Andy still a dick

Even Gloria Allred wouldn’t touch this!

I’d say that Andy Dick is still fighting his demons except that these days his demons are probably ashamed to be seen with him. That doesn’t mean that Andy is ashamed to show his face out in public, and his his usual condition too; drunk and disorderly! Seems that Andy was out and about down in Temecula, CA. That’s ’cause fashionable LA establishments won’t let him on their premises. Anyway Andy was enjoying himself in a local restaurant when he got a little too high spirited. That’s a polite euphemism for got drunk out of his mind and made a fool of himself.

everyday is a reality TV episode

Now there’s no word yet on what sort of tomfoolery Andy was involved in (I’m assuming that it was more than a nipple slip), but it did result in the usual visit from the cops. Andy got charged with a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct with alcohol. Then he was escorted off the premises and to the nearest drunk tank. It must be reassuring to know that there are some establishments that still welcome him; even if it’s only into the Lindsay Lohan suite. Anyway Andy got some time to sober up and enjoy some complimentary jail house hamburgers before paying his $500 fine and being released. So he is once again free to pursue his new career as a public nuisance! Oh yeah, and he also got this nifty mugshot as a little memento!

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Uploaded with ImageShack.us

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The chips are still down for Chris Brown

I told you not to push the wrong buttons!


Charlie Sheen isn’t the only celebrity missing a publicist. You can add Chris Brown to the list. It’s been a rough year for Brown. Things went wrong for him a couple of Academy Awards ago. He and his then gal pal Rihanna were set to perform a duet number at the event. It was gonna be a big deal for them. Then pre Oscar nerves and anger issues got the better of Brown. While he and Rihanna were motoring around LA they had a disagreement; something about strange women leaving text messages on Brown phone. Next thing you knew Rihanna was wearing the steering wheel like a head band.

Normally that thing would’ve been hushed up. That’s what publicists are for. However this time meddling members of the public got in the way. Witnesses to the altercation phoned the cops. Since Rihanna had taken the keys from the ignition and tossed them out the window – that’s when Chris lost his shit – there was no way to blow the scene. When the authorities arrived Brown had fled the scene on foot, and they found Rihanna battered and bloodied. The police then went on to take Rihanna’s statement and take a lot of crime scene photos that didn’t do brown any good in the court of public opinion.

After that Brown was in the dog house. That’s not when his PR rep quit. Brown still had a committed fan base who were leaving lots of Myspace and Facebook messages of support. So there was still the opportunity to do important work – like rebuilding his career by repairing his image. Chris would have to lay low for awhile. Then when everyone had calmed down a bit he could make some low key public apologies. The apologies are no problem. PR Reps can whip those up pretty quick, and may even have standard form letter type mea culpa on file and waiting just in case; just the way major newspapers have the obits for troubled celebs drawn up in advance and ready to role. It also helps to have an experienced person write these things up for you so that you’ll sound like you know what you did wrong.

Everything was going off according to plan. Chris was even getting ready to release some stuff and do some public appearances. A few duets with established and respectable performers were lined up. That’s so Chris could get back into the public’s good graces on the coat tails of performers that they still liked. The manipulators were using every trick in the book and it looked like the plan might pay off too. Then Chris goes and pulls one of his patented boners.

The boner in question occurred shortly after a recent GMA interview. Chris was being interviewed by Robin Roberts. Now doubt all the ground work had been done in advance. The PR team had moved in with a pre selected set of questions – nothing awkward; and instruction to kid glove the interview. Then Robin went and did something that threw everything out of whack. She brought up Rihanna. That put Chris off his game. By the time he got back to his dressing room he had a full head of steam. So full in fact that he trashed the joint like he was Charlie Sheen entertaining a hooker in a hotel room. He tried to throw a chair through a window too, for good measure. When the creative temperament goes tilt, look out!

That little stunt seemed to be the last straw. It did get Chris a lot of publicity. People started talking about him like he was the bastard child of OJ Simpson by Mel Gibson or something. Only Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin were more publicly disliked. That’s to say that though he might still have a future in politics, show business is looking bleak for him right now! Maybe he can find something on FOX News.

