A Rogue’s Gallery of Insane Celebrity That Would Creep Out Batman!

Raging Bull

Robert DeNiro probably does A better job endorsing products in Japanese commercials than he does introducing speakers at political events. That’s because he made an off colour comment at a recent Democratic Party fundraiser. The event was on Monday in New York and bobby had to introduce Michelle Obama. Bugsy Bobby managed to piss off everyone by quipping “Callista Gingrich, Karen Santorum, Ann Romney. Now do you really think our country is ready for a white first lady?” De Niro said. “Too soon, right?” That went over about as well as when Alex Jones said that juice boxes make you gay – first they give men breast & then they give them breast cancer!

When I say he pissed off everyone I mean that of course the usual suspects were offended. Like those touchy Republicans. Newt Gingrich called the remarks inexcusable and divisive. If anyone knows about inexcusable and divisive it’s Gingrich. Only Rush Limbaugh knows more. However they weren’t the only ones who were peeved. DeNiro also earned himself an official reprimand from the First Lady’s office, who described the comments as “inappropriate”.

Now granted no one likes those pack of Stepford Drones backing the Republican Primary Candidates. They come off like they might’ve been cloned from Tipper Gore’s fingernail scrapping. That doesn’t mean that you can go around shooting from the lip like you’re no better than some blogger! That’s why Bobby Boy had to respond to that official reprimand with an official apology. Bob said – “My remarks, although spoken with satirical jest, were not meant to offend or embarrass anyone — especially the first lady.” Satirical jest requires both wit and discretion – unless you’re on the Internet. So you can’t just go around saying obnoxious shit that will upset people who might find it offensive. However I personally blame Sarah Palin! Politics has brought out the malicious petty worst in everyone every since that dumb hair sprayed half baked Alaskan bitch got dragged into the mix!

Rhianna – Sarah Palin of pop music?

Now before I work on my official apology to Ms. Palin, here’s some more mild offensive celebrity shenanigans. Who could be more mildly offensive these days than Rhianna? She was always a little bit irritating but these days people are getting fed up fast with the broad. That’s cause she’s gone back with her abusive ex Chris Brown in spite of all the sympathy and support that got tossed her way. She guested on one of Chris’s recent tracks, called him the best R&B artist out there in a recent interview, and has been playig Twitter tag with Chris and his current girl friend K-Tran, whom Rhianna refers to as “rice cakes”! It’s like she made suckers of everyone by being determined to make a fool of herself. Of course she’s Rhianna so she can get away with that.

So while Rhianna is laying down ultimatums to Chris to drop Ms Tran or lose her forever, the rest of humanity is getting more impatient with her by the minute. Humanity like Gene Simmons. Gene Simmons is the guy with the tongue who used to front KISS and then went with Playboy bunny Shannon Tweed and then on to reality TV! So in his mind that gives him rock’n’roll street cred. So he’s in a position to go heaving shit and people he thinks of as no more than fucking no talent phonies. People like Rhianna for instance. GS recently said “We’re sick and tired of girls getting up there with dancers and karaoke tapes in back of them,” Simmons told the crowd at the press conference, reports Billboard.com. “No fake bull***t. Leave that to the Rihanna, Shmianna and anyone who ends their name with an ‘A.’

Of course Geno has a big tour coming up so he needs to say shit to get attention to hype the tour and nothing gets attention like slagging on some one who’s public image is jumping the shark. GS ain’t alone in his opinions though. Motley Crue’s Tommy Lee seconded that opinion by saying “No disrespect to Rihanna, she’s a great singer, but we’re in a slump for some s**t that has some personality and appeal beyond a bunch of pop stuff that’s floating around out there,” he told Billboard.com. “I’m glad he said that actually because I don’t think I can bear watching another f**king award show that is just a little bit better than ‘American Idol.’ It’s f**king pathetic to watch people go out and f**king karaoke with a bunch of lights and video. It’s all completely watered down.” Tommy Lee has tattoos and married Pamela Anderson a couple of times so he has at least as much rock’n’roll cred as Gene – although where were either of them at Live Aid? Motley Crue is also on the same tour with KISS so T Boner has got as much incentive for making inflammatory public remarks as Simmons! So we’re all agreed – Rhianna is a dumb bitch without enough sense to get in out of the rain!

Rhianna & the Kutchie Boy

One person who still likes Rhianna is Ashton Kutcher. Until recently the Kutch had been married to Demi Moore. They’d been together for about 10 years and ever since he played a teenager on That Seventies Show. They called it a seventies show but there never was a single reference to the Fonz or Happy Days so it lacked creditability. Back in the 70’s people who’d never heard of the Beatles knew about the Fonz! So the show completely lacked credibility. Then again Kutch was a 20 something playing a teenager – like John Vinnie Barbarino Travolta on Welcome Back Kotter, so credibility wasn’t the issue. So he was all set for his Demi Moore marriage.

