Heather Mills hairy lawsuit

1st the real news. Some of you know that there is a big Republican primary race going on. If you’ve been following then you know that it’s working out something like this:

Just don’t start referring to the Republican Primary Race as the WKRP Turkey Drop. They can get mad when they’ve been crossed and I don’t want it getting back to them that you picked it up here! Now on to the rest of the shit that’s fit to print!

It was Sir Paul McCartney who showed the world how annoying Heather Mills was, by marrying the woman. Since then she went on to wage a hi profile war of environmentalism, engage in a nasty divorce with Sir Paul, and blow up a neighbor’s dog with fire works – allegedly. The neighbor swears that it was some big to do at the Mills residence that lead to her dog’s demise. Mills was setting off fire works and a stray one hit the dog and detonated. Mills says that she had nothing to do with the dog’s explosion. So perhaps it was natural causes, like spontaneous canine combustion – you know how it is, sometimes a bitch is volatile!

That brings us to Heather Mills latest incident. Heather is a gal who likes to look her very best. Image can be important when you spend much of your life ticking people off. With that in mind Mills likes to keep herself groomed for success. So she used to patronize Brit stylist David Paul. Now Mills was divorcing at the time so didn’t have a lot of cash on hand. Since she was divorcing without a pre nup it seemed safe to assume that she’d be totally good for it. So Dave went ahead on her head.

That was between 2005 2007 and Paul still ain’t been paid. That’s rough cause Paul charges about $5000 a day for his coveted services. So you could understand Heather not paying when she was short on cash. However Heather ain’t short lately. That’s cause she got a windfall $US38.9 million from her McCartney divorce. So she’s in a position to make good on her debts. That’s why Daivd Paul is taking her to Los Angeles County Superior Court for the 80 000 he says she owes for his services rendered.

It’s easy to be hard on Heather, because no one likes her. However there’s a very good reason for a woman in her position do drop a wad on her hair. To find out what that reason is head straight over to thecelebrityviplounge!

From now on Mills gotta avoid any guy with the name Paul cause it’s just leads to negative publicity!

In other news Heidi Klum and Seal may not be divorcing. Sources say that the couple are in a rough patch. On a recent trip to Aspen there was a lot of screaming and yelling. Then there was a lot of talk about bailing out. Now reports have them back under the same roof and trying to work things out. They do have 4 kids so let’s hope that can get it together.

Speaking of bust ups that may not be happening Star Magazine is reporting that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are on the verge of a bust up. According to Star the pair are sick and tired of fighting over every detail of their lives together. Plus they barely spoke over the Christmas season. Also according to Star Jolie is upset of rumors of Brad’s child with another woman. Considering half of her kids with him are by other women you’d think that Jolie would be more cosmopolitan about it.

The Star then goes on to point out that Brad and Ange are really different people with Angie as a worldly type who get’s threatened by open relationships and Brad as a homebody that wants to retire and take care of the kids. Star goes on to point out that the split may not be permanent but one of those “breaks”. Now that’s hedging your bets in case it doesn’t happen!

Finally Joe Paterno has died. He was perhaps the greatest college football coach ever, but went out on a low note when he got caught in the middle of a sex abuse case. Paterno was 85 a died of lung cancer.

Now for a Wondertrash motivational poster!


So you were expecting Capt. Kirk on the Love Boat? … because the only difference between Capt. Steuben and Col. Klink is a war and bad publicity! I guess he can’t blame this one on Gilligan again!

wondertrash

Outbursts!

Charlie Sheen has just got a lot of competition!

https://i2.wp.com/www.fashionweeknews.com/images/phc_0706_dior_08.jpgRemember how I said that there’s more going on in the world of entertainment than Charlie Sheen? Well it’s going on now! The thing is that celebrities hold it in during the award season run up to the Oscars. No one wants to fuck up and lose their invitation to the ball. So celebs have to be on the best behavior. Naturally the walking around on egg shells gets to them. So you have an outburst just after the awards are clued up. Now on with the outburst!

https://i0.wp.com/www.gregrucka.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/wonderwomancvr202.jpg

Natalie Portman makes a stand @ the Oscars

Story No 1 is Oscar related. Remember when Natalie Portman showed up preggers and in her fancy dress; looking as pretty as Natalie Wood? Well there was a little more to her big Oscar evening than that. There was also some fashion politics going on. Portman is the newest face of Dior. as such she was expected to show up at the podium and collect her ward decked out in her sponsor’s finest. Portman didn’t wear Dior, but showed up in Rodarte. So why the last minute switch?