They say that there’s no such thing as bad press. The trouble is that this kind of press was completely opposite tot he kind of press his hard working PR team had been trying to build up for him over the past year. You know, the whole “Chris Brown is not a monster” angle. Then in one impulsive outburst he threw that hard work down the drain. Since trying to help some one who isn’t helping themselves is a waste, his rep Tammy Brook walked off the job in disgust.

So things don’t look good for Chris right now. Getting your own PR rep is a right of passage for celebrities. It mark the acceptance into the ‘community’, the way confirmation does for Christians. They’re the ones who show you the finer points of playing the game. They get rid of those personal problems the way a father confessor might help clear things up with God. So when your PR rep abandons you, it’s like being excommunicated from the entertainment business. After that it’s down hill no matter how bad you want to get back. You can still put yourself out there, but you’re strictly D List. You career prospects are restricted to pitching reality TV shows based on fucking up, and possibly dating Kat Von D.

This is the position that poor Chris currently finds himself in. So for all of you who were worried that a woman beater might worm his way back into a successful entertainment career, relax. If you ever see this guy again it’s gonna be on a double date with Michael Lohan, or on some reality TV spectacle like Dr Drew’s Rehab. Perhaps he might hook up with Octomom!

That might be possible since Chris hasn’t given up and is trying to say the right things, like “I got very emotional, and I wanna apologize for acting like that.” So maybe he could play the bi polar angle. It could even be time for a drug abuse admission. Probelm is that without a PR rep to sell that, he’s gonna have a hard time getting the media to take it seriously. He’s like a tree falling in the forrest without anyone to run around to news outlets for him explaining that the tree has a problem which requires our understanding and sympathy. Look on the bright side Chris – the National Enquirer is gonna be following you for years to come!

http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed_edition&videoId=showbiz/2011/03/25/sbt.chris.brown.dwts.controversy.cnn

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Celebrity Outrage Mania!

Wonky Willie – more nuts than chocolate!

Usually Awards season marks a lull in celebrity shenanigans. Everyone is on their best behavior because no one wants to fuck up and forfeit their invitation to the prom. Getting jammed up prior to the Oscars and losing your Golden Ticket could mean instant demotion to the D List (Just like Chris Brown about this time last year. If you’re you’re gonna mess up at least wait until after the ceremonies, like Sandra Bullock ex Jesse James. Last year’s Oscars are gonna be a tough act to follow!). So everyone tries to put their best foot forward at all times. That means sucking it in until the season passes so they can get back to their normal bad behavior. Usually that is, but this season seems to be a bit of an exception.

Hornet’s Nest

https://i2.wp.com/i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/01/11/article-1346263-0CB9A9A2000005DC-204_233x423.jpgMaybe it was Tom Cruise’s controversial announcement that the Oscars don’t really matter that shook everyone loose but we’re getting some alearming reports of celebrity outrage mania coming out of the thirty mile zone. Reports like those concerning Edward Furlong. You might remember him from Terminator 2. People predicted a great future for him but then he got mixed up in drugs of the crystal meth variety, Now that stuff not only messes up you face real bad but can make your career and life unmanageable. So Furlong had a sort of hiatus for awhile. in this case hiatus means he became as unemployable as Lindsay Lohan (a sure Oscar night absentee, even if she ain’t in rehab or wearing a scram bracelet on the night).

That hiatus recently ended when Furlong was cast in The Green Hornet. Hornet is an anticipated film so it’s good work for a promising actor trying to get back on track. Unfortunately some old baggage came back to haunt him. Furlong has had a tempestuous relationship with his ex wife Rachel Kneeland. By tempestuous I mean that the police often have to mediate between the pair. mediation has lead to a restraining order. In fact the terms of the order require Furlong to stay at least 100 yards away from Kneeland at all times. To put that in perspective they could attend the same football game but only of they’re seated in opposite end zones.

Furlong decided to do an end run around the restraining order recently, at least according to the ex. While he’d didn’t go for a touch down, he did get within the 50 yard line. So that was a technical foul and lead to the troubled young actor getting carted off by the cops and then locked up on 75 000 bail! That’s a lot of money for some one who’s last major role was as robot Schwarzenegger’s teen aged side kick, and who spend the time since then burning up his earnings through little glass pipes! It couldn’t have happened at a worse time either – the arrest happened with in 24 hours of Furlong attending a special Green Hornet premier. The actual violation occurred about a month back so that makes the timing sound like a case of revenge being served cold, or at least chilled.Oh the humiliation!