Demi & the Kutch (now that sounds like a late 70’s sitcom!) went the separate ways in a highly publicized bust up several moths ago that left Demi hospitalized and eventually in rehab. She’d become a separate desperate housewife. Kutchie Baby started making up for lost time with a bevy of young beauties. Then he replaced Charlie Sheen in 2 1/2 Men. So a lot of things weren’t working out for him lately. So it should be no surprise that he’s wandered into Rhianna sphere of influence.

Actually it was Rhianna’s sphere of influence that wandered into Kutcher. In the wee hours of Mar 21 Rhianna and her personal SWAT team of security persons were seen arriving at Kutchie’s place. She stayed about 4 hours, and left some time around dawn. Don’t believe it? There are pictures!


No word on what got into either of them except that Rhianna – who has demanded that Chris Brown choose between her and his current girlfriend (the one who stood faithfully beside him during his darkest hours) – is losing patience with Brown. So some quality time with one of LA’s No 1 swingers might light a fire under him!

the Crazy Hour

Angelina Jolie used to be one of the most admired actresses in Hollywood but eventually managed to make it into the ranks of annoying celebrities herself. It was only a matter of time. Her mischievous right leg ain’t the only thing acting up lately either. Her kids are way out of control. At least that’s what US OK! Magazine is saying. A source has been spilling some beans and the Mag quotes them as saying that Jolie’s kids are about ready for Child Protective Services. According to the report:

“There’s not much any of us can do but sit and watch,” a friend revealed, “The kids are all goofed up on sugar, and after Shiloh has five cookies in a row and Maddox downs his third orange Fanta, it’s crazy hour. That’s what we call it: Crazy Hour. Toys fly. Kids melt down into tantrums. There’s fighting, it’s just a zoo.”

Mother Angelina has admitted in the past that sugar is the “family weakness” but it has reportedly got so bad that friends fear the children are actually addicted.
A friend said: “The kids eat fast food every day, doughnuts for breakfast. “Shiloh’s a sugar addict, screaming when she’s cut off.”

The article also accuses the Hollywood golden couple about their children’s hygiene, rarely encourage them to wash or brush their teeth.

“Angelina does not insist the kids brush every day or wash hands before meals,” the insider went on. “They bathe whenever they want, which is not often.”
Their friends have reportedly started to notice and are even telling other people that, “[Brad]his kids smell like Johnny Depp.”

The close source goes on to reveal that despite their parents’ strict humanitarian stance they have no problem with the children playing violent battles that go further than the usual chil-drens games.
“Angelina lets the boys play with guns, rifles, though they are unloaded and some are just toys. “Others are real and pricey antiques — they’re the ones the boys use to pretend kill the staff.”

Mild substance addiction, violent outbursts, and hunting the staff for sport – they sound like the Adams Family on meth! Not since the reports of Octomom’s messy family situation have I read anything so negliegent and shocking. Still there might be a reasonable explanation for this. Perhaps they Pitt-Jolie’s are prepping up for a new reality TV series! With no recent baby pics to pitch for People Magazine exclusives the couple could use a source of income. So a reality TV series hot on the heels of some over hyped wedding might rack in the bucks Sarah Palin style! Admit it – you’d watch too after hearing those hair raising reports!

