Jesse James and Kat Von D Split?

Remember when Jesse James went with Kat Von D? That was after he humiliated his ex wife – America’s Sweetheart and Oscar Winner Sandra Bullock. Jesse cheated on Sandy with a bevy of tattooed white power sex fetish chicks. Naturally people were disgusted and wanted Bullock to dump James ass, and the rest of him, asap. They didn’t have to wait long to get their wish.

So when Kat Von D announced her hook up with rebounding James people were ambivalent. ON the one hand they thought that the gruesome twosome were a perfect match. KVD is heavily tattooed. She has also had a brush with white power. During her reality TV days she sent her Jewish boss a hate filled racially charged e mail, which she later denied sending, and even later admitted to bu claimed that she didn’t mean it. The back story on that is KVD was working for a guy called Ami James on Miami Ink. James is off the Jewish persuasion – although it’s not clear who persuaded him. He and Kat had a falling out, so Kat left to do her own think. however she left James a little something to remember her by:

That’s Kat – thinking with her heart instead of using her head. Anyway the combination of racism and body art, not to mention the general sleaze factor, seemed to make her the Jesse James dream girl. They did seem to have so much in common what with being fringe culture border line personality types.

On the other hand they didn’t think that it was appropriate for James to be bouncing back into the arms of love, or whatever, so soon. He seemed to have skipped the whole penance period. It’s not that anyone considered Kat Von D to be any great prize, except for those who never out grew their heavy metal stage. It’s just that people objected to JJ being happy so soon after making everyone else so uncomfortable and Sandy Bullock so unhappy. After all he basically ruined her Oscar night!

Well never fear. Things seemed to have worked out – if not for the best then at least ‘worked out”. KVD seems to have moved on from JJ. She’s recently been spotted out and about with other fringe types with borderline personalities (Not Mel Gibson – recent bad experiences have left him gun shy). That doesn’t mean that she and JJ are dunzo. Kat gets around and there’s plenty to go around. However it doesn’t look good for the love birds. Now that the publicity factor has worn off there’s not a lot that JJ can do for KVD. He’s a failed reality TV star and presently fading too fast to even be worthwhile tabloid fodder. So KVD has every reason to move on. If it can happen to Dave & Courtney it can happen to anyone (Arquette might have been more interesting if he’d cheated with tattooed neo nazi porn stars then revealing that Cox just got tired of being his mom – the mom fetish might have been fun in Mrs. Robinson with Anne Bancroft and Dustin Hoffman, but in real life it’s a creepy drag!). Anyone except Demi & AShton – they’re in love and they don’t care who knows it!

So that should provide closure for almost everyone. Everyone except those anticipating an eventually JJ – KVD reality TV show, and poor Sandra Bullock. However even she might be getting a second shot at love. If the rumours are true Sandy is considering hooking up with the one person with whom she shares so much in common: public image, career trajectory, and unfortunate love life – none other than Jennifer Aniston! Naw, that last part ain’t true – but imagine if it were!

A meme is born

Every so often an idea catches on and goes viral. When it does it’s called a meme, and it’s usually a picture or gif, maybe even a short video clip like Keyboard Cat. The latest such meme involves Matrix actor Keanu Reeves.

Like many successful celebrities Keanu’s had a rough life. His long term girlfriend drove her car off a cliff while under the influence of cocaine. This happened shortly after their child was delivered still born (Marylin Manson was implicated in the death of Keanu’s girlfriend since he is believed to have been the one to supply her with the cocaine. According to some reports he then either sent her home in her car, or called her to come back to his place after she’d successfully made it home.). That’s a terrible blow but it didn’t stop Keanu from being one of the nicest guys in the business. He bought crew members on the Matrix their own motor bike, for one thing. Still those kind of tragedies have to leave a mark.

Whether or not they left an imprint, the hunky actor has been seen looking sad quite a bit lately. The recent pictures of Keanu on his birthday, shown wandering the streets of New York City looking lost and disheveled, and stopping for a solitary snack of a cupcake, made therounds of the Internet. Since Reeves is one of the genuinely best liked of Hollywood actors, the actor’s apparent angst made his many fans uncomfortable. As often happened they responded to the discomfort with black humour. By black humour I mean that a whole bunch of “Sad Kenau” photmanips began showing up on message boards. Here are a few such photomanips that popped up on the Internet’s premier celebrity gossip message board Gossiprocks:

Now all y’all can have a portable Sad Keanu!

