off of the stage should be warned – Armstrong knows who you are! He has your name. He’s written it down along with all the shit you did @ IHeartRadio. Then he destroyed it, but not after making a special coded copy and sealing in a special locked box called the “holding cell“. So he’s taking some time to sit around and figure out whether or not you’re worth messing with, so he can decide whether to open the holding cell. Or maybe he’s trying to figure out whether the holding cell is filed it under “:Basket Case“. Those kind of filing mix ups can happen – Fiona Apple.

Wondertrash: Junk Food For Thought

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Fiona Apples Knows Who You Are!

Fiona Apple — Explains Her Drug Arrest … In Most Bizarre Speech Ever – Watch More Celebrity Videos or Subscribe

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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Fiona Apple’s in a dilly of a pickle!

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