If there’s a bit of spite involved it shouldn’t be too surprising. Furlong and Kneeland, who also goes under the name Rachel Bella, had a real bad bust up. During the divorce Kneeland claimed that Furlong had started to lose his grip on reality after his drug use escalated out of proportion. She claimed that he beat her up, threatened her life frequently, and also became psychotic and suicidal. Oh yeah and she had him committed to a psych ward at one point. Plus a lot of creepy phone message by Furlong for Kneeland have got released along the way. They concern Furlong’s son Ethan by Kneeland and swear bloody reprisals against Kneeland’s current boyfriends should they get anywhere near the lad. Bloody reprisals in this case mean an enraged and drugged up Furlong threatening to tear things out and open things up in the grievous bodily harm vein!

Now Furlong’s reps were claiming that he’d been clean and sober of 5 years. those kind of assurances no doubt helped his career back on track. Now it looks like the poor fellow’s demons are making a reappearance, if not a full blown sequel. They’ve reappeared at the worst time too, just as his Green Hornet project was being hyped up. So it looks like he might be due for another long painful hiatus. At the very least he’s blown his shot at an official Oscar invite. He should still be eligible for some unofficial Oscar night activities though. I’m sure for instance that he could get into Charlie Sheen’s Oscar party!

Terminator: The film's sequel helped launch the young star's career

Child star fuck ups are becoming an epidemic in America. Then again outrageous child behaviour is becoming epidemic. The USA seems to be a culture that has list control of it’s youth, or at least that’s what the Simpsons would have us believe, back in that episode where the Commonwealth of Australia wanted to boot Bart in the bum (They’d never have gotten away with razzing the Aussies like that if they weren’t owned by the same fellow who has a controlling interest in Australia – FOX TV’s Rubert Morlock!). If some of the more outrageous reportage is to be beleived America youth a running whild in the streets as behaviour modifying medications fail to curb their antisocial tendencies, or improve their grades.

So what could be the answer? Well boot camps seem to have had some positive results – if reality Tv is to be believed. If that can help the larger issue of youthful high spiritedness, maybe it could do something for the specific problem of child stars run amok! Considering how the system has failed Lindsay Lohan (not to mention Mischa Barton) it might certainly be worth a try. It could also lead to a whole new series of Celeb Rehab type spin offs in which belligerent child actors are sent off to TV boot camps to have their spirits broken. We can’t be sure what such series might be like, but they would surely be watchable, and might even turn out something like this!

Perhaps the problem of out of control youth seems worse than it is. Nowadays we know everything, thanks to the Internet. So the minute some child star goes of the rails we get the gory details. Then we wax nostalgic for the good old days when Opie said the darnedest things but never got out of line. If you only knew half the shit Shirley Temple was into, it might put things in a whole new perspective! Then again you never hear about the child stars who keep their noses clean and stay on track – like this fellow:

American Gothic’s Lucas Black – Sorcerer’s Apprentice

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Down in Trinity South Carolina Sheriff Buck (“That’s Buck with a ‘B’!“) raises kids right, even if that takes a dose of black magic! The complete American Gothic series is available over @ Fancast.com!

wondertrash

Celebrity Smack Down #2

Remembrance of things past


Everyone loves a sequel (unless it was that last Indiana Jones flick, in which case even Shia Labouef thought it sucked), and if you liked yesterday’s post then you’re in luck. In the last post I covered how celebrities can sometimes have a touch of loose lips – the kind that Hollywood plastic surgeons can’t tighten. IN fact you might say that one of their favorite yoga postures is “foot in mouth” pose (a shock to those of you who were gonna guess “head up ass“). One of the highest horse power yaps in Tinsel Town belongs to Megan Fox (when I say that her mouth is hi horse power I don’t mean it in the way that they say *wink, wink*). Megan’s mouth is so prolific in silly utterances that it only seemed right to do an entire post on Little Miss Mouthy. Especially since she managed to provoke the very mild ire of Lynda Carter – which is very hard to do (When Lynda begins with “I like her but…” look for the steam shooting out of her ears). Megan is by no means the only celebrity offender with a mouth loaded and ready for action. Take Keith Richards for instance.