So what are we to make of this? Making a game out of some one’s sadness seems cruel, but it might not be personal. It might just be an attempt to understand the phenomenon by re contextualizing it: putting it in combination after combination after combination in an attempt to gain some feel or insight. It might also be an attempt to deal with our own awkwardness in the presence of that kind of low key “I’d ask ‘what’s the point is I still gave a damn” malaise (Keanu does seem surreally detached in the original photos and the copies seem to emphasize that). If we can say one thing with relative certainty, it could give birth to new and more dangerous memes, like Prancing Michael Sera or Silly Leo Dicaprio!

Incidentally this whole thing got started with an article reporting that “Sad Keanu talks to himself alone on birthday“. So that started people speculating on how rough things were for him. Now it should be pointed out that talking to yourself isn’t unusual for people in that profession. Even some of the most grounded Hollywood actors have been known to have an ‘off moment’, like this!


Rick Sanchez Fired From CNN – The Damned Jews Got Another One!

the following is written in conspiracy theory form, as a satire of ideas that are becoming more apparent in our society

News, views, and Jews!

Rick Sanchez used to be an on air personality with CNN. Nowadays he’s hotter under the collar than George Dubya in a burqa. So what’s got Rickie’s hijab in a twist? Well Jon Stewart doesn’t like him and only gets away with it because the media is controlled by Jews! That puts guys like him at a disadvantage. Guys like Sanchez, are in his words guys whose parents worked hard, who were never quite white enough (“white enough” is WASP as defined by the ruling secret Jewish kabal!), and who never had anything handed to him.

Didn’t Carroll O Connor used to sing this song at the beginning of All In The Family?

Guys like Stewart, on the other hand, are guys from the college educated middle class. Their father’s have degrees, while their mothers have part time jobs of choice that allow them to maintain their dignity and afford pretentious off season vacation packages. Their parents send them to prep schools where they wore penny loafers with dimes in them just to be assholish, and learn to stick their nose in the air by thinking that everyone else is stupid.

a couple of teabags shy of a pot, or just thought no one was listening to Sirius

So naturally there’s an ‘animosity’. That animosity spilled out last night during an astonishing Mel Gibson type radio rant out featuring Sanchez on Pete Dominick’s Sirius XM show. Rick was pissed off about getting replaced as CNN anchor in favour of an Elliot “Quagmire” Spitzer Show (The Jews again! When will they leave this man in peace?), and to promote his perhaps ironically titled new book “Conventional Idiocy“. Sanchez was mighty steamed about getting the ax, so he had a full head of steam to work off.

Guys like the snob on MASH, not the drunks on Cheers!

Now he had the explanation for CNN. The guys there just don’t get it. They don’t get it because they don’t get where he’s coming from. Where he’s coming from – in more or less his own words – is an ‘off white’ background of hard knocks where dads did real jobs for chicken feed and their sons didn’t get into Ivy League colleges with a letter from the bishop or local state senator. So when they see him they just see some ‘latino’.

“It’s not just the right that does this. ‘Cause I’ve known a lot of elite, Northeast establishment liberals that may not use this as a business model, but deep down, when they look at a guy like me, they look at a … they see a guy automatically who belongs in the second tier and not the top tier … White folks usually don’t see it, but we do, those of us who are minorities … Here, I’ll give you my example, it’s this, ‘You know what, I don’t want you anchoring anymore. I really don’t see you as an anchor, I see you more as a reporter. I see you more as a Jon Quinones.’ You know, the guy on ABC. That’s what he told me, he told me he saw me as Jon Quinones. Now, did he not realize that he was telling me, ‘when I see you I think of Hispanic reporters?’ ‘Cause in his mind, I can’t be an anchor, an anchor’s what you give the high profile white guys.”