Mel Gibson gets some company

One of the big names at Dior was John Galliano. He was a big name cause he recently got fired. He was fired because he went all Mel Gibson on some poor woman at a restaurant in Paris. He told her that she had a ‘dirty Jewish face‘ and then went on to make some over dodger type remarks. For the record the chick wasn’t Jewish, but why let facts stop you when you’ve got a point to make? Galliano repeated that point on other occasions, and added remarks like “I love Hitler” and “you should be dead” suspected Jews. Unfortunately for Galliano some of these remarks got video taped!

http://www.youtube.com/get_player

When you get video taped shoot from the lip red handed like that it doesn’t leave you much room for self defense (Galliano claims that the couple mistook him for a bum and began insulting them when he tried to strike up a conversation with the random strangers). Just ask Michael Richards! It can also make people of the Jewish persuasion a little upset. They seem to take it almost personally or something! You know how high strung and temperamental they can be, especially when some brings up Hitler and says that they should be dead. Anyway the high strung, temperamental, and very Jewish Natalie Portman took it beyond personal and boycotted Dior on Oscar night. Then she released the following statement:

“I am deeply shocked and disgusted by the video of John Galliano’s comments that surfaced today,” she said in a statement issued last night. “In light of this video, and as an individual who is proud to be Jewish, I will not be associated with Mr. Galliano in any way. I hope at the very least, these terrible comments remind us to reflect and act upon combating these still-existing prejudices that are the opposite of all that is beautiful.”

So Nat’s pissed off. This may put her in violation of her contract with Dior, much the way that CBS is in violation of contract with Charlie Sheen. However it’s unlikely that Dior is gonna get vindictive and sue Portman for a ton. For one thing they’re very sensitive to anything that even smells like bad press. That’s why Galliano got fired, probably out of a cannon that was aimed at a nearby brick wall. It’s also why the good people at Dior tried to out a good face on their situation by issuing the following press release:

“I condemn most firmly the statements made by John Galliano which are total contradiction with the essential values that have always been defended by the House of Christian Dior,” President and CEO Sidney Toledano said in a brief statement released today.

“Today, because of the particularly odious nature of the behavior and words of John Galliano in a video made public this Monday, the Christian Dior house has decided to lay him off immediately and has begun firing procedures against him.”

Now Galliano has some fashion show on Friday. Word is that it’s still set to go through. It’ll probably be as joyful as a funeral too (JG will be in the role of the corpse). On the upside while there are gonna be a lot less celebs attending, there’s bound to be tons more paparazzi. As for Natalie, no word on whether she plans to start using her real name of Herschlag, or continue using her Hollywood slave name Portman.

Christina still a drunk

Christina and Matt Under the influence ... Christina and Matthew

Now fashion faux pas weren’t the only notable fuck ups in the volatile post Oscar period (drugs, alcohol, and pent up bad behavior can be a bad combo. When you add those stories the media was sitting on till after the Oscar, everything can add up into a career ender!). In the case of Christina Aguelira her career has been dead for a while. Certainly since “twilight’s last reaming” @ the Superbowl. That doesn’t mean that Chrissy still doesn’t have a few tricks up her sleeve, like getting arrested!

drunk and disorderly – now indistinguishable from Ashlee Simpson!