side effects

Keith has got a lot of credibility as the heart and soul of the Rolling Stones. He’s also done an ungodly amount of drugs over the years. IN this case too much of a good thing has had side effects. Let’s just say that every so often Keith’s mind wanders and his mouth decides to follow along and see where it goes. Just like the time Keith claimed to have snorted his dead dad’s ashes (unless it was that container of Snalt he left lying around). Then he took it back. Then he took back the take back. He’s said some other stuff too, like Mick Jagger is a stuck up sell out (which is unfair – he’s no Sir Ben Kingsley!). Of course Keith is jealous over Jagger’s knighthood, and has even taken to calling him “Mike” or “Mikey” within earshot and just out of spite. He also said that Johnny Depp looks like a drug dealer – but he didn’t mean anything by that.

Striking out in Sweden

Well for a guy who can dish it out he has some trouble taking it and that has lead to the latest occurrence of Keith Richards Public Outrage Mania! The story started back in 2007 when the Stones were still touring. Back then they were in Sweden. Despite what Jessica Alba may say about the land of Ikea and sex change surgery, one particular Swede was less than neutral about the Stones. Markus Larrson covered the concert and in his review referred tot he band as amateurs. Now that’s a lot kinder than the rest of us who call them washed up years ago – but Keith took exception.

Life & the City of Light

Now you have to watch what you say because even if you trash talk from a discreet distance time & chance can put you face to face with your target. That’s what recently happened when Richards and Larrson met face to face in Paris. Keith was in the City of Light to promote his new autobiography called Life. He made a stop at a hotel to meet and greet some members of the media when lo and behold who should he find himself face to face with but Mr. Larrson.

Gothenberg a go go

At the time of the ’07 Gothenberg concert Richards had been so irate about Larrson’s review (2 out of 5 stars) that he demanded an apology. This time he didn’t recognize Larrson – well not right away anyway. It seems that time,, and years of drug abuse were on Larrson’s side since Richards was chatting amicable with him for about ten minutes before he realized what was what (Keith must be improving. He recently revealed in an interview that Johnny Depp had been dropping by the house for 2 years before he figured out who Edward Scissorhands was. “I thought he was just another drug dealer my son dragged in.” Richards explained).

Don’t worry till you see the blanks of his eyes

When the wheels finally clicked sparks started flying. Richards confronted the Swede angrily. Markus explains, “His eyes got black and he was absolutely furious. He stood up and asked if we would put out the lights and settle the disagreement straight away. At first I was just surprised, I thought he was pulling my leg, but then I realized he was serious and then I felt uncomfortable and I just wanted to get out of there pretty fast. Things didn’t get better after that. Markus then claims that the elderly rocker hit him over the head before telling him “You’re lucky to get out of here alive!!!!!! I assume that Markus added the exclamation marks. Keith doesn’t seem like more than a three exclamation mark dude at most. Still you get the point – hairy situation.

trash talking a two way street

So let that be a lesson to all you trash talkers out there. We all enjoy the good fun of talking smack about others. Especially if they’re famous. Even more so if they’re natural targets (speaking of which it has just been announced that Carrie Prejean is pregnant – so the world can look forward to the first birth of a silicon based life form!). Yet beware. Even if you’re a protected member of the media, and even if you’re safely away in the land of democratic socialism and seasonal affective disorder, your words can find you out and come back to haunt you. Or at the very least hit you over the head.

sorry Charlie

BTW speaking of celebrity trash talk Gloria Allred has opened her big toxic yap again. Now whenever Allred open that maw of her’s it must send off emissions of fallout like Chernobyl. This time the toxic cloud was directed towards Charlie Sheen, and the words were in the form of an open letter (though you have to admire her for putting her pen where her mouth is, it’s also stupid for a lawyer to put anything in writing). The letter was a sort of diatribe calling Sheen out and detailing some of the violent incidents he’s had with women over the years – you know like the time he shot John Travolta’s wife. Here’s the letter:

Dear Charlie,

You did it again. I can almost see the smirk on your face. You were involved in a scandal in New York where you damaged property and your female companion was allegedly so frightened by your conduct that she hid in the bathroom.