Rickie has some ‘splainin’ to do

Now what Rickie actually says is that when he sees when he looks at Jon Quinones is a Hispanic reporter. Though “Jon Quinones” are fighting words, let’s not get sidetracked on side issues when there are bigger fish to fry. Fish like that little know it all Jon Stewart. Stewart is similar to those North Eastern Bean Towner types except more so. More so means raised in New Jersey with over educated parents and a temperature controlled silver spoon up his ass (that probably came with batteries & a remote control – you know what ‘those people’ are like with science & gadgets). That’s why the little snot boy just has no respect for anyone who isn’t a member of his little junior chamber of commerce clique of privileged, uptight, smugness. However let’s let Sanchez say it for himself:

“It happens all the time. I think to a certain extent, Jon Stewart and Colbert are the same way. I think Jon Stewart’s a bigot … Yeah, I think he’s a bigot … I think he looks at the world through his mom who was a schoolteacher and his dad who was a physicist, or something like that.

“Great, I’m so happy that he grew up in a suburban, middle class New Jersey home with everything that you could ever imagine.”

Jon Stewart thinks he’s a big man – a regular Jerry Lewis!

Now bigot is a strong word. When Dominick asked Sanchez to be more specific – that’s supposed to be his job as a serious journalist, Sanchez comes up short. It was as if he were just throwing the word around for effect. Just to prove he’s serious though, he reiterates:

“I think Jon’s show is essentially prejudicial … against anybody who doesn’t agree to his point of view, which is very much a white, Liberal establishment point of view. He can’t relate to a guy like me, he can’t relate to a guy whose dad worked all his life. He can’t relate to somebody who grew up poor,” Sanchez said.

Dominick, who was previously the “Daily Show’s” warm-up comic, continued to press Sanchez for specific examples of bigoted conduct by Stewart.

Sanchez ended up attempting to back off the comments slightly. “I’ll take the word ‘bigot’ back. I’ll say prejudicial — uninformed,” he said.

Rick Sanchez’s minority report

Now Sanchez may not have all his facts straight – which as a serious journalist makes him a prime target for satirists like Stewart – but he does have a point. Jewart does seem to pick on Sanchez for some reason. Maybe it’s because he’s intimated by Sanchez’s macho. Maybe it’s because he resents Stewart’s – supposedly – up tight upper middle class Jewish American upbringing. It’s the kind of angst non Jews feel every time they see Biloxi Blues: “If only I’d grown up a whiny little momma’s boy then I could be funny too!“. Then again Stewart picks on almost everyone. So how does he keep getting away with it since he’s not that funny?

The appeal of the Daily Show is lost on me. It seems awkwardly satirical with some downplayed PC ass kissing thrown in. It’s hardly good enough to justify the fuss. In fact it’s barely better than Bill Maher (though much less obnoxious!). Once the genuinely funny and genuinely clever Stephen Colbert came along with some genuine satire, Stewart should have been obsolete. Rick Sanchez has an answer for that one too.

those kind? “Nose” kind!

You see There are a lot of guys like Jon Stewart at CNN. There are a lot of guys like that at other networks to. Whether by consensus of mutual interest or deliberate, nefarious design – these no gooders control the media! When I say a lot of guys I don’t mean Freemasons, though they control freemasonry (and Hollywood, Las Vegas, & the Vatican! That’s part of their insidious plan to control the world by controlling America, and to control America by controlling the entertainment, the gambling and the religion. Although America doesn’t identify it’s self as a Catholic country, a disturbing number of American’s are, and even one President was, Catholic! You dirty mics no who you are! The fact that they managed to get a Catholic elected president, but managed to keep their boys behind the scenes by not getting a Jew elected president should tell you everything about how these types operate! As of this time Disneyland is still in pretty good shape, but it’s getting Jewed up with a vengeance!). They don’t have secret handshakes – though then again they might for all we really know. These guys are Jews, and they like to look out for each other. Kind of like a mafia! Here’s exactly what Sanchez had to say on that:

“Yeah, very powerless people. [laughs] He’s such a minority. I mean, you know, please. What are you kidding? I’m telling you that everybody who runs CNN is a lot like Stewart and a lot of people who run all the other networks are a lot like Stewart. And to imply that somehow they, the people in this country who are Jewish, are an oppressed minority?”

That was both concise and lucid! He summed it up admirably! Now the powers that be, and I shouldn’t have to tell you who that is *winkstein* *winkstein* are trying to shut him up! As of posting time CNN had made an announcement that Sanchez was no longer working with their channel. I guess he must’ve violated some of their little Nazi thought crime rules or something.

