Big Love

Britney Spears is a sexual terrorist!
If you’ve heard about it then you’ve heard right – Britney Spears’ ex paparazzi boyfriend Adnan Gahlib is in danger of deportation. Not back to Birmingham, England either but to war torn Afghanistan! Seems that Mr Ghalib had a few run ins with some officers of the court. In fact he even pinned one process server by the knees with the bumper of his car.
She’s Chaotic and 5 kinds of toxic
Normally this is a matter of little consequence for your average smug and ungrateful America, but for Adnan it could spell major trouble. You see even though Adnan has not seen Afghanistan since he was 5, he never did bother to do anything about his citizenship. Now that was an oversight because if the court finds him guilty of a felony and deports him, then he could be getting a very up close and personal look at one of the most dangerous spots on the planet. Since Afghanistan is still on the State Dept’s shit list, I’m not sure how much leniency he can expect. Who could’ve guessed when Britney plucked him out from obscurity and at random that he would turn out like this? Screwing a rich, famous, and confused young woman might’ve seemed like a good idea at the time. If he gets booted out it could really put a monkey wrench in his plans to sell a tell all and this infamous sex tape. Still whenever in the history of entertainment gossip has anything like this ever happened? Britney Spears still is the best PR in years!
Staying on our love theme, HBO and it’s show Big Love, about the sexiest believers in Christendom – those swingin’ Mormons – looks like it’s ready to attract more trouble by breaking more ground. An episode to be aired on Sunday shows one of the churches top secret rituals, called an ‘endowment’. Church insiders insist that though this is too sacred to be profaned, and that people might not understand it taken out of it’s larger context; it is really one of their sects charming little eccentricities. It’s where church members learn how to get past the angels and into heaven by learned secret handshakes and pass words. Sounds kind of Masonic!
Anyway the Church is threatening to boycott the show, and HBO, unless the cable network comes to it’s sense. HBO says that they’re deeply sorry about giving away Mormon secrets, and that they hope the Latter Day Saints won’t be upset – or worse still boycott – but they’re sticking to their guns. The show is gonna go on! I don;’t think that the Tony Soprano network has too many Mormon regulars anyway. Then again with all this talk about ‘endowments’ and secret handshakes you can’t really be sure what weirdness they might be into. You gotta say one thing, that no matter how much trouble sex stirs up, playing with fire is still one of America’s great national pass times.
Now from my spies at the National Enquirer, here’s a preview of next week’s cover!
Another Octomom story  -I can see why Angelina Jolie’s depressed; that used to be her on the cover.


Latest Gossip = Slap Egotists

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