The resulting coverage boosted your ratings for your CBS show “Two and a Half Men”. What you did in the hotel room seemed not to faze you any more than your past criminal conduct has.

Yesterday you were quoted on Extra as saying “If a guy has one bad night everybody goes insane and panics. I’m not panicking.” I can understand why you aren’t panicking Charlie. By now, you understand that the mainstream press and the Hollywood press have their own addiction. They are addicted to celebrities and to scandal, and you are one of their favorites.

They love covering what you do, because it is good for their business as well. The fact that you have hurt women in the past and that you present a potential risk to them in the future if you do not get help seems to be of little or no concern to the press.

They either ignore it, gloss over it or minimize it. For example, last Saturday night, CNN aired what they titled “The Charlie Sheen Story”. Nowhere in the broadcast was it mentioned that a criminal case was filed against you in Malibu, CA in 1997 (People v. Sheen, Case #7MA0345) or that in that case, my client, Brittany Ashland, (photo above) alleged that she suffered substantial physical injuries because of you. Nobody mentioned that you pled no contest in that case to one count of battery with serious injuries, Penal Code Section 243D, a misdemeanor. CNN completely failed to state that your sentence was one year suspended jail time, two years probation, $2,800 fine, 300 hours of community service and 8 counseling sessions.

Elsewhere in the media, there was also hardly any mention of that case when reporters discussed your latest scandal. Instead the discussion was about you, your addictions, whether you party with prostitutes, and your ability to continue to work on your hit show. In other words, with rare exception it was all about Charlie, with minimal mention of women you have hurt in the past.

Almost nobody mentioned that in the recent criminal case brought against you in Colorado that you were originally charged with felony conduct against your wife Brooke Meuller. Almost nobody quoted the full quote of one of the responding police officers to your home in Aspen.

Valerie McFarlane (also my client) has stated “I was one of the responding police officers on Christmas day 2009 to the Sheen home in Aspen. During my investigation I interviewed Charlie Sheen’s wife. I also observed her injuries and photographed them for the record. I observed a red mark on the upper part of her neck which appeared to be as a result of a strangulation hold and red marks on her arms. I also saw older bruises that appeared to be in the healing process. A knife was recovered at the scene which Brooke alleged had been used by the defendant to threaten her. Brooke was crying uncontrollably as she described the incident to me.”

In fact, the press barely mentioned that you were convicted of misdemeanor assault on your wife, Brooke Meuller for what you did to her in your home on Christmas Day 2009.

After all, it was only the mother of your children that you assaulted in your home.

Dangerous and criminal conduct against a woman seems not to matter to most press. What really matters to them is Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.

The fact that the court failed to require you to serve any time in custody for your criminal conduct in the case involving the victim Brittany Ashland, and the criminal case involving your wife is not generally considered important enough for serious discussion. Instead there seems to be an almost secret admiration for how you get away without serious consequences for your dangerous criminal conduct.

I was in court in Aspen and noticed the smirk on your face when the court failed to sentence you to jail time. I understood why you smirked. As a celebrity you seemed to get away with what the typical person without money and power cannot. You might also have felt that the criminal justice system as well as most press stands in awe of your celebrity and appears to be seduced by it.

Charlie, I for one am not seduced by it. I don’t think assaulting and hurting women is funny. I am not one of those standing in line hoping for an interview with you, or an autograph.

Instead, I think about women you will meet in the future. Will they be at risk of harm if you do not get help?

I think about your young daughters. What kind of message are they receiving about violent criminal conduct that men like you are permitted to engage in with little or no consequence?

What if men did to them what you have done to women?

You may have a smirk on your face now, but I doubt that you would think that it was funny if your daughters were the victims of criminal acts. At this point, for the sake of your daughters and other people’s daughters I hope you and your enablers (the celebrity press) get help before it is too late.