Dirty Sanchez, or was Mel Gibson right?

Anyway they made this announcement way in advance of any announcement by Sanchez about his future. They didn’t want to give the man a chance to step out with dignity! Not that those kind understand dignity. You’d think that they pushed Sanchez because they were afraid that Rickie wouldn’t do the honourable thing and jump! So if there’s been no official statement from Sanchez on this, it’s because one is no longer necessary now that the deck has been stacked! So when attempts to reach Sanchez for an official comment on why he went Mel Gibson on the radio repeatedly went unanswered, it’s not because he’s gutless or anything. Let’s just say that the Jews got another one! Besides I’m sure that Rick is taking some needed time off to catch up on reading the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Did you know that reading that thing is like reading today’s news! It’s like it was written by Nostrodamus or something!

BTW since my eyes first started opening to the shadow world behind this one I’ve learned some amazing things. Here’s the most important things you have to know about the World Zionist Conspiracy!

1. Einstein stole the Theory of Relativity while still working as a patent clerk. The thesis was included as part of some guy’s perpetual motion invention!

2. “High profile white guys” mean Jews. The ‘white elite‘ are the front people, like Rockefeller was for the Rothschilds when he created the Federal Reserve by sinking the Titanic!

3. Jews have suppressed evidence of an alien crash at Area 51 to maintain faith in an Old Testament god, which is their lock on Western Culture. Of course they also try to undermine tradional values, but that just the Hegelian Dialectic in operation!

4. Jews have been spreading the rumour that Jesus Christ was Jewish for centuries!

5. The Jewish didn’t build Stonehenge, but repeatedly tried cheating Stone Age Briton’s out of it!

6. Every time you pay your cell phone bill portions of the money go to sponsor Israel!

7. The Jews not only started Hurricane Katrina, but then tried to blame it on black people!

8. Bill Clinton is secretly Jewish!

9. Jews killed Princess Diana because they feared the influence that Dodi Al Fayd might gain!

10. Some of your best friends might be Jewish. Even worse, you might not know it! They routine anglicize their names, Like Bernie Schwartz to Tony Curtis. This way they can inveigle themselves into society and work it’s ruin. It’s like a kind of Fifth Column right here in our midst. So be on guard, lest they come for you too! My advice – never trust a guy who’s been circumcised, or a woman who’s had a nose job!

Now a little more of Mr Sanchez and some borderline comments about the pres. Wait for it cause it’s about 1 minute into the video.

Well I guess Sanchez’s goose is cooked, and rightly so. His career looks like it’s going the same way as Mel Gibson’s, Michael Richard’s, Don Imus’, etc. Who knew that world was still such a racist place? Still, if Sarah Palin has shown us anything it’s that just because some one has no business having a career doesn’t mean that the public has heard the last of them.

Maybe Sanchez will get onto reality TV via race rehab. Now that’s not a bad idea since at the rate celebs are fucking up in public the powers that be – Jewish or otherwise – are gonna have to do something or their won’t be a celeb left that isn’t racist, drug addicted, a sex offender, or otherwise retarded (I can still say that because the retarded aren’t a race, right? Or are they?). Who knows, maybe inflammatory FOX News can do something for him. They’ve aired more extreme, equally insane views on their network. Glenn Beck, with his chalk board and greasy finger of Vick’s, is already running his news show on an X Files basis! FOX is America’s No 1 source for news related information, just like The Daily Show is America’s No 1 source for news related commentary.


Don’t call me fucking Joey!

everything old is loud again!

So what’s it like to be a famous actor, and a cast member of one of televisions most beloved sit coms? What MASH was for baby boomers Friends was for Gen X’ers – though without the political protest, idealism, of pretense of concern with anything out side or beyond one’s own limited existence and confined social circle (Still it was a very good show, MASH I mean). Now if Matt LeBlanc wasn’t the Alan Alda of the show – that honor goes unquestionably to Jennifer Ansiton, he was certainly the Wayne Rogers, or perhaps even MacLean Stevenson (BTW that makes Courtney Cox the Hotlips, Daivd Schwimmer is Frank Burns, and Matthew Perry – wait a minute maybe Perry is Alda and Aniston is more of a Mike Farrell…). The point is that he was no Gary Burghoff – that’s Lisa Kudrow’s role! Yet that’s exactly what the entertainment media is making him out to be. Naturally LeBlanc is pissed!

