Green Day Basket Case Goes to Rehab

Does anyone really care about the Emmy Awards? I’ll give you a brief recap – some people turned up in pretty dresses to collect some shiny chrome statutes for stuff that they think is of earth shattering importance even though no one will remember what they won their awards for. That’s not the point – the point is that they got to feel more important by being Kings & Queens for a day, if only for the evening. The rest is detail!

Who is interesting is Billie Joe Armstrong. He’s the leader of Green Day and has been around since fucking nineteen eighty fucking eight! He & Green Day recently played at IHeartRadio where he got kicked off stage for being less relevant than Justin Bieber. That provoked an onstage meltdown where he swore like it was an episode of the Trailer Park Boys while struggling for ten minutes to break his guitar. He was just as fuckin‘ tacky as fuck if you get what the fuck I’m fuckin’ sayin’.

Anyway today the other shoe has dropped. TMZ, the Internet leaders in trashy gossip, except for possibly Radaronline, have announced that Armstrong has entered into rehab for undisclosed issues that may or may not be related to his recent outburst of shit fuckery. Says a Green Day spokesperson – “Green day wants to apologize to those they offended at the iHeartRadio Festival in Las Vegas.” The rep adds, “The band regretfully must postpone some of their upcoming promotional appearances.“ Maybe when he gets his shit halfway together he & Fiona Apple can join forces for a Little Green Apple tour – and unleash  ‘rehab be damned’ sort of fuckery on the world?

Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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‘Basket Case’

Has Billie Joe Armstrong been suckin’ on Fiona Apple‘s hash pipe?

Remember Green Day? They’ve been around since 1988. Billie Joe Armstrong got a chance to remind concert goers of that last night at the IHeartRadio concert. Armstrong was performing with an all star marquee including such well known names as Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Usher, No Doubt, Kathy Griffin, Ryan Lochte, & Colton Haynes.

Basket Case Usher’d off

Usher had run 20 minutes over. So while Amrstrong was in the middle of performing basket case a stage manage walked up and told him to cut it short. They were running out of time so they were giving him 1 more minute to make way for Justin Bieber. That’s when Armstrong went from playing Basket Case to acting like one.

not going quietly

Armstrong went on a ten minute rant in which he raged against new music, young people, and basically did everything but tell the kids to get off the lawn! He also smashed his guitar, though it took him a full ten minutes to accomplish that! Plus he said a punch of stuff like such as “Oh, f–k this s–t. I’m gonna play a f–king new song….Give me a f–king break,” Armstrong said to the crowd. “One minute left. One minute f–king left. You’re gonna give me one f–king minute? Look at that f–king sign right there — one minute. Let me f–king tell you something, let me tell you something, I’ve been around since f–king 198-f-cking-8. And you’re gonna give me one f–king minute? You’ve gotta be f–king kidding me! You’re f–king kidding me. What the f–k! I’m not f–king Justin Bieber, you motherf–kers…I got one minute—one minute left. Oh, now I got nothing left. Let me show you what one f–king minute f–king means. One minute. God f–king love you all. We’ll be back.

“fuckety fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck ” – is Armstrong writing for the Trailer Park Boys now?

Now even Sir Paul McCartney & Bruce Springsteen didn’t freak out like that when some local authority type pulled the plug on their recent London concert for running 5 mins over. They’ve been around almost forever. People who’ve never even heard of Green Day – except as one third of a prominently featured poster in Soylent Green – know about these guys. So you might think I’m exaggerating Armstrong’s flip out a bit. Then just look at the following video and see for yourself. Just make sure that you get any small children out of the room first because this guy gets his money’s worth out of the F word!

Now that was a bit much. It gets much worse. The stage manager who tried to hustle Amrstrong off of the stage should be warned – Armstrong knows who you are! He has your name. He’s written it down along with all the shit you did @ IHeartRadio. Then he destroyed it, but not after making a special coded copy and sealing in a special locked box called the “holding cell“. So he’s taking some time to sit around and figure out whether or not you’re worth messing with, so he can decide whether to open the holding cell. Or maybe he’s trying to figure out whether the holding cell is filed it under “:Basket Case“. Those kind of filing mix ups can happen – Fiona Apple.

Wondertrash: Junk Food For Thought

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