Gloria Allred
Attorney at Law
November 9, 2010

Allred knows a thing or two about sleazy antics

Some, like the author of Crazy Days & Crazy Nights, have applauded Allred in this instance. However it’s worth remembering that Allred has an even more colourful history than Sheen. She’s currently repping Rachel Uchitel – one of Tiger Woods’ sluts, she may or may not have represented one of Charlie’s many many abused exs, and she started her career of infamy by launching a gender discrimination suit against the Boyscouts of America. Basically she’s Hollywood’s version of an ambulance chaser. It seems like Allred will do or say anything to get her name in the press – much like Balloon Boy Dad Richard Heene – though it should be pointed out for the sake of possible libel litigation that Gloria Allred has not now, nor has she ever, launched anyone in a balloon – that we know of. Whether or not she’s capable of it is something that I leave to your imaginations. Hey, you guys have been around!

PS Don’t let the trash talk go too far. Remember to mind your language. Who wants to be in need of muzzling?

wondertrash

Hollywood Refugees

Is it possible for some one to take over control of every aspect of your life? If you’re married, or if you’re Randy Quaid, then the answer is “yes“. How does this secret band of Hollywood Star Whackers take control of an unsuspecting celebrity? Well according to Randy Quaid they tag you cell phone, put bogus stories about you into the media, and of course set up power of attorney documents giving them access to your royalty stream in perpetuity! After that they’ve got you right where they want you. They only thing left for them is to get you out of the way.

That’s what Randy Quaid was afraid would happen to him and his wife Evi when their strange adventure began. It started with some legal beefs over unpaid bills. Quaid claims that he and his wife were totally set up. That’s the way these ‘total businessmen‘ operate. Then things got gradually worse, until the Quaids had become something of a joke in the entertainment community. With their reputation ruined and the law closing in with a vengeance, that left the Quaids looking for sanctuary. They attempted to find that in Vancouver, Canada, until the long arm of the law closed in on them there too. Once they were picked up outside a bank it looked like deportation, and a messy trial/media spectacle would follow.

The Quaids have so far short circuited that. They applied to the Canadian government for protection, claiming that they were refugees from Hollywood who only wanted to be left alone by the criminals in the United States. If they were sent back then their lives would be in immediate jeopardy from the band of above the law star whackers who’ve offed the likes of Heath Ledger and others.

Now when that first came out people thought that it must be a lame ploy to avoid deportation. Canada won’t sent people back if they’re in immanent danger of being killed. However if it’s a ploy then the Quaids are taking it to the next level. Randy & Evi gave an interview on Good Morning America today in which they elaborated on their strange conspiracy theories. Not only did they give some details on what they believe is happening to them, but also named some names about who else might be at risk. According to Bonny & Clyde, Lindsay Lohan needs to watch her step – but not in the way that Dr. Drew means (If there are star whackers out there then Dr. Drew has got to be in on it. He already demonstrated criminal tendencies with his “frame her up better than the Mona Lisa” comments about Lohan.). Britney Spears is on thin ice too. Their master stroke was left for Mel Gibson.

According to the couple Gibson has been targeted by the Star Whackers. What’s more Oksana Grigorieva was ‘sent in‘ to ‘destroy him‘. Now that’s consistent with their thinking. Gibson has been very successful, so his royalty stream has gotta flow like Niagra Falls, even after all those unpleasant telephone recordings about rose gardens and blow jobs. All some shrewd star whacker would have to do is get him declared mental, take over power of attorney, and make sure that he’s discredited in the media so that he will neither be believed or defended! That would explain everything except the tapes themselves. Evi has an answer for that one thought – “He was drugged! Some one slipped him a mickey!” she claimed on GMA. Most people who know about Mel assume that he was drunk and that no one else slipped him anything that he wasn’t voluntarily sipping. Still if some one wanted to slip him a mickey, it probably wouldn’t be too hard – “Hey Gibson – wanna drink?

But enough commentary. Here are the Quaids in their own words from that Good Morning America interview! They explain everything including how close Dennis Quaid is to becoming another Hollywood casualty. He’s already been pigeon holed into making crap films, according to Evi. Dennis has also been mysteriously alienated from his brother and sister in law. The “crap movies” comment may have had something to do with that. You know how sensitive performers can be. However Evi reassures viewers that Dennis is talented, so no slight was meant. Here now is the interview, so put on your tin fiol hats and be prepared to be amazed.

http://abcnews.go.com/assets/player/walt2.6/flash/SFP_Walt_2_65.swf

A compelling argument. Lucidly communicated too. They’ve answered everything. In fact the only stone left unturned would be a possible Diana Napolis aka Curio Jones connection. I’ve always wondered why that particular story got buried by the media. I guess no one messes with Jennifer Love Hewitt! Now before you poo poo these ideas remember that stranger things have happened, unless Marylin Munroe really did od on sleeping pils. Besides,Hollywood Star Whackers anagrams to Swarthy, hallowed crooks That’s gotta be more than coincidence!