How pissed? Well Matt was over in Merry Ole England recently to give an interview to the UK Mirror (the Mirror is one of those fishwrappers frequently involved in multi million dollar libel cases, when they’re not paying a small fortune to some prostitute to tell them how long David Beckham’s dick is – so they kind of serve as an inspiration for online gossip bloggers!) . Matt however wasn’t so merry. While sitting down for the interview LeBlanc accidentally knocked over a glass of water. The reporter naturally assumed that LeBlanc was referencing his lovably thick Friends character and blurted “You all right, Joey? How YOU do-in?” The paper should’ve sent some one along who was experienced enough to know that you don’t say things like that to a former somebody. I guess they just didn’t think Joey was worth the consideration.

Joey LeBlanc thought that it was worth consideration. He considered it enough at the time to blow his stack over it. By blow his stack I mean that he said “I’m not Joey. Don’t you dare call me Joey. The papers say I’m finished, so don’t call me f**king Joey. I want to leave that all behind. I’m moving on.” Just in case the reporter didn’t catch that Joey went on “I’m not Joey. For the last time. I’m not f**king Joey. It’s Matt. Matt LeBlanc. Joey’s in the past. I’m trying to do something new.”

Now that’s not what Joey usually says. Joey usually tries to make the best of it by telling people what they want to hear. Things like “If people really believe me as that character, I have done my job. I don’t look on it as a negative thing. I take it as a compliment.“, which got brought up In a recent interview.

Now if that’s eating shit and calling it sugar, then it’s only because the man is a consummate professional. Kind of the way Lynda Carter was – during her drinking period – whenever some owner from one of the thousands of online Wonder Woman fans sites would call her up for some comments to add to his latest podcast. If Lynda was 3 sheets to the wind at the time she might be heard getting impatient, and even showing some low key sarcasm -“Oh yeah, good ole Wonder Woman. We gotta keep ole Wonder Woman kicking – woo hooo!

Also you have to consider the strain that Joey is under recently. His last show was the short lived Friends spin off Joey which didn’t make 13 episodes. His new project is a freak show called Matt LeBlanc where Joey plays a character called Matt LeBlanc that isn’t the real Matt LeBlanc, but based on public perceptions about who LeBlanc is. So there’s probably way too much Joey in there. Also it might mess with Joey’s sense of reality – that’s tenuous in actors at the best of times. More over actors, unlike regular folk, don’t find the best in themselves during adversity.

So perhaps Joey thought he was in character like Joaquin Phoenix on Letterman a year back; and again a couple of nights ago. Or even like William Shatner on Saturday Night Live when he told the nerds to “get a life“. Now if they’d listened to that there’d never have been a comic con 2010! Everyone knew Capt. Kirk didn’t mean it – if people got a life than no one would watch TV and movies!

It was the same kind of sly self parody (on Joey’s part) that has made William Shatner once again a household name to a generation of people to young to remember Star Trek as anything but a reference for the Next Generation Movies and Deep Space: Voyager – “7 of 9, summon the Bjork!” JOey has been around long enough to know that no matter how hopeless associated with a role you have become there is an eventual chance to get past it by owning it through self referential culturally relevant parody. Just like Betty White! Unless you’re Gary Coleman. So pipe down Joey, you’ll be just fine in 15 to 25 years!


Mel Gibson’s slut under criminal investigation!

Meloxie blues

THINGS HAVE TAKEN A BAD TURN FOR Mel Gibson ever since he got arrested for drunk driving, made some anti Semitic, anti freemasonry, conspiracy type comments, left his wife of almost 30 years, hooked up with a plastic Russian whore, then made a lot of threatening comments about her on tape recorded telephone calls that some how got posted to gossip sites like TMZ and Radaronline. That’s the nature of life; it has it’s ups and downs. The good news for Mel, & his many fans is that he’s gone from a down turn to an upswing. Ironically that’s due to those many many tapes Oksana Grigorieva made.

