Should Oprah mind her OWN business?

After many years of bring the world into America’s living rooms, Oprah Winfrey has moved out into the world from her studio. “We’re not on those chairs anymore” she says in the commercials hyping her OWN Network. Plus she’s got an all star cast to back her up with a roster of semi reality TV confessional human interest type programming. She’s backed up by a supporting cast including Dr Phil, Dr Oz, Gayle King and even Shania Twain. Yet there are rumours that OWN ain’t doing so good.

Maybe that’s why Oprah took to the tweet lately – during the Grammy Awards in fact – in what was apparently and attempt to hype up her network! Oprah has about 9 million followers. At her peak anything she “liked” got an immediate boost, from bedsheets to bogus rehab biographies. So it seemed like a safe bet that the faithful might answer the call. So she sent forth the word – “Every 1 who can please turn to OWN especially if you have a Nielsen box“.

No one likes awards shows. They’re kind of like the high school prom on steroids. Besides people like Oprah. So it should’ve worked out nifty. Yet Oprah got some blow back out of her guerrilla marketing tactics. For instance the me has been called “desperate” and “unethical”.

Oprah take some exception to that. For one thing she insists that “‘desperate’ not ever a part of my vocab“. Twitter seems to have taken many words out of our vocabularies. For another she also considers ‘unethical’ to be a ‘bit harsh’. Oprah’s tweet got taken down a little while later. However another Own related tweet – “Commercial Grammy people.. u can turn to OWN”.

Whether it’s unethical or not it’s technically over the line. Nielsen forbids networks (& Oprah owns OWNS) to hype up their shows specifically to Nielsen box holders. Direct appeals to box holders to change their viewing habits can throw off the results. That would defeat the purpose of market research. For instance 80% of box holders might be watching a show because they were specifically singled out. Meanwhile the rest of the nation might be watching the new reality TV series. That would make the ratings meaningless. Advertising rates are based on ratings. So Nielsen frowns on the practice. “In accordance with our policies, Nielsen is reviewing this with our clients and may withhold, breakout and/or make a note in the ratings,” a Nielsen rep told EW. The rep went on to say that “We take any violation of our policy seriously”.

So how did it end up? Oprah took down the tweet. Then she made an apology. She released a statement saying “I removed the tweet at the request of Nielsen. I intended no harm and apologize for the reference.” As for the Grammy’s they bagged 39.9 million viewers. So no harm no foul. IN fact thew hole incident was as harmless as Justin Timberlake‘s attempts to revitalize Myspace (He’s taking his Social Network role way too seriously). The Grammy’s are usually a pretty good draw. Now if it had been something like the Sream Awards then there might have been more cause for concern. Harold & Kumar need as much support as they can get!

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Coming Soon from the National Enquirer

Has Angelina Jolie finally gone too far?

Next week’s National Enquirer promises to be a wild ride if the promo is any indication. For one thing Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the verge of divorce again. It seems like they’ve been on the verge of marriage and divorce for years now – basically ever since Angie ripped poor Jennifer Aniston‘s heart out and ruined her life. That left Poor Jen with nothing but her A List movie career to fall back on. However this time NE up’s the ante by claiming that Angie has confessed to cheating, and to hotel room hook ups. Thgis lead to a marriage counseling break down. Oh yeah and Angie also supposedly physically threatened Jen according to the cover.

Kardashians continue to make marriage a reality TV tabloid travesty?

Now it that wasn’t enough to whet your appetite there’s more trouble for the Kardashians. Apparently Mother Kris Kardashian Jenner’s marriage is destroyed by some kind of cheating scandal. Apparently some kind of afffair has been exposed! Those Kardashian women are either gonna have to stay out of divorce court or stop getting married of they want to stop provoking the public, ’cause their sleazy shenanigans are just getting obnoxious!

Is Gayle King an extraterrestrial transsexual? If she were do you think she’d admit it?

In other news the real Gayle King is exposed. Now for those hoping it might be as a terrorist, transsexual, or an extra terrestrial I’ve got bad news. The tabs are creeping towards the very out fringes of credibility, so the days of Elvis taking UFO rides and inseminating Hilary Clinton via ray beam are lamentably long gone (except in the WeeklyWorldNews which still exists online, and where Elvis and Hilary’s love trysts with Bigfoot continue!). Apparently Gayle has used Oprah Winfrey to make millions! Now there’s now word on whether this was in some legitimate way, they way ma people given their start by Oprah have made millions – like such as Dr. Phil McGraw, or whether they’re leaving something else to be inferred. The phrase “used” is kind of loaded.

Then there’s the Newt Gingrich’s wife lesbian shocker. There’s an election coming up and since the Enquirer did so well with John Edwards – much better than John Edwards did with the Enquirer – they have to keep up the cred with some semi legit news related articles. They don’t give Pulitzer Prize nominations for horoscopes and sudokus! Now there are no clues in the cover about how they get shocked by lesbians. Perhaps were chased by those pink pistol gangs that Bill O Reilly on FOX was so concerned about several years back. BOR was afraid that the gays = perhaps finally having had enough – had taken up arms. If these same pink pistol lesbians have chased down the Gingrich’s – perhaps in outrage over some extreme right wing views, and then tasered them in to literal electric shock, then O Reilly is gonna need a pace maker! Either way the corner photo shows both Gingrichs looking shocked, or at least perturbed.

With FOX as the voice of the right, why did America turn Democrat?

That rampaging lesbian story is just the kind of stuff that needs more coverage in the media. Might have something to do with the bisphenol A laden water those metrosexuals are always drinkin’!

As for what’s behind that titillating cover, there’s a couple of doozies in the works:

Whitney Houston, desperate and broke, collapsed in a shocking public breakdown and The ENQUIRER has chilling photos that show how her last-ditch bid to stay sober is falling apart. Friends fear the long-troubled songbird is back on drugs and has hit rock bottom after losing her $100 million fortune.


The lives of Demi Moore‘s daughters have been ripped apart by her drug and booze hell. Busted for underage drinking last year, Tallulah, 18, is currently in therapy and telling pals that Demi’s out-of-control behavior has turned her life into “a nightmare.” Meanwhile, Rumer, 23, who has been most supportive of Demi, is now worried that she, too, is being dragged down by her mother. Scout, 20, who’s away at college, fears that her sisters are in danger, say sources. In a revealing ENQUIRER report, insiders reveal how the girls’ dad, Bruce Willis is battling to keep the family from falling apart.

People have been very concerned about Demi Moore and her family lately. Especially since Demi and the girls seem like basically nice, likeable people with some celebrity sized problems. With Demi in rehab, Tallulah in therapy, Rumer in the tabs, that leaves Scout as the level headed one! At the rate their going they’re headed straight for reality TV. So you tell me if the NE isn’t worth it’s $5? If they can add a fab summer diet and blue dot winning lotto numbers then they can count on my business at the checkout!

By the way – Wondertrash isn’t up for any Pulitzer prizes so any kind of trash is up for posting! So here’s the Wondertrash version of Lotto Numbers That Can Help You Lose Weight! It’s called How To Get Laid In 5 Easy Steps!

Now I can’t guarantee that any of that advice will get you laid, but if it helps you win the lottery then let me know!

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