It’s easy to make fun of the Quaids. For one thing they’re obviously crazy. However let’s move out of our comfort zones for a moment, and assume for the sake of argument that they’re sane. For one thing they’re not saying anything that hasn’t been said before. When the late lamented Michael Jackson passed on from Neverland to the final neverland, his own sister Janet claimed that he’d been helped along by people around him that had decided he was worth more dead. At the time we assumed that it was grief talking and so everyone cut her slack. Yet it has just been announced that Michael Jackson was Forbes Top Dead Earner last year. He made $270 million, and that’s more than Oprah! Now Jackson’s family say that they haven’t seen one thin dime of this. The business managers pay the bills but won’t issue them any checks. So where’s the money going?

Also, in some twitter posts some time back Courtney Love claimed that she was being ripped off by a group of business managers who had set up bogus social insurance numbers for her late husband Kurt Cobain. They then proceeded to take out mortgages on these SIN’s. Love claimed that these financial shenanigans had left her almost broke.

Now when Courtney starts talking strange people assume that she’s on something and they stop paying attention. Yet a pattern is developing. So many Hollywood stars passed on back in 2009 that people began referring to it as the year of death. It seemed that there were more deaths than might be expected from coincidence alone. So who’s to say whether or not there might be something to the talk of conspiracies and star whackers.

BTW happy birthday to the world’s most beautiful woman Aishwarya Rai.

Incidentally, one of Ms. Rai’s biggest pet peeves is people who pronounce her lat name as Buchanan! You can call her the most beautiful woman in the world though, well right after this chick!

wondertrash

When Bunnies Attack

Bunny Bummer

https://i1.wp.com/images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2010920//300.victoria.cm.102010.jpgAt 66 Angela Dorian has had a long and varied career int he entertainment industry. You may remember her from bit parts and guest roles on series like Hogan’s Heroes, Star Trek, Perry Mason and Bonanza. She was also in Rosemary’s Baby (man the RB curse has claimed so many!). She perhaps best known as a former Playboy Bunny.

It’s been a while since Dorian the Bunny has been anything like a celebrity, but that doesn’t mean that she still doesn’t have it in her! For one thing she ain’t some blue haired granny playing bingo and settling into a Momma’s Family existence of crusty impatience and falling stockings. This broad has still got herself a man! More than that she still got what it takes to keep him in line too. Maybe she’s even got a bit too much!

By a bit too much I mean that Dorian went from laying down the lay to facing the music herself. On Saturday at about 7PM it became evident that Dorian was a bad bunny when she got hauled off to jail for shooting her unnamed boyfriend. That poor man wound up with a hole in his chest that crafty Dorian – that wascally wabbit! – claimed was put there by drug dealers.

However it later emerged that drug dealer had nothing to do with it. Dorian herself had shot the hapless man. That lead to a charge of attempted murder, and a million dollar bail. It also lead to her being incarcerated in Century Regional Detention Facility, in Lynnewood. That’s housed such hi profile ne’er do wells as Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Ritchie. So after a long hiatus from fame it looks like Dorian has finally made it into the winner’s circle and the exalted company therein! It just goes to show that it’s never to late, if you’ve still got some life in you! Naturally Dorian has pleaded not guilty.

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Justin Bieber lashes out at 12 year old

Justin Bieber is back in the news. He’s been in the news pretty frequently ever since he was ‘discovered’ on youtube and turned into a Mylie Cyrus type phenomenon. After that he became a media sensation and a Donny Osmond style heart throb to teen girls across North America. The ‘phenomenon’ thing started to wear thin fast as more and more ‘odd’ Bieber stories started to come forward: Bieber fans threaten to kill Kim Kardashian, Bieber gets beaned with a water bottle during a concert, Bieber gets arrested – for breaking curfew, Bieber swears at a floor director – in Australia, Bieber introducing his new nail polish line, etc.