Seems that Ms. Grigorieva and Mel had some kind of understanding. It went something like “I won’t release these tapes and ruin your image, and consequently your career; if you pay me an awful lot of money.” At least that’s what Oxie said in some e mails she sent Mel’s way. Since that’s a felony – blackmail – & since Oxie was silly enough to spell that out, the authorities are taking a closer look at the whole sad sorry mess.

Now Gibson claimed this all along. He said that Grigorieva demanded $10 mill to keep the tapes under wraps. Naturally no one believed him because he was a rabid racist psycho. However since the incriminating e mails have surfaced, the The Los Angeles County District Attorney is taking a closer look at the extortion angle. In fact according to ROL, they’re considering whether they have enough to charge Oxie! According to an unnamed source in law enforcement – by way of the National Enquirer: “These are the text messages that Mel’s camp turned over the Sheriff’s detectives as potential evidence of the extortion claim.

So how much trouble is Oxie in? See for yourself by linking to Radaronline, where they’ve posted exerts of the e mails. That’s kind of ironic ’cause Oxie made pretty good use of ROL while she was trying to nail the lid on Mel’s coffin shut. Now they’re busy helping Oxie on her way to a jail cell. One thing about professional gossips is that we’re equal opportunity nuisances operating without discrimination. Oxie might have figured that out when the paparazzi she set loose on Mel started following her around and asking her embarrassing question like “Did Mel threaten to kill you today?” and “Did you blow Mel?“. So suffice it to say that the publicity game is a double edged sword. If you play with fire, you might get burnt!

BTW & speaking of the publicity game, step one of Mel’s rehabilitation seems to be a guest starring role on hit TV series Mad Men. Mad Men maker Matt Weiner is a big fan of Gibson’s and is in talks with Mel’s people regarding a series of appearances for the controversial actor. In fact he may even have an ongoing or reoccurring role in the series. Now appearing on MM would be a shrewd move for Gibson. It might even be a better format to reintroduce him to the public than the usual vehicle Dancing For Redemption, I mean Dancing With the Stars! Though don’t underestimate DWTS. If they can make Heather Mills and Bristol Palin likeable, the show is still a force to be reckoned with!

BTW remember to keep checking wondertrash. It may not be the most reliable gossip source, but it is consistent!

PS: A little more back story on Mel & Oxie – when the tapes were released some of them featured Mel making disparaging remarks about Oxie’s mothering skills by way of her son, Alexander, by Timothy Dalton. Mel referred to the lad as a mess. Tabloids were quick to push Mad Max vs 007 stories. Dalton did come out of the wood work, but when asked about Mel responded “Absolutely no comment“.

In fact he seemed much more concerned with getting the boy away from Oxie than in taking on Gibson. Oxie balked cause she said it would make her look like a bad mother in any upcoming custody hearings with Gibson. Since this was said to Dalton that leaves only a limited number of ways that the statement could’ve gotten out. After dealing with Slutsana for over 14 years I guess 007 figured that he couldn’t take her on directly. That would make Oxie a more dangerous whorebag than any of the sexy Russian spies James Bond had to deal with in the whole campy movie series. That is with the possible exception of the woman who had the extendable knife blade in her shoe.


French Pres Married to a Whore

Carla the Ambitious to former journalist, turned biographer, Besma Lahouri, French 1st lady Carla Bruni’s past was so checkered that she needed an extensive media make over.The make over tried to create a likable and even demure Bruni. The real Bruni is a ambitious woman who’s agenda’s set herself as no 1 priority. She’s a woman who has been described as a “female Don Juan“. She’s also been described as solitary, capricous, and demanding. How demanding? Well she forces her husband French President Nicolas Sarkozy to socialize with her ex lovers for one thing. There are a lot of ex lovers.