Seems Christina and her latest guy Matthew Rutler were out and about, driving around as it were in the wee hours of the morning through the West Hollywood area. There’s nothing wrong with that, unless you’re ripped to the gills; which both Christina & Matthew were. So they got pulled in. Matt was driving so he got slapped with a DUI and released on $30 000 bail. Christina, the passenger, got slapped with a misdemeanor. Law enforcement officials described her as drunk and unable to take care of herself. Of course that’s been Christina’s predicament for awhile now according to Lainey, who’s acting like she predicted this or something:

As for her condition – look, it’s not like we weren’t calling this way back in October. As I noted then:

Ultimately though, what’s really going on with Christina? As I’ve already noted, she’s bored. She’s been bored for a while. This is just the beginning.

Now that story is sort of confirmed by sources close to Christina, who claim that they’ve been trying to get the singer into rehab for weeks. That explains what happened at the Superbowl!

more stormy weather from Hurricane Heather?

Finally some one who we haven’t heard from for a while, though she never ever holds it in. She’s a noted animal activist who blew up her neighbor’s dog with fireworks. She’s also the ex wife of a former Beatle. That lady would be Heather Mills. Now Mills was best known back when she was hooked up with some one genuinely talented. However lack any real ability or interesting quality didn’t stop her from trying to hog more than her fair share of attention.

yelling & telling

The attention grabbing only got worse during the divorce. Maybe that’s because she started to get interesting, but not in a good way. For one thing she started raising an unholy stink in the media. Remember when she tossed a glass of water in the face of Sir Paul’s lawyer, telling the poor woman “you’ve been baptised!“?

ask Peter Andre – hell hath no fury like a page 3 glamor model

She also started telling the press that Sir Paul abused her. Actually that’s not exactly what Mill’s said. She isn’t the sort of person to mince words with delicate phrases like “abuse” when the words “drunken, drug abusing wife beater” are available. The sad part about that is that some of the shit stuck after Paul paid money to get some of his late wife’s diaries back. While some thought the man was merely trying to respect his late wife’s wishes by making sure her journals remained private, some were beginning to suspect that McCartney had something to hide.

Heather gets choked up in the bedroom – PR firm says “come clean”

Well it looks like Sir Paul has a clean bill of health. At least that’s according to Mills ex PR firm. According to Parapluie – the PR firm – they believe that Mills was being less than truthful when she made claims like, “I could kill [Paul], last night, he tried to choke me. The marriage is over.” I’d give Heather the benefit of the doubt and call that one a half truth. While it’s doubtful Paul ever got violent with her, I’m sure she meant it when she said that she could kill him and that the marriage was over!

an echo of your last goodbye

There were some other things that Heather stretched the truth about too, according to the good folk @ Parapluie. Like her Dancing With the Stars money. Poor Ms Joan of Arc claims that she squandered every cent she earned on the show in charitable donations to the unworthy, ’cause that’s just the kind of noble soul she is. If you believe that one then you’d better stay the fuck off of Craigslist! In fact the firm is also accusing Mills of not paying them the money she owes them. That’s why they’re taking her too court for $168 000 in unpaid bills. They’re already forwarding stuff to TMZ too, so brace yourself for more Mills!

wondertrash

Volcanic Heather Mills due for another erruption?

Like a temporally dormant volcano Heather Mills is starting to rumble back into activity. Never one to let sleeping dogs lie, Mills no claims that she’s on a crusade against the press. Says Mills: “I stopped reading stories about myself a number of years ago. I just thought ‘this is just a waste of time’, but recently I’ve been going through the Internet, clearing up [rumours], I’ve got five apologies so far from [the] British media and I’ve got many thousands to go. I plan to clear the Internet so my daughter doesn’t read all the lies when she’s 12.”

The thing about the media is that if you stop making a spectacle of your self they eventually leave you alone. Mills seems to like a great big fight, and it’s precisely when the press stops harassing her that she swings back into action, declaring a one woman war against lies, meat, or what ever bee happens to be in her bonnet a the moment. We can only hope that her neighbours us the same precautions as volcano dwellers and keep a discreet distance from Hurricane Heather. The last high profile case of collateral damage was when she accidentally blew up a neighbour’s dog with fireworks, and you can never be sure when Heather’s fireworks are gonna go off! Judging by her disturbing rumblings, she might be about due!

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