The following story continues on the weird trend. Seems that Bieber and a 14 person entourage of his – he’s already outgrown real friends – were patronizing a lazer tag facility in Richmond BC when things got out of hand. Bieber ran afoul of another young tagger, and some kind of altercation occurred.

Details about the altercation vary. So far the unofficial version is that some annoying little kid was following Bieber around and calling him a “faggot“. Bieber finally had enough and clobber the little brat. According to some unofficial statements Bieber felt that he was being bullied, and what with stories of homophobic taunting so much in the news lately, reacted by pounding the little arsehole. He felt bullied and wanted to put a stop to things.Trouble is that Bieber is 16, and the bully was 12. Many of you who still remember being 12 will recall how unlikely bullying anyone 4 years older than you was. That is unless you were a steroid terror.

Staff have a slightly different story. Planet Lazer employees say that the kid and his cronies were following Bieber around and shooting him with their guns while he was trying to play a game of his own. He finally got fed up and clobber the little snot boy. It’s what anyone might have done one staff member confided.

Then there’s the official version coming from Bieber’s official public relation representatives. According to Bieber’s people the event never occurred. So there’s nothing to explain. Now that is concise and convenient. It’s just not very convincing.

Part of the reason that it’s not convincing is because a police report was filed on the incident. According to the boys in blue, also known as the RCMP: “On Friday around 5:30 p.m. we got a report that a 12-year-old boy was allegedly assaulted at an entertainment facility in Richmond. The boy sustained minimal injuries and did not require medical attention. We are continuing our investigation.” No other info will be released at this time, the spokesperson added.” The fuzz won’t release any more pertinent details both both participates in the altercation are under 18, and so protected by young offenders legislation.

So young Mister Bieber cotinues to stound and amaze us with behaviour uncharacteristic of a bubble gummer. Maybe he’s already rejecting the Corey Haim like aura of creepy wholesomeness that’s been projected onto him. Maybe he’s just following the normal life cycle of over night child stardom. If that’s true then look for him to get into serious shot soon enough. Then again maybe the whole thing is what it is – something that’s been blow way out of proportion, like Bieber himself. Anyway since the lad is 16 look for a whole new level of Bieber Fever tabloid trash stories once he gets his license to drive.

Speaking of Tabloid Trash Stories, Wondertrash readers will probably be aware that some weird shit is happening lately. For instance New York had a recent UFO attack or something. Media later reported that the UFO sightings were hot air balloons released form a local elementary school. Now while that can happen – Tom Petty once believed that the Earth was under attack when he saw balloons being released from a wedding held on the estate of neighbor Adam Sandler. Petty mistook the balloons for flying saucers and hopped in his car, with his wife, to drive directly towards the invaders. Petty discovered his mistake, but not before he got into a collision with some guest of Sandler’s on their way to the event by car. Petty went on to lament that his wife no longer allowed him to drive after pulling that particular boner!

The trouble with these stories is that they leave so much unexplained. For instance if Petty really believed that the Earth was being invaded why would he drive towards the saucers, and not more sensibly, away from them? In the case of the New York UFO’s, why would America’s most hardened cynics make the same mistake as a man who left his brain, and now his driver’s license, in the 60’s?

The answer is that there’s more going on here than you and I realize. What that is has something to do with the New World Order and their nefarious plans to recondition you consciousness using current events. Like the Chilean Miners. After a couple of weeks in the bowels of the earth they’re already poised on the verge of international Susan Boyle type stardom. They’re making some heavy plans too, like forming a foundation to sell their story and divvy up the proceeds. Pretty sophisticated for rural miners. If Gary Bell and the View From Space is right it’s because they’re no longer Chilean miners but nephilim possessed Illuminati agents who were taken over by the spirits of the fallen while they were in the bowels of Mother Gaia. Just have a listen to Bell’s latest broadcast below and then decide for yourself is this isn’t an usual amount of fuss over a mining mishap considering that such things happen from time to time through out the world from the Southern States to Australia, without get the kind of reality TV attention that this has – just wait for the eventual movie!

http://www.4shared.com/embed/406371010/7fca3cbc

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