20 odd years

Now the singer/model has gotten around in the past 20 odd years. She was pursuing a career as a singer – not very credibly – so she slept with anyone who could help her a long the path. That’s normal in the music biz. These wern’t just no names she was gettin’ it on with either. She’s been bedded by such sundry paramours as Eric Clapton and Sir Mick Jagger! Many of these people keep popping up again and again in the lives of France’s 1st couple. Says author: “Since he married the woman that some called a ‘man-eater’, (Mr Sarkozy) has to put up every day with this burdensome tribe. Singers, philosophers, lawyers, bosses, men of the press or politics.” They often show up at Bruni’s Riveria Villia. Tedious dinner parties with your spouse’s wind bag ex lovers sounds like some kind of existentialist mightmare!

an empty shell

Lahouri does more than dish up dirty details. The author also shares their insights into Burni’s character. According to the excerpts. Burni’s character might be inferred to be “whorish”. Of course the “maneater” crack got made. Some other stuff got said, too. Stating that “I did not set out to be unkind but to reveal what she really is… The image of Carla Bruni is totally false,” the author then describes Bruni as “attractive and impetuous, free and calculating… faithful in friendship and fickle in love” (Add “psychopathic” & “oversexed” and she could be a bond girl!). Now that pretty much is the public perception of Bruni, but Lahouri get’s more specific. For one thing Bruni’s foundation to fight AIDS is a sham! Lahouri’s exact words are “an empty shell“. Looks good on her resume though.

Coming out Carla: touched & retouched

Not that Bruni can be blamed for that. When she started going with Sarkozy, she got all kinds of advice about cleaning up her “rock groupie” image. Bruni herself had warned that “they are going to say a lot of things about me, about my past life. Things, photographs are going to come out!” So that lead presidential aide Pierre Charon onto a Henry Higgins trip. His mission was to turn a Madonna Like over ambitious aspiring singer music groupie into a creature of effortless chic. That transformation involved a world wind romance and a total image make over! The image make over also included extensive plastic surgery. Fortunately Bruni had a guy on hand – she’s been seeing a Paris plastic surgeon for 20 years! Bruni has always denied getting touch ups.

Click this bar to view the full image.

the kind of a gal who if told nude pix of her were coming out might ask how recent they were and whether or not she looked good in them

As for Charon, he’s still guarding the image. He personally tried to deter Lahouri from writing her book. There were no ugly threats; he merely opined that the life of Ms Sarkozy was just “too complicated” for a bio treatment. That didn’t deter Lahouri from her exhaustive 2 year investigation into Bruni. What emerged was a picture of Bruni as one of a new group of public persons; the political celebrity (what’s a political celebrity? They’re some one who set out to be famous and found themselves in politics by chance. Think Sarah Palin, who wanted to be a sportscaster.). It’s the story of an ambitious woman who was determined to rise in the world one way or another; and who might as well have been come to public attention as a Mrs Eric Clapton than as a political wife. Carla herself doesn’t seem like a woman who was too particular about how she got there. She might have been just as much at home in a reality TV series as in the Elysee Palace. Carla, A Secret Life is due out later this month!

PS Ms Bruni – Sarkozy seems to evoke almost as much excitement as Sarah Palin. Perhaps some people hold her rock music background against her now that she gone legit and entered the world of politics without having to organize a benefit concert and get knighted. Rock music does have a reputation; one that’s almost as bad as politics. So I guess that the moral of the story is that if you must get involved in show business, then do it using an alter ego, to protect you secret identity.

Secret identities are very important and even more so if you’re famous. Apart from the good fun of sneaking around, getting away with shit, and taking off clothes in odd places; it affords a layer of personal privacy that often gets stripped away when you step out of the day to day world and into the glass house for the sake of fortune & whatever.

Besides, all the golden and silver age Hollywood stars had ’em. Tony Curtis was really Bernie Schwartz, John Wayne started out as Marion Morrison before he became the Duke – when asked how he got that nickname Wayne explained that as a boy his pet dog was “Duke” and peoples tarted calling him after the dog, and of course Marylin Munroe started out as Norma Jean Baker. It makes you wonder sometimes whether Rock Hudson is buried as Roy Fitzgerald, or under his studio slave name. So remember to keep you super powers under your shirt the next time you go out, or something like the following might happen to you!


Is Lady Gaga a soul stealer?

More Gaga

Lady Gaga
has been accused of some weird shit, like being a hermaphrodite, being a bad influence, being a druggie, corrupting the youth of America, ripping off Madonna’s routine, and being a member of the Illuminati (according to Tila Tequila). Now she’s been accused of soul stealing. If she hasn’t exactly stolen some one’s sol then she is being accused of stealing their work and style.