Megan Fox crazy by donedone123456

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Year of the Bunny

A green Playboy Bunny attending the Karma Foun...Image via Wikipedia

Bunnies are a big deal. Ever since they invaded the island continent of Australia people realized they needed watching. Of course many already figured that out from watching they mayhem these warm cuddly creatures regularly created in Saturday morning children’s cartoons. It seemed like they were constantly thwarting attempts to murder them, often with the use of mallets, high explosives, and even spring loaded boxing gloves – often provided by ACME Inc., probably free in exchange for product placement.
It was only a matter of time before these menaces found their way into popular culture – a wasteland that like the Australian Outback is tailor made for them. Hugh Hefner introduced the bunny to the world back in the 60’s through his chain of fetish cocktail clubs. There hard up unfaithful swingers could be waited on by attractive young women in rabbit costumes – floppy ears, fuzzy tail, etc. I even hear that the original costume featured oversized plastic “Bugs Bunny” teeth, which were quickly phased out – possibly following some injuries.
Hefner’s strain of Playboy Bunny proved even more popular than the cartoon breed. Soon we were up to our ear holes in grinning, bulging young varmints who were on the make with a vengeance. They sported every charm plastic surgery, and Hef’s substantial check book, could provide, up to and including over bites of buck toothed cartoon rabbit proportions! Hef made a good living marketing human bunnies for public consumption. The trouble started when these things began getting loose and roaming at large – free range bunnies began making trouble!
The first one to really get in the public eye was Anna Nicole “Big Bunny” Smith. Once she got a taste of the Golden Carrot she decided she liked it, and went on pursuing it with a vengeance that Bugs might envy! She left no stone unturned – plastic surgery, mercenary marriage, and even videoed herself giving birth to daughter Dannilynn so that the footage could be marketed! Anna eventually came to grieve, but not before she made a major mess out of her own live, the lives of her family and acquaintances, not to mention the Marshal clan – that;’s the family of the 90 something oil billionaire she married for true love back in the 90’s. Hey, it was the Clinton era!
Now people should’ve learned their lesson from ANS, and started treating these fluffy fearsome creatures with as much trepidation as the Monty Python Knights faced that killer rabbit in Holy Grail! Unfortunately the beast was loose – and the Aussie can tell you how hard those mangy critters are to handle once they get a foothold. Anyhow there was a five hundred channel universe for them to roam free in now. In fact there was far more air space than there was content to fill it. That’s why they invented Reality TV. So it seemed like there couldn’t be too much harm done by these friendly menaces. Soon bunnies were popping up everywhere, in The Bunnies Next Door Playboy reality TV show, as Gene Simmons sig other in Family Jewels, in the form of Gene Simmons sig other Shannon Tweed, and even in the news if you count the local weather slut or Katie Curic on the Evening News! Tom Cruise even tossed his long time partner Nicole Kidman for creepy bunny Katie Holmes. Australia knows no respite from these beasts!
With the rise of Britney Spears & Scarlett Johansson it looked that bunnies had not only gone mainstream but were about to gain a credibility that they had heretofore not enjoyed. It was only when a rare breed of Alaskan Killer Bunny, named Sarah Palin, started to invade America’s capitol, & even beginning to encroach within the belt way, that the public started to become fully conscious of the threat. Bearing a relentless smile, Sarah gnawed away on the collective mind of her country like some rogue bunny working it’s fearsome choppers through a cabbage patch! It was touch and go for awhile, and even David Letterman had about as much luck dealing with her as Elmer Fudd. Eventually the Alaskan Killer Bunny was deflected into the realms of reality TV and the tabloids – where she burned herself out. Another critter nearly invaded the White House by attaching herself to pres Candidate John “Pretty Boy” Edwards. However she was an extremely destructive version; ruining Edwards character, marriage, and career before he could get her anywhere near the Nation’s # 1 position. It worked out like a virus destroying it’s host! However It was a close call.
So where does that leave bunnies in the future? By now they’ve left such a track wreckord – in the form of the usual trail of wreckage, that the public should be well aware of the threat posed! However there still seems to be a place for these worthless destructive creatures. Word has it that Charlie’s Angels is rebooting, and going back to what was the original title and premise of the 1st series. Produces say that they are adding much more jiggle and fluff to the series, and plan to rename it “Bunny Squad”.Producers claim they were inspired by the small Southern town that announced plans to give the local Sherif’s dept. a public image make over by hiring Hooter’s girls as officers. Citing that “It worked for Hooters”, the sherif claimed that public attitudes towards law enforcement might improve if officers were perceived as more friendly and attractive! He also claimed that there was some enthusiastic support for the proposal, though only from small town criminals – “Are you gonna take me away officer?” “I might have to cuff and taser you too!” “Then the day only gets better. Lead on Sgt Pepper!“ ”Oh she’s Pepper. I’m Salty!” “Hallalujah!” As it turned out the whole report, that started the Charlie’s Angels reboot, was an article in The Onion – a herb so refreshingly toxic that even bunnies avoid it! – but by then the damage was done. Once it gets started it’s hard to stop. For instance I hear that David E Kelley is trying to get his Wonder Woman pilot redone in a new fluff and jiggle format tentatively titled Wonder Bunny! Just don’t get your carrot stuck in the Magic Lasso of Truth!
The Goodies: The Goodies vs the Moon Bunnies
http://www.veoh.com/swf/webplayer/WebPlayer.swf?version=AFrontend.5.7.0.1276&permalinkId=v16006843Rb22AkG&player=videodetailsembedded&videoAutoPlay=0&id=anonymous
Watch Invasion of the Moon Creatures – The Goodies in Comedy | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

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