Gaga used to work with a young Russian woman named Lina Morgana. Now Lina’s mother Yana has come out and claimed that Gaga ripped off Lina’s act – so that get’s Gaga off the hook with Madonna at least. According to Yana, her daughter Lina – who committed suicide – pioneered the act. Then Gaga turned around and ripped it off. She imitated everything from Lina dress style to her music.

Even worse Yana claims that gaga misappropriated Lina’s life. Gaga alsways claims to have had a dark and depressed upbringing. Ms Morgana points out that Gaga was raised pretty well off. Gaga even went to an elite Catholic girls school, where she was a class mate of Nicky Hilton. According to Morgana, Gaga had everything she wanted out of the world. It was her own daughter who was dark and depressed.

So the basis of Morgana’s complaint is that Gaga is using her daughter as the material for her own act. Worse still Gaga is doing this without crediting Lina. With that in mind Yana Morgana wants the rights to release some Gaga-Morgana material. That’s about 12 songs that the gals worked on together. Now with the right to release them comes also the right to cash in on them.

Soul stealing is a harsh term. Unless Gaga has been taking voodoo lessons from Angelina Jolie, this seems more like a case of some one ripping off borrowing from a former partner. In entertainment they do it all the time. It’s usually called inspiration, unless they get caught at it. Then it’s called a tribute. If this is an uncredited tribute then Gaga has done pretty good by it. SO why then shouldn’t Yana Morgana get a piece of the action. Her name is just as catchy as Gaga’s (another crucial link in the chain of evidence!), and her daughter is in the 12 videos! Family is family, but it’s funny how money usually has something to do with it.

don’t leave home without it – but know when to keep it in your pants!

In other news Divine Browne is getting married. Now if you don’t know who that is then just think Hugh Grant. Browne was the chick he got arrested with back when he got caught by LA’s finest getting a 40$ blow job in the back seat of a car. Grant tried explaining that one away by claiming that Browne was an old friend. that may be true – but the police suspected that he was seeing her in her professional capacity. So off to jail he went; and long enough for a nifty mug shot!

Well Hugh’s life and career went into a tailspin after that. His significant other Liz Hurley, walked out on him. This in spite of the fact that she’d been screwing Tom Sizemore (they met on the set of Passenger 51) long before Browne was ever heard of. Sizemore regarded seducing Hurley as a triumph, since he hated Grant. Tom says that during his wild animalistic sex with Hurley (that’s right, according to Sizemore, Hurley was a tiger in the sack!), he kept picturing Grant’s “smug handsome” face. That set most folk to wondering why Sizemore was thinking about a guy while he was doing a girl.

Since Hurley and Grant were a package deal sold to the American public as “high class sex” their split up was a career set back for Grant. His solicitation arrest didn’t do much for his shy Englishman image either. Anyway he was soon recast from Mickey Blue Eyes type roles, to ones where he played creepy cad types. He also starting flipping out at paparazzi on a regular basis. The was photoed trying to nail one annoying shutter bug with a can of baked beans (only in England!) – that story is in the Wondertrash archives. He then went on to kick another guy in the groin.

Hugh was a troubled man during that period. Then just when it looked like things had blown over, Divine Browne comes back out of the wood work. The former hooker has announced that she’s becoming an honest woman, and getting herself hitched up. Naturally she wants to invite Hugh. Understandable since Grant has done so much for her. More than the $40!

Since Browne’s brush with fame she’s pocketed almost 2 million in media deals. So she’s marrying as a rich woman. Since Grant made this possible it only seems right and good that a place be set for him amongst the wedding guests. Whether he’ll show or not is another matter. My advice – be a good sport, show up, and drink as much champagne as they’ll let you. After all, Hugh earned it!

Now for celebrity trivia purposes Hugh’s arrest number – s shown in the above mugshot – is BK4454813. The Illuminati will know exactly what that means (adds up to 32), and why Hugh is so unhappy about it. As for the rest of us, it makes a nifty computer password (not mine!). It also serves as a reminder that anyone can get into a little trouble with the law. Even the best of good guys.

Wonder Woman (1987) 220 - Batman - City - Police Car - Handcuffs - Pistol - J Jones

The above instance it might have had something to do with repeated cases of indecent exposure!

We can only hope that Wonder Woman has learned her lesson. However I fear that like Lindsay Lohan, Wonder Woman is incorrigible!

Wonder Woman is incorrigible!

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